Fresh Loaf

On Wednesday, the federal 11th Circuit Court of Appeals in Atlanta issued a ruling in a decade-old court case about nude dancing and, frankly, I’m perplexed by its decision.

First, a little background: About 15 years ago, Marietta passed an ordinance forcing its adult-entertainment establishments to choose between offering nude dancing and alcohol. Knowing it would end up in court, the city based its actions on studies conducted by municipalities in other states that showed a correlation between nudie bars and an increase in crime and a decrease in nearby property values.

The city ended up winning in court. Goodbye, Taj Mahal.

A few years later, Fulton County decided to follow suit, but reasoned that it could make an even stronger case by conducting its own local study showing the link between nude dancing, booze and crime. Problem is, the finished study showed precisely the opposite — namely, that there was less crime immediately around strip clubs because they typically have on-site security. Oops.

Fulton did a second study, which confirmed the findings of the first; then a third study, which county officials tried to bury because they didn’t like those results, either.

For years now, the county has fought a winless battle in court — specifically, Fulton Superior and Georgia’s Northern District federal — to have its own studies disregarded. Until now.

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Looking for your daily dose of how backwards and baffling metro Atlanta can be? We suggest you take a gander at this “crime analyst manager” job listing recently posted by the Sandy Springs Police Department!

According to the listing, candidates itching to pinpoint crimes in the well-heeled city that prays at the altar of privatization must also be ready to spread the WORD OF OUR LORD.

Not mentioned: Job seekers must also occasionally drive to Berry College and exorcise foul hell beasts.

UPDATE: Sandy Springs has snatched down the wacky wording, as you’ll learn if you try to use the link above — but, thankfully, Google caches never die!

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Tomorrow night marks the 26th annual National Night Out, which is being celebrated at several locations across metro Atlanta.

No, I’d never heard of it, either.

Apparently, it’s some kind of family-friendly community get-together that’s billed as a crime- and drug-prevention event — presumably because if you’re out at a community get-together with your family, you’re not breaking into houses or carjacking councilmen. (Frankly, I always get a chuckle when anti-crime events are sponsored by Target, but maybe that’s just me.)

Anyway, a number of communities are taking part in the festivities, including:

• Castleberry Hill, where the thrills include a tour of Fire House #1 and a flashlit walk down Peters Street.
• Midtown, where participants will be treated to snacks, children’s entertainment and a meet-and-greet with neighborhood patrol officers.
• Sandy Springs, which is pulling out all the stops with information on how to sign up for or start a Neighborhood Watch program; the Fire Safety House, which provides a hands-on learning environment; fire trucks and police cars; meeting police officers and firefighters; and information on how to be safe in an emergency.

Woowee! For added excitement, you can wear a plaid bow tie and volunteer to be a designated driver.

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Residents will return to the streets of Atlanta all this weekend to voice their support for Iranian democracy.

Locations for this weekend’s protests, which are supported by Amnesty International and the American Friends Service Committee:

Friday (today), June 26, 6:30 p.m.
Lenox Mall on Peachtree Street

Saturday, June 27, 6 p.m.
Roswell Rd. NE & Johnson Ferry Rd. NE, Sandy Springs

Sunday, June 28, 4 p.m.
CNN Center, Marietta Street at Centennial Park Drive

Last Saturday, nearly 200 residents gathered at the CNN Center in dowtown Atlanta to voice outrage over the violent crackdown on Iranians who contested the controversial re-election of President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. CL captured photos and video of the rally.

(Photo by Joeff Davis)

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Sheree Whitfield, one of stars of the Bravo’s televised clusterfuck “The Real Housewives of Atlanta,” will appear in Georgia Supreme Court on Monday to argue a Fulton County court’s refusal to grant her alimony and a new trial.

In court documents, Sheree’s attorneys say the lower court erred when it didn’t grant alimony to the reality-TV star. Her ex-husband, Bob, is a former Atlanta Falcons player who now operates several successful businesses, including a recording studio that earns him $50,000 annually.

His lawyer says Sheree has received more than enough compensation and is delaying a move out of the $2.6-million Sandy Springs residence awarded to her in the divorce.

“The trial court left no stone unturned in regard to determining the assets and incomes of the parties,” [Bob Whitfield's] lawyer argues in the briefs. From the divorce, she receives a total yearly income of $113,422. In addition, she gets a portion of three NFL retirement programs. His attorney argues she should be fined $2,500 for bringing a frivolous appeal solely for the purpose of delaying the time when she’ll have to vacate the Sandy Springs home.

Whitfield, as we’ve mentioned, is one of the four “real housewives” who’ve recently fallen on hard times, and in the process, become even more “real.” The television show was recently picked up for a second season by Bravo and is sure to be another trainwreck of exurban charity dinners, awkward cocktail parties and montages of makeup-caked women getting pedicures. It will be a triumphant success.

Full summary of the Whitfields’ case, including numbers, names and a smorgasbord of factoids, follows after the jump.

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• POWER OUTAGE: Nearly 200,000 homes in Michigan without power after winter storms. Now the Midwest is bracing for possible floods.

• LORDS OF DOGTOWN: Skaters in Fresno, Calif., are taking advantage of the skyrocketing foreclosure rate.

• SIGN OF THE TIMES: Newly incorporated cities Milton, Johns Creek and Sandy Springs having trouble finding their footing.

