Fresh Loaf

Imagine that. Somewhere in the legislative process, a piece of chest-thumping Dixieland legislation about the Civil War morphed into — a bill about Civil Rights?

Last week, Gov. Sonny Perdue signed a bill sponsored by state Sen. John Bulloch, R-Ochlochknee, that designates April as “Confederate Heritage and History Month” — a 30-day tribute to one of the country’s darkest periods and the first holiday of its kind in the country. I know, you’re shaking your head, saying “Oh, dear God, those mouth-breathing lawmakers are at it again.” Quite understandable if you just look at the name of the monthlong holiday.

But the actual language of the bill that ultimately passed might surprise you. And for all the negative publicity the bill had the potential to attract (and oddly enough didn’t), you wonder why lawmakers decided not to point out an olive branch — designating a Savannah museum as an “official Georgia historical civil rights museum” — that was inserted into the bill.

First, let’s take a look at the bill when it was first introduced:

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Every year, Georgia lawmakers drop some rather eccentric bills in the hopper. Surprisingly, not all of them become law.

“…and upon successful [implantation] on the uterine wall, each blastocyst shall be allotted two (2) troy ounces of 18-karat gold bullion, to be held in trust by the mother or court-appointed agent…”

— Rep. Bobby Franklin, R-East Cobb, from the “Embryos and Ingots Act of 2009”

“…the Ascended, having no further claims upon [said automobile], may be deemed to have effectively transferred title to nearest remaining family member or other designee Left Behind …”

— Rep. James Mills, R-Gainesville, from the “Post-Tribulation Property Settlement Act”

“Whereas, saw palmetto has worked wonders for the prostate glands of many in this [elected body] … the General Assembly hereby orders the second week of April be declared ‘Saw Palmetto Week’ within the borders of this state.”

— Sen. George Hooks, D-Americus, from a self-explanatory resolution

“…this paragraph shall not apply to any person…who traps beaver upon the [public rights-of-way] … for the purpose of preventing, reducing, or stopping damage…resulting from beaver activity …”

— Sen. John Bulloch, R-Ochlocknee, from an actual bill to allow registered persons to trap beavers.

(Photo by Joeff Davis)

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Every year, some oddball pieces of legislation are proposed under the Gold Dome. Some of this year’s wackier ones: A ban on the mandatory implantation of microchips, a rampant problem that’s destroying families; a much-needed law that would allow beaver-trapping on public rights-of-way; and a dual-chamber resolution telling D.C. that Georgia don’t want no stinkin’ “Mob Museums” built here with Obamabucks.

One of the perennial crazy bills: The push for a month-long holiday that most of the state already celebrates 365 days a year.

From the Los Angeles Times:

Georgia state Sen. John Bulloch, a Republican who sponsored the bill recognizing Confederate History Month, said the observance would help tourism, particularly in areas with Civil War battlegrounds. It is no different, he said, from Black History Month.

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