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Huckabee on national security

December 7, 2007 at 9:46 am by Andisheh Nouraee in News

Republican leaders and voters brag that they’re the party of national security.

The following excerpts come from the campaign Web page of Mike Huckabee, who is currently at or near the top of Republican Party presidential polls nationwide.

During the Cold War, we had hawks and doves, but this new war requires us to be a phoenix, rising reborn to meet each new challenge and seize each new opportunity.

Huckabee will deploy 50 percent more metaphors in the fight against terrorists.

We have to get tough with President Musharaff [sic] who has allowed Al Qaeda and the Taliban to have bases in Waziristan.

Huckabee refuses to spell Musharraf’s name correctly. You can’t get any tougher than that.

Being a phoenix means constantly reinventing ourselves, dying to mistakes and miscalculations, changing tactics and strategies, rising reborn to meet each new challenge and seize each new opportunity.

Not only doesn’t Huckabee believe in evolution, he also believes that the moral of the phoenix legend is “learn from your mistakes.” Arkansas public schools are worse than I suspected.

We can accomplish a great deal, we can achieve tremendous bang for the buck, with swift, surgical air strikes and commando raids by our elite units, working with friendly governments, as we’ve done with the Ethiopians in Somalia.

I agree. We’ve certainly accomplished a “great deal” in Somalia this year.

Is President Musharaff of Pakistan for us 100%? No, since September 11, he’s been playing both ends in the middle to survive.

The expression is “both ends against the middle.”

We have to get tough with Mursharaff and re-calibrate the carrots and sticks we use with him.

Quick! Get the carrot calibrator!

We’re in a game of chicken with this military dictator.

Chicken and carrots? Delicious!

When I make foreign policy, I want to be able to treat Saudi Arabia the same way I treat Sweden, and that requires us to be energy independent. These folks have had us over a barrel - literally - for way too long.

Yes, let’s be energy independent, so we can treat a corrupt, brutal monarchy the same way we treat a peaceful, stable, generous, profoundly decent democracy. That’s good thinking, Huck.

And by the way, if you’re gonna let someone bend you over a barrel, at least the Saudis have plenty of lubricant.


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4 Responses to “Huckabee on national security”

  1. james Says:

    hillarious and right on the money. and you know coming from me to you on anything political you write that is high praise.

    i laughed for five straight minutes.

    ‘the chicken and carrots’ doctrine…..love it.

  2. Mr. T Says:

    “Literally” over a barrel? I suppose that’s irregardless of what our future plans are?

    Let’s us hope fundraising goes better for Huck so he can hire a competent writer. You can’t run for Vice President this way and win.

  3. P Campbell Says:

    God forbid this man should even be V.P. That\\\’s just too damn close for comfort.

  4. Dale Says:

    I prefer the “Chicken and Waffles” doctrine.

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