Daily Loaf

The other night,  my friend Daniel, a delightfully cynical Irish fellow, asked me twenty questions about my vibrator: How long had I had one? Where did I keep it? What does it look like?

The longer this went, on the more curious I got. Why the sudden fascination? He had obviously seen one before. Most women don’t bother hiding them anywhere OTHER than the night stand or underwear drawer. His questions weren’t so much about vibrators, but how a woman would react to finding a similar toy, a fake vagina, in a male companion’s night stand. Read the rest of this entry »

At work, driving home, or alone at my computer–I need sex! I’m a 30 something swinger who must find creative ways to deal with her constant urges. I’ve heard stories of coworkers ducking away to the bathroom in pairs or having sex on their office desk after hours. Masturbating in the bathroom and sex at work aren’t something I’m into, but if that’s your thing, my only advice is don’t get caught. Read the rest of this entry »

During phone sex, most men are interested in their fantasies, what they want women like me to do to them. Over the phone I’ve done it all, from getting down on my knees and making them rock hard, to riding them so hard their balls need to be iced down. For me, these fantasies are old and boring, so I’m going to share one of my own. Read the rest of this entry »

We were on a visit to my great-aunt’s house. She was in the shower when we arrived, so her son, Ivy Leaguer, let us in. I was settled between my sister and cousin, reading a book when my aunt came into the living room to greet us. It had been over a year since my aunt had seen me. As I stood to greet her, my aunt clapped a hand to her chest and looked to my mother and grandmother.

“Lawd-a mercy! The girl’s got tits!” she shouted.

I was ten years old with B-cups. Molly Ringwald had nothing on how mortified I felt.

If you’re like me, at some point or another something similar happened to you. If you’re not like me and you have never had such a moment, I envy you. From the moment I woke up with A-cups in third grade up to today, my family and I have had moments that captured awkwardness in ways that John Huges wished he had come up with. At the risk of never being able to look anyone on the Creative Loafing staff in the eye again, I’m sharing a few stories in no order of embarrassment. Readers are more than welcome to rate the stories as they see fit. Bonus points allotted to those who share their own stories of horror. No, honest, I won’t mind. They were horrifying events when they happened, but I can laugh at most of them now.
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Nowdays, everyone is jumping on the ‘Green’ bandwagon, including the sex toy industry. More and more adult stores are offering eco-friendly relationship enhancement products” to help Mother Earth and offer non-harmful product alternatives(and probably boost sales by following the trend).

VibratorShopping.com, a reputable online retailer of adult products, now features an entire green line, and claim to be “one of the industry’s pioneers in the ‘Go Green!’ initiative.” Not only are they selling ‘eco-friendly’ vibrating and non-vibrating toys, they also offer a glass collection, natural lubricants, and 100% phthalate free (a harmful type of plastic) products. “Phthalates are currently being investigated for causing cancer, harming the reproductive system as well as harming the planet.” (Associated Content) Read the rest of this entry »

The season’s newest vibrators are available in Tampa Bay department stores.

New, motorized mascaras claim to vibrate at upwards of 7000 oscillations per minute to create hyper-extended, multiplied lash looks. And for $34 and a trip to a department store, your puny human hands can vibrate involuntarily too.

The season’s hottest vibrators

It would take more than a battery-powered shimmy to shake my hands out of 34 wild ones, so I took a trip to Estee Lauder and Lancome to try out their testers with motorized, disposable brushes. Estee Lauder’s TurboLash and Lancome’s Oscillation both taut battery-powered wands with the most noticeable difference being how the vibration is activated.

Lauder’s mascara hums as soon as the mascara wand is pulled from the product. The vibration halts when the wand is replaced. Lancome’s wand includes a button that you can push to activate the vibration, or you can simply use it without.

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