Eat My Charlotte

Last week I walked into the Starbucks on Trade Street in the Gateway to get a latté when I noticed a large photograph of a bowl of oatmeal dotted with berries suspended above the order counter. The description read: “Perfect Oatmeal.” The day was cold; the Perfect Oatmeal looked warm. I asked the Starbucks employee whether the oatmeal was homemade. “Yes, of course,” she replied. I ordered one.

I watched as she turned her back to the counter, got a small package, ripped off the top, poured the contents into a bowl, added water and stuck it into a microwave. A few minutes later, the homemade oatmeal rested in front of me on the counter. To this employee, homemade or made in-house meant adding water and heating in a microwave.

When a sports bar claims the tortilla chips are homemade, are they? Are they homemade if the chips are merely fried in the kitchen, but the tortillas were bought? If French fries are bought frozen, are they house-made if they are fried in-house?

Or what about this recent discourse at a grocery store’s fish counter:
“Is this fish fresh or has it been frozen?”
Clerk: “It was fresh when it was frozen.” Gee, really?

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Windows 7 hit stores yesterday, and with it came a whopper of a promotion. Considering how obese Americans are, thankfully, this promotion is in Japan only.

From PCWorld.com:

For the next seven days, Burger King will be a selling a gigantic seven-layer Whopper, which is apparently a gargantuan five-inches thick. The price? Y777, of course — at least for the first 30 customers each day. If you’re customer number 31, you’ll be paying Y1450. Given that a double Whopper is loaded with just shy of 1,000 calories, we’re guessing that this one’s a good few days worth of “nutrition.”

Eww. I can just imagine. Watch this video via CheapAssGamer.com:

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Cruzan hosted a “rum tasting” cruise on Lake Norman last night to promote their liquors. Having never attended a rum tasting, I expected something similar to a wine tasting – tables set with multiple glasses for tasting, some light food fare, an education in the production of rum to further guests’ rum knowledge… You know, a somewhat structured, elegant affair. Ha. What was I thinking?

This rum tasting wasn’t like that at all. What I did get was a two-story party boat complete with leather couches, ATM, Christmas lights, a live steel drum band, chips and dip, fried crab cakes and endless amounts of rum drinks. (I guess I should have had a hint of what was to come after the “shuttle” that was supposed to take us to the marina from Uptown ended up being the Ragin’ Uptown party bus.)

After a champagne/Cruzan rum mimosa toast, we were left on our own to party and mingle. The bar served only Cruzan rums and among the flavored ones were Coconut, Black Cherry, and Pineapple. Tired of rum and Cokes? Here are a few new drink recipes I learned last night from the bartenders:

If you want something fruity, but not-so-sweet, try mixing Cruzan Black Cherry rum with a little Sprite and seltzer water.

And for something crisp, try mixing Cruzan rum with ginger ale.

Though the tasting wasn’t exactly what I expected, it was definitely fun. Forget wine tastings, I’m all about some boating around and tasting rums now.

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A big thanks to Spencer Walker for taking dinner club duties off my hands this week!

Walker, L.A. native and the author of the blog CookToBang.com – Recipes to get you laid, is coming out with a Cook to Bang book in May 2010. As part of the book promotion, he is being filmed traveling around the nation invading people’s homes, apartments, and dorms, and throwing together gourmet meals from whatever he can scrounge up. This week he was in Charlotte.

Since it was my week to host the weekly dinner club with my gal pals, it was the perfect opportunity to shirk off my cooking responsibilities and let this kind sir cook for me and my guests. Walker, with camera man/brother Andrew in tow, stopped by my house last night and created a feast.

First we went through all my food …

Here are the contents of my fridge and pantry spewed all over the countertops:

The chef was quick in deciding what he was going to cook. He lumped ingredients together based on dish. (See the Golden Grahams with the marshmallows? That’s dessert.)

Walker got busy as we drank martinis and relaxed.  At one point we felt slightly guilty sitting around watching as he toiled in the kitchen, so we made sure he got a good pour of martini straight from the shaker down his throat. As the dishes came together, Walker brainstormed dirty names for his dishes.

What we ate last night:

- Cambodian Love Rolls (Rice paper rolls filled with stir-fried minced chicken flavored with fish sauce, hoisin and soy sauce, tossed with coconut and walnuts)

- White Trash Buffalo Chicken Dip (This one needs a better name. Ranch dressing, blue cheese dressing, cheese, buffalo wing sauce, cream cheese, shredded chicken)

- Pork Your Pasta (Black truffle pasta served with a spicy tomato-based sauce with chopped up rosemary pork)

- Ram That Graham (Golden Grahams baked together with marshmallows and caramel, covered with white and semi-sweet chocolate, toffee bits, and whatever else we could find on my baking shelf)

Everything was delicious and we were all amazed at what he was able to come up with. My favorite line from the night: “Ok, ladies. Have a seat because I’m going to serve you.” Music to my ears.

