Daily Loaf

On this week’s episode of Top Chef Las Vegas we’re down to the Final Five: Hot Bro (Bryan), Angry Bro (Mike), Redbeard (Kevin), Eli “Bonaduce”, and Ceveech (Jen). (Even though I finally learned their real names a few weeks ago, I still like to refer to them as the nicknames we made up for them in our podcast. Deal.)

If you saw the sneak peek of this episode then you already know that this week’s guest judge is none other than American culinary deity Thomas Keller. (If you don’t know who he is, you might want to look him up before watching this episode and then beat yourself up for not being a devoted enough foodie.) It looked as if even the V Brothers were sweating when they learned that Keller would be gracing them with his presence. Surprisingly enough, Ceveech looks a heck of a lot better this week – she even laughs! Should we credit Valium or is she smokin’ the good stuff?

In the preview videos below, we get a peek at tonight’s Quickfire and Elimination Challenges. For their Quickfire, the chefs have 90 minutes to create a ballotine. Yes, I even had to crack open one of my old textbooks to look this one up. (It turns out, the chefs were actually mispronouncing the word.) According to Epicurious’ Food Dictionary, a ballotine (bal-lo-TEEN) is “Meat, fish or fowl that has been boned, stuffed, rolled and tied in the shape of a bundle. It is then braised or roasted and is normally served hot but can be served cold. Often confused with galantine, which is poached and served cold.” As Ceveech put it, it’s a “protein in a protein in a protein”. Or, as I like to think of it, a protein explosion. I like that Ceveech decided, “To hell with all this fancy schmancy gourmet crap!” and went renegade, Paula Deen-style, by making a Turducken.

For the Elimination Challenge, I’m still not quite sure of the actual challenge. It looks in one shot as though they’re making a ton of amuse bouches. In the video below, it seems that Angry Bro and Ceveech are both cooking with the same protein. All I know for sure is Thomas Keller is finally guest judging, which is enough to get me to watch.

In the video below, there is some major foreshadowing going on: Ceveech’s risky salmon dish; Hot Bro is attempting a 10-hour braise in 4 hours and remarks, “I hope that it doesn’t get me in the end.” (*cough*Thatswhatshesaid*cough*); and Redbeard is actually going out on a limb and attempting something he’s never done before, saying it is “one of the edgiest ones [challenges] for me to try and do something that I never do.” (Um, isn’t that no-no number one in Top Chef and has been the downfall of so many cheftestants?) Could a heavy-hitter (someone other than Eli) end up going home tonight? Watch what happens!

Tune in to Bravo tonight at 10 pm EST/9 pm C, check out our own live Tweets during the show (Jeff: @TheStew, Katie: @culinarypirate), and listen to our podcast here tomorrow! (You can now download on iTunes and check out Jeff’s Top Chef Flickr page.)

See videos after the break:
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 At the beginning of this episode, we were pleasantly surprised to find Padma and Nigella Lawson in bed (not together, but one can dream) wanting a hot breakfast served to their room from the cheftestants. Eli gave us a great background on Nigella, saying, “She’s like a less French version of Julia Child; she’s kinda legit.” Right, Eli, because Julia Child was definitely from France and Nigella Lawson is from England (very close to France, though- close, but no cigar). I’m even confused on the logic there.

The ladies were presented with some interesting (to be polite) dishes, like HotBro’s (Bryan) vanilla scented seafood medley with a soft egg and Eli’s reuben inspired benedict with Thousand Island hollandaise (I gagged upon hearing that one). As for Ceveech’s (Jen) S.O.S.: I would have thought Nigella would’ve been into that sort of thing; maybe if Jen had arranged it with a bit more care and didn’t just throw it on the plate. But then I guess then it wouldn’t look like shit, which might’ve been what she was going for. Eli took the won and his Quickfire dish will now be featured in the new Top Chef cookbook (as if Top Chef didn’t have enough to sell).

For the Elimination Challenge, the cheftestants each had a different hotel on the Las Vegas Strip to draw inspiration from for their dishes. It seems they all interpreted this challenge differently: some taking it literally with elements that were supposed to remind one of the particular hotel, while others took it more figuratively by pretty much just making whatever they felt like. For example: I don’t understand how Redbeard’s dish said “The Mirage”: was it the hidden spice underneath the salmon? And the fact that HotBro used the aquarium from his hotel (which had nothing to do with the ocean) to model his dish just perplexed me. Are there not rules to this sort of challenge? I guess not because those who took the challenge literally ended up on the bottom this week.

I’ll give it to Ceveech for doing a play on ‘The Sword and the Stone’ element from Excalibur, though her beef was literally like gnawing on a stone. Eli’s Caramel Apple Peanut Soup with Popcorn Raspberry Froth looked like someone vomited after eating too much at the fair. I couldn’t believe he came up with that. Robin’s panna cotta didn’t “quiver like a courtesan’s thigh”, but at least it was edible and non-offensive. We discuss in this podcast the fact the judges have claimed that they judge on a week-by-week basis and don’t look at the chef’s portfolios overall- but we disagree, especially in this case.

Highlights: Drooling over Nigella, the dishes that made us queasy, Hot Bro stalking, and our bets for the finale.

Hear the hilarious podcast after the jump:
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As most of you have seen from last week’s preview and from the pictures being passed around the ‘net, Padma and Nigella Lawson (popular English cookboook author and TV chef) are in bed together for this week’s Quickfire Challenge. Okay, maybe not in bed together, but in beds that are right next to each other (I’ll leave it up to your imagination as to what’s under those robes though). They’re demanding breakfast in bed from the cheftestants- they want it hot, and they want it now.

