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(Scene: U.S. Senate Democratic nominee Jim Martin’s Atlanta residence. Martin is enjoying the most recent issue of Adbusters, relaxing with a pipe and a tumbler of Fanta. There is a knock at the door.)

Martin: Who goes there?

(Voice outside): It’s the Sax-man.

(Martin stands up, walks to the door. U.S. Sen. Saxby Chambliss enters before Martin can let him in.)

Chambliss: Hey, buddy. Wanted to come by and let you know I’ve been endorsed by 100 Democrats in Georgia. Mostly county commissioners in a lot of rural areas of the state, spots that don’t have the Internet so they can’t read about this, this or this. Some sheriffs, too. They’ve called themselves “Democrats for Saxby.” Oh, and Zell’s one of them.

Martin: Miller?

Chambliss: Yeah, Zell Miller. I got him to write me a letter and stuff.

Martin (confused): Well, OK. (looks around) Would you like some Fanta or something?

Chambliss: No thanks. Stuff tastes like piss. I’m going to go and raise some money. What are you up to?

Martin: Eh, just watchin’ the convention.

Chambliss: Well, have fun.

(End scene)

That’s what runs through my head when I receive press releases like the following from the Chambliss campaign.

(Nelson Muntz courtesy of TrashMenagerie)

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AJC.com published a really interesting story today about an Atlanta cop who recently learned she is intersex, meaning she appeared to have the anatomy of a girl at birth and later developed “external sexual anatomy that appears to be a blend of a man’s and woman’s.”

Genetic testing conducted earlier this year showed that the officer, Darlene Harris, carries the XY chromosomes of a male.

Sounds very close to the plot line of Jeffrey Eugenides’ 2002 Pulitzer-winning novel, Middlesex. Eugenides’ intersex protagonist, Calliope, has 5-alpha-reductase deficiency — which, judging from its Wikipedia entry, closely approximates to Harris’ condition.

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The Masters of Pavement will be resurfacing southbound lanes of I-75/85 this weekend — one of the busiest holiday weekends of the year — and we’re doing our part to tell you to stay the hell away from the asphalt prison during the project. Don’t go near it. If you’re in Marietta and need to get down to Clayton County for some reason, take I-285.

Why? At 9 p.m. on Friday, the DOT will close all but two lanes on I-85 southbound near its merge with I-75. At that same merge, I-75 will be reduced to one lane. Few lanes for a lot of people. The road work will continue until Tuesday morning.

Avoid, avoid, avoid. Take public transit to the many planned festivities this weekend or I-285 if you do have to get behind the wheel.

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Bad times down in Tyrone, a little town in Fayette County, as revenues have fallen way below the cost of keeping potholes filled and cops on the street.

But, are you serious?

The Police Department, hit with a July fuel bill of $9,000, nearly double the average bill, has changed shifts to reduce police vehicle use.

Officers also will use a golf cart recently bought with confiscated drug funds.

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From Politico.com:

In an interview just a month ago, [Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin] dissed the job, saying it didn’t seem “productive.”

In fact, she said she doesn’t know what the vice president does.

…

Larry Kudlow of CNBC’s “Kudlow & Co.” asked her about the possibility of becoming McCain’s ticket mate.
Palin replied: “As for that VP talk all the time, I’ll tell you, I still can’t answer that question until somebody answers for me what is it exactly that the VP does every day? I’m used to being very productive and working real hard in an administration. We want to make sure that that VP slot would be a fruitful type of position, especially for Alaskans and for the things that we’re trying to accomplish up here for the rest of the U.S., before I can even start addressing that question.”

I guess John McCain explicitly stated what he wants his vice president to do.

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AJC conservo-columnist Jim Wooten writes of John McCain’s choice of VP: “Pinch me. Yes!”

Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin, whom Wooten applauds for not having aborted her Downs syndrome baby born earlier this year, is sure to strike a chord in a certain demographic. Finally, a candidate Cobb County soccer MILFs can rally around.

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MCCAIN: Picks Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin as his running mate. He’ll introduce her in Dayton, Ohio today.

ROCKY MOUNTAIN HIGH: Barack Obama accepts the Democratic nomination for president in Denver with a speech CNN analyst David Gergen calls a “political masterpiece.”

CLAYTON: School system loses accreditation, but can get it back at any point during the next school year if it can meet the SACS mandates. Superintendent John Thompson plans to appeal the SACS decision.

GUSTAV: Bearing down on Cuba as it becomes a hurricane, with a Tuesday landfall in Louisiana expected.

LANIER: The U.S. Army Corps of Engineers has slowed flows from the lake because tributaries and reservoirs south of Buford Dam were replenished by Fay.

UGA VII: The new mascot will be announced today and debuted tomorrow when Georgia hosts Georgia Southern in Athens.

RAMBLIN’ WRACK: Fay pushed excessive wrack, or decomposing seaweed that’s naturally washed ashore, beyond normal high tide in coastal Georgia, and it’s filled with trash.

RAMBLIN’ WRECK: Tech beats Jacksonville State 41-14 to open the season.

MEDAL OF SCIENCE: The nation’s highest science award will be given to Georgia Tech chemistry professor Mostafa El-Sayed, who’s working to treat cancer with cylindrical gold nanorods and lasers.

