Fresh Loaf

Blogger ATLMalcontent is on a roll. In recent days, he’s written a great and pointy post on the Human Rights Campaign’s irrelevance, he’s thoughtfully jabbed at the President-elect Obama’s apparent courting of Sen. Hillary Clinton to be Secretary of State, and continued to jab at endlessly awful Sarah Palin.

To top it all off, he’s just introduced Sheldon Greenbriar, a new character that combines the sincere inanity of Larry King and the fake inanity Jackie Harvey.

Ex.

From the “you learn something new every day department”: Turns out Robert Wagner and Stefanie Powers aren’t married. As for Miss Powers, she’s still gorgeous!

AMAZING!

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Blogger ATLMalcontent’s “amazingly amazing” parody series, the blogosphere says what, returned this month from a short hibernation.

For those of you unfamiliar with it, the series began as a parody of another local blogger known for expressing his enthusiasm, indignation, and ennui — often within a single sentence.

Since its inception, however, the blogosphere says what’s parody has widened. It’s now a stand-alone parody of the hyper-political correctness, self-pity, and superficiality its author believes mar public discourse within the gay community.

Yesterday’s installment includes a conspiratorial complaint about Atlanta’s upcoming Pride festivities, anger at the late George Carlin, and a heart-warming announcement:

I have someone new and special in my life, Xander. He used to be Goofy at Disney World but didn’t like the politics of the Disney corporation. He says Time Warner, which owns Six Flags, is more gay-friendly, so he’s hoping to hook on as one of the Looney Tunes characters. He’s also part of the E.Q.U.A.L.I.T.Y. players, a theatrical troupe started by the amazing Harvey Fierstein. By the way, E.Q.U.A.L.I.T.Y stands for: Everyone Qualifies Under Affirmative Lifestyles Independent of Tyranny … Yentl!

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Fire the editor! Fire the publisher! Fire somebody! Hell, call a fucking exorcist over to Marietta Street at this point. There really should be an award given to this story for the hideous, patronizing writing “style.” From the AJC — apparently now hiring only the most ridiculous writers on the planet.

— Spacey at Mostly Media blasts the city’s only daily for running what she considers an unrevealing fluff piece about Michelle Obama’s former roommate at Princeton. AtlMalcontent praises the work, offering the notion that it’s more revealing than it appears.

It is becoming more and more clear that Shirley Franklin’s legacy, which once shined so bright, has turned to dust.

— Decaturguy at AtlantaPublicAffairs touches on the city’s continuing crime issue and says it may join sewer repairs and greenspace preservation as part of Mayor Shirley Franklin’s legacy.

On the campus of LaGrange College, Dr. Vernon pulled out his stethoscope, gave the nation a full physical, and diagnosed the U.S. of A with a cold.

“America has caught a cold, and it needs to get well,” the two-term DeKalb County CEO said.

— Andre at GeorgiaPoliticsUnfiltered writes about DeKalb County CEO Vernon Jones’ visit to LaGrange College and his chances for winning his U.S. Congressional campaign in a refreshingly diverse political climate.

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Yet the [Buckhead] library is a likely casualty of the ongoing movement to transform Buckhead into Alpharetta. Seems you can’t have enough mixed-use developments.

– ATLMalcontent has an excellent piece about Atlanta’s stagnant architecture scene posted at his wicked den of diatribes. He, like several others, bemoans the possible loss of the Buckhead Library.

I just don’t get it. We’ve got the Republican leadership wanting to raise taxes on 174 services, increase the sales tax and essentially nickel and dime us to death. Imagine being a small service business owner and having to deal with collecting taxes now. What a mess. I see NO focused opposition to this from the DPG, caucus or the county parties.

– sndeak at Tondee’s Tavern wonders why the Democratic Party of Georgia and local parties haven’t shown a little outrage and backbone over the outlandish tax hikes businesses and customers across the state would see with the More-Subpar-Than-GREAT tax plan, the mutated dungeon baby of House Speaker Glenn Richardson.

Even if you are not an avid biker looking to further personalize your dangerously cool lavender fixed-speed vintage bike, this will probably be a neat place to pick up tiny original works of art for your desk or elsewhere!

– Christa at Pecanne Log spreads the word about a call for art from Octane, a great coffee shop and office-away-from-the-office for one editor of a local alt-weekly. The java joint will auction off “spoke cards” April 12 to raise money for a bicycle-maintenance shop on a coffee farm in Rwanda.