From the looks of the preview video below, Eli is attempting some god-awful sounding sauce concoction, Robin makes like eggs and frantically scrambles her way around the kitchen, and AngryBro (Mike) curses up a storm (surprise) and blames Robin for wasting 5 minutes of his precious time.

For the Elimination Challenge, each cheftestant has to cook a dish inspired by one of the big hotels in Las Vegas. It’s great to finally see them do a Las Vegas-themed challenge because I think many of us forgot where they were this season.

In the preview for the Elimination Challenge, we get to see HotBro (Bryan) and AngryBro (Mike) visit the hotels that will serve as the inspiration for their dishes. AngryBro states that he will be paying homage to firefighters (his hotel is New York, New York) with his dish but still “cooking it his way”. I hope that means he’s going to light something on fire – that would surely blow his brother’s creation out of the water (you’ll get the bad pun if you watch the video below).

Tune in to Bravo tonight at 10 pm EST/9 pm C, check out our own live Tweets during the show (Jeff: @TheStew, Katie: @culinarypirate), and listen to our podcast here tomorrow! (You can now download on iTunes and check out Jeff’s Top Chef Flickr page.)

Videos after the break.
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Sadly, there will be no new Top Chef Las Vegas episode tonight – how will I get my Bryan Voltaggio fix? Luckily, we will be graced with a Top Chef All Stars Reunion! That’s right, now we get to catch up with some of the most loved (and loathed) cheftestants from seasons past.

First of all, I have a soft spot in my heart for the Italian stallion, Fabio (season 5), but why did they choose him to host the show? Yes, his mispronunciation of most English words and phrases is adorable, but we could barely understand him the first time he was on the show. Maybe they chose him to host because of his innocence and aloofness when pushing peoples’ buttons (see videos below) when asking why they were such jerks on their seasons and bringing up past rivalries. That way he might have a lesser chance of getting punched in the face, perhaps?

Be sure to check out the clip (below) where he interviews the biggest jerks (and least favorite contestants) from seasons 1 through 4: Tiffany, Marcel (still sporting the Dragonball Z hairdo), Hung, and Stefan. This is obviously just the beginning of tonight’s drama.

Also notice in the dinner party clip that all of the aforementioned jerks and hot heads from past seasons are seated at the center of the table and the nice guys, like Richard Blais, are at the very end. Who wants to hear from the people who stirred up the least drama anyway? (And why is Dale there at all?)

Finally, I’d just like to say that I’d pay to see Fabio put the smackdown on Marcel. As Bravo’s catchphrase goes: “Watch what happens!”

Tune in to Bravo tonight at 10 pm EST/9 pm C, check out our own live Tweets during the show (Jeff: @TheStew, Katie: @culinarypirate), and listen to our podcast when we return next week! (You can now download on iTunes and check out Jeff’s Top Chef Flickr page.)

Videos after the break:
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Last week’s episode sure got my hopes up. I hate to keep complaining about what a snooze-fest this season is, but seriously, it is. Is it the contestants? Is it the editing of the show? Why can’t someone cut themselves or make out with another contestant like last season? Oh, it’s supposed to be about the food – right.

This week’s Quickfire consisted of creating a TV dinner (in a plastic tray, even) inspired by a classic television show. Redbeard (Kevin) gets The Sopranos, so he makes meatballs. Okay. Eli gets Gilligan’s Island, so he makes macadamia nut-crusted shrimp. Fitting. Ceveech (Jen) gets The Flintstones, so she makes a chicken roulade. Huh? And Jersey Mike has never even seen Seinfeld so he just pulls something out of his ass. I understand that most of the shows are a bit before their time, but seriously, who isn’t familiar with them? Maybe I expected some of them to be a little more cultured and up-to-date on their classic television (excluding Jersey Mike). Anyway, Redbeard takes the win. Big surprise, though I was a little amazed that he didn’t use pork in his dish.

For the Elimination Challenge, the chefs were let loose in Tom’s restaurant, Craftsteak, where they go apeshit over all of the choice proteins they think they’re going to use. Then their guest judge is introduced: Natalie Portman! And guess what? She’s a vegetarian! (Didn’t we see this in Top Chef Masters?) The cheftestants’ faces then immediately took on the “oh shit” look and they all turned white.

Jersey Mike claimed to be an expert on vegetarian cuisine, Redbeard said he doesn’t eat meat during Lent (meaning: he doesn’t eat pork products), and Eli proceeded to give vegetarians a lovely compliment by saying that they’re “lower human beings”. In the end, Jersey Mike tries to pass of undercooked leeks as a protein and gets the axe, while Redbeard takes the win with his “manly” veggie dish.

More fashion foibles this season: Padma’s tube top/pant suit atrocity, Ceveech’s tube top dress and open-toe ankle boots ensemble a la Pretty Woman, and Gail Simmons’ green prom dress circa Dynasty ‘86.

Podcast highlights: Natalie’s colorful language at the dinner table and her lack of ethnic friends, Ceveech’s “Philly Camaro” hair and falling self-esteem, and a plethora of ”That’s what she said” jokes.

Hear the hilarious podcast after the jump:
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As we saw in last week’s episode of Top Chef Las Vegas, the stakes and drama are getting higher and it’s getting harder to predict who will be going home next (with the majority of the weak links now gone). We’ve seen some of the heavy-hitters, like Ceveech (Jen), slipping up and some of the underdogs, like Robin, excel. I’m just excited that we’re finally getting to the meat of this competition, after cutting away the fat like Phranc (Preeti), Mary Kay Letourneau (Eve), and cleaner of Picasso’s paintbrushes, Ash.

Tonight’s episode looks entertaining because the cheftestants are getting all kinds of curve balls thrown at them. Their Quickfire Challenge is to cook a TV dinner (complete with plastic tray) inspired by a classic television show, i.e.: M*A*S*H, Gilligan’s Island, etc.

