Fresh Loaf

Some CL staffers on weekends have been known to occasionally step away from eBay, where they troll for vintage copies of Chairman Mao’s Little Red Book, to stop and giggle at the spectacular moments in Zee World of Sports©.

We love Hail Mary passes. We’re crazy about caber tosses. Between-the-legs tennis shots? Indeed! But the fan reactions are sometimes the best. And when those fans are hardworking state employees celebrating a home team victory with the terrorist fist jab, that’s a bonus. Hence this poignant moment between two Georgia State Patrolmen at Saturday’s UGA-USC football game.

Hell yes.

(H/T to FuckYeahGeorgia via Matt-T)

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Kristen: I hate football with an intense passion because my father is obsessed with it. He always got so into it during holidays that he would scream and yell, and we would have to compete for attention. I played with Barbies. I remember my father and his brothers and how much they yelled. They were like zombies. When I hear the sounds of football today, I think of angry men yelling together. It makes my skin crawl. When I walk past a sports bar, I walk a little faster. For me, when someone scores a touchdown and everybody yells, it’s like PTSD when a bomb goes off and everybody ducks for cover.

Steve: A bunch of pussies. They’re fat guys wearing pads, on steroids. I’m a rugby player. Those guys wouldn’t last five minutes playing rugby. I don’t bait dogs. Football is very little technical ability, no thinking involved. Rugby doesn’t stop. You don’t have time outs, you don’t stop every five minutes and tell somebody, “I’ll be here, throw me the ball.” I played American football in Scotland. Crap. It’s like playing cricket. I was a lineman. Most of the time I never touched the ball. It was like, “This is the stupidest fuckin’ game in the world.” When rugby players play against American football players, they kick their asses in both games.

Sean: I’m not like Mr. Anti-American, but it just seems chauvinistic and very fake. Plus, it has nothing to do with your feet. It’s holding the football in your hands. I feel like handball is what football should be called. It just doesn’t make any sense. And everything is done on the old numeric system. Feet, yards — everybody else is using the metric system, like, for the past 100 years. It’s just so out of date. A bunch of B.S., pretty much.

(Photos by Jeff Slate)

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Good to know our elected officials are thinking big when it comes to dealing with a recent ruling that says metro Atlanta’s use of Lake Lanier as a source of drinking water is illegal.

SOCIAL CIRCLE – State Sen. John Douglas is poised to take the water wars between Georgia, Florida and Alabama to a new front – the football field.

…

Douglas said this ruling comes just as the contract between the University of Georgia and the University of Florida to play the annual football game in Jacksonville, Fla. – which has been called the World’s Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party – is set for renewal.

“But if the state of Florida wants to play hardball, then as far as I’m concerned, the vendors in Jacksonville can frankly pay the price,” the Social Circle Republican said.

Douglas said he traditionally “doesn’t have a dog in the fight,” but with the recent ruling in the tri-state water wars, he’s ready to work with UGA’s Athletic Association to bring the Georgia-Florida game to Georgia at least every other year.

…

“Now is the time for us to use economic leverage,” he said when contacted by the Citizen on Wednesday. “This is one of the few economic tools we have at our disposal, and I don’t think we should ask the people of Georgia to spend their money in Florida and then have them use that money against us in a courtroom.”

Never mind that the annual Georgia-Florida game is a boon for South Georgia, particularly in the areas of St. Simons, Sea Island and Savannah. Hotels, condo and restaurants along the Golden Isles are packed to capacity during the event. We’re sure business leaders there won’t mind at all.

(Courtesy Senate Press Office)

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…in 2018 or 2022. That’s a long way out, sure, but it’d be incredible for Atlanta to host some of the games.

From the Atlanta Business Chronicle:

The Georgia Dome and The University of Georgia’s Sanford Stadium are among 70 U.S. stadiums that could host soccer’s World Cup in 2018 or 2022, the USA Bid Committee said Wednesday.

