Fresh Loaf

HI-OH! Make some room on your mantel, Gingrich

Remember a few months back when Newt Gingrich’s D.C.-based American Solutions for Winning the Future (really, what a fucking ridiculous name) “mistakenly” named Allison Vivas, president of the adult film company Pink Visual, its “Entrepreneur of the Year” for 2009?

Our extended kin at the Washington City Paper reported the story and, in the process, created the coolest URL in the history of the Internet. Everyone had a laugh.

The biggest bummer in the series of events was that Gingrich’s staffers realized their mistake. They then canceled a private dinner with Vivas, slamming the brakes on what surely would’ve been a deliciously awkward moment between the former House Speaker and the woman behind such legendary films as Monster Cock Junkies and Double Penetration Tryouts. In a perfect world, that dinner would’ve taken place Wednesday night.

The City Paper’s Dave McKenna exchanged emails with Vivas yesterday. He asked her how she spent what should’ve been an intimate dinner with Das Newt.

And guess what? Ole Newt’s getting an award!

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Syndicated columnist and curmudgeon Dick Yarbrough offered a unique solution this weekend to curb public sex in two Cobb County parks well-known for cruising:

“With a little instruction, dogs could be taught to severely dislike the gay lovers in Burruss and Wildwood [Parks] and bite them in the fanny and do what City Council should have done years ago – chase them off to Atlanta where they belong. Assuming that works, we will then tell the canines that cell phone users are really just possums with bad attitudes. The dogs will take it from there and then maybe the rest of us can have a little peace and quiet in Glover Park.”

Wow, this column serves to raise, like, so many interesting questions. How would we train these hounds to “severely dislike the gay lovers?” And “chase them off to Atlanta where they belong?” Hmm, not too clear on what you mean by that, but OK! Another: Why is Dick Yarbrough paid to write this stuff?

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Noelle Mcllwaine, a boudoir photographer at Divine29 Studios, takes scintillating but tasteful photos that are sure to bring sexy back to your bedroom.

What attracted you to this form of photography?
I believe each photographer sees things differently. Each photographer has their own view. I feel that the human form is so beautiful. A lot of women need a boost, and they want to capture themselves at a certain age when they feel really gorgeous. Everyone needs at least one “narcissist” picture.

Who is your typical client?
I don’t really have a typical client. I have men and women who are getting photos done for their spouse, a lot of couples stuff, and artistic nudes. I always tell people that I won’t shoot anything I can’t edit in front of my kids. The pictures that I take are meant to be hung up on your wall and shown to your friends. I want your mother to think it’s the most beautiful picture she has ever seen.

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The City of Marietta, the bustling metropolis up I-75 where people are all pissed off about President Barack Obama shutting down fighter-jet production and big government hating on cigarette lovers, is once again tackling A.L. Burruss Park, a cloistered wooded area near Dobbins Air Force Base and Life University that’s well-known for “cruising.”

If you grew up in Marietta, like I did, you often heard about the police busts and TV news teams conducting “investigative reports” at the 46-acre park. Men would often drive to the park from around metro Atlanta, walk into the woods, and meet for casual or anonymous sex.

The Marietta Daily-Journal reports today that city government is now wondering what the hell to do with the place, where police have made as many 10 misdemeanor arrests in one month. There are talks of turning it into standalone greenspace or even closing it for several years to curtail the illegal activity.

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This week, the Washington City Paper’s Mike DeBonis struck gold with a story about former D.C. Mayor Marion Barry’s most recent scandal.

Which one’s that? You might have heard about it.

From the City Paper:

In mid-June, Donna Watts-Brighthaupt had an encounter with Ward 8 Councilmember Marion Barry. Watts was driving around, taking care of some personal business, when Barry caught sight of her. He made a point of getting her to pull over, and the two quickly got involved in an intense discussion.

The exchange hinged on their roughly yearlong relationship, a bizarre one even by the standards of one of the District’s most-watched womanizers. As Barry attempted to stake out his position on their fortunes, Watts-Brighthaupt was quick to point out the ways in which she felt mistreated. One stood out:

“You put me out in Denver ’cause I wouldn’t suck your dick,” Watts-Brighthaupt yelled at Barry, according to a tape recording of the conversation.

That’s a way to grab the reader’s attention. We recommend you check out the City Paper’s story (yes, that above is the cover), complete with audiotapes.

(Courtesy Washington City Paper)

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The Macon Telegraph, of all places, reports via the Associated Press:

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Cruising, or the act of meeting people for casual and/or anonymous sex, has always been whispered about as Piedmont Park’s most well-known after-hours recreational activity.

