The Blotter
Friday, August 21st, 2009
FANCY WINE BROUHAHA: A man with a blondish mohawk and a 20-year-old woman walked into a grocery store on Piedmont Avenue. Store employees say the man went to the wine section and grabbed a $130 bottle of wine. He reportedly handed the wine to the woman and she went to the customer service desk and tried to fraudulently return the wine. Employees told the woman that she couldn’t return the wine — so she left the bottle at the customer service desk. At the same time, employees were quizzing the man about the wine. “Kroger employees ran after [the man] saying they had been robbed,” an officer wrote. The man and woman hopped into a Ford Ranger and drove away. As police arrived, nearby citizens said the Ford Ranger had smashed through a garage security gate at a Buckhead condominium on Peachtree Street.
So police went to the condo building. A woman there said the couple ditched the car and ran into the condo building. She said the man wore black nylon shorts and a black T-shirt and the woman wore a white T-shirt and brown pants.
Police surrounded the condo building and eventually the woman walked out. An officer found the man hiding in the lobby stairwell. “They had exchanged clothing and [the man] had cut all his hair off,” an officer wrote. During a police interview, the couple admitted they went to the grocery store to fraudulently return stuff for money. They also said they had exchanged clothes while they were inside an elevator at the condominium building. An officer wrote, The man also admitted, “he knocked on a resident’s door and asked for a pair of scissors and cut his hair.”
The man and woman went to jail on numerous charges.
(Illustration by Tray Butler)
I’ve seen pictures of Pangaea, the giant land mass that eventually separated into the continents we know today. But why were the continents smushed together like that in the first place? What made the land higher on that one side of the earth? Were there other continents we can no longer account for? Is it related to the asteroid that may or may not have smashed into Earth and helped form the moon?
CATNAP? On Pharr Road, a woman called police to report her cat missing. An officer arrived. The woman said she “has not seen her cat in several days and believes that one of her neighbors inside her apartment complex has kidnapped the cat,” the officer wrote. Also, the woman said the same neighbor confronted her and said she knew the woman has “herperies,” the officer wrote. The woman said she didn’t know how her neighbor could know that information about her. The woman “stated that she previous left her personal phone books outside her apartment on her patio, which is an open area next to a bus stop near [her] apartment,” the officer wrote. “[She] stated she found a small knife laying on her patio table when she returned to pickup her telephone book. When I inquired about the knife, [the woman] got the knife from her kitchen drawer and showed the knife to me.” The woman said she thinks her neighbor has it out for her. The officer couldn’t locate the suspected neighbor. The woman insisted on filing a police report.
Superman is able to use his super strength to squeeze coal into diamonds. Theoretically, if someone had unlimited strength in real life, would it be possible to do this?
CRANKY MOMMA: A police officer responded to a call about a dispute on Pineview Terrace. “This was the fifth time since [2:30 p.m.] I had responded to this address regarding this caller and the ninth time since 10 a.m. the suspect had called 911,” the officer noted.
What’s the final word about Y2K? We were told this was a serious problem, and that huge dollars and man-hours were needed to head off trouble. Why didn’t the sky fall, as predicted? Were the dollars spent before January 1, 2000, well spent or not? The date change seemed seamless to a layman. Was this because we headed off most of the trouble before it happened, or because it wasn’t as serious as predicted?
There’s an old saw about God protecting drunks and fools. I’m particularly interested in the drunks part. Almost nightly, it seems, we hear on the news that a drunk driver killed one or more people in another car but the drunk survived, sometimes without injury. A family member suggested drunks are saved because they’ve passed out and are more relaxed, but I’m skeptical. Is it just the crashes where the drunk walks away after killing another that make the news? 
I recently read a speech by Noam Chomsky in which he says that during the Vietnam War, “soldiers were fragging officers.” I, a man too young to have served in that conflict, have heard this before but thought it was just a rumor. Can you shed some light on this dark matter?
WISHFUL THINKING: An officer saw a man on the Freedom Parkway ramp to I-75/85. The man reportedly was walking back and forth, asking for money from drivers. Apparently, as the officer circled around, the man moved to the Ellis Street ramp. “[He] had previously fled from me into the Auburn Avenue area, so I snuck up behind him and took him into custody without incident,” the officer wrote. “[The man] said I must be following him and that his uncle in the FBI was watching traffic cameras in the area, so once Mayor Shirley Franklin was fired for ‘taking that money’ all the police would be fired and they would close the jail.” The officer arrested the 49-year-old man and he “was transported to jail, which remains open.”
In his book Collapse, Jared Diamond claims, “When NASA wanted to find some place on Earth resembling the surface of the Moon, so that our astronauts preparing for the first moon landing could practice in an environment similar to what they would encounter, NASA picked a formerly green area of Iceland that is now utterly barren.” This struck me as wrong. Growing up, I heard the slag fields around Sudbury, Ontario, helped get the lunar astronauts accustomed to the moon’s desolation. I’ve heard similar things about islands in the Canadian arctic and deserts in the American southwest. I can’t see NASA hauling astronauts around the world just to look at places without trees. I wonder if the real explanation is that the astronauts had to take geology lessons. True?
BIG DAY WITH BJ: A man said he and his wife were kidnapped at gunpoint one morning — and they were forced to get in a blue van and held in Piedmont Park until almost 11 p.m., when the man escaped. He said the kidnappers still had his wife — and he was able to escape because the alleged kidnappers, BJ and another guy, slapped him and got distracted when a police car drove by.