The committee mailed letters last week to public officials and stadium operators in metropolitan markets across the United States in a first step toward preparing a formal bid to play host to the FIFA World Cup in 2018 or 2022.

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Plus, it’s Canadian football! Guaranteed hilarity! (Hat tip to the inimitable Brooke Hatfield)

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MELTDOWN: Bailout talks crumbled Thursday night when House Republicans announced they won’t back the plan because it offends free-market absolutism. McCain, who made a fuss this week about injecting himself into the negotiations, was largely silent as the Republican revolt ripped apart consensus. Talks resume today, and Bush promised this morning that a bailout package will be passed.

THE REELING IS MUTUAL: Washington Mutual becomes the largest bank to fail in U.S. history as it’s seized by the federal government and sold to J.P. Morgan Chase.

DEBATE AND SWITCH: Obama’s in Oxford, Miss., the site of tonight’s first presidential debate of the general election; McCain is still sending mixed messages about whether he’ll attend, although surrogate Lindsey Graham hinted this morning that McCain may be there after all. And despite McCain’s announced suspension of his campaign, ongoing TV commercials, a speech in New York and media interviews make it seem rather unsuspended. UPDATE: McCain now says he will show up for the debate.

NO. 1 STUNNER: Top-ranked USC falls to Oregon State, making No. 3 UGA’s matchup Saturday with No. 8 Alabama that much more momentous.

OIL FOR FEUD: Tex Pitfield, an oilman whose name wouldn’t allow him any other line of work, has asked Gov. Perdue to cancel the Georgia-Alabama game because of the gas shortage. Perdue’s office calls the suggestion “ridiculous,” and urges people to take common-sense measures, presumably such as stealing gas from Alabama fans. UGA officials have asked fans who can’t make it to Athens and back on one tank, however, not to come.

LONG SHORTAGE: The Washington Post breaks down the regionwide fuel crisis that’s hamstrung the Southeast.

ATLANTA’S AIR FORCE: Delta and Northwest shareholders have endorsed the airlines’ merger, leaving the ball in the Justice Department’s court.

WILD BLUE HITHER: GeorgiaSkies, a new airline launched by Pacific Wings, will offer intrastate flights among Atlanta, Athens and Macon starting Monday.

(SUNK) LIKE A ROCK: The abrupt closure of all Bill Heard Chevrolet dealerships on Wednesday, which the company blames on the economy and gas prices, has left many customers in limbo.

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BAILOUT: President Bush, looking concerned, nervous but still slightly amused, tells the nation that the “entire economy is in danger.”

PALIN: CNN’s Campbell Brown issued a rant to the McCain campaign Tuesday, calling for it to stop sheltering its VP candidate and treating her “like she is a delicate flower that will wilt at any moment,” in response to the campaign barring reporters from asking her questions at a U.N. appearance. Palin was then turned loose to Katie Couric Wednesday, and it did not go well.

MCCAIN: Suspends his campaign to focus on the economy, and asks Obama to postpone Friday’s debate if a bailout deal isn’t reached by then. Obama declines, saying “It is going to be part of the president’s job to deal with more than one thing at once.”

GAS PANIC: Still going on, and people are still fighting at gas stations.

MERGE PROTECTOR: Northwest Airlines’ shareholders this morning approved merging with Delta, whose shareholders will also vote today. Antitrust approval still awaits.

EURO TRIP: Gov. Perdue’s upcoming trip to Spain is expected to cost taxpayers $100,000 at a time when Georgia faces a nearly $1.6 billion budget shortfall and has asked state agencies, including the governor’s office, to cut back.

SHOOTING THE BREEZE: The Gainesville Times reports that relocated city slickers often are shocked this time of year by their neighbors outside, guns a-blazin’, because much of unincorporated Georgia allows residents to shoot guns on their own property.

UGA VS. ‘BAMA: Officials warn that Athens may be flooded with counterfeit tickets Saturday, as average real-ticket prices are more than $300.

