Fresh Loaf

There’s the great story where Ted Turner, not long after he purchased the Atlanta Braves, told Skip Caray to lay off criticizing the team from the television booth. Skip’s response to Turner was something like, “Have you looked at the standings lately?” To which Turner said, “Good point.” And he never tried to temper Skip again.

Like any long-time Braves fan of a certain age, I grew up listening to Skip Caray. First, through the crackle of AM radio and then on TBS. Skip was often a curmudgeon in the booth, but he did it with wit and a basic honesty that was endearing. During the Pistol Pete Maravich era, he called the Atlanta Hawks games and was always especially cynical. But, as with the Braves, Skip’s call of the game was often the only reason to stay tuned in.

When I started covering the Braves for Atlanta magazine 10 years ago, I got to see Skip around the press box and in the dugout, where he’d often hold court. He wasn’t the friendliest person to strangers (remember how he’d go off on people who called his pre-game radio show with inane questions), but I did get the chance to talk baseball with him a few times.

One night I was at a game and my father called. He was listening to the game, and Skip had just spent air-time talking about one of my stories and recommending it to his listeners. It wasn’t even a sports story.

I’ll always believe that was the moment I’d “arrived” in my father’s eyes, because Skip Carey had given me his blessing.
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At one point, Ashley Harkleroad — who hails from Rossville in North Georgia — was hyped as the next Anna Kournikova in women’s tennis, except she was supposed to have game. She was the singles runner-up in the juniors division at the 2002 Roland Garros (the French Open) and won the junior doubles at Roland Garros that year.

But she has faltered as a pro, reaching a high of 39 in the world in 2003. Currently, she’s ranked 61.

Now, Harkleroad is going to go Kournikova one better: After taking a 6-2 6-1 drubbing at the hands of Serena Williams at the French Open on Sunday, Harkleroad announced she has posed nude for Playboy and will be featured in the August issue.

It seems unbecoming and desperate for a professional tennis player to make her statement by posing for Playboy instead of on the courts. It also seems symptomatic of a tennis career that never reached its potential.

Harkleroad told reporters in Paris that she’s proud of her body. “I’ll be the first tennis player ever,” she said. “That’s kind of cool.”

It’s kind of sad, actually.

To read Serena Williams’ bemused reaction, click here.

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When Hawks point guard Mike Bibby called the large crowds in Boston “fair-weather fans” early in the first-round playoff series between the Hawks and Celtics, the comment elicited umbrage from Bostonians, as well as an obvious response: “What, as opposed to Hawks fans?”

Atlanta sports fans aren’t exactly renowned for passion or dedication. Braves fans are jaded by the years of restrained success, and Falcons fans are understandably bitter about their team’s fits and starts.

And Hawks fans? For much of the last 20 years, they’ve mostly just stayed home – more no-weather than fair-weather.

But that’s changed during the last seven days. The last three games at Philips Arena, culminating in Friday night’s largest crowd in venue history, have been a coming-out party for a city that’s been wanting to like its basketball team for years. The young Hawks needed a pumped-up crowd to win, and the wary crowd needed an exciting Hawks team to get pumped up about. The stars are currently in alignment.

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Almost lost in the spotlight that’s on Roger Clemens and his alleged steroid use is the news that John Rocker has admitted what the Mitchell report claimed: The former Braves closer took steroids and failed a drug test in 2000, his last full season with the Braves.

Not only that, but Rocker estimated that “between 40 to 50 percent of baseball players are on steroids” and added that “in 2000 Bud Selig knew John Rocker was taking the juice.”

I was around the Atlanta Braves clubhouse a lot during the Rocker era, and will always remember the huge poster of WCW wrestler Bill Goldberg hanging in Rocker’s locker, shirt off and muscles bulging.

And former Braves pitching coach Leo Mazzone told me once that Rocker was so muscular that if pitched past one inning, he’d have to lie down on the floor and have someone stretch his back to make him limber enough to go out for a second inning.

