Eat My Florida

This flew under the radar last week, but Dave at Eating Tampa snagged it.

The James Beard Foundation sent out ballots for its annual chef and restaurant awards to the judging committee, and New York Magazine leaked the list. Here’s the shocker: Tampa has a couple of names on the list. And they’re related. Guess who?

Jeannie Pierola is up for Best Chef in the South Region, with a lot of stiff competition from the Miami area and someone, egads!, from Punta Gorda. Bern’s is up for the national Outstanding Restaurant award, a category filled with restaurants just as staid and tired as our local favorite. I wonder if Jeannie’s departure from the old brothel will help or hurt either of their chances? It’s probably bad news for Bern’s, and good news for Jeannie.

Let’s place bets: I’ll give Bern’s 2000 to 1 against and Jeannie 70 to 1 against victory.
Here are my predictions: Michael Schwartz of Michael’s Genuine takes the South chef award and Magnolia Grill in NC takes Outstanding Restaurant. New Yorkers love that Southern food.

Winners will be announced in June.

I’ve been pounding on this muscle-bound mook ever since he announced the name of his “future” restaurant in St. Petersburg. Something about his unrelenting tight-assed demeanor, pseudo-military appearance, pointy head, bad teeth and, well, let’s face it, the fact that he works for the Food Network really rubs me the wrong way. Or it might be the name of the restaurants. Ooze and Schmooze? For fuck’s sake.

I blasted the name (here and here), I questioned whether the restaurant would ever be built, I did everything but launch a full-fledged investigation into Robert Irvine’s character as a businessman. That’s why we have the St. Pete Times.

According to an article in the Times on Sunday, Irvine owes a bunch of people money, lied or exaggerated repeatedly in person, on his Food Network resume and in his book Mission: Cook!, and is sort of little and sad when cornered. And he impersonated a knight, which means the queen will be sending some beefeaters after Irvine’s hide when she gets around to it.

Maybe I should feel bad for him, but why waste the glorious schadenfreude! And with Ooze and Schmooze still in the works, we might have Robert Irvine to kick around for months or years to come.

In the past two years, Fly has shown that not only can restaurants succeed in downtown Tampa, they can thrive. The lively restaurant and bar has made a name by drawing crowds in for the bar scene, rooftop deck, late hours and upscale small plate dining. Now, owners Leslie Shirah and Matthew Sturm want to up the ante.

They’ve imported a chef from Brick – one of their three San Francisco restaurants – to update the menu and elevate the food. Rene Caceres is a graduate of the New England Culinary Institute and has worked at several restaurants in California. “He had to leave a city known for food, with a very supportive environment for restaurants,â€Â� says Fly GM David Bromberg. “But out there, he wasn’t the executive chef.â€Â�

In the month that Caceres has been in charge of Fly’s kitchen, he’s already exerted a hefty influence on the menu, steering it towards the seasonal California cuisine he’s familiar with, along with a dash of French influence. Wild salmon comes poached, with dill infused pomme puree, while pork loin is accented by kumquat confit.

Caceres hasn’t shed all of the other Bay area’s influence. He still doesn’t own a car and he lives in downtown, right next to the restaurant.

New Year’s Eve will be Caceres’ coming out party, with a seven course tasting menu entirely devised by the new executive chef.

Yesterday’s San Francisco Chronicle had a fantastic story about the economics of paying restaurant personnel. That Bay area’s independent restaurateurs have it really tough, with server wages tagged to the city’s minimum of $9.14/hour and extensive benefits mandated by the city. Good for servers, but not so good for cooks, according to the article. Line jockeys end up with very low pay in one of the most expensive cities in the US.

Part of the problem has to do with the expectations of culinary school graduates, which I wrote about a few months ago. Even without massive school loans, though, making it in the shadow of the Golden Gate on $15 an hour is almost impossible. Around these parts, the pay is about the same, but benefits are meager at best. Working in a kitchen is a tough life all over.