TERROR LEVEL RED HOT: The New Englandish region (touché, Jimbo) isn’t establishing a good track record with bomb recognition. First there was the 2007 Aqua Teen Hunger Force scare in Boston; now the Philadelphia Phillies blew up some hot dogs before losing to the Braves Wednesday night.

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STAYING ALIVE: Troy Davis is alive this morning, thanks to a last-minute stay granted by the U.S. Supreme Court. The justices will reconvene Monday, and if they don’t decide to hear his case, he’s back in Georgia’s clutches.

CHECK IS IN THE BAIL: Congress is listening to growing outcries to limit Wall Street executives’ lavish salaries and perks as part of the bailout. Counters one trade lobbyist: “It is not appropriate for government to be setting the salaries of executives.” Not appropriate like, say, using taxpayer money to save a corporation from its own bad investments.

WARREN PEACE: Warren Buffet soothes the weary minds of investors by throwing in on Goldman Sachs.

FUELISH HUMANS: The 2008 Atlanta Gas Crisis! is still going strong, despite the EPA’s move to allow local stations to sell heavier-polluting fuel. The AJC interviews an Emory behavioral psychologist, who reminds us that we’re panicky nitwits.

GAS FIGHT! Society is always three meals, or one tank of gas, away from anarchy.

FLORIDA: Decides it will accept Clayton students to its colleges after all.

DEKALB PLANE CRASH: One person is killed when a plane headed from Jacksonville, Fla., to Michigan crashes in a residential neighborhood near PDK.

TYLER PERRY: The Atlanta movie mogul/maven, who was once homeless himself, donates enough food to feed 1,000 Atlanta families for two weeks, helping address the recent food-donation shortage in the city.

ZOONOTIC SUGGESTION: Advocates of relocating the National Bio- and Agro-Defense Facility to Athens contend it would foster increased scientific collaboration on treating diseases that start in animals and spread to humans, like avian flus.

BLACK MARKET: The announcement that UGA’s high-stakes showdown with No. 8 Alabama Saturday will be the blackout game has sparked the Athens economy with a black-clothes-buying frenzy.

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INVESTMENT BANKS: A thing of the past.

RED, WHITE AND SACRÉ BLEU: TIME magazine bears the sobering message that all this federal financial fiddling is making us kind of French.

BRIAN NICHOLS TRIAL: Scheduled to begin today.

PUMP SLUMP: Gas is hard to find in parts of the Southeast as pipelines are slow to rebound from Ike, but the current Georgia shortages should wane soon.

1400 PEACHTREE: You know what we need to solve this real-estate crisis? A new 70-story skyscraper.

HOT AND BOTHERED: A man and woman flee police in a van after being caught by police midcoitus, then crash the van and run.

HELL TO THE CHIEFS: The Falcons dismantled Kansas City Sunday for their second win of the season, while handing the Chiefs their 12th straight loss.

BLACKOUT: UGA holds onto No. 3 in both polls; coach Mark Richt announces the team will wear black jerseys for the third time against No. 8 Alabama this Saturday, when ESPN GameDay will be in Athens.

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SARAH PALIN: The NY Times examines her governing style, which includes hiring several high school friends to high-paying state jobs for which they had no relevant experience.

BEAR MARKET TO FLEA MARKET: The Lehman Brothers investment bank announces it will file for bankruptcy, and despite the possibly market-soothing buyout of Merrill Lynch by Bank of America, the Dow drops 300 points.

FALCONS: Can’t overcome early deficit to the Bucs despite a near-comeback in the fourth quarter.

LAWYER MILLOY: The Falcons’ star safety was arrested on charges of DUI and speeding early this morning. No word yet on whether he will represent himself.

GALVESTON: Rendered a wasteland by Ike, with packs of stray dogs and loose steer wandering the sewage-strewn streets. Hurricane hold-outs now want off the island after lack of power and water has made it almost uninhabitable.