After viewing the preview video below, it looks as if some of the chefs are out of their element, like Eli who claims to have never eaten a TV dinner. And why would he when he lives at home with his mother who probably waits on him hand and foot? Our one-time favorite, whom some of us had in their top three, Ceveech, looks like she’s drowning in self-doubt again this week as well. Will this affect her power ranking or even her spot in the finale? (I know I’m changing my bet on the finale trifecta.)
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Like me, most of you Top Chef fans probably get a little anxious by this time of the week – it’s been how many days since the last episode?! Well, I’m here to give you a Top Chef fix to help you get through the next few days. Since the Restaurant Wars episode aired last Wednesday, I have come across some very exciting news about  future seasons and a few stupidly entertaining videos from the current season.
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Drama! Action! Blindfolds! (Sounds kinky.) I know we’re going to see at least two of those in tonight’s episode of Top Chef…hopefully. It’s that time of the season again: Restaurant Wars! We’ll get to see who works fairly well together for the win and who gets the blame for having the losing restaurant, thus going down in flames.

Yet again, we see drama surrounding Robin and apparently she and Angry Bro (Mike V.) are the ones going at it this week during Restaurant Wars. It looks like, from the video below, that the V. Brothers and Robin are on a team working together in the kitchen for this challenge. With Angry Bro as the apparent team leader, it seems that he thinks it gives him an excuse to give Robin hell this week. I’m very much looking forward to her finally losing her cool and cursing him out, and also interested in seeing how the V. Brothers work together for this challenge, Will Mike will try to throw Bryan under the bus? Twenty bucks says he’ll try to do that to Robin.
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Is it episode 8 already? Well, we’re still here, still podcasting about Top Chef Las Vegas (no, this isn’t the Hell’s Kitchen podcast). Unfortunately this week we are sans our resident wine guru, Taylor. Fortunately, Jeff provided us with a different form of bubbly to enjoy during our gab session this week- Stella Artois (whose commercials play during Top Chef- coincidence?).

 At the beginning of the episode we learned that Angry Bro (Mike V.) thinks he’s the Babe Ruth of Top Chef and that Eli still lives at home – he’d admit this on national television, why?

The Quickfire revealed that Charlie Palmer is the guest judge and former boss of the V. Brothers (and swore he won’t play favorites), and their secret ingredient is a potato chip. Classy, Bravo.  They’ve already had to pair shots with dishes, so why not snack food this time around? Personally, I’d pair my Funyuns with a braised lamb shank in a lovely sherry demi glace. Ceveech was a nervous wreck again this week and it looks like she didn’t use her Macy’s gift card from last week’s win to get herself a makeover (your roots are showing, girl). Eli ends up taking home this challenge (cough*finally*cough) and represents for ATL. He also muses that he can be the first to win a Quickfire and Elimination Challenge in the same episode. Right.

For the Elimination Challenge, each cheftestant had to use a different cut of pork for their dish and pair it with the pinot noir they chose to use.  Who knew Eli was such a wino, I mean- wine connoisseur? They then had to cook for 150 guests at Charlie Palmer’s fundraiser event, Pigs and Pinot. Of course, the V. Brothers, Redbeard (Kevin), and Ceveech got great reviews, while Ash, Robin and Whatsherface’s (Laurine) dishes were not so popular at this event.

Much to our surprise (hint of sarcasm), Redbeard won with a pork dish again, and Ash ended up getting the boot. (Top Chef Rule #3: Don’t tell the judges that you didn’t cook the dish that you had originally intended to.) It was good that they put Ash out of his misery, though - after learning that he could no longer clean Picasso’s paintbrushes, he felt that the Top Chef life just wasn’t worth living.

Looks like it’s Restaurant Wars next week, so maybe we’ll finally see some action that will have us on the edge of our seats. Well, enough action to keep our interest, at least.

Highlights: Laurine makes cat food, Robin being “passive-aggressive” and at the center of the drama in the house (seen here), asking: “What Would Carla Do?”, our predictions for Padma’s baby-daddy, and the best “That’s What She Said” line of the episode.

Hear the hilarious podcast after the jump:
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As we’ve been discussing the last few weeks in the Top Chef Podcast, there seems to be a lot of tension between Robin and Eli. Well, between Robin and almost everyone, it seems. Is it because they don’t respect her as much as some of the cheftestants that were booted before her? Or are they just being childish and disrespectful? Tonight’s episode will give us more drama, as Robin and Eli get to smack talkin’ again and Robin proves that she is not Eli’s mother, as seen in the preview clip below.

Also, the V. Brothers (Hot Bro- Bryan, Angry Bro- Michael) have got their panties in a wad over this week’s guest judge, Charlie Palmer – a famous chef and restaurateur. You see, Charlie used to be both of the V. Boys’ boss, and it makes them quite nervous to be cooking for him in the Quickfire Challenge (or rather, heating up some frozen potato product, as it looks like in the video below). Ceveech (Jen) even looks to be losing her cool during this challenge. I think it’d be really hilarious and ironic if Robin took this win.
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This week, we’re back in the Champagne Room (aka: the podcast bunker) to kvetch about episode 7 of  Top Chef. (What did you think this was, the Project Runway Podcast?)

Was this episode painfully boring or was it just my short attention span? I’m going to sum it up much like the cheftestants had to get the specs for their Quickfire dish, Cookstr-style: Tired, bland, and contrived. Tyler Florence (insert Applebee’s sellout joke here) didn’t even add to the excitement as the guest judge:  he lacks the street cred that the majority of the prior guest judges this season had.