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The ballots are in, but the polls haven’t closed! We know you are anxiously anticipating the results to drop on Sept. 24, so until then, take our Best of Atlanta poll to tide you over. Keep checking back to CLFreshLoaf.com, where you can take a new poll every few days. After picking your fave, leave a comment with your e-mail address to win a free CL Best of Atlanta T-shirt — while supplies last!

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Adios!

Per the suggestion of an administrative law judge who said four members of the Clayton County school board violated their duties under law, Gov. Sonny Perdue today removed Michelle Strong, Louise Baines-Hunter, Yolonda Everett and Sandra Scott from their posts. All nine school board members who were on the board when the Southern Association of Colleges and Schools began their investigation — and whose actions were considered the primary cause of the accreditation fiasco — have since been removed.

“The fate of the Clayton County School System is now in the hands of the voters,” Perdue said in a statement. “Through the elections to replace these four board members, they can send a clear signal that the kind of behavior that has led to this ruling and the system’s loss of accreditation will not be tolerated. We can hope that this marks a new day for Clayton County, a time in which rebuilding can begin.”

More to come. Until then, view Perdue’s full release after the jump.

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One of the other less-publicized fights amidst all the November election brouhaha has been between Georgia Secretary of State Karen Handel and Michelle Conlon, an independent candidate for state House District 80. In late July, the secretary threw out a petition Conlon circulated to be considered eligible to face Rep. Mike Jacobs, R-DeKalb, the incumbent. Conlon then appealed Handel’s decision in Fulton County Superior Court.

And now, according to her press release, she’s won. You’ll see her name on the ballot come November against Jacobs.

From a campaign release:

Michelle Conlon, Candidate for House District 80, has prevailed in her lawsuit to compel the Secretary of State to place Ms. Conlon on the ballot in November.

“This is exciting news not only for me but for the voters in the district who deserve a choice on the ballot. I am looking forward to moving past this distraction,” said Conlon.

…“It is unfortunate that it took a lawsuit to get the Secretary of State to abide by her statutory responsibility to review the petition, but we are pleased with the result,” said Ms. Conlon. “I look forward to campaigning on the issues that matter to residents of House District 80.”

Conlon will be listed on the ballot as an Independent Candidate; however, she plans to officially announce her victory at an Obama Acceptance Speech event Thursday evening at Galla’s Pizza. Conlon hopes her message will appeal to Democrats, Republicans and Independents alike.

“Mike Jacobs needs to be fired. This is not the guy we elected. And he has not given us the representation that we were promised. He switched parties’ mid-term, voted for predatory lending, to cut public education funds and for guns on MARTA. When your representative cannot decide who he is or want he wants, he is ineffective in representing you,” said Conlon.

Now that she is on the ballot, Conlon is optimistic regarding her chances in November. She notes: “More people signed my petition than voted for my opponent in his July Primary.”

Click here to visit her campaign website. The full release from the Conlon campaign is pasted after the jump.

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If Clayton County Schools wants to regain its accreditation status, it’ll have to jump through a lot of hoops. The Southern Association of Colleges and Schools, the accrediting agency that stripped the system of its status this morning, released several documents related to the decision. I’m posting them below. The first is a 20-page report outlining the events leading up to the unfortunate news. The second file is from a press conference held today by the agency.

Click here to download the 20-page report from SACS.

Click here to download the press conference fact sheet.

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Yes, Congressman John Lewis will say some words, and there’ll be that big speech thingy, but what about this?

From CSPAN’s schedule of tonight’s events in Denver:

Now that convinced me to tune in.

If you don’t know the King of Yacht Rock, you’re missing out:

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UPDATE: We normally don’t correct quoted sources, but I’ve done such to the copy below because of Todd’s comment.

Says the AJC’s Megan Matteucci:

The 50,000-student school system is the first in the nation to lose accreditation since 1969, the Southern Association of Colleges and Schools announced today.

…

Qualifying Clayton students will still be able to get their HOPE scholarships. Earlier this year, Gov. Sonny Perdue signed a bill allowing graduates of unaccredited schools to get HOPE.

Without accreditation, Clayton will also lose pre-kindergarten funding and some teacher benefits. The county also expects more students to flee. About 2,000 students have already left, superintendent John Thompson said.

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OBAMA: Officially becomes the Democratic nominee for president, the first black person ever nominated by a major party. He’ll give his acceptance speech tonight.

MCCAIN: Has picked his running mate, whom he’ll inform of his decision today and introduce Friday in Ohio.

UNDERDRIVE: As gas prices and environmental worries have driven down driving, highways and other transportation projects, including commuter rail, have lost a major source of funding — gas taxes.

CLAYTON IS THE HARDEST PART: SACS will announce its accreditation decison at a 1 p.m. press conference today. [UPDATE: Accreditation lost.] Meanwhile, a state judge has recommended that Gov. Perdue remove four Clayton school board members from office for violating Georgia’s open-meetings laws and ethics code. 

FREE REFILL: Fay has now added two feet back to Lake Lanier, as rainwater continues to move downhill through the basin. It’s still 15 feet below full pool, but that one storm has made up for the month of August so far, which has been especially dry.

FUNNEL VISION: The National Weather Service says up to four tornadoes may have touched down in Hall County as Fay passed through.

OUR DEERLY DEPARTED: Rome’s world-famous six-legged deer died last week after surgery to remove his two unnecessary legs.

PAUL JOHNSON: The New York Times