Fresh Loaf

ACTING SHMACTING: Tommy Wiseau shows how overrated talent can be in 'The Room.'

The Room arguably qualifies as one of the worst films ever made, but I’m not sorry I saw it. I’m only sorry I witnessed its shlocky attempt at eroticism on DVD instead of with a group, like the Plaza Theatre’s upcoming screening Tues., Feb. 17 at 9:30 p.m. Barely noticed upon its original release in 2003, The Room has inspired a fanatical cult following that includes Hollywood cool kids such as Paul Rudd and David Cross. The Room invites joyous ridicule at midnight screenings like The Rocky Horror Picture Show for a new generation.

Most cult films involve loopy subject matter, such as Rocky Horror’s alien transvestite musical or Plan 9 From Outer Space’s extraterrestrial grave robbers. The Room’s plot proves utterly mundane as it follows a San Francisco love triangle between a theoretically lovable banker named Johnny (auteur Tommy Wiseau), his bored, gold-digging fiancée Lisa (Juliette Danielle), and Johnny’s best friend Mark (Greg Sestero).

The Room’s fascination comes in large part from Wiseau’s bizarre screen presence. Overly pumped up, dressed in black, and with long black tresses framing his half-closed eyes, Wiseau looks like the kind of mob henchman Jean-Claude Van Damme would kick in the face in the first reel. His slurry European accent and challenges with emotional intonation make simple statements sound otherworldly. His would-be anguished exclamation “You are tearing me apart, Lisa!” has become the film’s de facto catchphrase. (Fittingly, Wiseau will appear on an upcoming episode of Adult Swim’s surreal “Tim & Eric Awesome Show, Great Job!”)

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I know the Coen Brothers have won Oscars for Fargo and No Country For Old Men, while The Big Lebowski has emerged as one of the definitive cult movies of our time, but my heart will probably always belong to their second film, the Southwestern screwball comedy Raising Arizona from 1987. Two future Oscar-winners, Nicolas Cage and Holly Hunter, play a desperate childless couple who resort to kidnapping one of the infant “Arizona Quints,” reasoning that the parents “have more than they can handle.” When The Plaza Theatre screens Raising Arizona at 9:30 p.m. Fri., Jan. 30, look out for some of the Coens’ favorite actors as well as references to other movies. For bonus points, consider the similarities between No Country for Old Men’s implacable hit man, Anton Chiguhr, and Raising Arizona’s Lone Biker of the Apocalypse:

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Since Halloween takes place next Friday, The Silver Scream Spook Show at The Plaza Theatre celebrates a little early with 1955’s Bride of the Monster, screening at 1 and 10 p.m. on Sat., Oct. 25. Notorious director Ed Wood depicts a mad scientist (Bela Lugosi) with a hulking manservant (former wrestler Tor Johnson), a suspiciously rubber-looking octopus and a plan to create a race of “atomic supermen.” It’s marginally better than Wood’s Plan 9 From Outer Space, in much the same way that being hit with a 10-pound weight is “better” than being hit with a 20-pound weight. One of the best scenes of Tim Burton’s Ed Wood biopic re-creates Lugosi’s fight with the octopus, as shown in this hilarious clip with Johnny Depp and Oscar-winner Martin Landau. Here’s the original trailer:

In addition to the shlocky movie, the Silver Scream Spook Show features comedy from host Professor Morte and bawdy retro entertainment from Blast-Off Burlesque.

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Based on director Peter Jackson’s third film, Dead-Alive, you’d never imagine that New Zealand’s famed filmmaker would become one of the world’s most successful and honored screen artists, thanks to his Lord of the Rings trilogy. Originally titled Braindead but renamed Dead-Alive for North America, the “splatstick” horror-comedy depicts a shy young man who discovers that his domineering mother has turned into a zombie thanks to the bite of a Sumatran rat-monkey. Wikipedia alleges Dead-Alive to be “the goriest movie ever made and it currently holds the world-record for the most fake blood used in a single movie.” The Plaza Theatre presents Dead-Alive at 9:30 p.m. on Tue., Oct. 14 as part of “Splatter Cinema,” so expect the most splattery entry yet in the monthly film festival. This trailer has a sense of humor:

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