Fresh Loaf

After President Obama’s Cairo speech, one of the more bizarre memes to emerge from the Magical Dungeon of Nonsensical Anti-Obama Talking Points was the notion that Obama’s words were somehow harshly critical of Israel.

The most popular criticism: Obama’s speech threw Israel “under the bus.” Michael Goldfarb of the Weekly Standard said it. Former Bush One Deputy Undersecretary of Defense Jed Babbin said it. Best-selling professional Muslim-hater Robert Spencer said it, too.

Google — or, if you prefer, Bing — the phrase “Obama threw Israel under the bus” and you’ll find countless examples. By countless, I mean there were a lot, but I didn’t count them.

Rush Limbaugh didn’t use “under the bus.” Instead, he said Obama’s speech “threw Israel over the cliff.”

I’m not sure if getting thrown over a cliff is supposed to be better or worse than getting thrown under a bus. I suppose it depends on what’s at the bottom of the cliff. If there’s a giant trampoline or a nude beach with exceptionally bouncy sand at the bottom, then maybe the cliff ain’t so bad.

If, however, there are dragons at the bottom of the cliff, or a freaky modern art installation consisting of thousands of upward-facing pitchforks, then I’m taking the under-the-bus option.

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I had CNN on mute the other morning and saw something out of the corner of my eye about President Barack Obama speaking at Cairo University in Egypt about muslin.

I was only half paying attention, but it seemed like he went on for, like, a whole hour about how the U.S. has no quarrel with muslin in general, but only with violent muslin radicals who want to destroy America’s traditions — by which I assume he meant denim. I guess he did the speech in Cairo because Egypt is one of the world’s largest growers of cotton and is therefore a hotbed of muslin extremism.

I sure hope the muslin world isn’t too cloth-eared to accept Obama’s benevolent overture.

If you think the muslin/Muslim pun in the first three paragraphs is stupid, I don’t blame you. Rereading it now, I haven’t quite cottoned to it myself.

OK, I promise I’ll stop.

But punning muslin and Muslim is only slightly sillier than politicians and journalists suggesting over and over that the “Muslim world” constitutes a coherent grouping of people.

“Muslim world” is about as nonspecific as one can get. Targeting a speech to the “Muslim world” is like walking up to a podium and saying, “Greetings, Earthlings,” or “Welcome, my fellow vertebrates.”

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