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The Drake Diner stops breakfast at 11. A diner! Further proof Iowa sucks.

— Shebinator, one of two local bloggers I know of who was actually in Iowa last night. If there were others, please educate me.

Shelby’s feelings about Iowa might be colored by the fact that his favorite Democrat, Sen. Joseph Biden, dropped out of the race after his poor showing.

Or maybe Iowa just really, really sucks.

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The Clinton machine will do its best to slime Obama in the coming days, but — and I’ve been waiting to say this for years — their time has passed. The race is clearly defined now, and I don’t see voters opting for polarization over real change.

— ATLMalcontent on the perhaps fatally wounded candidacy of the senator he likes to call Hillbot.

Mr. Malcontent also lavished praise on Obama’s victory speech (which really was amazing), noting the similarities between Obama’s gift for rhetorical uplift and the late Sen. Robert F. Kennedy’s.

Sen. Clinton also evokes RFK’s memory, but not in the same way. Like RFK, Clinton is attempting to return her family to the White House via a carpetbagged New York Senate seat.

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It’s clear that the voters want change-now they have to look hard at Edwards and Obama and decide just what sort of change they really want.

— Amy Morton at Georgia Women Vote was in Iowa last night. As you might have gathered from the order in which the names appear, she’s an Edwards supporter.

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Therefore, I support Mike Huckabee because he wants to get the federal government out of my pocket by endorsing the “Fair Tax”.

— The Oracle of Winder, posting at BuzzBrockway.com, supports Mike Huckabee for no other reason, he says, than because Huckabee supports the national sales tax scheme known as the Fair Tax.

You may recall in September 2007 that Osama bin Laden released a video in which he called the U.S. tax system “insane” and bragged that, under Islamic law, Americans would not have to pay it.

Expect to see Huckabee/bin Laden ‘08 yard signs popping up in Winder any day now.

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Rush spent most of the program bashing Huckabee, like most conservative pundits have taken to doing.

— Peach Pundit commenter John Konop, posting the blog’s Iowa caucus open thread, notes the Republican punditocracy’s failure to drive a wedge between Huckabee and Republican voters.

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The stupid and superstitious have spoken - they said “Give us the televangelist. GIVE US THE HUCKLEBERRY!”

Yeehaw!

— Peach Pundit commenter GodHatesTrash in the same open thread.

If you haven’t guessed, Peach Pundit’s open thread on Iowa is great, great reading.

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So I get off work tonight at about 11:50 pm (I’ll explain later) and there’s all these text messages, phone message and email congratulating me.

– Buzz Brockway on the reaction to inclusion of one of his questions in last night’s CNN/YouTube debate. The question is linked on Buzz’s site.

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As was the case during the last bit of rain we got, Lake Lanier dropped even further yesterday in spite of the rain. In fact, since this blog started (October 16), the lake has dropped every single day.

– Atlanta Water Shortage answers the question “Did the rain help?”

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What is it about politicians from Hope, Ark.? They sure know how to work a room. Huckabee may be a Bible thumper, but he’s clever. And unlike that other Arkansas governor, I think he’s genuine. I just don’t want him to be president;

– ATLMalcontent offers conditional props to Huckabee.

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When the Genarlow Wilson decision came down, on that clear day of justice and rectitude, certain leaders in the Republican Party and their personal harpies in the media chose not quiet restraint but instead opted for fakery and obfuscation.

— GriftDrift gives Sen. Eric Johnson, and others like him, a piece of his mind.

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I am now listening intently, and I hope that we can curb any future instances of this egregious behavior. All my love… I miss you and hope you come out with something new for me soon.

Love you forever,
duane

— From “dear Cardigans,” Duane Moody’s open love letter to the Swedish pop band the Cardigans.

Also worth checking out, Duane’s paean to Guitar Hero III, which probably breaks some sort of blogging record for the most un-ironic exclamation marks typed by a grown man.

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Her perceived inevitably is particularly bothersome, as is the assumption that she’s the most experienced candidate (sorry Joe Biden, but a one-term senator who rode her husband’s cum-stained coattails to office is clearly more qualified than you).

— ATLMalcontent on Democratic presidential front-runner Sen. Hillary Clinton.

“Cum-stained coattails”?

Is that what they mean when they call him the “Comeback Kid”?