Chef Jeanie Pierola left Bern’s this past weekend after ongoing disagreements with Bern’s scion David Laxer came to a head. All I can say is that it looks like good news for the rest of us. C’mon, who out there wasn’t getting a little tired of the relentlessly eclectic menu and overweening bar crowd at SideBerns?

Now, likely, we’ll get a brand new place with the accomplished Pierola behind the menu. And it’s not likely the ever-static Bern’s itself will change for the worse now that she’s gone.

Don’t really know what that title means, but I have news about celebrity chef and all-around scary fella Robert Irvine’s poorly named restaurant in St. Petersburg. Ooze and Schmooze was originally scheduled to open this month at 400 Beach Dr., but that’s not going to happen. According to the building’s developers, the earliest they expect the restaurant to be ready is March, due to the complexity of the construction and permitting.

Perhaps Ooze and Schmooze should be the next episode of Dinner Impossible.

I will now go into hiding to avoid a beat-down from the burly chef.

Local Coffee & Tea – the Sarasota-based minichain of coffee houses – has joined forces with Susan Huff of Integrity Organic. For a while, Local owner Mike Duranko had avowed to CL that he wasn’t going to get in the food business at the St. Pete location. Well, he isn’t. Susan is, using his kitchen. She’ll be managing 330 1st Ave. S location and preparing the home-made, largely organic fare that she’s become known for.

Both Duranko and Huff share eco-sensibilities, so her food combined with the best coffee in the Bay area should be a good match.

I talked to Chef/Owner Darwin Santa Maria of downtown Sarasota’s Selva Grill this weekend to get the skinny on his new endeavor.

Santa Maria will be taking over the former home of California Bistro Grill on Ringling and replacing the bland sandwiches and soups with casual Peruvian fare like rotisserie meats and, well, different sandwiches. “It’ll be fast food, but high quality,” he said. There will be scooter delivery, a “spicy bar” and more downscale versions of the upscale modern Peruvian-inspired cuisine Santa Maria has made popular at Selva.

“I think Peruvian is going to be the next Mexican,” Santa Maria told me, when I asked him why he thought there was a seemingly disproportionate number of Peruvian joints in town. “There are actually a lot of Peruvian restaurants everywhere.”

Just had a scouting report on Rand Packer’s Mariposa from our own wine maven Taylor Eason (as well as this blurb from the Times). She’s not too impressed:

“Didn’t eat there since it really looks like an upscale Tijuana Flats (and we wanted sit down, upscale service that night)… You order at the counter and they bring it to you. He spent a fortune on décor but uses plastic trays, forks, etc. Kinda shocking actually… But maybe it reflects what he wants at this stage in his career…”

I guess you can’t blame a guy for wanting to take a more casual route. She could at least have tried one of his popsicles.

Let’s recap the events leading up to the exciting conclusion of America’s Next Food Network Hack next Sunday! Who will be tapped to “host whatever Sunday morning ghetto slot they have in store for the winner”(Bourdain’s gone soft on the show over at Ruhlman)?

I haven’t updated you on the status of this titannic competition since the beginning because, well, nothing’s really happened. People stammered and stuttered on camera, mediocre food was made to look edible and people were dropped. No big whoop.

Let me help out the judges. If you were still, this late in the game, looking for that indefinable “star quality” out of the final contestants, you may as well give it up. All this show has proved is that almost any schmo with a little training and minimal stage presence can host a show on the Food Network. Is that the message you want to portray, Tuschman and friends? Mission accomplished.

This week, though, things have changed — there’s some drama! The judges slotted JAG into the final two, then managed to pick busty Rory over the milder, but vastly more competent Amy. But wait! Don’t vote yet!

It turns out that JAG likes to pad his resume. Maybe it was a typo – “I meant to say that I had never been to Iraq and I did not graduate from cooking school.” In a tearful confrontation, he comes clean with the judges, who pat him on his back and send him on his way with no hard feelings. Sad, ’cause he was the best cook of the bunch.

That does bring Amy back into the fold, which makes me happy. Her “gourmet next door” or whatever she names her “style” is always just an excuse to bring some serious French cooking into the kitchen. Me likee.

