Fresh Loaf

Yes, this is the only photo of The Cheetah we have in our database

So Monday’s Memorial Day, and everybody’s trying to tie up loose ends and meet early deadlines so they can take the day off work to light sparklers, eat barbecue, and watch Short Circuit on ABC Family.

Turns out we’re not the only ones.

Atlanta’s most beloved family-entertainment megaplex, The Cheetah on Spring Street, has issued a press release to inform field-trip coordinators, sex-positive patriots and wayward frat boys that it too will be closed on Monday.

The National Museum of Patriotism on Baker Street,  however, will be open.

Dancing resumes Tuesday at 11:30 a.m. No cover before 4 p.m. and we’re told the lunch menu is actually quite fantastic.

(Photo by Joeff Davis)

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Behold, to your right! The ova of Joe-juh!

This odd orb was one of the 49 others designed by the American Egg Board and scattered willy-nilly on the White House lawn, as is the Easter custom. The nameless faceless urchins who, after passing background checks, security clearances and slipping the bomb-sniffing hounds’ handlers a crisp C-note, stumbled upon this half-shell creation that looks like it fell off the back page of a PARADE magazine. This is something you buy in a Hallmark store and give to your third grade teacher, which she conveniently — accidentally! — drops out her car window.

I’m having a difficult time figuring out what we’re observing. Does the outside symbolize Georgia’s pristine outer shell, our gentle facade? Is the inside the murky slush in which countless souls sink and thrash about, trying to stay above the muck? I’m guessing it’s a forest, but is that a prison in back? What did these people know about Ron Sailor, and when did they know it?!?

What say you, noble reader?

(Photo by Chris Greenberg)

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