Eat My Florida

Horse meat is good for you and, according to this Guardian podcast, most of it comes from the US. Equilicious!

Thanks to the USDA and the Almond Board of California, now your almonds may be treated with carcinogenic motorcycle fuel that’s been “banned by both the National Hot Rod and American Motorcycle Racing Associations, where it had been used as a fuel before being deemed too dangerous.”

Well, I’ve guess all that unused hot-rod fuel has to go somewhere. (Thanks to Chow.)

Why is the food at weddings so bad? Here’s the gist.

Thanks to Slashfood, I’ve been introduced to Robert Rodriguez’s 10 Minute Cooking School.

For Once Upon A Time In Mexico and Sin City, Rodriguez slapped cooking demos into the DVD extras. The recipes are simple and seem surprisingly good and Rodriguez is a pretty engaging host, with a few little film director tricks that make the Food Network look like local access.

This one is for Puerco Pibil — the roast pork that Johnny Depp’s character seeks out in Once:

and this one is for Breakfast Tacos (including a recipe for quick flour tortillas):

Article in Wired about a pill that expands in your stomach, making you think you’re full. Could this be used for training?

Why do I love Hell’s Kitchen? Easy. The only way to win the contest is to successfully perform on the line in a working restaurant kitchen. Sure, there’s lots of reality show rigamarole and goofiness, especially since the show is on Fox, but fundamentally, you just have to cook.

My fears for this season of Hell’s Kitchen? Last year, none of the contestants were worth a damn in the kitchen. Unlike the first season, there wasn’t a single person who deserved to win. (Although what they actually will win is up for debate – thanks, Leilani). Let’s hope the talent level is higher this year.

30 minutes in: The giant Asian cowboy (Aaron) has cried, the women can’t work together, and the editors have already laid the foundation for a pretend flirtation between the sex bomb (Melissa) and Ramsay, blonde (Bonnie) almost cries.

45 minutes in: The women are unable to recognize that a short order (Julia) cook might be the person to call on to help with fried eggs, Julia proceeds to cry – then cooks some damn fine eggs, Aaron breaks down and walks out – Ramsay consoles, men run out of everything, Bonnie almost cries again.

1 hour in: Ramsay closes the kitchen, Melissa wins (deservedly) and has to choose two people from her team for possible elimination, Joanna and Tiffany lobby for Julia’s early demise (both of them should be the ones going – Julia cooked some damn eggs, bitches!), Melissa cries (because of tough choices, not Ramsay), Melissa picks Joanna and Tiffany, bye bye Tiffany.

It was the correct choice. Anyone who can’t fry up a few quail eggs shouldn’t be there. Even better, she threw Julia under the bus just because “she works at the freaking waffle shop!”

Now, the Eat My Florida official odds of who will make it to the final two:

• Aaron – 1 bazillion to 1
• Brad – 2 to 1
• Eddie – 10 to 1
• Josh – 8 to 1
• Rock – 5 to 1
• Vinnie – 15 to 1
• Bonnie – 12 to 1
• Jen – 15 to 1
• Joanna – 20 to 1
• Julia – 10 to 1
• Melissa – 2 to 1

Melissa and Brad for the win. We’ll see.

Last night saw the return of the food-related reality TV season with the Food Network’s Next Food Star Challenge.

The opener was less dreary than expected, with a surprisingly challenging wedding catering shindig to anchor the episode. Considering how superficial the entire Food TV experience is, here are my thoughts about the contestants, along with official Eat My Florida Odds on who makes the final 3 -

• Rory – Did she buy those top teeth for Halloween? Giant and glowing with an inner light, those teeth could have a show all by themselves. (Psst, get your own agent, teeth. Screw Rory!) Perhaps they’ll take over for Sandra Lee… (100 to1)
• JAG – Your no-nonsense Marine sensibilities will get you far in life. Sadly, that, combined with the fact that you can cook, probably will disqualify you from a Food TV show. (2-1)
• Tom – Tell me you wouldn’t have served the polenta anyway, if the cameras hadn’t been on you. Fuggedaboutit. (10-1)
• Paul – What’s with the Survivor-esque way you let the other team hang themselves (see polenta above)? That’s not how the Food Network wants to appear. Maybe they’ll offer you a job in programming. (8-1)
• Nikki – Two words: pink suit? What was up with that monstrosity? And the clown boots? Going for the sympathy vote? (50-1)
• Colombe – Cute and soft spoken, but can’t add at grocery store. She fits right in. (8-1)
• Michael – Tell me you wouldn’t have told Tom to serve the polenta anyway, if the cameras hadn’t been rolling. That’s what 90% of the chefs out there would have done, so I don’t blame you. (10-1)
• Adrien – Were you in the episode? Who is this guy? (20-1)
• Amy – Je m’appelle Amy. Je t’aime Paris! Good leader, though. (2-1)

Be sure to tune in for the vastly superior Hell’s Kitchen, starting tonight on Fox. Je m’appelle Brian. Je t’aime Gordon Ramsay.