CUTBACKS: State lawmakers, judiciary and the governor’s office say they’ll cut back on their budgets in addition to upcoming state budget cuts made necessary by the colossal statewide shortfall.

QUORUM: The revamped Clayton school board can now move forward with official business after reaching a quorum by recruiting two former candidates for board seats.

DOG CALLS 911: To report owner’s seizure.

LANIER: Not filling back up anytime soon.

LINGERING: Linger Longer Communities says it’s making progress on plans for its Jekyll Island redevelopment, but navigating the environmental laws and public input may be bogging down the process.

UGA: Drops to No. 3 despite staying undefeated, but still has four top-10 teams on its schedule, all SEC foes.

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SHARP AS ATTACK: Obama will kick off today a more aggressive approach in campaigning and defending himself against recent truthy attacks from the McCain campaign.

HURRICANE IKE: The National Weather Service warns of “certain death” for coastal residents around Galveston who try to ride out the storm. Houston, however, is doing just that. In metro Atlanta, the specter of Ike has raised gas prices slightly.

THE BEST OFFENSE: The upcoming announcement of where the National Bio- and Agro-Defense Facility will be located has led to renewed discussion of bioterrorism dangers and accidental disease outbreaks. Meanwhile, NBAF proponents were joined by Gov. Sonny Perdue, who chimed in in support of locating the facility in Athens.

TROY DAVIS: Clemency hearing is today.

FALCONS: Ranked 29th in the NFL in terms of team value. But the emergence of a dynamic running game may make that a low estimate.

DOWNTOWN CONNECTOR: All work that requires lane closures is now finished.

ACCESSNORTHGA.COM: Reports that the Ga. 316/I-85 interchange is one step away from completion; crews now just need to remove the oversized road construction signs.

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BUSH: Secretly ordered the recent covert military strike in Pakistan, according to the NY Times, a major detachment from the usual U.S. tactic of using unmanned Predator spy planes to fire at suspected al-Qaeda targets in the country.

MCCAIN: Leads Obama by 18 points in Georgia.

HURRICANE IKE: Barreling toward Houston and Galveston, expected to be a Category 3 when it hits Friday night. Thousands of coastal Texans are evacuating.

CAGLE: Will run for governor in 2010.

THE POACH STATE: Georgia is among the fast-growing states poaching teachers from more economically strapped states, such as Michigan.

EXCELLENCE DEFICIENCY: The Commission for School Board Excellence, formed at the request of the Georgia Board of Education, is recommending that Georgia should have more power to intervene in dysfunctional local school boards such as Clayton’s.

BOBBY COX: Will return next season.

TOUCH AND GO: A Fulton Superior Court judge dismisses a lawsuit by VOTER GA challenging the fraud-proofness of the state’s touch-screen voting machines. VOTER GA’s Garland Favorito says the group may appeal.

CUMBERLAND ISLAND: Will begin tours of its north end, which had previously only been accessible to visitors via a 17-mile hike.

UGA: Will face its first real test of the season as it enters SEC play against Spurrier’s Gamecocks in Columbia Saturday.

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HYPERCAMPAIGNING: The late conventions combined with unprecedented early voting in various states has drastically changed the formula for how to campaign on the home stretch.

SMASHING SUCCESS: The Large Hadron Collider — the $9 billion, 17-mile atom smasher that will replicate the moments following the Big Bang and which some skeptics worry will create Earth-swallowing black holes — was successfully started outside Geneva this morning.

IKE: Leaves Cuba reeling as it hits the Gulf, where it may strengthen to a Category 3 before hitting Texas.

FIREFIGHTERS: Atlanta Fire Union president warns of a mass exodus of firefighters to the suburbs.

KNOWSHON MORENO: UGA’s star tailback has become a hit on YouTube for his hurdle over a Central Michigan defender Saturday, but ESPN and FOX are in Mark Richt’s doghouse for not including the highlight in their top-10 reels.

