Metro Atlanta gas shortage — where to find fuel
September 29, 2008 at 10:13 am by Thomas Wheatley in NewsGas is hard to find in metro Atlanta, so we’re taking the most logical approach: Taking out our sharpest crayon and writing a letter to the governor, who sadly, will not witness the long lines of GasGatePanic2K8. He’s in Europe, rustling up some of those mystical “jobs.” And maybe selling a road to a Spanish company. But that’s another story. Behold the most important document written since Martin Luther nailed that Sunday school assignment to a bigass wooden door!
Georgia motorist searches for fuel in Mableton
Dear Gov. Sonny Perdue,
Hope Europe’s been sweeet, sir. I’m sure you’ve been inundated with tips from friends and family members as to where you should go, how you should get around, which hostels are cool, which headshops in Amsterdam “are hip,” etc. But just like last year when we asked you to bring back water from your jaunt to China, how about this time you tote back some gasoline for us? Because I don’t know if you’ve got the memo, but we’re not doing too hot over here! Motorists are “stalking” fuel trucks, lines are spilling out into the streets, and I myself witnessed a testy moment between two guys squabbling over who pulled up to the gas pump first. They saw my angel face and felt a wave of peace overtake them. That is my way.
Well, in your absence, the people have largely ignored your Friday afternoon “tips” and taken to the Internet to try to make sense of all this. If you want to catch up, be sure to check out Tessa from Drive A Faster Car’s rundown on what tools are available to residents who need fuel. The go-to resource that offers the most recent updates on where gas is available is Twitter. Users of the free micro-blogging service are posting updates every 10 minutes or so. You pointed people to to the largely static “atlantagasprices.com,” which is so uninformative in times like this I’m not even going to link to it.
Now, we all know you can’t control the weather and you can’t force refineries to start producing quickly. But you do have the power to allow the supplies at gas stations catch up with demand. The only way that might be possible is to reduce demand. You could cancel school for a day. Order state employees to work from home or give them an extended weekend. The state Senate press office is telecommuting for the next month. The fine minds at InsiderAdvantage suggest a system similar to how we water our lawns during the drought, which honestly is the best idea I’ve read thus far.
Oh, and UGA lost to Alabama. (Maybe you should’ve canceled that football game?)
Love,
Creative Loafing
September 29th, 2008 at 11:16 am
Now all you have to do is sit and wait in his office when he returns and pray he doesn’t ignore you. That should work, right? Right?
September 29th, 2008 at 11:18 am
Channeling Glenn Close: We will not be ignored. Even if we have to boil a rabbit (or more likely, a possum) in Mary Perdue’s kitchen.
September 29th, 2008 at 12:28 pm
The best way to reduce demand is to remove the goofy anti-gouging law.
September 29th, 2008 at 3:00 pm
They are already gouging… $4.49/gal near me!