The final battle is up to you. Do you want Busty Horseteeth? Or Frenchy McNoLips? Go vote already.

Rand Packer — formerly of our local Roy’s and Taylor Eason’s pick for hottest Bay area chef — will be opening his own Mariposa Mexican Grill on July 1, wayyyyy up N Dale Mabry. I haven’t seen the menu yet, but the chef promises “Pacific fresh Mexican”, with homemade fresh tortillas, fresh fruit featured in popsicles and juice blends, and a whole lot Mexi-cuisine loaded with fresh herbs and dried chiles. Did I say fresh?

Mariposa Mexican Grill – 17623 N Dale Mabry Hwy., 813-264-1212

I haven’t really commented yet on Top Chef, mainly because I wanted to give it a little time. In the past, it has run second place in my summer reality show hit list, behind Hell’s Kitchen. Needless to say, considering the neanderthals Fox has recruited for the past two season’s of HK, Top Chef has easily managed to take center stage. Here’s a few reasons why:

1. Pretty much all of the Top Chef contestants can cook, some of them extremely well. That has become surprisingly rare in TV food shows.
2. The weekly competitions have morphed from the goofy scenarios of season 1 into interesting culinary challenges, where the framework is just a reason for some fine genre cooking.
3. The judges are a heck of a lot better. Colicchio and Simmons are almost likable.
4. Padme Lakshmi.

Reality show…faked? Wha-huh!?! Say it ain’t so, Gordie!

For about a year, Sarasota was blessed by a brief affair with Ethiopian home-cooking, thanks to Betel Tafesse’s short lived Fly bar and restaurant, which she lost to a divorce last year.

Well, now she’s back (at least once a week) piling killer veggies and spiced meats on tart injera bread every Thursday night at Metro in downtown SRQ. Maybe this will start a trend — chef as DJ, with restaurants featuring a varied menu of culinary stylings every night of the week. Sweet.

Press release after the jump. (more…)

Why do I love Hell’s Kitchen? Easy. The only way to win the contest is to successfully perform on the line in a working restaurant kitchen. Sure, there’s lots of reality show rigamarole and goofiness, especially since the show is on Fox, but fundamentally, you just have to cook.

My fears for this season of Hell’s Kitchen? Last year, none of the contestants were worth a damn in the kitchen. Unlike the first season, there wasn’t a single person who deserved to win. (Although what they actually will win is up for debate – thanks, Leilani). Let’s hope the talent level is higher this year.

30 minutes in: The giant Asian cowboy (Aaron) has cried, the women can’t work together, and the editors have already laid the foundation for a pretend flirtation between the sex bomb (Melissa) and Ramsay, blonde (Bonnie) almost cries.

45 minutes in: The women are unable to recognize that a short order (Julia) cook might be the person to call on to help with fried eggs, Julia proceeds to cry – then cooks some damn fine eggs, Aaron breaks down and walks out – Ramsay consoles, men run out of everything, Bonnie almost cries again.

1 hour in: Ramsay closes the kitchen, Melissa wins (deservedly) and has to choose two people from her team for possible elimination, Joanna and Tiffany lobby for Julia’s early demise (both of them should be the ones going – Julia cooked some damn eggs, bitches!), Melissa cries (because of tough choices, not Ramsay), Melissa picks Joanna and Tiffany, bye bye Tiffany.

It was the correct choice. Anyone who can’t fry up a few quail eggs shouldn’t be there. Even better, she threw Julia under the bus just because “she works at the freaking waffle shop!”

Now, the Eat My Florida official odds of who will make it to the final two:

• Aaron – 1 bazillion to 1
• Brad – 2 to 1
• Eddie – 10 to 1
• Josh – 8 to 1
• Rock – 5 to 1
• Vinnie – 15 to 1
• Bonnie – 12 to 1
• Jen – 15 to 1
• Joanna – 20 to 1
• Julia – 10 to 1
• Melissa – 2 to 1

Melissa and Brad for the win. We’ll see.

