Fresh Loaf

The casual savagery of life in Iraq never fails to shock me.

For example, Reuters reports that Iraq’s government plans to kill all of the country’s bores. They claim it’s part of an effort to fend off an outbreak of H1N1, the so-called swine flu.

I’m not sure if the mass murder of wallflowers, dullards and people who talk about work at dinner parties is going to stop the spread of flu. Even if it does work, it’s still barbaric.

OK, scratch that. I just reread my notes. They’re killing boars.

But still, violence in Iraq is shocking.

Last week, terrorists detonated three car bombs within minutes of each other on a commercial strip in Baghdad’s Sadr City neighborhood. Forty-one people were killed and at least 60 were injured. The bombs went off around 5 p.m., the area’s peak shopping time.

The bombing wasn’t an isolated incident. Violence against civilians in Iraq is once again surging.

Click here to read the rest of Don’t Panic

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Because you can’t be a journalist in late December without writing lists . . .

Five People Who Also Should Have Had Shoes Thrown At Them In 2008

5. Nouri al-Maliki – After Iraqi journalist Muntadar al-Zeidi threw his shoes at President Bush at a press conference in Iraq this month, Bush tried to spin the incident as a size 10 vindication of the Iraq war. “That’s what happens in free societies,” he said. Credible reports have since surfaced saying Prime Minister of Iraq Nouri al-Maliki’s goons have tortured al-Zeidi and forced him to write an apology.  Free society, indeed. Shoe Maliki now.

4. Colin Powell – A leaked report on the failed Iraq occupation quotes former Secretary of State Colin Powell saying the Pentagon systematically lied about progress in Iraq way back in 2003. Powell knew it then, but he’s only telling us now. Thanks for nothing, Colin. You deserve a pair of combat boots to the head for every U.S. troop who has died in Iraq.

3. Mikheil Saakashvili – In August, the President of Georgia provoked a stupid war with Russia that left tens of thousands of Georgians dead and homeless. He then took $30 million in U.S. reconstruction aid and built a five-star boutique hotel and condo complex. Saakashvili needs a Saak-of-sneakers tossed at him, immediately.

2. Robert Mugabe – Zimbabwe’s dictator would rather see everyone in his country dead than relinquish power. His most recent crime: allowing a cholera outbreak to spread through the country’s water supply. He blames it on a foreign conspiracy, not his failure to maintain Zimbabwe’s water treatment plants. Health experts believes tens of thousands will die as a result of Mugabe’s most recent stupidity. There aren’t enough shoes at the Zappos.com warehouse to throw at his head.

1. Burma’s military junta – When Category 4 Cyclone Nargis devastated Burma in May, the goons who run Burma like their plantation were not only unprepared, but refused to admit foreign relief workers. Approximately 150,000 innocent Burmese lost their lives. The junta needs to buried alive under a Foot Locker store.

Don’t miss the Top Five Best-Named World Leaders of 2008. Everyone who reads it will receive $100 from the Bill Gates E-Mail Tracker Fund.

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BARACK IN IRAQ: Obama visits Basra and meets with Iraqi Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki in Baghdad’s Green Zone today as part of a three-senator congressional delegation.

DON’T SHIVER ME TIMBERS: The Christian Science Monitor reports on former pirate community in South Florida and how it’s keeping out big development.

NEST EGGS: Researchers are cracking open sea-turtle eggs in South Georgia to glean genetic information, which they say doesn’t significantly affect the number of hatchlings since hatch success is only 60-80 percent anyway.

KINGS CRABBY: The recent lawsuit filed against Dexter King by his siblings highlights a growing rift among MLK’s kids.

LEFT BEHIND: Schools await evaluation results to see if they’re in compliance with No Child Left Behind.

UGA: Bracing for potential layoffs to accommodate state-mandated budget cuts.

LIL SCRAPPY: Arrested for lil scrapping.

HELLO, DOLLY: Tropical storm could become hurricane in the Gulf of Mexico Tuesday.

PINOCHLEHEADS: Meet in Riverdale for a tournament.

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Mike Boettcher, a Peabody Award-winning journalist who’s covered conflicts in the Middle East and Africa for NBC News and CNN, is launching a Web venture called NoIgnoring. He’s channeling the ghost of Ernie Pyle and venturing off to Iraq and Afghanistan to tell soldiers’ stories from the warzones.

“We have 200,000 U.S. men and women in Iraq, Afghanistan and the Persian Gulf. The U.S. has seemed to have forgotten about them. We talk about the war, but we’ve forgotten the soldiers and what they are doing,” Boettcher said.

He’s not traveling solo, either — Boettcher’s 21-year-old son Carlos will join him. The two plan to embed with the Fourth Infantry Division and mimic their tours — 15 months in the field, 18 days at home — and post blogs and video reports to the site. The reports will be free for television stations to post on their websites, Boettcher says.

According to various blog posts about the venture, father and son left in late May or June. Interesting fact: Boettcher filed one of the first reports for Ted Turner’s 24-hour news network.

