Dr. Thomas Frieden named new CDC director
Friday, May 15th, 2009
President Barack Obama stunned the nation today as he showed his affinity for “celebrity culture” — Dr. Sanjay Gupta, anyone? — and named well-known New York Times columnist Thomas Friedman to head the Atlanta-based U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.
Reached for comment at a nanotechnology conference in Hong Kong, Friedman said he did not understand the question, denied the appointment, and asked why our publication is named “Creative Loafing.” We called him a liar, said he was wrong about the Earth being flat, and told him his moustache was well developed.
No, really, but Obama did name a new CDC director today. He’s New York City Health Commissioner Dr. Thomas Frieden! His department came up with the awesome (really) idea to distribute subway-themed condoms. He sounds like a hellraiser and we welcome him to our city!