On May 28, however, the city was jostled by an early morning killing inside the city’s most iconic greenspace, a crime Atlanta Police think might have been related to cruising. (Police are still searching for a suspect in the case.) Somewhat surprising: According to an email from the APD Zone 5 supervisor to Midtown residents, police found more than 12 people, most with nearby residential addresses, loitering in the park the night after the killing.

The Southern Voice has posted a video tour of the park’s alleged cruising trails. Along its winding path, SoVo’s unidentified cameraman discovers various objects — used condoms, crushed energy drinks, a copy of the redesigned AJC. Be sure to check out the excellent article about cruising in Piedmont Park written by SoVo’s Dyana Bagby.

After the jump, a 1983 video of a Piedmont Park cruising spot that apparently no longer exists.

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Yes, this is the only photo of The Cheetah we have in our database

So Monday’s Memorial Day, and everybody’s trying to tie up loose ends and meet early deadlines so they can take the day off work to light sparklers, eat barbecue, and watch Short Circuit on ABC Family.

Turns out we’re not the only ones.

Atlanta’s most beloved family-entertainment megaplex, The Cheetah on Spring Street, has issued a press release to inform field-trip coordinators, sex-positive patriots and wayward frat boys that it too will be closed on Monday.

The National Museum of Patriotism on Baker Street,  however, will be open.

Dancing resumes Tuesday at 11:30 a.m. No cover before 4 p.m. and we’re told the lunch menu is actually quite fantastic.

(Photo by Joeff Davis)

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According to Illinois’s attorney general, Craigslist will drop “erotic services” from its online classified ad service.

Perhaps this means alt-weeklies will once again become the place men turn when they’re shopping for exotic divas who enjoy massaging prostates.

(Photo by Joeff Davis)

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Meet Neal Horsley. The longshot candidate for Georgia governor for the Creator’s Rights Party (warning: graphic images) is everything this state needs.

He’s techno-savvy:

Neal Horsley made national headlines when he posted the names, phone numbers and addresses of abortion doctors online. His “Nuremberg Files” website also crossed off the names of doctors as they were killed.

He works well with all God’s creations, evident in this article’s headline:

And he’s a family man! Horsley, the father of a U.S. Army sergeant, basically says in an interview with the Examiner’s Dylan Otto Krider that he’d kill his son if the young man tried to stop Georgia from seceding. Krider writes that Horsley thinks the best way pro-life advocates can overturn Roe v. Wade is to “take over a state, then hole up and wait for the United States army to come for a kind of Alamo last stand.”

Well, at least he’s candid. Former CL senior editor Steve Fennessy profiled Horsley in 2004. Read Krider’s interviews with Horsley here and here. If you’re not eating lunch, it’s a good time to learn about the perils of mule sex. And it’s exactly the kind of weird-ass journalism for which Fridays were made.

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The Capital City of the South might have lost its greatest chance to truly put it on the map.

Sports blog Monkeys Throwing Darts reports that the Atlanta Steam, the city’s first-ever — PERHAPS LAST?!? — professional lingerie football team has relocated to…Charlotte. North Carolina is kicking our ass, people!

From the blog:

The Atlanta Steam of the Lingerie Football League has officially been relocated to Charlotte. I actually found out last week, but I was waiting for confirmation. They were unable to find a find a venue, which is just shocking following the cancellation of the last two Lingerie Bowls. From what I was able to gather, The Arena in Gwinnett and the Georgia Dome turned them down. I learned of the Charlotte move before I was able to complete my backyard bleachers and submit a proposal.

Monkeys Throwing Darts has more info, as well as hilarious commentary.

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Mauricia: I’m drinking more to forget what’s going on. I’ve been unemployed for almost two years. But when it gets better, we’ll all be in a better place. Until then, I’ll continue to live life in a loving, fun way so that I don’t miss a day of appreciation and gratitude for what I have. Everything happens for a reason. I understand I’m on a path, and I’m not going to be bummed out about whether I have money in my pocket. And by drinking more, I eat less, so I’ve lost weight.

Clay: I work in a bar. The only way to make money right now is to network with other bartenders. So I’m constantly going out and drinking at other places to encourage them to come into my bar, so I make money off of them. It’s all one big family. I’m trying to build a clientele with service-industry people, so I’m always out drinking. It’s the not greatest thing. I also attempt to have a little bit more fun to encourage people to come by so they see my personality as a bartender. You’re constantly selling yourself.

Julie: It hasn’t affected me at all, because I’m a stripper. I make too much money for it to affect me. It’s just a working girl’s way of making it through without a man. People spend more during a depression on stripping and drinking, because they want to feel good. The naked body is an expression of life. You’re supposed to celebrate it. But I drink only on a select occasion because my body is what I live off of. I love to party, but I work hard on my body and keep it in pristine shape.

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Falicia Blakely, in 2004

Back in 2004, CL Senior Editor Mara Shalhoup chronicled the story of Falicia Blakely, a young woman who’d pleaded guilty to the murders of three men.

