Fresh Loaf

At an apartment complex on Piedmont Avenue, a security guard said a man with a handgun was threatening to shoot him. Several Atlanta police units arrived and arrested the man, age 36. The security guard said the man came into his apartment and threatened to shoot him if he didn’t tell the people above the man’s apartment to be quiet.

The reporting officer wrote, “I have had contact with [the man] in the past. During the last incident, [the man] complained that the people above his apartment were stalking him and had planted a computer chip into his head to conduct experiments on him. [The man] also stated President Bush raped him because they had an argument about Hurricane Katrina.”

Read more Blotter.

Items in the Blotter are taken from actual Atlanta police reports. The Blotter Diva compiles them and puts them into her own words.

Bookmark It

A 25-year-old man said he was leaving a Clark Atlanta football game when a man approached him. He said the man pulled out a machete and told him to give up his money. The 25-year-old said he fought with the Machete Man — and got cut several times on the forehead. Machete Man was unable to get any of the 25-year-old man’s stuff.

Read more Blotter.

Items in the Blotter are taken from actual Atlanta police reports. The Blotter Diva compiles them and puts them into her own words.

Bookmark It

At a dollar store on Campbellton Road, a clerk said a regular customer (a man in his late 30s) grabbed some items and tried to leave without paying. When confronted, the customer reportedly said he’d been coming to this store for years and felt he shouldn’t have to pay for the items. He loaded up his Pontiac and drove away, the clerk said. Police searched the area but couldn’t find the suspect.

Read more Blotter.

Items in the Blotter are taken from actual Atlanta police reports. The Blotter Diva compiles them and puts them into her own words.

Bookmark It

A man said he was in his house on Sims Street around 12:30 a.m., when another man kicked in his back door. The man reportedly apologized and said he had the wrong house. The man, who wore a net cap, fled before police arrived. The damage to the back door is about $200.

Read more Blotter.

Items in the Blotter are taken from actual Atlanta police reports. The Blotter Diva compiles them and puts them into her own words.

Bookmark It

At a check-cashing business on Forsyth Street, a clerk said a man came in to cash a Georgia Department of Corrections resident account check for $11,584.79. The clerk said she went to the safe to get $10,000, but got $20,000 without realizing it. She said she gave the man $20,000, plus an additional $1,237.25. (Total: $21,237.25. For those of you who despise math: If she hadn’t given him the extra $10,000, the total would have been $11,237.25 — thus shorting him $347.54. Either way, her math skills appear seriously flawed.) The clerk said she didn’t realize she gave away the extra money until she counted the money in the safe later. (The Blotter Diva says: Could this woman pleeeeeaaaaaase get a job at my bank?)

Read more Blotter.

Items in the Blotter are taken from actual Atlanta police reports. The Blotter Diva compiles them and puts them into her own words.

Bookmark It

A man called Circuit City on Carmia Drive and said someone put a radio in his car and he was fucking mad about it, according to a store employee. She said she offered to get a manager to help the man, but he said he didn’t want a fucking manager and hung up. Then, the man called back and asked for the employee’s name, and she gave it to him. Then, he said he was going to bring his gun and bomb to shoot her and everyone else, and then he hung up, she said. The man called again and said he was now in the parking lot in his Escalade with the bomb, she reported. An officer arrived and found all the store employees in the parking lot. The officer checked the store and waited in the parking lot until the workers left. No sign of the man.

Read more Blotter.

Items in the Blotter are taken from actual Atlanta police reports. The Blotter Diva compiles them and puts them into her own words.

Bookmark It

At a hospital on Peachtree Street, a 25-year-old man said he left a money clip in his lab-coat pocket, which he hung in the hallway outside the operating room. Then, he said, he went into the operating room to perform surgery. He said when he emerged, the money clip was gone. He said his money clip contained an ATM card, two credit cards, about $8 in cash, and an expired health insurance card. (The Blotter Diva’s questions are many: First, why is a 25-year-old performing surgery? Doesn’t medical school take four years? Aren’t surgeons required to do long residencies before they start carving? And seriously, a surgeon toting around an expired health insurance card? C’mon.)

Read more Blotter.

Items in the Blotter are taken from actual Atlanta police reports. The Blotter Diva compiles them and puts them into her own words.

Bookmark It

Around 5 p.m., an officer saw a man dancing in the street on Northside Drive. Several concerned citizens had called police about this alleged dancing maniac. The officer noticed that the man smelled like booze, and his speech was slurred. He was charged with “pedestrian in roadway” and taken to jail. The man, age 51, wore an orange shirt.

Read more Blotter.

Items in the Blotter are taken from actual Atlanta police reports. The Blotter Diva compiles them and puts them into her own words.

Bookmark It

On Morehouse Drive, a 67-year-old man said someone stole his Social Security check for $563 from his mailbox. He suspects his son stole it. Why? Because the returned check lists his son’s date of birth — and a signature that doesn’t resemble the father’s signature. The son is 48 years old.

Read more Blotter.

Items in the Blotter are taken from actual Atlanta police reports. The Blotter Diva compiles them and puts them into her own words.

Bookmark It

A Habitat for Humanity employee said someone stole the electrical wiring from a Habitat for Humanity home under construction on Lindsey Street. He said the perpetrator got in by removing some plywood from a side door. Total value of stolen wire/labor: $1,100.

