Comments on: Streetalk: Will Cats ever go away? http://blogs.creativeloafing.com/freshloaf/2008/01/08/streetalk-will-cats-ever-go-away/ Atlanta news and views, one slice at a time Tue, 24 Nov 2009 17:40:53 -0500 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 hourly 1 By: Mr. Peepers http://blogs.creativeloafing.com/freshloaf/2008/01/08/streetalk-will-cats-ever-go-away/comment-page-1/#comment-50031 Mr. Peepers Thu, 10 Jan 2008 15:36:34 +0000 http://blogs.creativeloafing.com/freshloaf/2008/01/08/streetalk-will-cats-ever-go-away/#comment-50031 There are time in your life when you are hit with a crushing wave of reality that your decision was a heinous error in judgment. Just like the time I had romantic relations with an incontinent, drunk woman who had just consumed 30 TMI hot wings and two pitchers of Schlitz beer. So too was the time I sat in my seat after paying $10 to experience the musical, “Cats.” Perhaps the original Broadway version has some qualities that may have been lost in the translation as performed by the North Druid Hills mentally retarded and special needs theatrical troupe. As soon as the first key was struck on the piano and the kid with the helmet on bellowed, I knew that had made a serious, seriously poor judgment buying the ticket and seating in the front row for this performance. Not wanting to make myself into a social pariah by walking out during the show, I sat with deer-caught-in-headlights stare at the howling spectre before me like Alex’s treatment scenes from “A Clockwork Orange.” When the curtain finally closed I cried. I kind of know why, but at the same time I have yet found the words to explain it. It wasn’t because I had just watched what ten halfwits in unitards, fur and makeup could do with a little bit of heavy-handed direction. More so, it was because I ‘had’ to watch ten mentally retarded kids sing and and dance for one hour without the courtesy of an intermission in between. I do not go to special needs class musicals anymore. I certainly do not want to see ‘Cats’ again. To tell you the truth I do not much care for cats anyway. They are lazy, indignant and use you like an emotional tampon to sate their needs for moist cat food and some kind-nip. Not even ten dolled-up retards could make me appreciate the appeal of felines. Perhaps someday, they will make a musical about tetras or red-cap orandas. There are time in your life when you are hit with a crushing wave of reality that your decision was a heinous error in judgment. Just like the time I had romantic relations with an incontinent, drunk woman who had just consumed 30 TMI hot wings and two pitchers of Schlitz beer. So too was the time I sat in my seat after paying $10 to experience the musical, “Cats.” Perhaps the original Broadway version has some qualities that may have been lost in the translation as performed by the North Druid Hills mentally retarded and special needs theatrical troupe. As soon as the first key was struck on the piano and the kid with the helmet on bellowed, I knew that had made a serious, seriously poor judgment buying the ticket and seating in the front row for this performance.

Not wanting to make myself into a social pariah by walking out during the show, I sat with deer-caught-in-headlights stare at the howling spectre before me like Alex’s treatment scenes from “A Clockwork Orange.” When the curtain finally closed I cried. I kind of know why, but at the same time I have yet found the words to explain it. It wasn’t because I had just watched what ten halfwits in unitards, fur and makeup could do with a little bit of heavy-handed direction. More so, it was because I ‘had’ to watch ten mentally retarded kids sing and and dance for one hour without the courtesy of an intermission in between.

I do not go to special needs class musicals anymore. I certainly do not want to see ‘Cats’ again. To tell you the truth I do not much care for cats anyway. They are lazy, indignant and use you like an emotional tampon to sate their needs for moist cat food and some kind-nip. Not even ten dolled-up retards could make me appreciate the appeal of felines. Perhaps someday, they will make a musical about tetras or red-cap orandas.

]]>