Shalhoup interviewed Blakely at the DeKalb County jail, not long after her guilty plea. Here’s the ensuing two-part story, which earned first-place prizes for feature writing in the 2005 Clarion Awards and the 2005 Association of Alternate Newsweeklies Awards.

Learning to hit a lick

Falicia Blakely was a 16-year-old dancer when she met a pimp 11 years her senior. Within two years, she’d be a prostitute facing the death penalty for three murders.

Aug. 15, 2002

Falicia stretched out on the floor of the apartment and, finally feeling ready for anything, pulled from her purse a .32-caliber Sauer & Son pistol. Nobody seemed to care. Doc was on the phone. Ray and Pumpkin were playing solitaire on Ray’s laptop. In front of the four of them, the sliding glass door framed a sky about to reach out and swallow the sun, to take the edge off the heavy August heat. Since the afternoon, when they began partying, the cover of clouds had lifted, loosening the morning fog and mist so that only broken fragments remained. And still no rain. It hadn’t rained in weeks.

They’d kept it to tequila and weed for the most part, some ecstasy and blow for later. Falicia had shown up at Ray’s hours ago, under the pretense of bringing him ecstasy pills. But as always, it was expected she hang out when she delivered the drugs. With Ray she didn’t mind. They’d been doing business for more than a year. She liked him. Unlike most men she knew, Ray had helped her out of more than one bad scene, had picked her up when she was in trouble, had listened to her rant when she was scared or pissed off. He was a welcome change.

She herself was easy to do business with. All long legs and slow curves, eyes like a sphinx and skin like bitter Godiva. She was only 18 – not that she let on – and full of fast talk, a little ghetto at times, but tinged with just enough girlish sass to disarm.

But not today. Something was different about her today.

Continue reading ‘Learning to hit a lick’ …

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PEEP HOLE: Jaclyn Jose as Nayda in 'Serbis'

A Golden Palm nominee at the 2008 Cannes Film Festival, Serbis is like no multi-generational slice-of-life film you’ve ever seen. Philippine director Brillante Mendoza sets his bumptious drama at a failing adult movie house in the sprawling Philippine city of Angeles. The Pineda family not only manages the porn theater, but they also live under its roof, just a few flights of stairs away from films such as Bedmates and Young Screwpine.

Serbis’ first scene sets a tone of exhibitionism and voyeurism, as a teenage daughter vamps in the nude before a mirror while her schoolboy nephew peeps at her. The ironically named Family movie theater practically simmers with surging libidos. A young would-be painter lances a boil on his buttock in an early close-up, which interferes with his girlfriend’s subsequent visit. The Pinedas presumably turn a blind eye to the down-low prostitution that accompanies the screenings, as young rent boys and she-males ask “Serbis?” to prowling movie patrons. Serbis resembles the bawdiest work of novelist John Irving, or perhaps trash filmmaker John Waters most serious moments.

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First come the slots. Then come the men cavorting with white tigers and the true artistes! But until then…baby steps.

And today, the Atlanta City Council voiced its support  for a plan that could drastically change Underground Atlanta and bring gambling — well, video lottery terminals — to the long suffering downtown attraction. Council voted 11-0 to approve a resolution supporting the proposal and form a committee to study the project.

Underground Atlanta leaseholders Dan O’Leary and John Aderhold say a remake of the area could bring jobs and much-needed revenue to the city. The two recently proposed a $500 million redevelopment plan that would convert Underground Atlanta’s 12 acres into a complex featuring a 29-story hotel, restaurants, shops and lottery terminals.

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Antonio, Detroit: I would have spent my money. Any improvement would help. Maybe the people of Atlanta aren’t ready for it. Maybe they’re scared. But once they get it, they’ll like it. There’s always rumors. People say it’s going to take from the community or that [casinos] are not going to put back into the community, but they do in Detroit. We have three. They’ve helped out in the schools. Atlanta needs to catch up. Lot of youth down here, but no older people. It be a lot more fun with casinos.

Felicia, Seattle: No. I’m happy that it’s not here. I don’t like the implications of it. It’s taking food from people who can’t afford to do it, and there are plenty of places to go for people who can afford to do it. I like coming down here and seeing real people, not people trying to take someone else’s bucks. There are plenty of places outside Seattle to gamble, but none in the city. It would take away from the family atmosphere around here. It’s so nice. Just regular people all over here with families.

Anna Goiânia, Brazil: Oh hell yes! Yeah, yeah. Definitely. Way better. That would have been a lot of fun and brought in a lot more people here. I gamble in Brazil. What’s great about gambling in Brazil is that they don’t ask for ID. So if you’re twelve years old, you get in. I like to gamble. It’s fun. [Underground] is nice. It’s different, and I always like something that is different. Have met a lot of people, gone shopping for gifts and definitely would have gambled.

