Fresh Loaf

This morning, a top-secret vessel of some sort — probably a manned missile capable of completely destroying our freedoms — was spotted near the Gold Dome.

The pilots of these mobile weapons — weapons, mind you, that could cripple the United State’s robust automobile industry — are so proud of their mission that they now brazenly maneuver around the state Capitol. Fictitious sources say this stealth chariot of death was not an escape pod for Bernie Madoff, who was in the city this morning shooting a rap video at a prison before he enjoys a well-deserved vacation in North Carolina.

KNOW YOUR ENEMY

After the jump, the spy attempts to evade CL’s roving Homeland Security unit.

(more…)

Bookmark It

Guest blogger Charles McNair gives his eyewitness report from the front.

The little community of Flounder sits only a few miles off I-75. Here, short weeks after the Russians pulled out of Georgia, signs of invasion remain widespread.
Morning sunlight streams through a dozen bullet holes in the Welcome To Flounder sign. The town lies in ruins – apparently the Russians caved in most awnings on the old brick buildings along the town’s only paved street, and their cruel vandalism collapsed several roofs. Refrigerators, tires and mounds of valuables — obviously forced from houses by the ransacking soldiers — litter roadsides. The only sign of life is a lean hound, her teats nearly dragging the ground. Is she searching in vain for her newborn puppies, brutally seized by the invaders?

A burned car sits by the road, and other disabled vehicles of all shapes and sizes – pick-up trucks, all-terrain vehicles, even school buses – clutter front yards. Up a wooded hill, a black tornado of vultures circles something dead or perhaps just very smelly. (more…)

Bookmark It