Fresh Loaf

'I'll bring the giant slab of meat, guys!'

In a shameless attempt to mimic Kenyan President Barack Obama, an illegal alien who is doing keg stands at this very moment with a Harvard professor and Boston police officer, Gov. Sonny Perdue has invited the governors of Alabama and Florida to chew the fat and talk about sharing Lake Lanier’s water.

“Water issues have dominated the headlines in recent days, and I have read statements from both of you that indicate your willingness to resume water negotiations,” Governor Perdue wrote in a letter to both governors. “Judge Magnuson’s insistence on a Congressional solution was specifically related to authority for Lanier and did not address the allocation of water in the basins between the three states. I have always believed that a negotiated settlement that protects the rights and resources of all three states is the most lasting solution.”

Perdue even gave them a list of 40 days that he’s free. (Gotta be something Biblical about that.) Can’t make it to Atlanta? No biggie! Perdue said he’s willing to travel to them.

The governor might want to be accommodating to their schedules. According to the Associated Press, Alabama Gov. Bob Riley is none too pleased with Perdue’s decision to appoint Georgia Power CEO Mike Garrett to an “impact team” that’ll coordinate the Peach State’s strategy in this wacky mess.

Perdue’s full letter to the governors is pasted after the jump.

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Score one for Alabama in the never-ending “water wars” debacle.

U.S. District Judge Paul Magnuson today ruled that metro Atlanta’s water withdrawals from Lake Lanier — long a bone of contention between Alabama, Florida and Georgia — are illegal and ordered withdrawals frozen at their current levels.

Magnuson gave the Peach State three years to receive Congress’ approval should it want to keep dipping its straws in the giant jetski-filled pond. (PDF of the judge’s ruling)

Alabama Gov. Bob Riley, whose state has argued for years that Lake Lanier was never authorized to be metro Atlanta’s water fountain, was gracious when he heard the news. According to a statement from the governor printed in the Birmingham Business Journal:

“The significance of today’s ruling for Alabama’s economic and environmental future is tremendous…Atlanta has based its growth on the idea that it could take whatever water it wanted whenever it wanted it, and that the downstream states would simply have to make do with less. Following the court’s ruling today, this massive illegal water grab will be coming to an end.”

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Jetski enthusiasts, bass fishermen and bass were shocked — shocked! — Monday after the U.S. Supreme Court said it wouldn’t consider the decades-old legal war between Georgia, Florida and Alabama about how those three states share water from Lake Lanier.

The court’s decision raises fundamental questions about Georgia’s rights to Lake Lanier, a huge federal reservoir outside Atlanta that serves as the city’s main water source. It could also play a key role in deciding related water-rights disputes in lower courts.

Monday’s decision involves a 2003 water-sharing agreement with the Army Corps of Engineers that would have allowed Georgia to take far more water from Lanier for its drinking supply over the coming decades. The deal would have allowed Georgia’s withdrawals to jump from about 13 percent of the lake’s capacity to about 22 percent.

Florida and Alabama contested the pact, arguing that larger withdrawals would cripple downstream flows into their states. They said the lake was initially built for hydropower and providing water to Georgia was not an authorized use.

And now Lake Lanier is the primary source of drinking water for metro Atlanta! Yikes. Gov. Sonny Perdue! Sir, what’s your take on this?

“While we are disappointed with the Supreme Court’s decision today to not correct a flawed ruling by the D.C. Circuit, it is important to remember that this decision simply maintains the status quo in terms of the operation of Lake Lanier by the Army Corps of Engineers.

We felt strongly that Supreme Court review of this case could have resolved a major piece of our ongoing water negotiations, and we will now move forward continuing to work with our neighbors and other stakeholders to reach consensus on a plan that fairly shares our limited resources and adequately protects the headwaters of the Apalachicola-Chattahoochee-Flint River Basin.”

Thanks, governor! Other officials will most likely weigh in throughout the day. We’ll include their thoughts as they become available.

UPDATE: After the jump, view Florida Gov. Charlie “Tan-tastic” Crist’s statement on the matter.

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HAULING ASSET: U.S. Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson held a press conference this morning about the federal government’s plan to take all those pain-in-the-ass assets off the hands of struggling financial companies. It’s expected to be the biggest federal meddling in the free market since the 1930s, and markets around the world are digging it.

HADRON COLLIDER: A 30-ton transformer breaks in the world’s largest particle collider, halting the experiment. I can only assume it’s because of black holes.

FLORIDA: Thinks it’s too good for Clayton students.

HEAD-TO-HEAD: NFL commish Roger Goodell issues a warning about helmet-to-helmet collisions following Tampa Bay cornerback Elbert Mack’s skull-rattling hit on Matt Ryan.

DICK CHENEY: Can’t get enough war.

GA. MUSIC HALL OF FAME: Accepting seven new inductees Saturday, including Ludacris and Widespread Panic.

IT’S NOT THE HUMIDITY: UGA prepares to play in the Arizona desert for the first time in its 115-year history.

COKE: Named the No. 1 brand in the world for the eighth year in a row.

LANIER: Five feet away from last December’s all-time low.

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We’ve given them a lot of hell, but at least this year’s legislative session only saw Georgia take a couple of steps backward.

