Fresh Loaf

Hiram, sweet Hiram

Who among us hasn’t wanted to chuck it all and start over at some point?

Well, there’s a guy in Hiram, Georgia, who’s attempting to do just that and, as he puts it, he’s “serious as a heart attack.” I’ll let him set the scene, from his craigslist post:

I am up over my head in student loan and medical debt, but instead of whining about it and asking for charity, I have decided to man up and sell everything I own in one all or nothing ebay auction and start over from scratch. You can step out of your material life and take over mine! I will not sell anything in this lot individually, it is all or nothing! Don’t worry about me, I will be ok: Once it is sold I will travel the world or move to some exotic local and start over.

What’s he selling? Purt-near everything. Duh!

My house and 99.9 percent of everything in it. The house is a 4 bedroom split level in Hiram Ga, 25 or so miles due west of Atlanta. Nice open air design, very airy, cheery and bright. Recently bug bombed and bug blocker sprayed around the perimeter of the house. I have coated all the windows in the house with anti-glare film and done all sorts of cool landscaping and shrubbery. All the appliances work and are in excellent shape, the heater and AC work great. This is not a drafty house!

Not drafty — hot damn, what’s the downside? Well, for starters, it’s in Hiram, hometown to Speaker of the House Glenn Richardson. That’s gonna hurt the re-sell.

(more…)

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Even though I wandered over to Craigslist in search of a bicycle, I couldn’t resist the temptation browse my favorite section.

My favorite ad: a man generously offering to take nude photos of women.

“No fee for my services, this is strictly an artistic project.”

I can’t even copy-and-paste that without laughing.

Back to the bike hunt.

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1. Atlantans mourn Frank Mullen (Beloved music photographer succumbs to cancer.)

2. Beltline CEO Terri Montague stepping down from project (A surprising move from the woman who’d been heading one of the largest public-works projects in recent Atlanta history.)

3. Ga. governor candidate John Oxendine loves ‘Confederate gray’ (Twittering candidate gives us a little too much information about his decorating taste.)

4. Beltline’s affordable housing program starts up despite shakeup, economy (Efforts are afoot to make sure us regular people can afford Beltline-proximate property.)

5. Craigslist dropping ‘erotic services’ category (Alt-weeklies rejoice! We’ve beat out Craigslist for smut ads.)

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According to Illinois’s attorney general, Craigslist will drop “erotic services” from its online classified ad service.

Perhaps this means alt-weeklies will once again become the place men turn when they’re shopping for exotic divas who enjoy massaging prostates.

(Photo by Joeff Davis)

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>> California considers vote on upholding Proposition 8 and Kenneth Starr (remember that awesome dude?) has an opinion. Surprise, surprise.

>> Brad Pitt unleashes the sexy on D.C. and no one is immune.

>> Sanjay Gupta, the great Atlanta hope for some stake in the Obama administration has withdrawn his name from consideration. Say it ain’t so!

>> In the ongoing Chrisanna saga, Chris Brown appears in court after being charged with two felonies. Don’t lie to yourself, you know you care.

>> A British aquarium’s super genius octopus is far better at providing food for itself than America’s Octomom. Well, somewhat. At least it doesn’t require the assistance of taxpayers.

>> Craigslist is selling more than sofas and some people aren’t fans of the other wares for purchase.

>> IT’S BRITNEY, BITCH: So, no drugged-out mess performance for Atlanta — the youngish pop star is back in top form. Check out the pics from Spears’ concert last night.

(Non-celebrity related photo by Joeff Davis)

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Hi there. If you’re like me, you’re an avid collector of wolf memorabilia. Wait, you aren’t?!? My friend, you’re missing out on one of the collecting circuit’s most lucrative, uhm, things!

From Craigs List Atlanta:

WE are located in Rockdale — Conyers area.

I have a HUGE wolf collection. I am moving across Ga and so i am needing to sale the collection off. There is a Wolf Rug, Wolf Clock, Wolf bank, wolf bookcase book holders, a wolf fountain (needs a new hand sized gen.), framed and log based photos of wolves to hang on wall, family photo frame with wolves on it, wolf magnets, wolf night light, wolf lamp, and MANY wolf figurines(sp?).

