Daily Loaf

The only Disney franchise with a sequel good enough to get a theatrical releases is back, but should we care? The Toy Story 3-D Double Feature (TS3D) costs almost twice as much as a normal movie. 3-D movies have traditionally been a little blurry on screen, and those big goofy glasses can make your head throb. Plus, everyone saw Toy Story and Toy Story 2 years ago when they first came out (though they are now in “The Disney Vault,” and not the easiest movies to get a hold of).  You may also be wondering if Pixar’s early work still looks good over a decade later, given how far computer animation has come in the time since Toy Story’s release? So it’s not worth it? This 3-D double feature is a total rip-off, right?

WRONG! The Toy Story 3-D extravaganza is totally worth every penny!

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Here is the final portion of a story about my recent abortion. If you missed the last part, please read it here. It left off with my walking into the Planned Parenthood office.

I signed in, then sat for about ten minutes, reading Tom Robbins’ Even Cowgirls Get The Blues. When they called me, I signed a few papers, gave my insurance and emergency contact information, then was told to go upstairs.

When I reached the top of the staircase, I saw at least 70 pale, exasperated women waiting. I went to the desk and was given a wristband and a bit more paperwork. Then, I waited. Read the rest of this entry »

Last week, I posted the first part of a story about my recent abortion. I left off on a Saturday, puking my guts out and trying to figure out how I was going to pay for the procedure. Here’s the second portion of my story:

By Sunday, I was still a mess: sleepy, queasy, grumpy, bloaty (7 dwarves of pregnancy?) and my tits hurt like hell.

The previous evening, I had canceled plans with my ex, let’s call him “Marc,” telling him I had a stomach flu. When he called the next day and I was still sick, he wanted to take me to see a doctor. I was stuck: I wanted to spare his feelings, but hated lying to him.

“I’m not sick,” I began. “I’m, well… I’m pregnant.” Read the rest of this entry »

Last week I encountered my first call girl, “Broadway Mary,” when I stopped to ask for directions. Mary claimed she was in Ybor City on “business” that had fallen through; she asked for a ride home. She was reasonably attractive, and I was completely lost, so I complied.

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Remember 1989? Remember the disappointment? How exciting the mere prospect was, the idea that we’d get more of that magical, hilarious madness. Another two hours worth of memorable quotes – what would replace “When someone asks you if you’re a God, you say yes!” or “Listen; Do you smell something?”

But then we got Ghostbusters 2 in all it’s lifeless, tepid, walking Statue of Liberty forgettableness. Who would want another sequel after that mess? And how could we get it two decades after the fact? Of course you’ve guessed the answer – Ghostbusters: The Video Game, which really is the sequel I’ve been waiting for.

All the original busters are back, Murray, Aykroyd, Ramis, and Hudson playing digital, young versions of their now aged and expanded selves. Dan Aykroyd and Harold Ramis are even credited as writers of the game, and I can believe it. The story has the same sensibilities as the original movie, the same over the top mythology and paranormal gobbledygook, and I found it a lot more interesting and entertaining than the Ghostbusters 2 plot. Of course it’s spread out over 7 hours of game play, but that works fine. It’s the transition to digital actors and recorded voice overs that’s less satisfying.

More review and video after the jump: Read the rest of this entry »

It’s hard to feel guilty when people don’t even bother to move out of the way of your tank when it’s about to run them over. That’s good, because Prototype is a game that clearly doesn’t want you to be thinking too much about innocent bystanders, especially if doing so would get in the way of tearing the hell out of anything and everything around you. Still, even I felt a twinge of discomfort while going for the achievement points for running over 500 people with a single tank. In retrospect, this actually works within the convoluted framework of Prototype’s story, but at the time it was just one more way of causing mayhem. Prototype’s all about the mayhem.

You play as Alex, a scientist who always wears a hoodie for some unexplained reason, and who has been infected by a virus that’s quickly turning him into a monster/superhero. And of course you have amnesia. So you’ve got to find out who did this to you while Manhattan dissolves into a chaos of nasty soldiers and even nastier infected who’re constantly attacking each other and you. You get to tear your way through both sides in a blood filled, high speed romp up and down the length of the city as you unlock the secrets of your recent past and search for who’s responsible. If the story sounds typical and uninspired, that’s because it is – amnesia, virus, shadowy government agency, trust no one, and did I mention amnesia? Blah, blah, blah. We’ve seen it all before. Protoype’s setting and story don’t break any new ground and are almost throwaway.

But it’s not the why’s and therefore’s that draw you into Prototype – it’s what you do. Read the rest of this entry »

Have you ever heard the Vietnam-era quote, “war is not healthy for children and other living things?” It is a staunchly obvious and painstakingly reasonable appeal that cuts to the ethical core and casualties of war.  I read an article this week that reminded me of it, but instead of war, the murderous culprit in this story is climate change.

A new report by the Global Humanitarian Forum (GHF) says that global warming already kills about 300,000 people a year.  If that projection is not startling enough– or if you have more of an economic mind, and are not much swayed by stacks of human figures—the report also says that climate change costs around $125 billion in economic losses annually.
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Weighing in for the Beat’s end-of-year industry feature, Abrams Executive Editor Charlie Kochman predicts that the “biggest story in comics in 2009″ will be “the long-awaited publication of Robert Crumb’s Book of Genesis, an adaptation of the Bible story, which Norton will be publishing in Fall 2009.

Here’s a recent update from Crumb’s site:

This winter Robert hopes to complete the Genesis project. He’s on page 190 and has about 14 pages left, with the cover, introduction and various small pages related his agreement with Norton Publishers. It’s been an tremendous undertaking, and a commitment which has taken him four years to complete.

I had a dream the other night that I was on a transatlantic flight on its way to Africa. I was sitting next to a man in a brown jacket, clown pants and Jesus sandals who kept repeating, “Down we go.” That should have given me a clue to the unfortunate end to my dream, or nightmare, but it didn’t. Suddenly, the no-smoking sign started flashing a blood-red color and the pilot got on the intercom and said something along the lines of, “We are going down, hold on to your fucking hats.” I couldn’t really make out what he said, but I’ve always thought that would be the best way to break the news to the passengers. If we’re going to die, I don’t want to hear, “Ladies and gentlemen, I’d like to bring an unfortunate situation to your attention. Blah, blah, blah.” Cut to the chase, man! Anyway, to make a long story short, we plummeted thousands of feet into an island and, magically, I was the only survivor. That is the point when I woke up. And for some batshit crazy reason, the first thing I thought of was an episode of The Office when the employees play Desert Island. This taught me something about myself: Apparently, if I were the sole survivor of a plane crash on a deserted island, the most important thing to me would be what movies I was carrying on me and how I could watch them. So, if that were to happen, and if there were a television and DVD player on this said island, these are the movies I would take… Read the rest of this entry »