For the Quickfire Challenge, the chefs had to create a dish using the three description words that the Cookstr slot machine gave them. What is “stressed” food, by the way? ‘Stress food’, as in, a pint of Ben & Jerry’s? Or maybe a lobster that was just dropped into a boiling cauldron of water. I digress. Ultimately, we learned that passing off a Middle Eastern dish with Indian curry to Padma just doesn’t fly, Jersey Mike really knows his Asian food- note the sarcasm, and Ceveech sure loves her scallops (maybe we’ll start calling her ‘Top Scallop’ from now on).

For the Elimination Challenge, the players drew knives to see who they’d be teamed up with to cook a potluck-style dinner for Tyler Florence and Macy’s Culinary Council (some great chefs they gave no background info on)…in their own home kitchen. 10 chefs + 1 home kitchen = madness. Each team got a mystery bag of ingredients they had to use in their dish, along with whatever was in the pantry. The only major drama in this part of the episode was the pairing of Jersey and Robin, Angry Brother (Mike V.) losing power to his electric wok, and Ashley’s over salted gnocchi.

Ceveech ends up taking the win, getting a $10k gift card from Macy’s, which hopefully she’ll end up spending on a new wardrobe and on an entire makeover (too bad you can’t buy class). Much to my delight, greaseball Ben Folds was sent packing for her salty gnocchi and all-around bad idea for a dish. The show will feel much cleaner now.

Highlights: The horrid clothes this episode (namely Padma, Tom, and Ben Folds), Ash sure knows how to set a table (is this Top Tablescape Artist?), Hot Bro (Bryan) gets all sassy and puts everyone in their place for ragging on his lil’ bro, and where the heck is Whatsherface (Laurine) this episode?

Hear the hilarious podcast after the jump:
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You see it on Top Chef all the time. The hobbled, baby wildebeest limping around the kitchen. A chef barely hanging on in the competition. Scared and bleeding. On their last legs. With a few hyena snapping at their ankles. A lions pride, calmly in the brush, watching.Figuratively, Robin is that wildebeest.Literally, though, she’s a true survivor.Eli’s unfortunate comments cast judgment on Robin’s inspiration and victory this week. It was the type of comment that probably had more than one person, including myself, saying “Oh no, he didn’t”.
He did.I can’t defend his choice of words. Even though I can vouch for his character (he happens to be an extremely loyal and family-focused person).But I can help you imagine his mindset.When you’re a young chef, overly ambitious and obsessed with your craft, cancer doesn’t mean much.  When you work in a great restaurant and push hard every day, nothing else means as much.  A tight brunoise or turned vegetable are all that matters.  Life is barely a blip on the radar.
It reminds me of this quote from White Heat by Marco Pierre White.“When boys don’t last the pace that makes me feel good because I can and I will”. – chef de partie at Harvey’s.
That is a ruthless yet accurate comment. Read the rest of this entry »

This week, we’re back in the Champagne Room (aka: the podcast bunker) to rag on episode 6 of the new season on Top Chef.

I have to admit that the “Angels and Devils” theme for the Quickfire Challenge was a bit cheesy (and so were some of the dishes, and I’m not talking dairy here). The cheftestants had to create a duo dish using one main component two ways. Some of the chefs were a bit peeved at Robin’s win with her apple salad and apple crisp. Was Eli right to mock her for playing the cancer story card? No. But I do have to say that Penn and Teller were awesome. Anyway, we welcomed back the lovely Michelle Bernstein from Miami (a past judge on Top Chef) as guest judge this week.

For their Elimination Challenge, the chefs had to deconstruct a classic dish but keep the same flavors of the original dish. The judges table was very- how shall I put this – bitchy this week. The claws were out with Padma and Michelle and it was no-holds-barred with the critiques to the chefs on the bottom of the barrel this week. It was also great to see Michelle put Toby Young in his place concerning the pronunciation of “paella” (and the city of “Barthelona”).

We also got to see Ben Folds (Ashley) on top again this week (surprisingly), as well as Redbeard (Kevin) and Angry Brother (Mike V.). From all of the flack and hate comments we received over last week’s post/episode, I won’t reveal the winner or loser. (But, seriously, why listen if you haven’t seen the episode yet?)

Highlights: Eli hates on Robin for pulling the ‘cancer card’, Ron “The Chowder King”’s not-s0-deconstructed paella, how to pronounce “paella”, Jeff’s new bell, Katie’s thing for married chefs, and our response about the spoilers from last week’s episode.

Hear the hilarious podcast after the jump:
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Toby Young is back, and he’s still “very, very British.”

In last night’s magic themed episode of Top Chef Las Vegas, Toby Young, the show’s resident foul mouthed, analogy-making Brit, returned to judge the remaining cheftestants deconstructed versions of classic dishes, from a showy caesar salad to eggs “foreign to me,” alongside deconstructionist showmen Penn and Teller. Fittingly, both classic British dishes – shepherd’s pie and fish and chips – flopped last night, failing to meet Toby, or even Teller’s, expectations. Ash’s shepherd’s pie was clunky on the plate and poorly cooked (his tomato looked like a bad tomato Provencal I actually did get at a buffet in Vegas) and Laurine’s fish and two chips, aside from being overcooked, failed to recreate the fatty flavor of fries.

Ultimately, though, it was Ron’s pathetic paella, his countless mediocre fish dish of the season, that was deemed the worst of the night and sent the Haitian chef packing his knives. While I doubt Ron thought he was the best chef of the bunch, his disillusioned commentary (“I could win for this,” “I’ve made award-winning clam chowder”) made him seem out of touch with the competition and his abilities throughout much of the season. Thankfully, his heartfelt goodbye saved some face and helped to show that at least a part of his cocky/confused persona was created in editing. Keep living the dream, Ron – one day you can cook for Tyra Banks. Read the rest of this entry »

This week, we’re back in the Champagne Room (aka: the podcast bunker) to rag on episode 5 of the new season on Top Chef.