CROC HUNTER: The parents of a boy whose Croc-clad foot was mangled by a Hartsfield-Jackson escalator are suing the Colorado-based shoe company for not including warning labels.

BALD IS BEAUTIFUL: Conservationists in North Carolina are experimenting with using desert goats to reclaim the natural mountain balds, which have become overgrown due to human overhunting of the natural grazers like elk and bison.

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DAVID FRANKLIN: The ex-husband of Mayor Shirley Franklin and a chief architect of the Maynard Jackson political machine died Sunday at 65.

TRAVELATROCITY: Atlanta and several other U.S. cities are suing 17 online travel sites including Orbitz, Travelocity and Expedia, alleging the companies have cheated the cities out of millions in taxes.

REVACUEES: Gulf Coast residents who fled Hurricane Gustav may be repeating the ordeal less than two weeks later as Ike heads west-northwest.

OH, THE HEWED MANATEE: Four manatees are killed in the Savannah River, presumably by a large commercial or military prop boat.

HOSCHTON: The northeast Georgia city has broken Cincinnati’s world record for scarecrows in a single ZIP code, with nearly 5,000 at last count.

CLAYTON NOT APPEALING: The school system has decided not to appeal SACS’ accreditation-removal decision, instead focusing on getting its accreditation reinstated by September 2009.

ZONE COVERAGE: Former UGA and Cincinnati Bengals dynamo linebacker David Pollack, whose football career was ended in September 2006 with a broken neck, has signed on to host a sports talk show on 790 the Zone.

CONNECTING THE DOT: DOT Commissioner Gena Abraham and former DOT chairman Mike Evans were married Saturday night in Alabama.

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“FIGHT WITH ME”: Says John McCain during his speech accepting the Republican nomination for president. I haven’t listened to the audio of his speech, but I assume he emphasized “with,” and not “fight.”

WARRIN’ POLICY: The New York Times examines how the hawkish and moderate wings of the GOP are vying beneath the surface to influence McCain’s foreign-policy compass, and what to make of his bellicose statements about Iran and Russia.

FIRING RANGE: After her aides improperly peeked at her sister’s ex-husband’s personnel files in an effort to get the Alaska state trooper fired, and then unsuccessfully pressured the public safety commissioner to fire him, Gov. Sarah Palin just fired the public safety commissioner, according to the Alaska state police union.

GATOR CHOMPED: The alligator that’s been sporadically spotted around Lake Lanier during the past month has been caught.

MASS TRANSIT: Can save the average Atlanta household $9,129 a year, according to the American Public Transportation Association. But APTA assumes the household would also get rid of a car, so those estimated savings include no longer paying to register and insure it.

NO BLACKOUT: Three Falcons sponsors bought the remaining 1,500 tickets to Sunday’s season opener to prevent a TV blackout. The game marks the beginning of the Mike Smith era, which players are thrilled about, especially when compared with the Bobby Petrino error “era.”

HOT PANTS: In addition to the ongoing rash of high-priced blue-jean thefts in Atlanta, four Gustav evacuees from New Orleans were arrested Thursday afternoon and charged with yet more blue-jean banditry. Hours earlier, Atlanta police arrested three other smash-and-grab suspects after a car chase.

HANNAH: Will bypass the Georgia coast today, bringing just wind and rain, but Savannah officials hope the false-ish alarm won’t discourage future hurricane wariness.

IKE THE DICKENS: The hurricane, which had been a Category 4 storm, is “extremely dangerous,” according to forecasters, even though it’s weakened to a Category 3.

TURF WARS: California’s attorney general and the nonprofit Center for Environmental Health are suing artificial-turf makers in Georgia and Florida for their turfs’ lead-based coloring, which the lawsuits claim violate California’s environmental laws.

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PALIN: Excites the crowd at the RNC with an aggressive speech aimed at Obama’s experience and celebrity. McCain makes a surprise appearance to support Palin, and reminds those in attendance of her national security experience.