It also goes a long way in explaining the behavior that caused his career to implode. Rocker always seemed “juiced” when he pitched, in a figurative sense. This admission brings new meaning to the word in literal terms.

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Seeing as how the New York Giants completely shut down the New England Patriots’ offensive juggernaut last night, I wonder if there’s any regret up in Flowery Branch that the Falcons decided not to wait until after the Super Bowl to select a new head coach.

After all, the front-runner for the Falcons job at one time was the man who devised the strategy for the Giants defense: defensive coordinator Steve Spagnuolo.

Rather than postpone a decision until after the Super Bowl so they could interview Spagnuolo, the Falcons moved ahead and hired Mike Smith from the Jacksonville Jaguars.

Spagnuolo sure looks like hot property now. Just sayin’.

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A federal judge ruled today that former Atlanta Falcons quarterback Michael Vick is entitled to most of the $20 million in bonus money that he was paid by the team prior to his imprisonment on dogfighting convictions.

A special master had ruled in October that Vick had to return all the money to the Falcons. The NFL player’s union appealed that decision and U.S. District Judge David Doty of Minneapolis ruled that returning the money would violate the league’s collective bargaining agreement. He ruled that the league can only recoup bonus money, and only $3.75 million of the Vick money came from a signing bonus.

While the Falcons try to breathe life into their franchise, Vick remains in federal prison in Leavenworth, Kan. No word on whether he was able to watch the Super Bowl.

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I hope for the day when the lightbulb finally goes off over Arthur Blank’s head: Running an NFL franchise bears absolutely no resemblance to running Home Depot.

Until then, we’re assured of more episodes of the Falcon Follies as the franchise falls deeper and deeper into chaos.

A few points:

— Blank announced that he wants to hire a general manager, and let the new GM hire a coach. Why then is Blank going around interviewing just about every warm body in the NFL for the Falcons head coaching job?

— What does Blank even know about hiring a professional football coach? After being burned by one former college coach who high-tailed it off to Arkansas with three games left in the season, what does Blank do? He starts to court Pete Carroll, another college coach. Sure, Carroll has NFL experience. But has anyone checked his record as an NFL coach? It’s 34-33. That speaks for itself.

— Rather than hire someone who knows professional football to run the franchise, Blank seems determined to have his hand in every aspect of the team. What potential GM or head coach is going to want to come to a team where the owner is constantly looking over his shoulders?

It’s like hiring Guenter Seeger as your personal chef, then trying to tell him how to cook a soufflé. Arthur, please stay out of the kitchen.

ESPN.com is reporting that Carroll has already decided to decline a job interview with Blank. Can anyone blame him? Is any legitimate candidate going to want to walk into the kind of dysfunction that exists at Flowery Branch?

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The San Diego Union-Tribune reports today that the Bill Parcells-spurned Atlanta Falcons have made overtures to former San Diego Chargers head coach Marty Schottenheimer and to assistant Chargers GM Buddy Nix.

Known as a no-nonsense coach, Schottenheimer was the NFL Coach of the Year in 2004 and in the fickle manner of pro football, fired two years later after conflicts with the Chargers general manager. He also infamously played quarterback Drew Brees in a meaningless final game in 2005 that resulted in a shoulder injury that almost devastated Brees’ career.

Nix, according to the paper, is being eyed as the new general manager for the Falcons. Nix joined the team in 2001 just in time for the Chargers to pull off the best trade in San Diego history: the first overall draft pick in the 2001 draft to the Falcons. The Birds picked Michael Vick; the Chargers used the Falcons’ draft pick to select a running back you might have heard of: LaDainian Tomlinson.

For the Falcons, the wheels keep spinning. Bill Cowher turned them down. Bill Parcells used them to leverage a deal in Miami. Schottenheimer is known for turning losing teams into winners. He also tends to stick around a while, something a couple of previous Falcons head coaches weren’t, uh, known for.

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Twenty years ago today, the Falcons were in dire straits. They wanted a big name. They wanted someone to come in and turn the franchise around.