Full disclosure: Boettcher is a friend of mine, but I haven’t spoken with him in months. I googled his name for kicks the other day and came across this news. I wish him and Carlos all the best and look forward to their work.

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From Healing Iraq:

During the five years the United States has occupied Iraq, the Bush administration has created a new state with a number of notable features: A venal, dysfunctional government. A terrorist haven and training ground. A nation so violent and dangerous that 10 percent of the population has fled.

Add to that a new hallmark: Nearly the most corrupt nation on Earth. Only two states out of 180, Somalia and Burma, outrank Iraq in Transparency International’s latest worldwide corruption index.

Read more

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No one can say President Bush isn’t making personal sacrifices for U.S. troops.

From Politico:

Q Mr. President, you haven’t been golfing in recent years. Is that related to Iraq?

THE PRESIDENT: Yes, it really is. I don’t want some mom whose son may have recently died to see the Commander-in-Chief playing golf. I feel I owe it to the families to be as — to be in solidarity as best as I can with them. And I think playing golf during a war just sends the wrong signal.

Q Mr. President, was there a particular moment or incident that brought you to that decision, or how did you come to that?

THE PRESIDENT: No, I remember when de Mello, who was at the U.N., got killed in Baghdad as a result of these murderers taking this good man’s life. And I was playing golf — I think I was in central Texas — and they pulled me off the golf course and I said, it’s just not worth it anymore to do.

Here’s the video.

Is callowness an impeachable offense?

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Doug Teper, the prankster with a cue-ball cranium renowned for the passion he brought to the Georgia General Assembly as a state representative from DeKalb County, is in the belly of the beast and bringing the message of freedom, Jaw-juh style, to the people of northern Iraq.

From the rabblerousers at InsiderAdvantage (scroll down):

It’s OK: Teper’s On The Job

Former Democratic State Rep. Doug Teper of Atlanta has turned up in – of all places – Kurdish Iraq. Here’s what he said in a recent e-mail:

“I am consulting with a nonprofit organization called the National Democratic Institute For International Affairs. NDI provides practical assistance to civic and political leaders advancing democratic values, practices and institutions worldwide. At critical moments of transition, NDI’s method is to introduce experts-political party leaders, civic organizers, election officials, and legislators- to those in need of information, guidance and encouragement. I am working with the Political Party Development group training Iraqi political parties in political campaign election organizing.”

Teper said he’s living in a secured compound that has a recreation facility (”tv, darts and, yes, even a self-stocked bar.”) The gig lasts six weeks but could be extended.

He served in the Legislature through 2004.

If you’ve ever been witness to The Wonder That Is Teper, his addition to a warzone would strike you as bizarrely fascinating, although not entirely unexpected. This appears to be Teper’s dormant blog, which is a little glimpse into the mind of the man.

(Photo courtesy of state House of Representatives)

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DOUG COLLINS: State rep from Gainesville, who’s also an Air Force Reserve chaplain, to be deployed to Iraq in September.

ONE FOR THE ROAD: Hawks play one in Boston tonight before returning to Philips Friday.

SHAD STATE OF AFFAIRS: Because lock valves on a Savannah River dam have failed, leaving the gates stuck shut, biologists on Tuesday manually moved spawning shad in the Savannah River upstream to shoals near Augusta so they can lay their eggs.

CLAYTON SCHOOLS: New corrective superintendent’s contract pays him $1,187.50 per day and allows him to take 45 percent of his time off; the school system is set to lose its accreditation in 124 days. Also, the state attorney general’s office is demanding that the Clayton school board address allegations that it illegally closed public meetings.

GWINNETT SCHOOLS: Gets AAA, the highest possible rating, from two agencies that evaluate financial stewardship.

LONG, STRANGE TRIP: Father of LSD Albert Hofmann dies at 102.

WRIGHT BACK ATCHA: Obama denounces his former pastor.

THE BREAST THINGS IN LIFE: WSB reports on a website (NSFW) that allows women to post photos of themselves, nude if they choose, to solicit donations for breast implants. WSB gets fair and balanced by quoting Georgia Christian Alliance’s Sadie Fields to wax philosophical on the nature of porn. Guess what? She says it’s porn.

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Yo, America.

American casualties in Iraq are up for the third straight month.

If you insist on focusing your attention on the idiotic ramblings of a narcissistic, ill-tempered religious figure, how about focusing it on one whose ramblings mean life-or-death for thousands of Americans and Iraqis.

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ARMY RECRUITING WITH VIDEO GAMES AT SIX FLAGS: Shoddy armor, amputations, PTSD, and lack of adequate post-war medical care not pictured. (Photo by Alex Gibbs)

Back in the day, game makers boosted sales of military-themed video games by making them seem like the Army. Now, with two endless, aimless wars depressing recruitment, the U.S. Army is taking the converse approach – trying to get young Americans to join the army by convincing them war is like a video game.

The Virtual Army Experience is a touring Army recruitment video arcade which stopped at at Six Flags Over Georgia last weekend. Children in the park were invited to “experience” life in the Army via a short video combat mission. After completing the mission, the kids got a recruitment pitch.

