Fresh Loaf

This Bigfoot thing just gets stranger. The sasquatch carcass was — surprise! — revealed to be a rubber gorilla costume, the company that paid the two Clayton County gentleman $50,000 for the costume plan to sue, and last night the hoaxsters’ website was redesigned and proclaimed they were the world’s greatest pranksters.

Supposedly, “more will be revealed” on Sept. 1. The site’s down now, but I was able to pull this thrilling and eloquent news update. (The “Tom” and “Steve” mentioned below are the California gentlemen who helped publicize the “find” and now plan to sue.)

August 20, 2008

,.,.,.lol ,we are not on the run,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,this hoax was blown, when people started to talk about the suit from horrordome.com,and a member of tom biscardis team wanted to bail,,,,,so tom and steve did all they could do,.,..,.,blame the rednecks from georgia.,,.,.,.,.,.we did pull off the best hoax every,, yes every,, dont take my word for it,,,ask the world.,.,.,.,., and fyi ,,the body was turned over to biscardi 8/14/2008,,we flew to s.f on 08/15/08,.,.,.and left s.f on 08/17/2008 as planned,,,,,,no running,no hiding as planned

It’s a damn shame the site’s down. There were all sorts of cool pages and content lifted off Wikipedia. My favorite was under “Theory” in which they explained why Bigfoot kinda sorta has to exist:

MOST OF US DON’T HAVE OUR BODIES COVERED IN HAIR BECAUSE WE LIVE IN HOUSES, BUT IF YOU TURNED HUMANS INTO THE WILD WITH NO CLOTHES THEY WOULD BECOME VERY HARRY AND ALSO THE SMALLER ONES WOULD NOT SURVIVE DUE TO THE COLD WEATHER,

After the jump, read a few of the more than 1,300 heartwarming comments left on the hoaxsters’ guestbook by their biggest fans.

Hey dipshits… just stopped in to say my daily “Fuck You!” Hey Whitten, I know you’ll be needing some quick cash now that you’ve been fired from the force, so tell your wife I’ll [ed. even we have standards] for $10. For an extra $2 I’ll let you watch. You can stand in the corner and cry and [ed. again, standards].
Your Name comes here.
8/20/2008

Why the new website? Why - after everyone says you got caught lying would you spend the money to redo your website? Nothing is making sense because you guys keep leading us on. Think about it - if you really were lying, why front the money for a new website - rather a revamp - from your existing site? By the way - your website still is pretty bad - whether you are lying or not, contact me and I’ll hook you up with a REAL website. It’s hardly “user friendly”. Your site needs help! I can help - and if you are really serious about your find and the world is proved wrong, I will provide you at least $150,000 DOLLARS worth of incredible web presence/development at a top-notch interactive agency level for free - that’s a promise… ([redacted]). Please peeps - don’t add my email address to any data mining companies. I just wanna help these guys if this happens to be genuine - even after all the interviews that states it’s not. I guess that’s just the romatic side of me that wants to believe this is legit - while the rational side of me says there’s just no way - the evidence to debunk this is just too astonomical.
Todd
8/20/2008

i just found a bigfoot he’s alive in my house call me if you want to see it. Its talking and having some potato chips in the basement. I think it may smoke a cig later it told us its addicted.
Mike
8/20/2008

what is your families gonna do? how you going to protect them when your on the lam?
ghost rider
8/20/2008

“ghost rider” posted that same question seven times.

Ugly mouthaFucker got fired LOL LOL LOL LOL LOLLOL LOL LOL LOLhttp://www.cbs46.com/video/17240532/index.htmllook at this shit
DUMB FUCK R I C
8/20/2008

Silly Rednecks go get a job
From Australia
Real Men
8/20/2008

somebody hack this website please
ric and matt
8/20/2008

And my personal favorite:

you will never catch me
bigfoot
8/20/2008

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Tags: Bigfoot, Hoaxes, Sasquatch.