Weekend Humor, Sex & Concrete for the Road Warrior Gang

Let’s make Forensic Government Auditors sexy like the CSI gang… i.e.:

Mathilda, a dedicated, Bibb County forensic accountant by day, bikini bar pole dancer & blogger by night, part time masseuse & tattoo artist on the weekends, was racked by guilt as she pondered the single page document, containing the bridge, concrete composition formula. CNN was showing picture after picture of the victims of the Tom Moreland-Donato Altobelli-Harold Linnenkohl- Glenn Richardson-Tommy Olmstead-Bob Fountain-Elmo Richardson-Charlie Bishop Bridge to nowhere, collapsing into the Atlantic off the coast of Jekyll Island.

Mathilda pushed her long brown hair to the side, pulled out her tassel whip and thrashed her back three times for letting that little twisted nose, napoleonic good ole boy intimidate and back her down when she raised questions about the weakened concrete mixture formula, which was reported by an office clerk in Alabama, who was a fellow bikini bar pole dancer by night, in a club that was indirectly owned by a prominent member of the Chamber Maiden Club of Middle Georgia but was shielded from view by the Second Ever Female Secretary of State’s Corporate non transparency rules, just like the laws that forced her to shield her first amendment womanhood at the bikini bar.

Mathilda’s deep blue eyes were conflicted. What was a Millenium woman to do? Where were her priorities? She realized she didn’t know the reflection in the mirror anymore. Who was she, what did she stand for? Forensic accounting, pole dancing, massage, tattoo art, conflict cover up makeup, fragrance, eyeliner, lead based lipstick?

Since the new and improved anti ethics and anti whistleblower laws, Mathilda would need to hop-skip-jump, post haste and choose between the multitude of Title Pawn stores on PioNono Avenue, which no one could pronounce, to take out a loan, to hire an attorney, to expose the secrets behind the collapse of the Tom Moreland-Donato Altobelli-Harold Linnenkohl-Glenn Richardson- Tommy Olmstead-Bob Fountain-Elmo Richardson-Charlie Bishop Bridge to nowhere.

Her plans to become a Mother through anywhere-but-Georgia, artificial insemination would have to be put on hold, unless she could convince Vernon that he needed a christened child, on the campaign trail, as he ran for Lt Governor of Georgia…

A fine little bitch, but pole-dancing hottie she ain’t.

it’s in the comments section of this article that may inspire the bank teller to greater heights but she’d have to move to Bbib County first:

http://www.macon.com/198/story/163353.html

Victor, obviously those Bibb County girls are better at math than the check cashing chick in “The Blotter” today. It also means they don’t understand the value of us older men. It’s like Jeeps and Harley’s….if I gotta explain it, you wouldn’t understand….. haha same goes true for women over 30…. if I knew then what I know now I would have been dating them when I was in my 20’s

Honestly, every time I turn on a tap now, I’m aware of the water flow in a way I never was before. And I’m totally weirded out by this irony: after having recently been enlightened & frightened about the plastic waste involved in using bottled water vs. tap, our current situation is making a pack of Dasani look like a viable option.