Eat My Florida

As of Wednesday, Aug. 20, Eat My Florida will be folded into our new blog, The Daily Loaf.

They’re sex on the half-shell. The classic aphrodisiac. Just the thought of those glistening gobs of mollusk muscle sliding down your throat is enough to send a shudder through Pfizer. But can oysters be too sexy?

Well, sure. Just like with humans, an oyster’s unhealthy fixation on its own naughty bits are sure to bring chafing, hairy palms and STDs. “Oh, that’s just a cold sore!” Sure, you pretty little huitre plate, you keep telling yourself that.

According to Reuters, oyster herpes actually kills the little guys — to the tune of 40-100% in most French cultivating beds this year — instead of merely making them social outcasts whose only goal is to spread the disease through lies and casual sex. Apparently, the cause is simple – when the weather is warm and there’s plenty of food, oysters spend all their available energy pumping up their sexual organs at the expense of their immune systems. Hard to blame ‘em.

Brilliant reporting Reuters, by the way. No mention at all whether infected oysters can transfer their seaborne herpes to people who down them with a nice Sancerre and capable mignonette. Nobody’d be interested in that, I imagine.

Recently, Todd English (celeb chef and owner of about 1 metric bazillion restaurants) called Peruvian cuisine “the next big thing.” Bon Appetit’s new food blog quickly weighed in, declaring it a trend that needs an ambassador, and pointing to Peruvian celeb chef Gaston Acurio as — possibly — the face that could launch a thousand tiraditos.

I hate to say I told you so, but Sarasota chef Darwin Santa Maria of oft-lauded Selva Grill made the same prediction about Peruvian food almost a year ago. Sarasota is home to no less than four decent Peruvian joints. Only question is: what about the Bay area? Know any great places to grab some ceviche, causa and sauces laced with glorious aji pepper?

(Thanks to Grub Street.)

You shelled out a car payment for those high-end pots and pans I talk about in today’s Essential Kitchen Gear, so you better take steps to protect your investment. Although you might be tempted to grab the steel wool or belt sander the next time you have to remove a layer of solidified bacon grease or burned sugar from that formerly gleaming stainless steel, just put the power tools down. It doesn’t have to be that way.

For stainless steel cookware, typical dish soap and water will take care of daily use – and you can even throw most brands in the dishwasher — but you’ll want to have an abrasive cleanser on hand. Don’t scrub with anything metal and stay away from harsh powders and liquids like Comet or Soft Scrub; those will clean well enough but could scratch the surface of your beautiful pans. Read the rest of this entry »

Apparently, the culinary world does not stop when your CL Food Editor steps out for a little staycation. Here’s your guide to the wide world of food for the past 10 days.

• Soy “milk”? It’s an aberration and,”as one British government report put it, manufacturing soy milk is closer to making fruit juice than cow’s milk.” (Slate)
• The Baconator causes worldwide hunger? “Potentially, and this is up for debate, a benefit of higher prices is lower consumption, and, in this country, that actually would not be a bad thing overall.” (Reuters)
• Bodyguard dining etiquette: “Your bodyguard (unlike your hairdresser, stylist and personal assistant) is not your friend.”(WMag)
• Food Network leaks results of own reality show: “In case you’ve already paid the caterer for your Lisa-Adam-Aaron watching party or you are really into the show, I am not going to tell you who wins, but I am truly astounded by the fact that they have posted the “Exit Interviews” for the two “losers” and the “Winning Moment” clip for the winner 3 days before the show airs.” (SideDish)
• Might be tastier than her human food, snap! “With Isaboo Bacon Flavor Booscotti, you too, can indulge your favorite pooch with the mouth-watering bacon dogs love. And if it’s peanut butter they’re begging for, then Isaboo Peanut Butter Booscotti will give them loads of lip-smacking flavor.” (RachaelRay)
• David Lynch sells good coffee: “as black as midnight on a moonless night”…and hot! (SeriousEats)
• Excuse me sir, but would you…”here’s your Grey Poupon, roll your f***ing windows up!” (SmokingGun)
• “We can’t just stay at home all day making Manwiches with the mailman and the stay-at-home dad across the street.” (Chow)

Thanks to Eater, GrubStreet, Grinder, SeriousEats.