Last night saw the return of the food-related reality TV season with the Food Network’s Next Food Star Challenge.

The opener was less dreary than expected, with a surprisingly challenging wedding catering shindig to anchor the episode. Considering how superficial the entire Food TV experience is, here are my thoughts about the contestants, along with official Eat My Florida Odds on who makes the final 3 -

• Rory – Did she buy those top teeth for Halloween? Giant and glowing with an inner light, those teeth could have a show all by themselves. (Psst, get your own agent, teeth. Screw Rory!) Perhaps they’ll take over for Sandra Lee… (100 to1)
• JAG – Your no-nonsense Marine sensibilities will get you far in life. Sadly, that, combined with the fact that you can cook, probably will disqualify you from a Food TV show. (2-1)
• Tom – Tell me you wouldn’t have served the polenta anyway, if the cameras hadn’t been on you. Fuggedaboutit. (10-1)
• Paul – What’s with the Survivor-esque way you let the other team hang themselves (see polenta above)? That’s not how the Food Network wants to appear. Maybe they’ll offer you a job in programming. (8-1)
• Nikki – Two words: pink suit? What was up with that monstrosity? And the clown boots? Going for the sympathy vote? (50-1)
• Colombe – Cute and soft spoken, but can’t add at grocery store. She fits right in. (8-1)
• Michael – Tell me you wouldn’t have told Tom to serve the polenta anyway, if the cameras hadn’t been rolling. That’s what 90% of the chefs out there would have done, so I don’t blame you. (10-1)
• Adrien – Were you in the episode? Who is this guy? (20-1)
• Amy – Je m’appelle Amy. Je t’aime Paris! Good leader, though. (2-1)

Be sure to tune in for the vastly superior Hell’s Kitchen, starting tonight on Fox. Je m’appelle Brian. Je t’aime Gordon Ramsay.

Gordon Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares series on BBC has been co-opted by Fox, which will be airing a US version to start Fall of this year.

If it remains even vaguely true to the BBC version, this will be a wildly entertaining show for anyone interested in restaurant life, without the contest aspect of so many train-wreck reality shows.

It’s scheduled for 9pm on Thursdays, which sucks. Opposite all those major network big-hitters Nightmares will probably find little traction and quick-trigger Fox will undoubtedly pull the plug halfway through the season. We should start a letter-writing campaign now.

Mark your calendars, folks, and save up some money to gas up your cars. June 1 marks the start of the Second Annual Savor Sarasota Restaurant Week (actually, it runs for 10 days, but a “week” sounded better). A few months back, I talked about the great dining available south of the Skyway, so here’s your chance.

All of the participating restaurants will be serving multicourse lunches and dinners for a mere $15 and $25, respectively. My favorites? Derek’s, Bijou, Canvas Cafe, Vernona and Selva Grill, but almost all of the places on the list are worth a visit at these prices.

Don’t want to make the trip? How about a provocative statement to rile up the Tampa scene and drag you down south? When it comes to innovative and exciting fine dining, Sarasota has a better core group of chefs than the Bay Area.

Ooohh, snap!

Want to be a chef? Think twice about culinary school.

Locally, you’ll end up paying $47,152 for a 21 month (full-time) Associates Degree at The Art Institute Of Tampa, or over $40,000 for 28 months at Keiser in Sarasota. For some people the experience is undoubtedly worth it.

The dreary truth is that I’ve heard variations of that title quote from many culinary academy grads. And I’ve heard from many restaurant folk that there can be a backlash to pushing school experience, even from chefs who actually attended culinary school, a perception that students come out of programs with an “attitude”. Most chefs prefer proven, work-a-day kitchen experience. In the trenches, yo.

Two years and a lot of money? Or two years slogging through the lowest levels of a restaurant kitchen? Neither sounds pretty, unless it’s for a dream.

Sadly, local favorite Chef Joshua Dawson — who won the Art Institute of Tampa’s Best Teen Chef of 2007 — wasn’t able to take home the prize at the national competition. Keep up the good work Josh, and maybe I’ll be by to review your own place in a few years.