Bill Parcells, who was then the Super Bowl-winning coach of the New York Giants dispatched his agent to talk to the Falcons ownership. They talked, he seemed on his way and then the deal fell apart because he was still under contract to the Giants.

After telling reporters last night that he was probably going to take a job directing the football operations of the Falcons, today Parcells backed out again.

How many hits can one franchise take? In the space of 10 days the team’s star quarterback was sentenced to federal prison for almost two years, the owner went on “Monday Night Football” talking up the future with the new head coach, and then said head coach quits the very next day and goes to Arkansas.

No one’s talking yet about what happened but, obviously, something happened today in Parcell’s meeting with team owner Arthur Blank to change his mind.

The Falcons have historically been a franchise enamored with futility. But this goes beyond the pale.

The Big Tuna just left a big stink in the city of Atlanta.

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Bobby Petrino dumped Atlanta.

Getting dumped sucks.

Atlanta felt badly, lashed out, and bad-mouthed Petrino to anyone who’d listen.

Now Atlanta has apparently started a relationship with one of modern pro football’s most successful coaches — a relationship that might not have been possible had Petrino not dumped Atlanta when he did.

The end of a bad relationship is a good thing. If Atlanta’s better off, and Petrino’s better off, the only reason for lingering hard feelings is unhealthy egotism.

I think Atlanta should write Petrino a nice note apologizing for all the mean things it said.

Bobby Petrino
University of Arkansas
P.O. Box 7777
Fayetteville, AR 72702

Perhaps the following video clip will put you in the right mood:

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Bill Parcells, the former head coach who is certainly headed to the Pro Football Hall of Fame, tells the New York Daily News that he is on the verge of accepting a job with the Atlanta Falcons as the director of football operations.

“I’m going to oversee the football operation,” Parcells told the paper. “I’m going to hire a general manager if the deal is finalized in Atlanta. We are going to hire a coach and talk to all the coaches who are there. It’s going to be a collective effort. The triangle is going to be the GM, the coach and Bill Parcells.”

Notice one significant name missing from that equation: Arthur Blank.

Does Blank finally “get it”?

Last week, I wrote that the Falcons will continue to struggle so long as Blank thinks he can run the football operation. Running an NFL franchise is not the equivalent of running Home Depot. And remember that Bobby Petrino complained about Blank’s interference. It’s obvious that Blank must follow the lead of Ted Turner when he owned the Braves: Hire someone who knows football to run things, then show up to accept the applause and the trophies. But leave the team to someone who knows what the hell he’s doing.

Parcells is that guy. And if he can handle Jerry Jones in Dallas, he can certainly handle Arthur Blank.

So the Big Tuna is coming to Atlanta. Maybe Bobby Petrino did us all a big favor, after all.

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The NFL has fined five Falcon players who showed support for fallen former quarterback Michael Vick last Sunday. Of course, they didn’t show enough support to actually win one for the Vicker. They only adjusted their uniform to “honor” Vick. Wide receiver Roddy White, for example, wore a “Free Mike Vick” T-shirt under his uniform. And DeAngelo Hall ran out onto the field holding a Vick poster.

The Nation of Islam Sportsblog has its own take on the situation:

… what got back to Vick (from the NFL) is clear:

You are dead to us.

‘Free Mike Vick’?

No.

Mike Vick has been in chains from the first day he put on shoulder pads.

And this well intentioned, though poorly thought out maneuvre by the Falcon players only further tightened the shackles around their own wrists.

If I’m going to be chained, a $130 million contract would most definitely help alleviate my mental anguish. Hell, I might volunteer to be chained for half that much money. But only if they let me wear shoulder pads.

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In today’s Birmingham News, the agent for former Falcons head coach Bobby Petrino doesn’t paint a pretty picture of their perspective on what led to Petrino’s sudden and stunning departure from Atlanta.

Russ Campbell says that Falcons owner Arthur Blank broke two promises to Petrino. First, Campbell says Blank agreed when he hired Petrino that the coach would be free to leave the Falcons to take a college job if he decided he didn’t want to coach in the pros.