Now that the 3G iPhone is up and running (sort of), you can make use of it’s brand new, true GPS system to do more than just get directions and illegally track people. Why not use it to find some food?

Urbanspoon, a two year old Seattle company, has launched a free iPhone app that uses the GPS (or the triangulation system on old phones) to search for restaurants that are, theoretically, in your general vicinity. Usually this type of software is only geared towards the bigger metro areas with established dining scenes — which would likely mean that our own Bay area is out of luck — but Urbanspoon recently added Tampa/St. Pete to it’s list. Awfully nice of ‘ya.

No iPhone? Well, you can still log on the old fashioned way and do an actual web search on Urbanspoon’s site, as well as read local reviews culled from the rags (ours included) and customer reviews riddled with shills. Web-browsing … clunky, but it still works.

It’s hard not to love the New Yorker’s Shouts & Murmurs — erudite humor that speaks to the, well, you know, the more-than-common man.

This week features a culinary guide to passive aggressive appetizers perfect for any gathering. Best snippet: “Have you ever noticed how sun-dried tomatoes and top-grade peyote look exactly the same? Not a suggestion, really. Just saying.”

Read over on Serious Eats that Starbucks will introduce a new line of “Vivannos” starting tomorrow. Don’t know what a Vivanno is? Time to add a word to your Starbucks lexicon of pseudo-Mediterranean new-speak: Vivanno = smoothie.

After years of not trying, those Seattle-ish coffee merchants are really scrambling, aren’t they? Heck, I’m all for it. Anything beats that left-in-the-oven-for-days flavor of the corporate giant’s burnt coffee.

Rocky Aoki, the man who brought Japanese culinary showmanship to America with Benihana, died last week. According to the AP story, Aoki was surrounded by his wife and six children during his final moments, which must have been awkward considering he sued four of those kids — two from each of his first two wives — after they tried to take over his restaurant chain. Apparently, they don’t like his current wife.

Forget the gossip and dirt, though, and let’s remember the man for his accomplishments: teppan-yaki, stateside. Aoki opened his first Benihana in New York in 1964, starting an empire that’s blossomed into more than 100 restaurants and thousands of imitators. Every time a chop-socky chef flips shrimp tails into his hat, builds a smoking onion volcano, or tells a tired karate kid joke before serving you griddled steak and barely cooked veggies doused in soy, you have Aoki to thank.

Beyond Benihana, Aoki was a cool cat who wrestled on the Japanese Olympic team; raced cars, boats and motorcycles; was the first man to cross the Pacific in a hot air balloon; founded classic eighties porno mag Genesis; won backgammon championships; participated in a Cannonball Run-like cross country race in a stretch Volkswagon Beetle limousine; and once had a horrific boating accident that required 10 hours of surgery and multiple removed organs. When he came to three days later, he saw his wife and his mistress waiting for him bedside. Damn, player!

That’s a life well lived, worth a raised Mai Tai or two at whatever teppan-yaki joint you favor.

Well, alright, maybe it’s not our bandwagon, but it’s nice to see the efforts of Our Man In Sarasota reflected in the august pages of the Huff.

From our man in Sarasota, Justin Richards:

Before some friends and I tried flavor tripping for the first time, I’ll admit I had some unrealistic expectations. I thought the newly popularized miracle fruit would make my palate go temporarily insane; olives would taste like licorice, rice would taste like pudding, soap would taste like marmalade. We’d be licking the ambrosial sweat from each other’s armpits!

This past weekend, a friend from Ft. Lauderdale bought berries (at $3 each) from a local horticulturist, and seven of us prepared a smorgasbord. We each chewed a berry, swished it around in our mouths for a minute, then began to taste.

