Eat My Florida

Read over on Serious Eats that Starbucks will introduce a new line of “Vivannos” starting tomorrow. Don’t know what a Vivanno is? Time to add a word to your Starbucks lexicon of pseudo-Mediterranean new-speak: Vivanno = smoothie.

After years of not trying, those Seattle-ish coffee merchants are really scrambling, aren’t they? Heck, I’m all for it. Anything beats that left-in-the-oven-for-days flavor of the corporate giant’s burnt coffee.

From our wine maven Taylor Eason comes inexpensive wines with our inexpensive menus (bolded wines will work for the whole menu, if you don’t want to go with course-by-course wines):

David Miller, Savant Fine Dining:
Sweet Potato Soup: Big Fire 2006 Pinot Gris, $15
Heirloom Tomato Salad: Columbia Crest 2007 Two Vines Rose, $10
Braised Lamb in Peach Gastrique with Sweet Potato Scallops and Baby Eggplant: Jaboulet 2005 “Parallele 45� Cotes du Rhone, $15

Fabrizio Schenardi, Pelagia Trattoria:
Polenta with Sauteed Mushrooms: St. Francis 2004 Red, $12
Open-Faced Ravioli: Masi 2006 Masianco Venezie, $15
Seared Salmon with Green Beans: Beringer 2006 Pinot Noir, $20
Fruit Crepes: Banfi 2007 Rosa Regale, $18

Seble Gizaw, Queen of Sheba:
Mashed Potato Salad: Bonny Doon 2005 Le Cigare Blanc California, $20
Lentil Soup: 7 Deadly Zins 2004 Zinfandel, $13
Lamb Tibs: Onix 2006 Priorat, $12

Grass Root Tofu Scramble: Sokol Blosser Evolution #9 11^th Edition

Elements, vegetarian menu:
Mushroom Medley: whatever red wine you use in the recipe OR Campo Viejo 2004 Rioja Crianza, $12
Ravioli: S.A. Prum 2006 Riesling, $12

This can only make the King Of Beers better, I imagine.

Twelve cans of the stuff arrived to our office today from Mountain Dew headquarters, high in the mountains. We got four of each flavor. Our editor (at CL’s Sarasota paper) Jonathan Maziarz was the first to try it. He opened the bright blue can that’s Infused with Wild Berry Fruit Flavor and Ginseng. I overheard the following statements as he drank and worked on his important editor duties:

“There’s an interesting smell coming from the can… Hm. It’s not wholly offensive….Actually, there’s a really profoundly bad aftertaste…Ew, it’s like Newark in my mouth.�

I drop one off on arts writer Amanda Schurr’s desk, the pink can With a Blast of Strawberry Melon Flavor and Ginseng. “Thanks. Ew,� she says, upon looking at the can. “I can hardly wait.� Several minutes later I hear her open the flip top. “Oh, God,� she says. “Some little drops got on my finger and I actually tasted some of it.� She adds, “It tastes like fake strawberry and melon flavor and Mountain Dew, which is to say it tastes repulsive.�

I try the one in the black can, which is Charged With Raspberry Citrus Flavor and Ginseng. Mmm. It reminds me of popsicles from the ice cream man on my neighborhood street when I’d been working hard all day building forts and assaulting my younger brother. “Dew drinker designed,� it says on the can.

Food science is kind of scary that way when you think about it. So invasive is their market analysis, so powerful are they in commandeering our nostalgia, that they’ve managed to replicate the sensation of a tri-color Mr. Tasty Time popsicle from the mid-‘90s and package it in a little black can that they mail to my place of business. I’m trying to become a man, Mountain Dew, to live a brave and productive life without reverting to my helpless childhood. Don’t even try this shit. We are immune.

-Justin Richards 

Free wi-fi, refills and syrups begins today at Starbucks. Only two hours a day for the internet, and you have to sign up for their rewards program and buy some stuff, but kudos. My local ‘bucks just went 24 hours, so maybe I’ll use the free stuff after my favorite locally-owned coffee joint closes for the night. Their wi-fi has always been free.

Space beer, anyone?

A Japanese brewer is planning to brew beer using grain that descended from barley grown in space aboard the International Space Station.

Rocky. Hoosiers. Hoop dreams. Now, there is another entrant in that epic genre of sports films. Last Cup profiles four young competitors seeking the ultimate title in the fierce world of Beer Pong. Yep, of course I’m talking about the World Series of Beer Pong held in Las Vegas, Nevada every January. You may have seen the finals replayed at 4 a.m. on the Ocho. This year’s winner was the unstoppable team called “Chauffeuring the Fat Kid”, who took home the $50,000 grand prize. If they’d had prizes like that when I was in college, I’d have considered going pro.

