Fresh Loaf

The Lord of the Rings: Conquest
Rated T for Teen
Released on Jan. 13
Developed by Pandemic Studios
Released by Electronic Arts

The Lord of the Rings saga, available in both book and convenient film formats, has always prioritized grandeur, pageantry, silly names, and ridiculously bloated lengths. A straight-up hack’n’slash button-mashing game adaptation might seem at odds with all that, but it’s not inherently a bad concept. The idea does have at least one major strike against it, though. It’s 2009, and Lord of the Rings is about as fresh and exciting as Jay Leno. The caboose to this Tolkien gravy train should’ve come chugging along a good while ago. Even Star Wars merchandise fell off the map between Return of the Jedi and the late-’90s special editions. Yeah, the first couple of Lord of the Rings tie-in games were surprisingly good at the time, but that was back when the title of “worst president ever” was still a twinkle in W’s squinty eye. Middle Earth and its characters are no longer exciting to visit in and of themselves, so any game will have to approach them in a fresh or novel way.

Unfortunately, little about Lord of the Rings: Conquest is fresh or novel in any way. (more…)

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Based on director Peter Jackson’s third film, Dead-Alive, you’d never imagine that New Zealand’s famed filmmaker would become one of the world’s most successful and honored screen artists, thanks to his Lord of the Rings trilogy. Originally titled Braindead but renamed Dead-Alive for North America, the “splatstick” horror-comedy depicts a shy young man who discovers that his domineering mother has turned into a zombie thanks to the bite of a Sumatran rat-monkey. Wikipedia alleges Dead-Alive to be “the goriest movie ever made and it currently holds the world-record for the most fake blood used in a single movie.” The Plaza Theatre presents Dead-Alive at 9:30 p.m. on Tue., Oct. 14 as part of “Splatter Cinema,” so expect the most splattery entry yet in the monthly film festival. This trailer has a sense of humor:

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