I have to say that I really enjoyed the theme of this episode, cowboy/ranch-themed cookery, and that the Quickfire and Elimination Challenges went along with the main theme. I do wish, though, that the viewers would’ve chosen rattlesnake as the Quickfire ingredient over cactus. Rattlesnake “ceveech” anyone? It was also nice to see “What’s-her-face” (Laurine) pull out from the middle and get recognized for her food. Is she the next Carla? I don’t think so, but we have yet to see.

For the Elimination Challenge, I thought it was great/hilarious to see that the chefs had to not only cook outdoors on a camp site, but sleep there as well. We really got to separate the chefs from the line cooks when we saw who utilized their makeshift kitchen properly and who didn’t get that raw fish and 150-degree weather don’t mix. And Ron “The Chowder King” will now be referred to as “The Voodoo King” after voodoo ritual he performed on his tent.

Highlights from our Podcast: Angry Brother’s incessant cockiness and whining, Ben Folds (Ashley), really needs a shower, Padma’s “cowgirl chic”, Frenchy (Mattin) makes the judges sick (literally), and Chef Tim Love’s p-p-p-poker face.

Check out season 4’s Richard Blais’ post on his thoughts about last week’s episode and on the Wonder Brothers, Bryan (”Hot Brother”) and Michael (”Angry Brother”) Voltaggio.

(Editors Note: There is a spoiler concerning the gender of the winner of this season of Top Chef in this episode of our podcast. It may or may not be correct, but don’t listen if you don’t want to hear our speculation.)

Hear the hilarious podcast after the jump:
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This week’s Top Chef certainly clarified that the cast’s brothers, Bryan and Michael Voltaggio, are more than just a slick casting call exploited by the show to infuse more drama. Of course, if they were gay, well, that would have been network gold, I’m sure! Happily though, they are short on controversy and big on talent.

Our industry has some significant brother combinations. There are the Adria brothers, and the famed Troisgros family, even though the latter is more like a Jackson family phenomenon. And even as you’re reading this I’m sure you’re noting many more from your own local scene. Here in the Southeast, the Rathbun brothers come to mind.

I started to think about who they collectively remind me of, and lo and behold, it was made clear on Sunday. The Voltaggio boys are seemingly on a course to become the Mannings of the Top Chef universe. Read the rest of this entry »

This week, we’re back to rag on episode 4 of the new season on Top Chef. I do have to say, since they’ve been cutting the fat (2 people went home this week) it’s been getting better.

This episode had French written all over it: a Quickfire judged by Daniel Boulud featuring escargot (snails), an Elimination Challenge involving pairing classical French sauces with French-related proteins (i.e.: frog’s legs, rabbit, lobster), and a dining table filled with some of the most famous French chefs of our time: Joel Robuchon (The “Unicorn”), Daniel Boulud, Hubert Keller, Laurent Tourondel, and Jean Joho.

Highlights from our Podcast: We slip into French accents to set the mood, Jeff describes how dirty “Ben Folds” (Ashley) is, the debate over Frenchy’s (Mattin) sexuality and if he has a thing for Jersey Mike, Katie thinks “Ceveech” (Jennifer) and “Angry Brother” (Mike V.) are ‘banging’ out a lot more than dishes, “Jack Black” (Jesse- pictured at right) finally gets set free, and we take a stab at predicting our trifecta for the finale.

Check out season 4’s Richard Blais’ post on his thoughts about last week’s episode, and about the common ingredient used last week: mustard (plus a great recipe for agave nectar mustard).

Hear the hilarious podcast after the jump:

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In last night’s episode of Top Chef Las Vegas, Atlanta chef Kevin Gillespie became cheftestant royalty as he sat down for dinner alongside a panel of crazy famous French chefs, including the chef of the century “unicorn” Joel Robuchon. Kevin’s take on snails paired with southern inspired bacon jam (“I think you could put bacon jam on anything and you’re golden”) won him the affection of guest judge Daniel Boulud and, in a very cool twist, the opportunity to clean up, don a suit (production actually bought him a new one), and eat rather than cook during the elimination challenge.

Bacon didn’t work as well for Frenchman Mattin, whose embarrassing bacon infused veloute landed him at the loser’s table. While it was too obvious Mattin would fail the challenge (just how much country-pride pressure can you put on one neckerchiefed man?), it was surprising that he didn’t take more heat, or responsibility, for his role in the dish. After lying at judge’s table about his level of input on Ashley’s ideas (he volunteered his disapproval of the asparagus, but didn’t cop up that he vetoed putting it in the sauce, a suggestion Tom had liked), Mattin showed that even in a challenge geared towards his strengths (“I think they make a challenge just for me”), he wasn’t much of a chef. At least Robuchon complimented his French.

The rest of the evening’s French sounded too Americaine Read the rest of this entry »

In the third episode of Top Chef: Las Vegas, both winning teams use one common ingredient. A very common ingredient, but one that I consider quite special. It’s probably sitting on your shelf right now. A container full of swagger and an essential, go-to-bottle for your next company quickfire.

Mustard.
In any form.
I consider it to be in the list of top five things to always have on hand in your pantry.

And as condiments go, it’s the R rated version to ketchup’s PG rating. The beer to soda pop. For that matter, alternative music to pop music…sex to making out. And the reasons why are pretty simple from a pure flavor standpoint.

Mustard’s main role is to add acidity, closely followed by spice. Acid in a dish is a flavor that you hardly notice when it’s right but desperately miss when it isn’t. Where ketchup basks in its simple, one note of sweetness and success, mustard toils in the background. Never getting the press or attention, but confidently showing up in your fridge, day after day. I guess mustard is the offensive line. Or better yet, maybe the infantry is more appropriate for this military-themed challenge.