OBAMA: Will give a prebuttal to McCain’s acceptance speech tonight on “The O’Reilly Factor.” Maybe this will come up.

KWAME KILPATRICK: The embattled mayor of Detroit has accepted a plea deal and will resign.

HANNAH: Takes a northward turn, and is now expected to bypass the Georgia coast and hit land on the Carolina coast. Savannah’s unlikely to be evacuated, but the Hostess City is still preparing for the uninvited guest.

HAITI: “The situation is as bad as it can be,” according to a U.N. official in Gonaives. The country has been hit by three tropical storms in two weeks, and more than 100 people have died amid flooding and mudslides.

PAKISTAN: Mad at the U.S. for an alleged cross-border raid that it says killed 15 villagers in the northwestern part of the country.

CLAYTON BOE: Gets one step closer to a quorum by appointing Jessie Goree to fill the vacant District 3 seat, but takes two steps back by holding another controversial closed meeting, which two members refuse to attend in protest. Meanwhile, Gov. Perdue is looking into how he could gain more power to intervene in troubled school systems, even if by constitutional amendment, but the earliest that could happen is November 2010, likely too late for Clayton.

WAREHOUSE FIRE: Shuts down North Avenue this morning near City Hall East.

SHOCKLEY AND AWE: Terence Moore fantasizes for UGA/Falcons fans how the beloved former Bulldogs QB could ascend now that he’s the No. 3 behind an unproven No. 1 and a mediocre No. 2.

BAD SPORTS? Spencer Hall at the Sporting Blog defends “the Atlanta sporting landscape” in response to mockery of the Falcons reducing ticket prices in hopes of avoiding a TV blackout for the season opener.

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RNC: Fred Thompson, Joseph Lieberman and a not-too-close President Bush regaled John McCain during the first full day of convention festivities in St. Paul Tuesday. Meanwhile, Ron Paul held his own convention outside Minneapolis Tuesday, rallying his troops behind his libertarian conservatism.

SAVANNAH: May need to evacuate for Hannah, which is expected to be a Category 1 hurricane when it makes landfall Friday. Some scrambling for flood insurance find out it’s too late.

ROTARY CUB: The newborn panda at Zoo Atlanta is back out of the incubator and with its mother, Lun Lun.

TYING UP JUICE ENDS: Coca-Cola is hoping to capitalize on its recent Beijing marketing blitz by making a bid for China’s largest juice company, which would be its second-largest acquisition ever.

DECORUM, BUT NO QUORUM: The new, relatively uncontroversial Clayton school board has just three members, two short of a quorum, but has 45 days to appoint additional members.

UGA: Falls to No. 2 in both major polls despite winning Saturday, as USC’s rout of Virginia leapfrogs the Trojans to the top spot.

CHIPPER JONES: Atlanta third baseman’s quest for the NL batting title is the only silver lining left on the Braves’ dismal season.

CHENEY: The vice president will speak Sept. 19 in North Georgia at the opening-day ceremony for the 145th anniversary of the Battle of Chickamauga.

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Georgia’s two most prominent football teams head into the season with very different prospects. The rebuilding Atlanta Falcons are expected to scrape the NFL’s dregs; the Georgia Bulldogs enter today’s opener as No. 1 in the NCAA.

“[U]nless Richt is holding that crystal football in Miami at around 11:30 p.m. on Jan. 8, 2009, this season will be a failure.”
– Pete Fiutak, FOXSports.com

“Our goals won’t be measured in wins and losses this year. We need to move forward and grow as a team.”
– Falcons general manager Thomas Dimitroff

“I think everybody is expecting good things.”
– Georgia head coach Mark Richt

“He’ll be running behind a shaky offensive line that looks as if it’s held together by duct tape purchased from one of [Arthur] Blank’s old stores.”
– The Sports Network’s Scott Garbarini, on new Falcons running back Michael Turner

“It’s cool to say you were part of that team that was preseason No. 1, but it would be a lot nicer to say it at the end of the season. There’s a lot of time between now and then.”
– Georgia quarterback Matthew Stafford

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CLINTON: Addresses the Democratic National Convention by pleading for unity in supporting Obama, telling her supporters, “I want you to ask yourselves: Were you in this campaign just for me?” Bill speaks tonight, along with Biden.