Here’s some footage of the winners in action:

I’ll a steaming hot cup of corrections, with a soy shout out and a side of apology:

1. I mistakenly gave a wrong address for Kahwa Roaster’s new shop in last week’s paper. It’s on 2nd AVE. N, not 2nd St. N. My specific apologies go out to an irate woman who spent some pedal power trying to find the place on her bike. My bad.
2. That piece also prompted a letter from Anne Vela, owner of Cafe Hey. Here’s what she said:
   “Just to re-emphasize something I’m sure you know, an accepted localvore practice is to allow items that have been traded over the centuries from far distances, such as olive oil, some grains and also coffee. So Kahwa who yes trades its beans internationally, gets the seal of local approval.
   As a plug for my own shop, Cafe Hey (through which I go through much effort to purchase locally traded and produced items as well as organic and fairtrade foods whenever I can) serves Sweetwater Coffee roasted in Gainesville, FL. Being that they are located within 200 miles of Tampa, it also counts as locally produced! Sweetwater Roasters is also currently certified USDA Organic by QCS and Florida Organic Growers, certified FairTrade by Transfair USA, Rainforest Alliance Certified, a participant in the Eco Q system, is Smithsonian Bird Friendly AND lastly is certified by Utz Kapeh!!!
   They also roast some pretty damn fine coffee. Hope you’ll try it sometime.”
   I will, Anne.
   
3. Finally, in CL’s Urban Explorer issue a few weeks ago, I wrote the section on downtown St. Pete and referred to the Globe Coffee Shop as a “bohemian cafe.” Accurate, sure, but it’s also a tad inconsiderate to a little place a few blocks away called Cafe Bohemia (937 Central Ave., 727-895-4495). That shop also has an urban bohemian crowd, with good coffee, good beer and live music or DJs most weekend nights. Check it out and tell them I sent you to apologize for me.

Joey Redner (no relation), local beer columnist for the St. Pete Times, just hired a head brewer for his new craft brewery.

According to Beer Advocate, Wayne Wambles will be brewing Cigar City Brewing’s first batches of beer, slated to be released in September of this year. Wambles recently worked for Foothill’s Brewing in  North Carolina.  According to the press release, Wambles makes a mean  strong scotch ale and is a fan of Belgians, while Redner loves him some stout and porter, so look for those to be in Cigar City’s early line-up. If they can find some hops.

Since he’s a writer as much as a beer entrepeneur, Redner has a blog chronicling his path towards craft brew success. You may also want to check out last year’s CL Beer Issue for the rags to brews success story of Bob Sylvester and Saint Somewhere.

Last year, the news that there was a worldwide shortage of hops sent chills up my beery spine. The little flowers that add complexity, aroma and bitterness to beer are grown around the world, but some of the biggest producers experienced huge shortfalls in 2007. Hops that sold in previous years for a few dollars per pound skyrocketed to OPEC-style levels, many at $25 a pound or more. And even if brewers could afford the huge hit to their bottom line, through price increases that customers aren’t going to be happy with, they often couldn’t find enough hops to buy. (more…)

Best headline of the month, thanks to the Scotsman. Apparently scientists have warned the Scotch whiskey industry that some of the best known distilleries are in danger from … global warming. Distilleries on the islands, especially my Islay faves Lagavulin and Laphroaig, are in danger due to rising sea levels that could swamp underground aging cellars.

I like the tang of brine in my Scotch, but that’s a little much.

Finally, Maine’s official state soft drink is available here in Florida, thanks to the fine people at Sweetbay.

Moxie Soda has long had a cult-like following of evangelical fans, due both to its unusual flavor and small distribution area. Earlier this year, Coca-Cola Bottling of Northern New England purchased the brand and planned to expand sales of Moxie outside of its traditional Northeastern borders. Florida is the first test market.

Originally marketed as a medicine called “Moxie Nerve Food,� Moxie became a carbonated soda in 1884, claiming “to be the only harmless nerve food known that can recover brain and nervous exhaustion, loss of manhood, imbecility and helplessness.� That’s almost enough to compensate for a taste that is often described as a cross between cola and root beer, with a little extra medicinal zing from gentian root extract. “There’s nothing that tastes like it,� explains brand manager Justin Conroy.