Last week, Michael Voltaggio, and Kevin Gillespie Read the rest of this entry »

This week, we’re back for round 3 of the new season on Top Chef. (Editor’s Note: Our podcast was more exciting than this episode, so listen to it even if you haven’t seen the episode yet.)

The quickfire challenge was to make and “out-of-this-world” potato dish and the cheftestants served up some interesting spuds. I was very impressed with Ashley (”Ben Folds”) for pulling off gnocchi in 45 minutes. But Jennifer (”Ceveech”) ended up taking the win with mussels in a potato broth (I did not agree with this win, but you’ll have to listen to the podcast to hear my reasoning).

For their elimination, the chefs had to cook for 300 airmen and their families at an Air Force base. The catch- they had to use some canned items and their kitchens had no burners, just large ovens and tilt skillets. For some reason, the chefs decided to pair up into teams, even though they were not instructed to. This, obviously, became the demise for a few of them. Highs: The Atlanta “fat kids”, Eli and Kevin (”Redbeard”), pulled off some delicious-looking pulled pork and Southern potato salad and the less hotter brother (Michael V.) did some slab bacon in a lettuce leaf – because bacon makes everything taste better, even salad). Lows: Laurine and Preeti’s dull pasta salad and Michael I.’s (”Jersey Mike”) Greek oil-poached shrimp salad. After not getting why she was in the bottom three again (and arguing about it), Preeti (”Phranc”) was sent packing.

I am disappointed in this episode yet again. The dishes in the elimination challenge weren’t that impressive – as we said in the podcast: “If you (the viewer) can cook one of these dishes at home, you’re (the cheftestant) probably packing your knives.”  Maybe when they start knocking more people off we’ll be able to get down to the more talented contestants and also get to know their cooking styles better.

The only highlights from this episode: Padma’s “desert skank” wear and massive amounts of cleavage at the air base, Ron the “Chowder King”, and all of our Top Gun jokes (bonus: Jeff sings some more).

Check out season 4’s Richard Blais’ post on his thoughts about last week’s episode, discussing the simple vs. contrived dishes (cooking for the diners vs. for the judges).

Hear the Top Gun Chef podcast after the jump:
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In Episode 2 of Top Chef: Las Vegas, there were a few obvious, spirited political issues included in the plot. One was whether or not a girls versus boys challenge is sexist. And, of course, the legalization of gay marriage.

You’ll all be glad that I’m not going to discuss those issues in this column. OK, well, for the record, I think people should be able to wed whomever they want.

But, what I felt was the biggest controversy of the episode was the comment made that the boys’ food was “contrived” and that mass appeal is as important as the judges’ opinion.

These are both issues I take pretty seriously. The former is an issue we battle every day in my kitchens.

I’ll be honest, I’m fed up with the whole Read the rest of this entry »

This week, we were fortunate enough to get Jeff Houck back in the studio to join the old gang so we could rag on the new season on Top Chef.

This season we have 17 fresh faces, many of them with titles and accolades under their belts – not to mention all of the tattoos and piercings all over their bodies. During episode one, we meet the new cheftestants, get to see the new Vegas style twist to the show (winning $15k and/or immunity for every Quickfire Challenge), and learn that a seitan-filled chile relleno just doesn’t cut it to stay on this show.

During episode two, the remaining 16 got to have a battle of the sexes challenge and cater for a bachelor/ette party. While the girls talked a big game, it turns out that they just couldn’t stand up to what the guys dished out and another female got sent home.

Personally, I’m somewhat disappointed with the females this season, besides “Ceveech” (Jennifer C. – but she annoys me anyway). I wanted to see some more Jamies (last season) or Elias (season 2). Luckily, we have some really talented male chefs (3 from Atlanta) who are all executive chefs and sous chefs – with awards out the wazoo – who are rockin’ it out every week.

Highlights: Todd English’s sex appeal, the Gay List (we’re up to 3 now), Rule #1 in Top Chef, the Cain and Abel of this season, and the chefs get all wet.

Check out season 4’s Richard Blais’ post on his thoughts about the episode and cast (he’s totally blogging for us now).

Hear the hilarious podcast after the jump:
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As I cover Top Chef Season 6 in Las Vegas for Bravo, I take a few seconds of action each week and throw it under the microscope. I often find one or two moments each episode that either reveal a industry insider’s secret or, as a former competitor, something I have a behind the scenes take on.

In episode 1 of Las Vegas, both of these moments came together in the same sequence. It was the kiss that Jennifer Carroll gave Tom Colicchio. And the facial expression that Tom made immediately following.

I’ve read on a few blogs that some people feel the kiss was inappropriate.

I don’t think so. Read the rest of this entry »

This is it — the final episode, where we learn who is the Master of the Top Chefs.

I was quite impressed with this episode because they did away with the drama and really focused on the food (well, there was some nail-biting drama at the final judging). The chefs had to cook a four-course meal that told a story about their culinary career: Their earliest food memory, the experience that made them want to become a chef, their first restaurant, and where they’re heading in the future with their career. Their dishes were gorgeous (except for Michael’s whole fried fish) and made me want to reach through the screen to taste them.

Tom Colicchio, Padma Lakshmi and the five former Top Chef winners joined the judges to feast upon the cheftestants’ dishes (yes, Hosea is still alive). We also got to see some old pictures of the chefs, from childhood to their early career days — not pretty pictures, these guys definitely were late bloomers.

Highlights: Rick Bayless’ orgasmic mole (mo-lay, as in, the sauce) which took Jay Rayner’s “mole [mo-lay] virginity”; our fantasy Padma-on-Kelly chick fight; Keller’s former life as a dirty hippie; Chiarello’s diss at James Oseland; Jay wanting to bathe with Gail in Chiarello’s food; and the revelation of the winner.