Just in case you didn’t realize, soda is bad for you. Nothing like a tasty beverage to shut off parts of your DNA. If I drink enough, will it turn me into a superhero? Uh oh, maybe it’s shutting off parts of my brain, as well.

Gordon Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares series on BBC has been co-opted by Fox, which will be airing a US version to start Fall of this year.

If it remains even vaguely true to the BBC version, this will be a wildly entertaining show for anyone interested in restaurant life, without the contest aspect of so many train-wreck reality shows.

It’s scheduled for 9pm on Thursdays, which sucks. Opposite all those major network big-hitters Nightmares will probably find little traction and quick-trigger Fox will undoubtedly pull the plug halfway through the season. We should start a letter-writing campaign now.

Interesting op-ed piece in NYT today by Nina Planck (she was here in Tampa last year pimping her book — Real Food). Her basic point is that veganism (and maybe vegetarianism) is an irresponsible diet for young children. Even breast milk from vegan mothers suffers from a deficiency of several important nutrients. Vegan? Maybe pick a nice formula and bottle feed.

We had a similar case in South Florida a few years back of a couple who fed their newborn a strict “raw” diet.

The short and simple answer to this is — talk to a doctor (a real, gosh-darn medical professional) before subjecting a child to any form of alternative eating system. That’s what most vegan and vegetarian parents do and that’s why cases like this are, thankfully, a very rare, tragic exception.

Want to be a chef? Think twice about culinary school.

Locally, you’ll end up paying $47,152 for a 21 month (full-time) Associates Degree at The Art Institute Of Tampa, or over $40,000 for 28 months at Keiser in Sarasota. For some people the experience is undoubtedly worth it.

The dreary truth is that I’ve heard variations of that title quote from many culinary academy grads. And I’ve heard from many restaurant folk that there can be a backlash to pushing school experience, even from chefs who actually attended culinary school, a perception that students come out of programs with an “attitude”. Most chefs prefer proven, work-a-day kitchen experience. In the trenches, yo.

Two years and a lot of money? Or two years slogging through the lowest levels of a restaurant kitchen? Neither sounds pretty, unless it’s for a dream.

Sadly, local favorite Chef Joshua Dawson — who won the Art Institute of Tampa’s Best Teen Chef of 2007 — wasn’t able to take home the prize at the national competition. Keep up the good work Josh, and maybe I’ll be by to review your own place in a few years.

Great, now the robots will be able to track us by scent when the revolution comes. We should all consider buying some insurance.

Video podcast, even. Of course, I’m referring to Gordon Ramsay, bad boy chef extraordinaire. Lately he’s become the culinary equivalent of overplayed Top 40, but I still love the foul-mouthed perfectionist.

It’s called Gordon Ramsay’s Fast Food (you can find it on iTunes), and, at first watch, the podcast is damn cool. Each has two parts – a short (6-7 minute video) of the Man preparing the food, then a PDF with the full recipe details. Recipes are simple and, as the name implies, quick to prepare. Plus, I get more Ramsay for my addiction, along with Hell’s Kitchen, The F Word and Kitchen Nightmares. And the life-size cardboard cutout I keep in the closet.

Sticking with the hot dog theme, found a short but sweet story about the economics of NYC pushcart vendors (thanks to CHOW). Would love to have some more concrete numbers on the costs and revenue, but maybe some of our local cartographers can give me the lowdown.

Pretty little profile in the NYT of Oregon Governor Theodore R. Kulongoski’s attempt to live on just $3 for food a day, all to raise awareness of hunger issues and a potential tightening of food stamp programs by the Federal Guv’mint. I’m sorry, did I say “hunger”? I mean “food insecurity” (thanks for that piece of nonsense, Department of Agriculture).

Cell phones are deadly killers?

Was the food that bad? Or that good? Don’t complain about the title, I considered going with “Could I have a pie with extra meat?”

An article in the Sarasota Herald today reminded me why you can forget your fears of Global Climate Destruction. The bees are going to kill us first.

As Einstein put it – “If the bee disappeared off the surface of the globe then man would only have four years of life left. No more bees, no more pollination, no more plants, no more animals, no more man.” A bit of an exaggeration, maybe, since bees are only used to pollinate about a 1/3 of crops here in the US, but it wouldn’t be pretty. And bees are disappearing.

The Tampa Trib talked about the problem a few weeks ago, but the most thorough mass media account — admittedly with an anti-GM spin — was in Der Spiegel. The cause? Parasites, GM plants, or something more nefarious?

Maybe the bees are joining their Africanized cousins for an Apian revolution, televised by the Sci-Fi Channel.

Worried? Soothe that tension with some local honey from Tampa area co-op Eden’s Nectar, but don’t go overboard. Chances are this won’t be the death of us, but it sure is a reminder about the interconnectedness of a world-wide eco-system that our farming practices tend to bully or disregard.

For the depressing lowdown on how it feels to work in journalism when the Pulitzer lists come out, check PoHo’s post, but I’m feeling pretty exuberant about the whole ordeal. Sure, I may have been overlooked (again!), but at least a brother in arms — Jonathon Gold of LA Weekly — took home the trophy. First food critic to ever win, by the way. Thanks for paving the way, Gold.