Second, he says Blank promised Petrino that he wouldn’t mess in the coach’s business.

“One of the main issues,” Campbell told the News, “was the owner’s involvement in the football program.”

Blank assured Petrino a year ago that he would stay out of the way if that’s what the coach wanted, Campbell said, but “he’s in it up to his elbows.”

Campbell offered an example: After a pregame team prayer, Blank pulled Petrino aside and strongly objected to the prayer’s wording.

Yeah, just what a head coach wants to deal with before he takes his team out on the field. And Blank had dinner with the coach every Monday to talk about the previous Sunday’s game. Those probably weren’t very pleasant for Petrino, either.

In the wake of the Petrino debacle, Blank has indicated he plans to get even more involved in the team’s operation. One suspects/hopes that at some point Blank is going to learn the lesson Ted Turner eventually learned when he owned the Braves: that he didn’t know a damned thing about running a baseball organization. So he hired someone who did, and then stepped out of their way. All Ted did was provide the cash, soak up the applause and pick up the trophies.

Not a bad strategy.

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The reaction to Bobby Petrino’s quick decision to quit his job as head coach of the Atlanta Falcons in order to go hog-calling in Arkansas has drawn heated reaction on the Net. Some of the adjectives invoked include “weasel,” “jackass” and “rancid.”

Some samples:

“I was looking for a commitment from Bobby and having some exposure on behalf of the franchise Monday night,” Blank said of the face-to-face meeting. “[I] wanted to know, ‘Are you with us or not?’ I did press the question with him … Bobby extended his hand and said, ‘You can tell them you have a head coach.’”

— Arthur Blank, AJC.com

* * *

And so Blank, it seems, wasn’t the only one who misread Petrino. Unfortunately for Blank, whose good intentions and desire to win keep blowing up in his face, he’s the only one who hired him. Turns out that maybe Blank is better at finding people to manage the drywall department or to order hammers than he is at finding someone to manage his football team and bark orders at his players.

— Len Pasquarelli, ESPN.com

* * *

He ran the team with an aloof style, feeling no reason to share his decisions on personnel with the affected players. He could walk through the locker room without speaking to anyone and was openly criticized by two of the team’s stars, Pro Bowlers [DeAngelo] Hall and Alge Crumpler.

Quarterback Joey Harrington was noticeably perturbed a few weeks ago when, after leading the Falcons to two straight wins, he heard from the media that Petrino still considered injury prone Byron Leftwich the starter.

— Peter King, Sports Illustrated online

* * *

“This is the worst year I’ve ever had in football,” one veteran player said. “It’s just miserable. I think (Petrino) had a clue about offense, but he couldn’t communicate with anybody. You’d talk to him and it was almost as if he would stare at you and not get what you were talking about. He’s a strange guy.”

That player went even further, claiming that Atlanta owner Arthur Blank had told some of the veteran leaders on the team, including Crumpler and running back Warrick Dunn, that the team had made a mistake in hiring Petrino.

— Jason Cole, Yahoo Sports

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The Atlanta Falcons lined up for the team’s very first kickoff in the National Football League in 1966. And as the kicker ran up to kick, the wind knocked the football off the tee.

It turned out to be a symbolic start to what has become one of the NFL’s worst franchises. But as bad as the Falcons have been throughout their history, it’s never been as bad as it was this week.

In one 24-hour period, the Falcons:

• Saw their star quarterback sentenced to 23 months in federal prison;
• Lost by 20 points to a 5-7 team on “Monday Night Football”;
• Saw their head coach bolt like a rat jumping from a sinking ship, taking a pay cut to go back to a college job less than 24 hours after he had assured team owner Arthur Blank that he was here for the long haul.

Michael Vick’s arrest took the rudders off the Falcons franchise and what we’re seeing is not only the resulting free fall and crash, but the lowest point of a franchise with a history full of low moments.

It’s hard to feel bad for a billionaire, but today I want to find Arthur Blank and give him a hug.

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