At the end of our podcast, we discussed the new season of Top Chef and ragged on the newbies (and their crazy body art), but tune in next week to hear our rants on the first and second episodes of the season. Yes, we’re continuing this podcast — much to your delight.

Hear the exciting podcast after the jump:
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What a steamy episode this was! I think the title says it all, but you’ll have to listen to our podcast to hear it for yourself.

The Quickfire Challenge this week was the infamous blindfolded taste test. Kelly Choi blinfolded each cheftestant and they had a variety of ingredients to taste and guess – hoisin sauce, ketchup, peanut butter, dashi, poppadum, etc. Surprisingly enough, Mr. Italian himself, Chiarello, took the win for this challenge. I especially enjoyed the blindfolding part, and apparently so did Keller.

Surprise! A bunch of old Top Chef has-beens enter the scene to team up with the chefs and help them cook a buffet spread for 200 “Hollywood insiders” (who or what they were inside, I had no clue). To my happy delight, we got Fabio (”This is not Top Scallop!”) and Jamie from the last season, Elia and Ilan from season 2, Richard, Spike and Antonia from season 3, and some other guys I only kind of remembered. Each chef picked their teams and got to work. But an even bigger surprise was in store for them (go figure) – they had to not only move their buffet outside (read: not good for a raw bar) but also lose a team member before service. Of course the show is going to try to screw everyone over by the final episode!

Highlights: Dale getting all up in Chiarello’s face while Chiarello tries to keep it together and not curb stomp this dude, Anita Lo cursing for what I think was the first time on TCM, the power duo of Bayless and Blais combining their powers to whip up a creamy avocado ice cream, Chiarello being a douchebag throughout most of the episode, Keller smoking out the night before the challenge, and Jay Rayner is badly in need of an extreme makeover. Drama! Action! Excitement! (And the podcast is even better.)

Hear the steamy podcast after the jump: Read the rest of this entry »

First of all, I want to say that the views expressed in this podcast are not the opinions of all of us on the panel and definitely not those of Creative Loafing. That being said, if you’re a vegan, we’re apologizing beforehand for this one.

For the quickfire challenge, the cheftestants had quite a juicy challenge: burgers! They each had to create a burger with an accompanying side dish. All of the dishes seemed to reflect their creator – well, maybe not Anita Lo who made “burger soup”, which was runny cheese with chunks of burger. Really, that’s all you’ve got this week, Anita? Girl looked like she was sorely in need of some Ambien, that’s all I’m sayin’. Oh, and I must diss on Bayless (my hot white Mexican chocolate) for serving up guacamole as a side dish. No wait, three different kinds of guac as a side and without chips to dip in them! C’mon, Ricky, guacamole is a condiment.

For the elimination challenge, the cheftestants had to each cater a different course for a luncheon for actress/wannabe singer Zooey Deschanel and her tragic hipster pals. The twist (or “the rat”, as Art put it): Zooey is a VEGAN (read: no meat, fish or dairy) who can’t have anything with gluten or soy either. No meat, no cheese, no wheat, no soy faux meat products, and sorry Art- no fried chicken.

Highlights: Art Smith’s cheat rice milk ice cream (cop out) mixed with strawberries that looked like menses, Chiarello’s chemo (’quinoa’) pasta, Zooey’s tragic hipster party guests, Bayless’ perfectionist tendencies, Anita’s “sad plate”, and general vegan bashing. Bonus: Next week, we get to welcome back past Top Chef contestants Spike, Dale, and Richard Blais (and his fab faux hawk)!

Hear the hi-larious podcast after the jump: Read the rest of this entry »

In this first episode of the Championships Round, we welcomed back Hubert “The Other French Guy” Keller, Suzanne “Cold Fish” Tracht, Anita “Cowardly Lion” Lo, Michael “Brown Noser” Chiarello, Art “Honey Bear” Smith, and the delicious Rick “Hot Mexican Chili” Bayless (I’m not partial, I swear).

For the quickfire challenge, the chefs got into two teams and had a Mise en Place Relay Race (a.k.a: chopping and prepping food items) to see whose team was faster, the winner then getting an extra point toward the Elimination Challenge. Let me tell you, that Rick Bayless sure knows how to use a whisk for some hot whisking action – those egg whites sure were at stiff peaks…among other things. Anyhow, back on track, the Bayless/Lo/Keller team took the win.

The chefs were then asked to cook their signature dishes for each other to enjoy. I swear Michael Chiarello put roadkill on a plate and called it dinner, the balsamic glaze looking very much like blood on top of the quail which was sprawled out on the plate. Not cute. Hubert Keller made an interesting lobster and truffle “cappuccino” which was an interesting take on soup (I think it was soup) and Rick made an amazing-looking roasted rack of lamb with pasilla chiles and mission figs (Did I mention I’m not partial to Bayless?).

For the Elimination Challenge, the chefs had to cook another chef’s signature dish but put their own spin on it. What did we get? Cold grouper (Tracht), undercooked ground lamb in a “Scotch egg” (Smith), creamed sea urchin (Keller), lobster on a biscuit (Lo), rack of lamb with figs shoved in it (Chiarello), and some delightful looking quail and parsnips (Bayless).

Highlights: Kelly Choi seeming to be withering away, Art’s “egg issues” and name dropping, the Gael Greene and Elvis affair, the possibility of Anita Lo sabotaging her own food in future episodes just to get kicked off the show, and Rick Bayless’ magical powers of Mexican cuisine.