Down in the Sunshine State, the Legislature could outlaw neither a pair of dangling bumper “ornaments” nor the age-old practice of bestiality. Plus, their commuter-rail program died in the Senate. On second thought, maybe they are like us. Speak it, Associated Press, in succinct end-of-the-session rundown form! (Emphasis added, of course.)

Bestiality: Still legal in Florida

State Song: “Old Folks at Home,” also known as “Swanee River,” will be changed to leave out racially offensive lyrics. A second song, “Florida – Where the Sawgrass Meets the Sky,” submitted by a music teacher for a statewide contest, will become the state anthem.

Vehicle, um, decorations: Carry on with the popular pickup accoutrement: so-called Truck Nutz. The anatomically correct accessories, modeled after bull testicles, were outlawed by the Senate but had immunity in the House, so no $60 fine after all.

License plates: Added to the roster of 109 specialty plates now available are new ones touting Florida tennis, lighthouses and horses. Lawmakers declined to approve an “I Believe” plate promoting faith-based education, but endorsed a plate bearing the state motto “In God We Trust.”

(Thanks to Christa at PecanneLog and Wonkette)

(Photo courtesy of Draggin’ Nutz, Illustration by Thomas Wheatley)

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Alabama, Florida and Georgia will not be able to meet the Feb. 15 deadline set by the White House and come to a settlement about how water would be shared among the three states, the Associated Press reports. Officials involved with the talks say they need some more time. From the article:

Officials said the states have made progress in recent months after the president sent Interior Secretary Dirk Kempthorne to mediate a compromise as a record drought threatened Atlanta’s drinking supply. But instead of announcing a long-term pact on Friday as planned, they will offer more of a status report.

“I believe there’s a sincere effort being made,” Kempthorne said Thursday on Capitol Hill before entering a budget hearing. “I am encouraged, but I will keep pushing as well.”

Kempthorne, who said he was briefed on the talks Wednesday night, said he would wait to get details on how close the parties are before deciding whether to set a new deadline. If they remain far apart, he said, he will not.

How much more time do we need, Atlanta? I say, “two weeks,” but that’s just me, and my useless talent to remember classic scenes from Arnold Schwarzenegger films.

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From the Associated Press:

WASHINGTON (AP) — A federal appeals court has thrown out an agreement that Georgia reached with the Army Corps of Engineers for water rights to Lake Lanier, handing Alabama and Florida a major victory in the states’ years-long water wars.

The agreement, which would give Georgia about a quarter of the lake’s capacity over the coming decades for drinking water, is the foundation of Georgia’s long-term plans.

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What does 270 miles of traveling south and a day in Tallahassee get you? According to today’s meeting of the governors of Florida, Georgia and Alabama, just some more time.

Gov. Sonny Perdue trekked down to the Sunshine State’s capital to meet with Governors Charlie Crist of Florida and Bob Riley of Alabama and, according to a statement from Crist’s office, agreed to send high-level staff members to Washington, D.C., in mid-January to hammer out a deal between the three states regarding reduced water flows in the Alabama-Coosa-Tallapoosa, and Apalachicola-Chattahoochee-Flint River Basins. The governors said they would then meet again in February to conclude the 17-year-old tri-state dispute over the precious resource. That deal would then be presented to the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers and the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Services. FWS officials would have the right to object to any changes in releases that may be harmful to endangered marine life located downstream, such as the mussels that have played such a prominent role in the entire water shortage drama.

The governors also decided today to move up to March 15 a June 1 deadline imposed by the Corps for the states to agree to a water-sharing strategy.

According to the statement from Crist’s office, “representatives from the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers and the U.S. Fish & Wildlife Service also participated in today’s meeting to provide factual information on current conditions of both the ACF River Basin and the ACT River Basin.”

No word yet if David Ratcliff, chairman, president and CEO of Southern Company, was in attendance, as he was at the Nov. 1 D.C. sit-down between the governors.

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Alabama followed Florida’s lead today, asking President Bush to deny Gov. Sonny Perdue’s request to stop the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers’ release of water from Lake Lanier.

Citing the “profound socioeconomic” effect such an act would have on Apalachicola River and Bay’s commercial fishing industry, Florida Gov. Charles Crist told President  Bush in a letter that “further reductions would only hasten the decline of this important component of Florida’s economy.”

Crist also took an apparent swipe at Georgia’s laissez-faire development model:

Florida has enacted comprehensive water supply legislation to ensure water is available to meet the needs of its communities, prior to development. The legislation provides the plan and funding for developing alternative water supplies such as desalinazation, reuse, and conservation as well as adding new requirements for regional water supply plans to make them more useful to local governments and enhance consumptive use permitting. By ensuring water is available prior to development, Florida is, and has been, less vulnerable to periods of drought.

Zing!

Crist goes on to say the state is willing to work with Alabama, Florida and the Corps to develop a better water-sharing model, but that “reacting to the concerns of an upstream State to suspend environmental laws unilaterally at the expense of a downstream State’s ecology and economy cannot be justified in any circumstance.”

Click here for the PDF file of Gov. Charles Crist’s letter to President Bush

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