Clickable Advent Calendar, 15: The Island of Misfit Toys
December 15, 2008 at 10:18 am by Curt Holman in A&E
The silver-and-gold standard for stop-motion animated Christmas specials is the original Rankin-Bass “Rudolph, The Red-Nosed Reindeer” special from 1964. At my house we watch it several times during the holiday season and I have two traditions that probably annoy other people. First, when Rudolph meets the sweet doe who bats her eyes at him and says “My name’s Clarice,” I always say, in a Hannibal Lecter voice, “Well, hello Clarice!” Second, I can’t help but obsess over practical issues regarding the Island of Misfit Toys (which, incidentally, had its own CGI spin-off special, “Rudolph and the Island of Misfit Toys,” airing on ABC Family tonight at 7 p.m.). I have at least five questions:
1. What is the standard for being a misfit toy? It seems pretty inconsistent. Some of the playthings have mild “nonconformities” (to quote Sam the Snowman), like the polka-dot elephant, the cowboy who rides an ostrich, etc. Others, like “the boat that doesn’t float” or the train with square wheels on its caboose, don’t seem like “misfit” toys. They just seem like crappy, defective toys. Apparently there’s a fine line between being a “misfit” and being “garbage.” Next thing you know, China will be sending barges full of recalled lead-containing playthings to the island.
2. Why isn’t King Moonracer more help? Sort of like Narnia’s Aslan, a flying lion called King Moonracer rules the island. (I’m not sure if King Moonracer’s a toy himself, but if so, a life-sized flying dragon would be the most awesome toy ever, improvable only with the addition of rocket-launchers.) He travels the world, finds unwanted toys and brings them to an arctic island that’s like a frozen leper colony. When Rudolph, Hermie and Yukon Cornelius arrive, he asks them to tell Santa Claus about the toys’ plight. But why can’t King Moonracer tell Santa himself? You can fly, dude! It’s not like the North Pole is that far away. It didn’t take Rudolph and company very long to get to the island, and they floated there on an ice floe.
3. Does it really matter that Charlie-in-a-Box is named “Charlie?” He claims that children reject him because he has the wrong name. But are kids really that hung up on having their Jack-in-a-Box be named “Jack?” I would suggest that Charlie simply “pass” as a Jack by changing his name, but maybe that would send the wrong message. At least he has the integrity to admit that he’s a Charlie, rather than live a lie and spend his life, you know, in the box.
4. What’s so bad about “a gun that shoots jelly?” It’s supposed to be a toy, after all. I guess it’s more annoying than a squirt gun, but kids would probably love a jelly gun. Would you rather give them an automatic that fires Teflon-coated bullets?
5. What exactly is wrong with the “Dolly For Sue?” She looks like a perfectly normal rag doll and, as the song “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year” points out, she can even say “How do you do.” So what’s the deal? Does she have a “nonconformity” that doesn’t visibly show? Is she anatomically incorrect in a disturbing way — or, for that matter, anatomically correct in a disturbing way? Maybe she’s possessed of some kind of psychological disorder, like the dolls that try to kill their owners in all those horror movies. Apparently on NPR’s “Wait, Wait, Don’t Tell Me,” producer Arthur Rankin said that the Misfit Doll was abandoned by her mistress and suffered from depression. I’m unconvinced.
Leave a Reply