• FOR THAT HOURGLASS FIGURE: Atlanta’s Spanx will sell “mirdles,” aka man girdles, next year.

• DIRTY BIRDS: Heading to the playoffs. Falcons head coach Mike Smith asks, “Why not us?”

• BARGAIN HUNTING: After-Christmas shoppers are pickier than in years past.

• AULD LANG SYNE: Check out CL’s one-stop shop for New Year’s Eve events around the city.

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There’s a rumor going around (mostly peddled by Peach Pundit’s Erick Erickson) that Rusty Paul, a former state Republican Party head, has been trying to build support for a potential bid to unseat Sue Everhart, the current GOP chairwoman.

Paul says it ain’t so.

“I have not made a single call to a single person seeking support for a run for party chair,” says Paul, who already serves on the Sandy Springs City Council and runs his own political consulting business.

But, as is often the case, the rumor may have the details wrong, but it’s on target with regard to the underlying issue. Fact is, there’s a rift in the party right now over what went wrong during the lackluster election season.

Sure, the state GOP eventually managed to hang on to the U.S. Senate and PSC seats, and didn’t lose any ground in Congress, despite facing a top-o-the-ticket threat from the Obaminator. But Georgia is still a really red state and a sitting Republican senator who hadn’t been caught in bed with a dead girl or a live boy (more…)

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Gather ’round, Atlanta, Marietta, Sandy Springs — according to the Brookings Institution, your carbon footprint is shrinking. Everybody gets a gold star.

The Washington, D.C.-based think tank has released a study of the carbon footprint from transportation and residential energy uses of 100 metropolitan areas. The three-city survey conducted from 2000 to 2005 in our neck of the woods shows that our impact has decreased 4.75 percent while that of the average metropolitan areas and nation has increased 1.1 percent and 2.2 percent during this time, respectively. In all the rankings, the three cities hovered in the middle.

Hard to believe, eh? I know what you mean. That could be chalked up to the fact that the areas are more-or-less near one another, that a lot of other metro Atlantans travel from as far off as Gwinnett and Hall County to work in the city core, etc. The output surely hasn’t reduced because of public transit. With how sprawling metro Atlanta is, the three cities selected may not be suitable samples.

The study also doesn’t take into account our food supply, which according to a consultant with Mayor Shirley Franklin’s Sustainable Atlanta initiative, makes for up to a quarter of our carbon footprint that’s often overlooked.

What are the solutions? Researchers say:

Federal policy could play a powerful role in helping metropolitan areas—and so the nation—shrink their carbon footprint further. In addition to economy-wide policies to motivate action, five targeted policies are particularly important within metro areas and for the nation as a whole:

• Promote more transportation choices to expand transit and compact development options
• Introduce more energy-efficient freight operations with regional freight planning
• Require home energy cost disclosure when selling and “on-bill” financing to stimulate and scale up energy-efficient retrofitting of residential housing
• Use federal housing policy to create incentives for energy- and location-efficient decisions
• Issue a metropolitan challenge to develop innovative solutions that integrate multiple policy areas

Marilyn Brown of Georgia Tech, considered one of the leading researchers in energy policy, co-authored the study. After the jump, feast upon the numbers. To view the full study, click here.

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Speaking of passports  …

Miami Dolphins linebacker Channing Crowder apparently told a reporter he thought he might need a translator while he’s in London for Sunday’s game against the Giants in Wembley Stadium. He also confessed to being ignorant of geography.

I swear to God. I don’t know what nothing is. I know Italy looks like a boot. I learned that.

“I know (Washington Redskins linebacker) London Fletcher. We did a football camp together. So I know him. That’s the closest thing I know to London. He’s black, so I’m sure he’s not from London. I’m sure that’s a coincidental name.”

If he’s joking, the 2002 North Springs High School grad is a funny man.

If he’s not, then, well, remind me to not procreate in the Sandy Springs school district.

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Last night the Sandy Springs Board of Zoning Appeals rejected developer John Portman’s plan to build a 69-foot-tall, 27,500 square-foot palace on Northside Drive. Sandy Springs limits the maximum height of private homes to 40 feet.

Atlanta’s alternative daily is on top of this. Check out this telling passage from this morning’s great story by Cynthia Daniels.

After all, [Portman] said, he could have built a 40-foot-high home closer to the street — at the land’s highest point. Instead, he decided to hide the home in a ravine so that although its average height would be 69 feet, it would sit lower than a 40-foot-high home built on the ridge.

Or, he could have subdivided the 12-acre property for a five-home cul-de-sac.

Translation: Oh, lowly neighbors, you should be grateful to me for wanting to build this monstrosity. Think of all of the things I can build there that you’ll hate even more.

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John Portman wants a bigger house.

The 83-year-old architect and developer responsible for Peachtree Center, as well as most of the big buildings surrounding it, is asking Sandy Springs for a building variance so he can build a 70-foot-tall, 27,500-square-foot home at 5193 Northside Drive.

City ordinance caps the heights of single-family homes at 40 feet. Portman will be at Sandy Springs City Hall on Thursday at 7 p.m. where he will argue that rules made for single-family homes shouldn’t necessarily apply to palaces.

No word yet on whether Portman’s new home will be connected to nearby buildings via elevated, see-through walkways.

(Note: If you’re wondering what the title of this post means, you should click here and then here.

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