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But I like my long, water wasting hot showers

– Erick at Peach Pundit on a proposal by Rep. Karla Drenner (D-Decatur) to require water-saving plumbing fixtures in homes

I feel his pain. Listening to my favorite radio program in the shower is one my favorite ways to relax. Damn you, drought! Damn you, local leaders who don’t know the meaning of planning! Damn you, mussels.

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I have a big problem. I care too much.

– EskimoKiss has a big problem. EskimoKiss cares too much.

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Too bad his dimwitted principal doesn’t get it. Pitts seized 500 undistributed copies of the school paper and, according to the AJC, told the student journalists he wanted more “positive and uplifting stories.”

– ATLMalcontent berates East Coweta High School Principal Derek Pitts for confiscating copies of the school’s student newspaper. Pitts was upset about a satirical essay in the paper by student Justin Jones.

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Instead, how about “The City Too Busy to Cut a Deadweight Marketing Initiative from its Budget”?

— Rusty the Radical Georgia Moderate on “City lights, Southern nights,” the slogan reportedly replacing “Every day is an opening day” as Atlanta’s new municipal marketing theme

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Atlanta abandons slogan, resurrects Glen Campbell’s career

— When ATLMalcontent heard the slogan, he thought of a Glen Campbell song. When I heard it, I thought of a porn store.

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The Dumbest Thing Ever Said

— memberg at Peach Pundit on Brand Atlanta Executive Director Melinda Ennis-Roughton’s description of Atlanta as “New York with Southern manners and charm”

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New York with Southern manners and charm? I grew up here. This is not New York, Southern manners are getting rarer and rarer and all the charm is being bulldozed and replaced by McMansions. Which, of course, have lawns we can’t water.

— Danny G at AdPulp on the Atlanta/New York comparison.

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With so many bloggers noting the 40th anniversary of Che Guevara’s death, I figure I might as well throw in my 2 cents.

Or, more accurately, artist Matthew Diffee’s 2 cents.

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My weekend is set…

Friday:
- Work (8am to 4pm)
- Ronald Reagan marathon
- Cut grass
- Ronald Reagan marathon
- Sleep

— Jason Pye on TCM’s Ronald Reagan movie marathon. Knute Rockne All American is on at 11:45 tonight. Set your TiVo.

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I would hope that people like Sean Kingston, being a teenager himself, would realize that gay and lesbian youth are extremely disproportionately affected by suicide. Additionally, in my opinion, by making light of something as serious as depression and suicide, by relating it to being simply turned down or broken up with, is ignorant and shameful.

— Duane Moody is offended because the hit song “Beautiful Girls” by Sean Kingston includes the refrain “Damn all these beautiful girls/They only wanna do your dirt/They’ll have you suicidal, suicidal/When they say it’s over.” In Duane’s estimation, it’s insensitive because it makes light of teen suicide, which affects gays disproportionately.

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Hard to believe it’s been almost 10 years since Princess Di left us. What an amazing, amazing woman! I remember where I was when I heard the news. I was in my dorm room, crying in bed after some jerk made what I interpreted to be a homophobic remark to someone I didn’t know.

I felt so bad for Di’s yummy sons. I wonder if they’re circumcised? I’d loves me some Prince Harry!

— ATLMalcontent parodies Duane Moody’s blog very well.

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We did one lap around the park and then headed back home. We did get to see the giant AIDS quilt before we left, though.

-Me at Sallad.net recaps the weekend’s Atlanta Pride Festival. In thrilling detail!

I suspect that the festival-goers who had more fun than Sallad are probably too tired to blog this morning.

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Republicans pulled 70% in a 70% Republican district. Old school politics and old school names still matter. Most of us, yours truly included, tended to focus on issues too large while ignoring the fact voters tend to not care what we think.

-GriftDrift offers his take on the Democrat James Marlow’s third-place finish in last week’s special election to fill the vacant 10th Congressional District seat. The first and second-place finishers, Republicans Jim Whitehead and Paul Broun, respectively, face each other in a runoff July 17.

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Communism is like so rad and all that good stuff.

-ATLMalcontent on Cameron Diaz’s fashion faux-pas in Peru. Diaz visited Machu Picchu carrying a tote emblazoned with a Chinese red star and the famous Mao slogan, “Serve the people.” Tens of thousands have died in Peru due to war between the government and Maoist rebels.

If, like me, you are fascinated by the intersection of Communism and camp, you might be interested in this photo I took in Prague two weeks ago. Note the museum’s location.

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