GLITCH, PLEASE: A computer glitch at an FAA facility south of Atlanta is blamed for delaying hundreds of flights across the country Tuesday.

SAXBY ON THE BEACH: Saxby Chambliss, who helped secure federal funding for the pork project, attended a coastal ceremony on Tybee Island Tuesday to announce a restoration plan for its eroding beaches. “I’m a beach bum,” he announced. “I love the beach.”

KOTSAY: The Braves’ center fielder may be headed to Boston, with Atlanta unlikely to get much besides a free roster spot in return.

SPELMAN: Gets an anonymous donation of $17 million.

ROCK YOU LIKE A TROPICAL DEPRESSION: Fay flooded Helen, Ga., and battered Hall County, but she also put a dent in our drought and raised Lake Lanier by a foot.

NO. 1 WITH A BULLET: UGA’s offense and defense say they’re ready to live up to the hype, but the loss of OL Trinton Sturdivant and “sloppy” blocking in practice has raised some nerves.

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VICE GRIP: Obama says he’s picked his vice presidential candidate, but instead of finding out who it is, we get a podium. The NYT lists the most-discussed candidates of both parties here; the AP reports that Sam Nunn seems to have dropped out of the running.

HOUSEKEEPING: McCain and his countless homes can’t get out of the news as the Obama campaign capitalizes.

FAY: After overstaying her welcome in Florida, Tropical Storm Fay moseys into South Georgia today, bringing several inches of rain, which could help some drought-stricken crops. Many of this year’s record sea-turtle nests on the Georgia coast have been destroyed by storm surges, though. Metro Atlanta will get high winds but not much rain.

PANHANDLING: Undercover cops have made 40 arrests and 50 “interventions” in aggressive panhandling in the last 20 days.

POP GOES THE MEASLES: Outbreaks of the infectious disease are at a 12-year high, and many health professionals are blaming parents’ fears of MMR vaccines leading to autism.

RED, BLACK AND GREEN: Preseason No. 1 UGA could also be the top revenue-generating college football team this season, the Atlanta Business Chronicle reports.

FREE LUNCH: A masked robber steals a Macon man’s lunchbox at gunpoint.

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OBAMA’S SECRET: The Democratic presidential nominee has picked a running mate. But he’s not gonna tell you who it is.

NO-SHOW REED: After hyping John McCain in anticipation of last night’s Atlanta fund-raiser (and after the GOP candidate allegedly told him ‘no thanks’), baby-faced former Christian Coalition prez Ralph Reed decides not to grace the event with his presence.

COUNCIL HEARTS TADS: Late last night, Atlanta City Council green-lighted controversial Tax Allocation District funding for the $125 million Center for Civil & Human Rights museum and the multi-billion-dollar Beltline transit-and-trails project. More than $200 million was approved — which marks the first infusion of government funds for the Beltline.

NO PRESSURE: The Georgia Bulldogs are the top-ranked college football team this year. It’s the first time the UGA team has started a season with the top ranking. Last year, the Dogs finished No. 2.

DESPERATE DEPOT: Atlanta-based Home Depot Inc. expects profits to tumble 24 percent in this weakened housing market year. Still, the world’s largest home-improvement company reported unexpectedly high profits this quarter.

SICK VITAMINS: A Marietta man claims his daily vitamin caused his hair and fingernails to fall out. Apparently, he’s not the only one.

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JIM MARTIN: Soundly defeats Vernon Jones to win the Democratic nomination for U.S. Senate; will face Saxby Chambliss in November.

TED JACKSON: There’s a new (Democratic nominee for) sheriff in town.