Conroy has plans to expand distribution in Florida, although Sweetbay will be the only outlet in the short term. Six-pack cans of Moxie have been on the shelves for about a month, with Diet Moxie and Moxie Energy on the way.

Dr. Vino has a new study that shows how much of an impact the wine we drink has on the environment. It’s a great study that deserves a serious read, but here’s what I’ve pulled out of it: drink wine from big bottles or bag-in-a-box, oak chips are better than oak barrels and wine from Europe is better than California if you live East of the Mississippi.

Sounds like the greenest choice may be plonk from France in a plastic jug.

Enjoy Beerfest? Yeah, me too.

Right in the middle of the Fest festivities, CL editor David Warner took the stage to run the finals of our Everyperson International Beer Challenge. Let’s air this out right now: this on-stage tasting was my idea, originally. I accept all blame for the fact that watching four people taste beer for a half hour is a big-time buzz kill. No matter that Dave innovated by bringing red-faced schmoes on stage to try the same beer the judges were trying or that lovely Ashle was up there pouring, it was a long 30 minutes.

But who cares? Our mugs and hearts were already full of two hour of generous pours from Beerfest vendors.

When it was all over and the votes were tabulated, perhaps the most commonplace beer on the tasting — Fullers E.S.B. — took home top honors. Other beers had their proponents, especially the St. Feuillien Triple, but there was always one person who took offense to those worthy brews and marked them harshly. Fullers was universally popular.

Thanks to all the judges — Bethany Sherwin of World Of Beer, Bob Sylvester of Saint Somewhere Brewery, our own Wade Tatangelo and Wayne Roddy from barproducts.com — as well as to Ashle and Dave for their fine work.

In honor of this week’s Beer Issue (check the stands on Wednesday), I’ll be devoting this entire week to the stories that couldn’t make it into the issue. And, unlike my aborted beer-a-day experiment, I won’t get tired and fall asleep after each one.

When I visited with the Tampa Bay BEERS homebrew club for the issue, I ended up spending time with Jeff Gladish and Mark Stober, two long-time members who happen to be “beer judges” certified by the BJCP. There are four different levels of certification — recognized, certified, national and master; both Stober and Gladish recently made master.

The original exam consisted of an intensive written exam and a blind judging of three beers, but the trek to master level takes time and judging experience. A lot of time. “I took the exam in 1995,” said Stober, “and I just got master two months ago.” There are only 69 master level judges in the world and only one other in Florida.

Those keen palates and detailed understanding of competitive beer styles seems like quite an advantage to a brew club that’s intent on “taking over the world,” according to Gladish. Maybe that’s why BEERS is currently in first place among Florida homebrew clubs.

It’s a busy month for beer, folks. Here’s a list of Oktoberfestivities to get you started, not to mention Creative Loafing’s very own INTERNATIONAL BEERFEST! Oops, I mentioned it.

Dunedin Brewery OktoBEERfest, Oct. 4-6, Dunedin Brewery, 937 Douglas Ave., Dunedin, 727-736-0606 – The tent goes up once again during that fun weekend festival that celebrates autumn, Florida, and most importantly BEER! Dunedin Brewery’s 7th Annual OktoBEERfest will be held Oct. 4th-6th under the big tent at the Dunedin Brewery with the usual brats, brew, and brew ha ha, along with a few new surprises, including an added day of fun under the tent. Thursday night kicks off the festivities with our “Liter Release” Party, which will be a special night for our mug club members new and old, Dunedin Brewery dimpled liter mugs are released this night and every one must have a mug or purchase one to participate in this night. Friday night brings Stein Holding Contests; Pickle eating contests, of course fresh brews from our “braumeisters”. 7pm brings the “raise your stein and sing along” sounds of Full Fledged Unit the ceremonial keg will be tapped at 9pm with our own infamous Brew master and perhaps a local celebrity or two. Saturday afternoon the fun continues with a local musician showcase, then Uncle John’s Band will take the stage at 7pm for what is sure to be a stunning show, stein holding and pickle eating contests will continue this night as well.

World Of Beer Oktoberfest, $5, Oct. 5, 3-10 p.m., Oct. 6, Noon-10 p.m., field adjacent to World Of Beer, 9524 Linebaugh Ave., Tampa, 813-852-2337 – Enjoy a wide selection of Oktoberfest beer, delicious German food, and live music. Get your football fix and attend; we will be playing college football on our outdoor projection screen all day Saturday, including the Florida vs LSU game on Saturday at 8pm. Family friendly.