First, we did lemons and limes. Some said they tasted like tangerines, but there was more to the flavor than that: essence-of-lime without the sourness. We sliced them up and squeezed them one after another into our mouths.

“It has buttery notes!” said the person next to me.

Heineken became very drinkable on the miracle fruit. Some of the tasters thought it evoked cream soda. One friend suggested writing a letter to the brewer: “Dear Heineken, we had to pay $3 to enjoy your beer.”

Ranch dressing tasted like custard.

Bordeaux tasted like Riesling.

Goat cheese tasted like cream cheese.

Dubliner cheese tasted like a milder cheese.

Tequila tasted like tequila. (Tequila will not be moved.)

As you can see, the flavor conversions weren’t as wild as I’d thought they’d be. Read the rest of this entry »

Have you ever seen Food Party? Uhm, just watch…

For more, head here.

Fireworks? Barbecue? Boston Pops? A celebration of independence? Bah!

As far as I’m concerned, the Fourth of July begins and ends on Coney Island, at the Nathan’s Famous World Hot Dog Eating Contest. For 93 years, people have been lining up to see this freakish intersection of speed and gluttony, fascinated and appalled by the enormous capacity of today’s competitive eaters. Last year, professional gurgitator Joey Chestnut performed a feat reminiscent of the Miracle On Ice, defeating six-time world champ and seemingly unstoppable force Takeru Kobayashi. Not only did Chestnut soundly beat the diminutive Japanese competitor, he set a new world record by eating 66 dogs and buns in just 12 minutes, 11 more than the previous top score.

Don’t think you can just show up and join the fun; these days you have to win a qualifying contest to enter the Nathan’s Championship. Go to the International Federation of Competitive Eating to check out other upcoming events, and get tips on how the pros do their grotesque thing.

St. Pete’s own Dairy Inn will also hold their, much more relaxed competition on July 4th, starting at 11:30 a.m. Stop by the restaurant to pick up an entry form, along with a great burger and a shake.

You can also read my piece on competitive eating to get a little more background, as well as a glimpse into my own mercifully brief foray into the stomach-stretching arts.

Scared to send your child out of the house for hours at a time to run off their summer vacation energy? Now you’ve got something else to fear.

According to a NYT article, kindergarten and 1st grade kids put on body mass two to three times faster during the summer, compared to the school year. Some of that has to do with the lack of scheduled eating and activity enforced by schools, some has to do with sitting around watching TV and playing video games. Sadly, kids who need to gain weight also did better during the school year, putting on more mass, likely thanks to the almost-guaranteed offer of two-to-three squares a day from the government.

School cafeteria food may not be ideal, but Sarasota has the right attitude to help kids with nutrition. Pinellas and Hillsborough are a little behind the curve.

The Florida Sun-Sentinel has a truly awe-inspiring series of retro cereal box photos posted on their website. Sure, there’s Quisp and and Mr. T cereal, but there are also many I’ve never heard of. Cap’n Crunch’s Punch Crunch. Grins & Smiles & Giggles & Laughs. And, perhaps my very favorite, Crunchy Loggs.

Makes me want to go out and buy whatever movie tie-in cereal is currently available. Maybe Indy’s Crunchy Skulls, or Get Smart Shoe Puffs, or Love Guru Fruity Genitalia. Mmm, artificially-flavored corn-puff penises.

If that’s not enough, here’s another good resource for retro cereal packaging, and another, and this one that’s a tad too high concept to be useful, but interesting nonetheless.

Sort of. Greenpeace recently released a study that ranks supermarket chains by their commitment to sustainable seafood. Since GP essentially advocates taking a break from any type of fishing — not a bad idea, considering the apocalyptic scenarios outlined here — they are understandably a bit harsh in their ranking system. In our area, Whole Foods ranks highest, with a whopping 4 out of 10 points. Wal-Mart, Sam’s Club and Target manage to eke out a 3, while all the typical supermarkets — Publix, Sweetbay and Winn-Dixie — fill the bottom of the list.