CLAYTON: Kem Kimbrough beats controversy-prone Sheriff Victor Hill for the Democratic nomination.

DEKALB CEO: Burrell Ellis beats Stan Watson and, with no Republican contender in the race, is the new CEO.

EX-BIN LADEN DRIVER: Found guilty today in the first Guantanamo war crimes trial.

SEA TURTLE NESTS: A record number have been found in Georgia this year.

ARBORING A GRUDGE: The New York Times reports on former Atlanta senior arborist Tom Coffin, who was fired July 29 for pointing out to his bosses the under- or nonenforcement of the tree ordinance in certain parts of the city.

WILLIE B.: The subject of a new documentary produced by Andrew Young.

UGA: Named by Sports Illustrated as the magazine’s preseason No. 1 and featured on one of five regional covers this week.

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VOTE: No one else is going to, so your vote will count that much more. Click here for CL’s voter guide.

DON’T DRINK THE WATER: A toxin found in Mars’ water dims scientists’ hopes of finding life there.

DOCK BLOCK: More than 2,300 private docks were built in coastal Georgia between 1996 and 2006, and each one can reduce biomass production by 30 percent below it due to blocked sunlight. Researchers are thus studying four types of docks that allow sunlight through.

NEW GRADY CEO: Says changing “the aura” will be the difference at Grady; plans to buy upgraded medical equipment, identify the top 10 financial issues and streamline processes in an effort to attract more insured patients to the beleaguered hospital.

WI-FI IN THE SKY: Delta plans to start offering Wi-Fi on all its domestic flights by next summer, but it’ll cost $10 for three hours or less and $13 for longer flights.

FIELD TRIPS: Georgia schools considering canceling them to save fuel.

TAILS WAGGING DAWGS: Mark Richt discusses the slew of arrested and penalized players this offseason; he and top players echo the line that they won’t be a distraction for long.

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The San Diego Union-Tribune reports today that the Bill Parcells-spurned Atlanta Falcons have made overtures to former San Diego Chargers head coach Marty Schottenheimer and to assistant Chargers GM Buddy Nix.

Known as a no-nonsense coach, Schottenheimer was the NFL Coach of the Year in 2004 and in the fickle manner of pro football, fired two years later after conflicts with the Chargers general manager. He also infamously played quarterback Drew Brees in a meaningless final game in 2005 that resulted in a shoulder injury that almost devastated Brees’ career.

Nix, according to the paper, is being eyed as the new general manager for the Falcons. Nix joined the team in 2001 just in time for the Chargers to pull off the best trade in San Diego history: the first overall draft pick in the 2001 draft to the Falcons. The Birds picked Michael Vick; the Chargers used the Falcons’ draft pick to select a running back you might have heard of: LaDainian Tomlinson.

For the Falcons, the wheels keep spinning. Bill Cowher turned them down. Bill Parcells used them to leverage a deal in Miami. Schottenheimer is known for turning losing teams into winners. He also tends to stick around a while, something a couple of previous Falcons head coaches weren’t, uh, known for.

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The Atlanta Falcons lined up for the team’s very first kickoff in the National Football League in 1966. And as the kicker ran up to kick, the wind knocked the football off the tee.

It turned out to be a symbolic start to what has become one of the NFL’s worst franchises. But as bad as the Falcons have been throughout their history, it’s never been as bad as it was this week.

In one 24-hour period, the Falcons:

• Saw their star quarterback sentenced to 23 months in federal prison;
• Lost by 20 points to a 5-7 team on “Monday Night Football”;
• Saw their head coach bolt like a rat jumping from a sinking ship, taking a pay cut to go back to a college job less than 24 hours after he had assured team owner Arthur Blank that he was here for the long haul.

Michael Vick’s arrest took the rudders off the Falcons franchise and what we’re seeing is not only the resulting free fall and crash, but the lowest point of a franchise with a history full of low moments.

It’s hard to feel bad for a billionaire, but today I want to find Arthur Blank and give him a hug.

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