Its worth about $200, but i need to get rid of it, so i am selling it for $120, so i can get about half of what it is worth, and so that it will sale quick and someone can have a nice collection or add on to their collection!

Don’t let this exciting opportunity pass you by.

(Hat tip to It’s All In My Head)

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One of you has an admirer:

Eyes during yoga should be looking inward, not at the “gorgeous fawn!”

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From the “Activity Partners” page on Craigslist:

Reply to: comm-945764695@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-12-05, 4:36AM EST

Hello, thank you for reading.

I have chosen to live a more bizarre and exciting life, and all exciting lives include an arch nemesis, to keep you on your toes day to day.

Not the kind of nemesis that blows up buildings or kidnaps people that I’ll need to save, more like the kind that we can exchange prankish sort of things, like hide in the bushes outside my house and spray me with a fire extinguisher on my way to work, to which I retaliate days later with something equally silly.

There are some requirements:

• must have a handlebar mustache
• must be able to speak with an east European accent
• must wear a top hat or bowler
• must own a cape
• must have some basic knowledge of bizarre sciences
• must have title starting with “Dr.” “Prof.” or “Mister”
• must have scar on face
• must have an “evil” pet or pets, like tigers or alligators or robots or homeless minions
• must laugh with fists clenched

If you fit these requirements, lets set up an audition, and hopefully you we can start our epic nemecy.

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From CraigsList’s “missed connections” post titled “Thanks for the bathroom fun in PUBLIX today – w4m – 30 (Acworth)”:

To the hottie Dad who left his basket of soup and crackers to come play with me in the bathroom.

That was hot as you know what. I have never ****** like that before.

Anytime you want to meet for a free cookie,,, I will be there.

They never would’ve let this happen at Food Lion.

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From Atlanta’s Missed Connections page on Craigslist:

QT NORTH DRUID HILLS – m4w – 30 (Atlanta)

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Reply to: pers-860816732@craigslist.org ^[?]
Date: 2008-09-30, 10:09AM EDT

You were in line behind me waiting for gas. You looked amazing in your black BMW. If you noticed me…and you see this. lets talk. Maybe we can get some gas together sometimes

Have any of you made new friends as a result of the gas shortage?

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Calling all bespectacled, no-nonsense women who steal the spotlight from their potential bosses when they’re not killing moose! Your services are requested for an “adult-themed video production” here in Atlanta.

The wonderful ladies at Pecanne Log unearthed this gem:

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THIS is the reason why Atlanta needs a robust transit system. Subway Crush, a sort of CraigsList “missed connections,” just for the subway.

I can only imagine the postings would consist of “you were wearing a red fanny pack and going to the Braves game.” Or “you were singing popular rap songs and looking for your doo rag. E-mail me!”

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I found this on Craigslist’s local “Strictly Platonic” page:

Seeking A Gay Barber – m4m – 23 (NE ATL)

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Reply to: pers-833508795@craigslist.org
Date: 2008-09-09, 2:21AM EDT

I am a 23 and a graduate student at Georgia State. I am looking for a cool gay barber that I can go to on the regular and build a close relationship. I feel like my hair is a very intimate part of my body and that having a good relationship with your barber is a must. I am a white guy but am open to a barbershop anywhere that will have me race is not an issue. I study African American History as one of my areas of interest and was raised by a black family as a foster kid. In fact if you were gay and black and a barber I might have a crush on you but anyway hit me up I promise to tip very well. I am not looking for a hairdresser I want a barber lol. Peace.

Location: NE ATL

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Watch out, ladies. Those Tech kids sure are wacky.

Michael McCarty, a 20-year-old Georgia Tech student, met his dream girl, a fellow college student, online 5 years ago.

So in preparation for her upcoming visit — when the two will meet face-to-face for the first time — Michael has turned to the Internet for help with something he hasn’t experienced — kissing.

McCarty, a finance major, placed an ad on Craigslist asking for “a girl to please teach me to kiss.” He says in the ad that his online girlfriend “tells me it’s a big turn-off if a guy doesn’t know how to kiss, and she even dumped her last boyfriend because of this.”

…

“I guess I’ve been on the computer too much playing video games and not going out and meeting people as much as I’d like to.”

Here’s his ad. Go Dawgs.

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