Fresh Loaf

The commercials for tonight’s episode of “24″ (airing at 9 p.m. EST Monday on Fox) promise to have “the most shocking scene in ‘24′ history!” so I guess watching it is mandatory. But perhaps this is a good time to try out the “24″ drinking game, patterned after the famous “Bob Newhart Show” drinking game, for which you take a drink any time someone says, “Hi, Bob!” (And on the advanced version of that game, you drink whenever someone says “Bob.”)

The choice of alcoholic beverage is not obvious, since characters almost never drink on the show – or eat, sleep or otherwise show the effects of working a 24-hour day. Still, the frequent presence of suicide bombers and/or former Soviet terrorists suggests that kamikazes or vodka drinks would be appropriate.

First, fill your glasses when the announcer says, “Viewer discretion is advised!” in that hilariously sinister and intense tone of voice.

1) Every time Jack Bauer tortures somebody, take a drink.

2) Every time Jack Bauer gets tortured, take a drink.

3) Every time one of Jack’s co-workers at CTU gets tortured, take a drink.

4) Every time one of Jack’s co-workers at CTU gets tortured and/or suffers a horrible personal tragedy, then gets asked to go back to work while putting aside their personal feelings, finish your drink.

5) Every time Jack says, “I don’t have a lot of time,” take a drink.

6) Every time anyone says, “That’s a luxury we can’t afford,” take a drink.

7) Every time Chloe provides Jack with a piece of information in secret, without the knowledge of her superiors or co-workers, take a drink.

8) Every time the bad guy turns out to be a White House official, take a drink.

9) Any time there’s an interrogation scene and Jack asks a question in a low voice, then repeats it in a shout, finish your drink. Example: “Where is the bomb? WHERE-IS-THE-BOMB?!!”

10) Finally, to get really, really drunk, adopt this rule: Every time Jack or anyone else talks on a cell phone, take a drink.

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