Eat My Florida

I don’t actually know what the news is, but it’s big! OSI — the Outback folks — are trying to drum up interest in a Lee Roy Selmon’s press conference this afternoon. Lee Roy will be there, as will OSI CEO and all-around big-shot Bill Allen. But really, what kind of big news would necessitate an honest-to-goodness White House-style press conference?

Here are some headlines you might be seeing tomorrow morning:

1. LEE ROY SELMON’S UNVEILS NEW USF BULLS BANDWAGON BURGER! (For a limited time only.)
2. MAMA SELMON UNVEILS NEW RECIPE: — The deep fried onion is a classic Southern staple enjoyed by Lee Roy in his youth, and served with a spicy dipping sauce.
3. LEE ROY SELMON APPOINTED VICE-CHAIRMAN OF TAMPA BAY AREA REGIONAL TRAFFIC AUTHORITY –Chairman Shelton Quarles: “The best offense is a good defense.”
4. FREE RIBS DISTRIBUTED AT TOLL BOOTHS FOR ALL CROSSTOWN EXPRESSWAY SUNPASS USERS — Bill Allen: “We just want to maximize the cross-genre marketing potential of Lee Roy’s name.”
5. UNRESTRICTED FREE-AGENT LEE ROY SELMON’S TRADED TO PIZZA HUT – Bill Allen: “No one wants to see him go, but we couldn’t come to terms on a new contract.”

I guess we’ll see soon enough.

UPDATE:  Turns out that the press conference was just about Selmon and Selmon’s president — Peter Barli — buying the chain back from OSI. Big whoopty-do.

Bookmark to:

Posted in Gossip, Media, Restaurants | Leave a comment