Hear the hi-larious podcast after the jump: Read the rest of this entry »

In this episode, the master chefs had to shop only from one specific aisle in the grocery store for their Quickfire Challenge. I’m sorry, let me correct myself – from Whole Foods Market, having traveled there in their Lexus, and bringing along their handy Gladware storage containers to store the food which would be cooked in/on GE appliances. Oh, and all while sipping on Diet Cherry Dr. Pepper (did I get all of the sponsors in?).

The Elimination Challenge was somewhat tricky: each cheftestant had to shop for another to create a mystery box of ingredients. The recipient of that box then had to choose seven items to utilize in their dish. So each chef decided to totally screw the other one over by giving them crazy ingredients, and Roy Yamaguchi got pissed and went Samaurai on everyone. (No, not really, I just wanted to create some drama for this episode that had to be the most drama-free, playing-it-nice episode yet. *yawn*). No Jay Rayner this week again but we feel all of the brown-colored ingredients on Johnathan Waxman’s plates sufficed to replace Jay’s mole in this episode.

Highlights: Gail Simmons‘ chest as a topic of much conversation (again), Kelly Choi looking very much in need of a proper meal and a better stylist as usual (no, we don’t know who she’s wearing), Johnathan Waxman needs glasses, Art Smith’s lovey-dovey teary-eyed speech at the judges table, and Roy Yamaguchi wanting to be “friends forever” with his new chef pals.

Hear the hi-larious podcast after the jump: Read the rest of this entry »

This week, our podcast team was sans Jeff Houck, but we were delighted to have PoHo writer Wayne Garcia join in on the fun (and he gave us a new theme song). Otherwise, it was the regular crew of Taylor, Stephen, and myself (Katie).

In this episode, the master chefs had to put a spin on a junk food dish for their Quickfire challenge, and everyone loved Michael Chiarello’s (former Food Network chef) balls – fish balls, that is. We in the studio also chatted about our fondness for fishsticks.

Read the rest of this entry »

This week, we were again graced with the presence of Jeff Houck (The Stew), as well as the usual suspects: Taylor Eason, Stephen Hammill, and yours truly, Katie Machol.

Our cheftestants had to participate in another MacGyver-style (or MacGruber, as we like to think) elimination challenge: The One Armed Egg Challenge! (Not as dirty as it sounds, though Anita Lo used her teeth a lot.) We also finally get to see Doogie Howser (a.k.a.: Neil Patrick Harris) as a guest judge, along with Top Chef regular Gail Simmons, and a surprise visit from Tom Colicchio.

After much discussion and debate over the show and challenges presented, we asked ourselves this: Does Neil Patrick Harris’ love of magic make him less cool now?
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This week, we chat about Top Chef Masters, episode 3: “Offal Tasty”. Again, we were graced with the presence and wit of Jeff Houck (The Tampa Tribune, The Stew), as well as the usual suspects: Taylor Eason, Stephen Hammill, and Katie Machol.

Highlights include: the power of Rick Bayless’ soul patch, Katie impersonating Ludo’s French accent, Jay Rayner’s mole, and Jeff sings for us yet again.

Read the rest of this entry »

This week we discussed episode 2 of Top Chef Masters: The Lost Supper. Our special guest this week was Jeff Houck, food writer for The Tampa Tribune, who added a great dose of humor to the show and kept us in stitches.
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If you have been paying attention to all of the ads and the commercials on Bravo, you’ll already know that the Top Chef series is back (and we’re hoping you’ve watched). This time, there’s a twist: 24 well-known, seasoned chefs go head-to-head and compete in challenges just like they’ve put the contestants from past seasons through, all to win money for their charity of choice.

Top Chef Masters is a bit different than the original show, though. Instead of sticking all 24 of the “masters” in an apartment and make them eat, sleep, booze, and live together, four of them at a time compete in an episode. I was thoroughly surprised when I saw this – they didn’t mention that in the previews, but I can understand why this was done. (Do you really think these chefs are going to give up the reins of their uber popular restaurants and two months of their lives just for a TV show? Though I would liked to have seen a Hosea-Leah hookup scenario between, say, Roy Yamaguchi and Cindy Pawlcyn.)
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The author furiously at work decorating cakes for class

 With the rise of all-things-cooking has come a slew of television shows, celebrity chefs, designer cookbooks, and yes, that one-time silly-frillyness formerly relegated to weddings and 3rd grade birthday parties: cake decorating. The cake decorating movement, in line with the new consciousness about cooking (see: slow food, organic food, food competitions, gourmet food, Top Chef, and more), is breaking boundaries and setting new artistic standards as the general public gets excited about everything food-related. Programs such as The Food Network’s Ace of Cakes highlight the possibilities (due in large parts to the liberal use of rolled icing, or fondant) that cake bakers, caterers, and decorators have these days. And possibilities are in abundance! The imagination is truly the only limiting factor as cakes take the shape of buildings, airplanes, dirt-bike racing courses, designer purses, and more. Read the rest of this entry »

Bravo announced today the line-up of its new Top Chef Masters show, which premieres June 10. The concept is simple: How would established chefs — some of them culinary celebrities of a sort — fare under the challenges of of the Top Chef-style competition?

There are some problems with the look of the new show, most glaring of which is the lack of gloriously scarred Padme Lakshmi and the beefy Tom Colicchio. Replacing Lakshmi as host is Kelly Choi, a former model and NY food show host. More interesting are the judges. Although the red-hat old lady Gael Green and Saveur editor james Oseland don’t hold much promise, Bravo has brought Guardian restaurant critic Jay Rayner over from across the pond. Can he out-wit the rather sheepish Toby Young?

The biggest problem with the show, however, may be the successful competitors. Do any of them have anything to gain from the show, other than the potential of a tad more celebrity pull?

Check out the list of contestants — and the cool celebrity judges scheduled — after the break: Read the rest of this entry »