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The U.S. and Iraqi governments claimed the Feb. 1 suicide bombing of a Baghdad pet market was carried out by two women with Down syndrome duped by al-Qaeda into carrying the bombs.

Subsequent reporting has uncovered that, other than the fact that the women didn’t have Down syndrome or any evident ties to al-Qaeda, the governments’ claims were spot-on.

Remember, these are the same people who keep telling you the surge is working.

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From the BBC:

The scale of the overall displacement is unprecedented in the modern history of the Middle East.

The huge displacement of people inside Iraq appears to be contributing to the further fragmentation of the country.

There are now an estimated four million Iraqis who have been forced to flee their homes, and the numbers continue to rise, according to the UN refugee agency.

And this country has spent the last month debating the appropriateness of Gen. David Petraeus’ nicknames.

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The United States’ top officials in Iraq, Gen. David Petraeus and Ambassador Ryan Crocker, testified before the Senate on Tuesday, Sept. 11.

Sen. Saxby Chambliss, R-Ga., who sits on the Armed Services Committee, and Sen. Johnny Isakson, R-Ga., who sits on the Foreign Relations Committee, had just eight and seven minutes, respectively, to ask important questions about the war’s progress.

“And let me echo the thanks of everybody else here to you gentlemen, number one, for providing the kind of leadership in a very complex world at a critical point in the history of the world, the kind of leadership that’s really needed right now; and also compliment you on what you’ve had to go through for the last 24 hours.”

— Sen. Chambliss’ opening remarks to Petraeus and Crocker

“General Petraeus, Ambassador Crocker, thank you very much for your service. We all admire you.

“I think it’s instructive to me that the New York Times poll yesterday, General Petraeus, trusted — 60 percent of the people trusted you to make decisions and 20 percent of the people trusted us. So I think we ought to all pay attention to what you’ve got to say.”

— Sen. Isakson’s opening remarks to Petraeus and Crocker

“You’ve been worn down and asked every conceivable question that could have been asked about what’s going on in your part of the world. But there are a couple of things that I want to get to.

“First, General Petraeus, we were very pleased to have you stop by Georgia on your way from Baghdad to Washington and to visit Fort Benning over the weekend and to see the next generation of Petraeus qualify as airborne qualified, as he graduated from jump school.

“I know you’re just as proud of Stephen as he is of his dad. So congratulations to you there.”

— Sen. Chambliss, on Petraeus’ recent stop in Columbus, Ga.

“The president in his speech outlined three specific goals before we went in. One, to depose Hussein and find weapons of mass destruction. Second was to allow the Iraqis [to] have free elections and write a constitution. And third was to train their military sufficient to protect that fledgling country.

“The way I see it, goals one and two have been done.”

— Sen. Isakson’s sunny distillation of the Iraq war thus far

“Ambassador Crocker, you have to dodge verbal bullets, which sometimes are more penetrating than the real ones, I know.”

— Sen. Isakson compares answering questions before the Senate with war. Isakson served in the Georgia Air National Guard during the Vietnam War. He was stationed at Ft. Dobbins.

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PEACE RALLY AT COLONY SQUARE: “Can you please gimme until Friday before you cash it?”

(Photo by Joeff Davis)

Every Friday for the past five years, Atlanta Women’s Action for New Directions, WAND for short, has been protesting the Bush administration’s bone-headed foreign policies outside Colony Square in Midtown. Translation: They knew this war was a bad idea seven months BEFORE it started.

Last Friday, WAND had a bigger-than-usual turnout marking the grim anniversary. The protesters demanded that Georgia’s congressional delegation act to end the war immediately, and encouraged passers-by to pressure our reps and senators with phone calls.

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Every Georgian has anted about $1,470 to support the war in Iraq. Or, as the group Georgians Against Escalation in Iraq has calculated, Georgia’s share of the $456 billion war cost is $13.2 billion. There are about 9 million Georgia residents.

The anti-war group, supported by MoveOn.org, released its report today.

Other than the monetary cost, more than 100 Georgia military personnel have been killed in Iraq.

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Wonkette reports Atlanta prostitute “Tori” is deploying to Baghdad next week.

Her mission: to offer “a quick reminder of home” to some of the war zone’s private contractors.

Tori describes herself as a “petite and mature provider” and a “bundle of sensuality” who will “excite your senses and ignite your passion.” The Erotic Review notes that her D-cup breast implants are “super nice.” Good to know.

To learn more about Tori, follow the links provided on the two pages I linked above. Be warned, none of them are appropriate for the office.

Unless you work in Tori’s office.

(Thank you Thomas Wheatley for the Wonkette link)

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Reuters headline from 1:03 p.m. today: “Sept report on Iraq will tell it straight: Petraeus”

Translation: “Previous Iraq War reports full of shit: Petraeus”

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“Every time I go over there the improvements in the conditions are truly amazing,”

– Sen. Saxby Chambliss, R-Ga., on his visit to Iraq last weekend.

What Chambliss doesn’t realize is he actually visited Bizarro Iraq: a blissful, parallel-universe Iraq designed and built by the Bush administration to impress Republican senators.

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