Read more Blotter.

Items in the Blotter are taken from actual Atlanta police reports. The Blotter Diva compiles them and puts them into her own words.

Bookmark It

A 30-year-old woman on Pine Street flagged down an officer. She said a middle-aged woman was lying on her suitcase, which was just stolen out of her Jeep. When the officer approached, the middle-aged woman sat up and said a friend named “Teardrop” gave the suitcase to her and walked away. The officer could not find this “Teardrop” person. The 30-year-old woman looked through her suitcase and noted that some of her stuff was gone (a toolbox, some clothes and a laptop computer). The middle-aged woman was arrested for receiving stolen property.

Read more Blotter.

Items in the Blotter are taken from actual Atlanta police reports. The Blotter Diva compiles them and puts them into her own words.

Bookmark It

A 39-year-old man walked into a police precinct and said he was part of a federal investigation involving a murder in Louisiana. He said about 20 cars followed him for about two hours. He said he called police while he was being followed — but there were no records of that call. The man gave the contact number of an FBI agent he knew. The FBI agent said the man’s life may be in danger, and he was in the FBI office a month ago and was thrown out. The FBI agent said the FBI does believe his friends are involved in two to three murders. The agent said the man also has a crystal meth habit. The man asked for a police report, and police agreed and told him to go to the front office to get a reference number — but he never showed up there.

Read more Blotter.

Items in the Blotter are taken from actual Atlanta police reports. The Blotter Diva compiles them and puts them into her own words.

Bookmark It

A couple got into a spat on Whitefoord Avenue. Both the man and woman had spilled coffee on their clothes. The woman said she’s been the man’s girlfriend for five years, and she stays at his house occasionally. She said her boyfriend threw her clothes into a trash can that was full of maggots. She said the argument escalated, and her boyfriend hit her head with a coffee cup. (She had a visible injury to her forehead, the officer noted.)

The boyfriend’s side of the story: He said she tried to enter his house without permission, and she is not supposed to be on his property. He said she was drunk, so he decided to sober her up with a cup of coffee. He said when he held out the coffee cup, she intentionally hit his hand and the coffee cup flew up and hit her forehead. Both the man, age 41, and the woman, age 44, were arrested for domestic violence. They went to jail.

Read more Blotter.

Items in the Blotter are taken from actual Atlanta police reports. The Blotter Diva compiles them and puts them into her own words.

Bookmark It

On Peachtree Center Avenue, a hotel employee said a man was taking a bath in the hotel pool one morning. She said she asked the bathing man to leave, but he refused. Turns out this same bathing man had received a trespassing warning at this same hotel once before. This time, he was arrested and went to jail. (The Blotter Diva must again note the same trend: You get away with the allegedly illegal act the first time, so of course you believe you won’t be punished the second time. This kind of thinking has ended marriages, political careers and heck, even empires.)

Read more Blotter.

Items in the Blotter are taken from actual Atlanta police reports. The Blotter Diva compiles them and puts them into her own words.

Bookmark It

At a food mart on Oakland Drive, a clerk said a man picked up a juice drink worth 25 cents — and left the store without paying. According to the clerk, this man returned to the store and stole a pack of Now and Laters, worth 10 cents. This time, the clerk called police. Total cost of items allegedly stolen: 35 cents. (The Blotter Diva simply doesn’t understand this trend among alleged thieves. If you successfully rob a store the first time, why go back? People might let you slide once, but rarely twice.) The suspect, age 37, was arrested for shoplifting. Again, 35 cents’ worth of stuff!

Read more Blotter.

Items in the Blotter are taken from actual Atlanta police reports. The Blotter Diva compiles them and puts them into her own words.

Bookmark It

A 25-year-old Marietta man called police to Donald Lee Hollowell Parkway about someone stealing stuff from his car … 24 days ago. The man said his 2002 Honda CR-V ran out of gas in this very spot, so he left the car on the side of the road and walked to get some gasoline. He said he did not lock his car doors before embarking on this little walk. When he returned, he discovered that his car had been broken into and the following items were gone: a Spider-Man play computer (worth $30), a bottle of cologne ($30), his cell phone and his wedding ring (worth $1,236). (The Blotter Diva says: Hold the bus right there. Who leaves his wedding ring in an unlocked car on the side of a road?) The man said his insurance company told him later that he needed a police report to be compensated.

Read more Blotter.

Items in the Blotter are taken from actual Atlanta police reports. The Blotter Diva compiles them and puts them into her own words.

Bookmark It

A 24-year-old woman said she went to a man’s house on North Olympian Way to return his hat. She said he wouldn’t take the hat from her and he jumped into her car. She said he tried to grab her keys from the ignition, and she tried to stop him. Then, she said, the man bit her back, near her shoulder. Then, she said, he grabbed her keys and threw them on the roof of the house next door. She said the man jumped into his car and left for a brief moment … and then returned. She said the man got back in her car and poured oil on the floor of her car. Then, she said, he got back in his own car and drove away.

Read more Blotter.

Items in the Blotter are taken from actual Atlanta police reports. The Blotter Diva compiles them and puts them into her own words.

Bookmark It