Oktoberfest Brew Ha-Ha, Oct. 13, 1-7 p.m., St. Petersburg Clay Company, 420 22nd St. S., St. Petersburg, 727-896-2529 – The artists at St. Petersburg Clay Company ceramic studios will celebrate Oktoberfest Brew-Ha-Ha with the community.Over 60 artists have been working hard making beer mugs to sell full of Yeungling beer for this event.In addition, local musical acts, food, a raffle, artist demonstrations and a kid¡¦s art booth will provide entertainment throughout the evening.The artists encourage the community to come and meet them at the old Historic Seaboard Train Station, at the corner of 5^th Avenue South and 22 Street South, and enjoy all St. Pete Clay has to offer them!

Oktoberfest Biergarten at Centro Ybor, $15, Oct. 13, 11 a.m.-4 p.m., Centro Ybor, 1600 E. 8th Ave., Tampa, 813-241-8838 -As part of this year’s Streetcar Fest, the Ybor Chamber of Commerce will host an Oktoberfest Biergarten in partnership with Centro Ybor, its members and their tenants. This special event is designed to bring back the German heritage that was so much a part of Ybor’s famed cigar industry. The event will feature Ybor City’s own award winning brew pub, Tampa Bay Brewing Company and all things German, including genuine Oktoberfest beer, authentic German cuisine, a live polka band, and German raffle items, such as German beer steins and beer boots.

Oktoberfest On The Beach, Oct. 20, 11 a.m.-7 p.m., Kolb Park, Bay Palm Blvd., Indian Rocks Beach, 727-512-7292 – Fun-filled family day with continuous live music, foods from around the world, arts & crafts tents. Brats, saurerkraut, Oktoberfest beers. Games for adults and kids. Free Admission. Check out our website for details.

It’s easy to forgive the nigh-unforgiveable act of combining two perfectly acceptable words, both capitalized, into one IdiotWord! Why? Because the beer is so very bad, I will likely program my mind to read it as something more appealing, like BeerWater, or even RefrainFromBuyingBecauseItTastesLikeCaramelColoredMichelobLight
WhichAlsoDoesn’tTasteVeryGood.

Oops. I think that last one was the review in toto. Have you had Michelob? Have you worn rose colored glasses while drinking it? That’s AmberBock.

Michelob AmberBock – 1.5 Stars

Damn, this stout pours from the bottle like a velvet painting of chocolate syrup, thick and opaque. At first glance, I feel like I might have to chew it. The rich chocolate and toffee nose backs that up, but it’s more bittersweet dark than the milky richness that I expect from a cream stout.

In the mouth, well, it doesn’t deliver. The body’s a little lighter than anticipated, the chocolate flavors seem torched and roasted and there’s none of the sweet silkyness I associate with cream stout. Even with all that, it’s a meaty little drink that seems to get stuck in my back teeth. I might end up chewing this, after all.

St. Peter’s Cream Stout – 2.5 stars

To commemorate the early demise of one of the beer world’s greats, I’ll be featuring a beer a day for the next two months. Only during the work week; I love beer but I’ve got to spend some private time with wine and the brown liquors. They’re jealous bitches.

Today (tonight, really), will be Lagunitas Maximus, an India Pale Ale from Petaluma, CA. First off — can you call it an IPA when it’s 7.5% alcohol? This modern devotion to making a monster out of normal beer through the wonders of fermentation can go a bit far.

This particular beast is a pleasant red-gold color, with fine carbonation and a fruity, malty nose. As expected, that big alcohol fills my mouth, pushing malt and caramel flavors along with a resiny hit of bitter hops. Not bad, but not especially distinctive. At this alcohol level, the big 22oz bottle should make for a nice pre-nighty-night sedative.

Lagunitus “Maximus” IPA – 3 stars.

Last Thursday, beer maven and writer Michael Jackson died. If you’ve never heard of him, you’ve probably never read about beer. For almost four decades he had been the blessed brew’s most tireless supporter, describing — occasionally with flowery love and occasionally with frank calculation — the popular and obscure styles of the world’s beers.

I still use an old copy of his New World Guide To Beer on an almost weekly basis (sometimes as a checklist for beers I still need to try). His Great Beers of Belgium was a classic that rivaled Robert Parker’s Burgundy. The proliferation of US microbreweries, the popularization of home-brewing and the re-discovery (at least in England and here in the US) of a vast array of almost forgotten European beer styles all has a lot to do with Jackson’s efforts.

Let’s drain a cold one for the man.