Hiram man divests self of “all worldly possessions”
July 9, 2009 at 2:07 pm by Scott Henry in News
Hiram, sweet Hiram
Who among us hasn’t wanted to chuck it all and start over at some point?
Well, there’s a guy in Hiram, Georgia, who’s attempting to do just that and, as he puts it, he’s “serious as a heart attack.” I’ll let him set the scene, from his craigslist post:
I am up over my head in student loan and medical debt, but instead of whining about it and asking for charity, I have decided to man up and sell everything I own in one all or nothing ebay auction and start over from scratch. You can step out of your material life and take over mine! I will not sell anything in this lot individually, it is all or nothing! Don’t worry about me, I will be ok: Once it is sold I will travel the world or move to some exotic local and start over.
What’s he selling? Purt-near everything. Duh!
My house and 99.9 percent of everything in it. The house is a 4 bedroom split level in Hiram Ga, 25 or so miles due west of Atlanta. Nice open air design, very airy, cheery and bright. Recently bug bombed and bug blocker sprayed around the perimeter of the house. I have coated all the windows in the house with anti-glare film and done all sorts of cool landscaping and shrubbery. All the appliances work and are in excellent shape, the heater and AC work great. This is not a drafty house!
Not drafty — hot damn, what’s the downside? Well, for starters, it’s in Hiram, hometown to Speaker of the House Glenn Richardson. That’s gonna hurt the re-sell.
Our anonymous seller then lists seemingly every scrap of matter on his property. Here’s his inventory of the laundry room:
Washer and gas dryer, random detergents, a half a box of oxy clean, lots of coat hangers, shelving, and dust bunnies.
Finally, our man in Hiram strays into TMI territory, listing the stuff he plans to keep:
- My cat — because she loves me and I her
- My trophies and plaques, a DVD player my Dad gave me, my mother’s cedar chest, my fraternity paddle, etc.
… describing alternative forms of payment:
I will consider trading for the perfect woman, she must be petite, have red hair, love me, guns, kitty cats and most importantly Jesus. Must not be selfish, greedy, or shallow, and must understand if I trade all my worldly possession for her I will be bankrupt.
… and, finally, explaining his personal motivations:
Many people ask me why I am doing this. I do have a nice middle class house a fairly new car and lots of stuff. Simply put: I want to be free of all obligations and start over somewhere else. maybe I will drie my jeep cross country fall in love with a waitress at a diner and lay down roots there, or maybe I will move to Costa Rica and work for a sports outfitter or tour guide, I don’t know, I do know that God will take care of me.
Please note: I don’t HAVE to sell everything I own, I WANT to. I am in decent financial shape, and can cover all my financial obligations right now, so don’t email me and offer a low ball, your email will be deleted. teh true beauty of this auction is that If everything doesn’t sell i will just continue on with my relatively comfortable life the way it is.
It’s the longest craigslist ad I’ve ever seen and makes for some entertaining reading. If you want the assurance that comes with using PayPal, you can also shop via eBay.
The asking price for this little slice of Hiram is a low, low $198,000.
Oh, and doofuses need not reply.
Leave a Reply