In other news, food personality Alton Brown announced he’ll be shifting the focus of Good Eats. “”I’ve been busy being clever, but now I want to use what credibility I may have to help people think about sustainability,” he told grist.com in an interview. He even offered to ride along with Greenpeace, saying “somebody needs to sink the Japanese tuna fleet. Everyone’s willing to point the finger, but nobody’s willing to pull the trigger.”

Damn, concerns for sustainability on the Food Network? Maybe they should have a talk with Paula.

Hogs are running wild in 37 states. Florida is one of them, with the second largest population of wild porkers in the country. Why worry about a few feral pigs? They eat just about anything and can clear the ground of native plant and animal species at an alarming rate, wrecking the ecosystems of acres of protected land in a very short time. More development just means a higher density of hogs on undeveloped land. And they’re mean som’ bitches.

Check out these stats that show how Sarasota deals with its porcine problem. Yep, 2 trappers bag over 1,000 hogs every year, just in the SRQ. That might be a drop in the bucket of Florida’s pork population, but it sure is some tasty huntin’.

Chipotle – the fast-food burrito joint owned by McDonald’s — has been trying to push more local foods through its restaurants for the past few years. Part of it is marketing, like their high-profile agreement with Joel Salatin of Polyface Farms (immortalized in Michael Pollan’s Omnivore’s Dilemma) to provide all the pork at Chipotle’s Charlottesville, VA locations.

Now, the restaurant chain is expanding their commitment, vowing to source at least 25% of at least one produce item from small and medium local farms at every one of Chipotle’s over 700 locations, at least when the veggies are in season. One item seems like a drop in the bucket, but with the massive volume fast food places go through it could mean big bucks for local farms.

From our wine maven Taylor Eason comes inexpensive wines with our inexpensive menus (bolded wines will work for the whole menu, if you don’t want to go with course-by-course wines):

David Miller, Savant Fine Dining:
Sweet Potato Soup: Big Fire 2006 Pinot Gris, $15
Heirloom Tomato Salad: Columbia Crest 2007 Two Vines Rose, $10
Braised Lamb in Peach Gastrique with Sweet Potato Scallops and Baby Eggplant: Jaboulet 2005 “Parallele 45” Cotes du Rhone, $15

Fabrizio Schenardi, Pelagia Trattoria:
Polenta with Sauteed Mushrooms: St. Francis 2004 Red, $12
Open-Faced Ravioli: Masi 2006 Masianco Venezie, $15
Seared Salmon with Green Beans: Beringer 2006 Pinot Noir, $20
Fruit Crepes: Banfi 2007 Rosa Regale, $18

Seble Gizaw, Queen of Sheba:
Mashed Potato Salad: Bonny Doon 2005 Le Cigare Blanc California, $20
Lentil Soup: 7 Deadly Zins 2004 Zinfandel, $13
Lamb Tibs: Onix 2006 Priorat, $12

Grass Root Tofu Scramble: Sokol Blosser Evolution #9 11^th Edition

Elements, vegetarian menu:
Mushroom Medley: whatever red wine you use in the recipe OR Campo Viejo 2004 Rioja Crianza, $12
Ravioli: S.A. Prum 2006 Riesling, $12

Thanks to reader Erica comes news of this local “natural” wonder from Tate Brothers Pizza on Davis Island. No word yet if it will be included in alongside modern monuments like the Eiffel Tower or the Golden Gate Bridge, but we’ll see. Better yet, you can own it for approximately pocket change.

Best part of the description -

“This continent is flavored with a mild wing sauce and has been frozen in carbonite to protect its value.”

Second best part -

“We DO NOT Reccomend eating this. It’s for display purposes only.”

Yeah, I don’t recommend eating these things even when they aren’t shaped like Africa and shipped cross-country.