A man in the kitchen cooking up a four-course meal … I could get used to this! Walker did say that in his experience, women do tend to respond favorably to a home-cooked meal by a man…

Check out more pics on the jump.

(more…)

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… if there were more restaurants like these.

Van Gogh is Bipolar is a cafe … yes, a place you eat food at … in the Philippines. Aside from its unusual name, its appeal is that it offers food that is supposed to improve your mood.

From Springwise.com:

The cafe only serves all-natural ‘happy-hormone-producing’ foods, set to lift customers’ moods. Its menu is loaded with foods that are believed to help balance the brain’s levels of serotonin and dopamine, which in turn helps alleviate mild to moderate depression.

Don’t believe ‘em? Here’s a link to their menu, complete with descriptions of how the ingredients are supposed to relieve anxiety, release dopamine or beat depression.

Doesn’t that look good? Eat yourself happy the next time you’re visiting the Philippines!

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Cook to Bang, a cooking blog illustrated with step-by-step photos of humorously named recipes that will keep you busy in the kitchen and in bed, is soon to be a book. To give you a flavor of what’s to come in the book, just check out the names of some of the recent recipes on the blog: Coconut Cod-Piece, Raw and Raunchy Oysters, Don’t be Coy, Bok Choy and Ants on My Log.

Tomorrow Spencer Walker, author of CooktoBang.com blog and book, will be coming to MY KITCHEN. The chef of “recipes to get you laid” will be stopping by to film a promotional cooking video for his new book.

His mission (and challenge): To concoct a feast from whatever he can scrounge up from my fridge and pantry.

Er, good luck with that. I’ve got half-blocks of cheese, lemon curd, Hoisin sauce, cranberry juice, pasta, yogurt, frozen chicken breasts, ramen, chocolates and cereal. Sounds to me like it’s gonna be quite the challenge.

I’m inviting a few ladies over to taste test the feast tomorrow. Let’s see if they end up in the bedroom for dessert…

Check back on Wednesday for pics!

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Hmm. Not sure how I feel about this.

A group of inmates from Florida’s Hillsborough County Jail are making and marketing their own hot sauce. JailHouseFire hot sauce comes in three varieties—Original, Smoke and No Escape—all made from peppers grown right there onsite.

Currently available only online, all proceeds support inmate programs.

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The State Fair of Texas has a new item on their menu. Take a gander at these little beauties of artery-clogging goodness.

Fair officials gave the dish top honors in the Most Creative category in the Big Tex Choice Awards.

Can you guess what these are? Here’s a not-so-helpful tip: The item comes comes in four flavors: original, garlic, cherry and grape… and will probably give you diarrhea. Scroll down to see the answer…

Photo courtesy of State Fair of Texas

They are balls of Deep-Fried Butter.

Check out the other deep-fried food finalists of the 2009 Big Tex Choice Awards here. Can you say YUM?

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Eat rabbit-shaped foods and cuddle with bunnies at this bunny cafe in Japan! Or if you would like, you can BYOB (Bring Your Own Bunny). Customers can pay per minute to play with the restaurant’s pet rabbits (for cuddling purposes only –not for eating). Apparently this place is a hit in Japan. Anyone want to open a franchise in Charlotte?

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Enso Asian Bistro & Sushi Bar has opened at the EpiCentre uptown. The posh restaurant, located across from CVS on the lower level, threw their V.I.P. grand opening party Wednesday night. Guests were treated with a red carpet entrance, a looooong sushi bar, an open bar that included high-end liquors, small plates of appetizers, and a bottle of pear sake as a take-home gift.

The restaurant’s decor features luxe red and gold colors. Upon entering the restaurant, you will find dark wood floors, stone walls, red crocodile print stools, velvety lounge chairs, high-backed red upholstered dining chairs, and red bars flecked with metallic pieces. Glass lotus flower votives illuminate the bar area with a rosy glow.

The sushi was exceptional and served with pickled ginger arranged into rose buds and wasabi molded into little leaves placed on radish slices. Among the small plates that were passed around were dumplings which Enso calls “dim sum,” Kobe beef with fried rice, impressively large rock shrimp, lamb shanks, sea bass, and more. All were beautifully presented and served by attentive wait staff (many of which were Asian!).

Watch out Nikko … there is a new hip sushi restaurant in town. I anticipate Enso to become the new chic place to see and be seen on the weekends prior to a night of schmoozing uptown. Check out these pics:

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