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1. Woodstock lawmaker hates edumacation (BJs and prostitutes and legislators — oh my.)

2. Beltline, Amtrak, GDOT maps and more! (Looks like some serious wonks are reading Fresh Loaf. Hi guys!)

3. Piedmont parking deck foe gets award (Parking decks bad. People who hate parking decks good.)

4. Homer Simpson’s worst nightmare (Everybody lusts after donuts — almost as much as they lust after … )

5. Lust List 2009: The Countdown ( … super-sexy unsung Atlantans.)

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Juliana at Blog For Democracy points out that U.S. Rep. Tom Price, R-Springfield, need not kvetch that the stimulus plan includes $30 million to save some mice. After his theatrics, which included waving around what looks like a cat toy, it turns out the stimulus, in fact, does not earmark money for the rodents.

Decaturite wonders how blogs can be robust tools to connect communities as newspapers continue to dwindle in size and shape.

Sara agrees that “video lottery terminals” are not what a casino make. Griftdrift brings the thunder on the issue and wins 10 points for best blog post title of the day. Two points for great art, too.

Atlanta Business Chronicle columnist and blogger Maria Saporta says not to believe the Georgia Department of Transportation and Amtrak’s assertion that much-needed commuter rail running into a still-unbuilt downtown train terminal doesn’t have to run along tracks for the Beltline near Piedmont Park.

Ben at Terminal Station has a bunch of good posts. Most recent: He’s not too upbeat about the fact that Atlanta City Councilmember Mary Norwood leads in a poll for the next mayor.

A giant bowl of strawberries in your bathroom. Style, indeed!

Jim Galloway posts a moving account of Freddie Norman, a Cobb County police whose patrol car was struck by a drunk driver 21 years ago. Norman, who was left nearly comatose from the accident, died this weekend.

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Why is it that if you film an act of prostitution and call it porn, suddenly it’s legal? The only difference I can see is that the male performer is also being paid, but that can’t be the case for all pornography.

– Adler, Toronto, Canada

Just imagine the arraignment: The prosecutor says, “Your honor, the video recording in question shows defendants Mr. Long and Ms. Luvzit engaging in coitus in what appears to be a baseball dugout. Defendant Luvzit is wearing a cap, stirrup socks, and cleats, while defendant Long is dressed in the top half of an umpire’s uniform. After several minutes of explicit sexual activity, during which time defendant Luvzit is heard to moan, yell, and exhort defendant Long to continue (repeatedly complimenting him on his “command of the strike zone”), defendant Long withdraws and ejaculates in full view of the camera.”

Read more Straight Dope.

(Illustration by Slug Signorino)

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A Gold Dome rule of thumb is that an erroneous premise should never stand in the way of an opportunity to grandstand, pander and basically make a clown of oneself. The ball started rolling when Rep. Calvin Hill mistakenly assumed GSU offers classes on oral sex and prostitution.

“I’m personally outraged that our taxpayer money is supporting professors, that this is what they’re offering as their services.”

— Rep. Calvin Hill, R-Canton, as quoted in the AJC

Rep. Byrd

“Did you know the state universities offer special-interest classes and expertise on male prostitution, queer theory and oral sex? Yes!”

— Rep. Charlice Byrd, R-Woodstock, in a video she posted to YouTube

“I am sad that members of the GSU faculty had to … defend their vital research … because of ridiculous allegations.”

— Rep. Karla Drenner, D-Avondale Estates, in a Feb. 11 speech from the House well

“It’s been taken sideways by people who like the titillating words.”

— Rep. Calvin Hill, quoted in the AJC blaming the media for reporting on the issue

CORRECTION: An earlier version of this post had the wrong district for Calvin Hill.

(Photo by Joeff Davis)

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1. MARTA mugging victim fights back … now on YouTube (Move over, Soulja Girl.)

2. ‘Battlestar Galactica’ fulfills its ‘Oath’ with latest episode (In times of economic distress such as these, it’s best to bury oneself in sci-fi fantasy.)

3. Tussle with Amtrak and GDOT could kill Beltline vision (How many more blows below the belt can the Beltline take?)

4. How Adult Swim’s Tim & Eric got so awesome (Embracing discomfort, irony and randomness)

5. Atlanta sex club stirs up trouble in D.C. (Pig sex, anyone?)

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It’s difficult to imagine a person less suited to making important public policy decisions than state Rep. Charlice Byrd, R-Woodstock.

This is because Byrd, a former elementary school teacher, is 1. a poorly informed reactionary, 2. an ultra-partisan ideologue, and 3. a complete idiot.

I feel I can say all this with authority after watching her new YouTube diatribe, in which she duplicates a speech she delivered from the House well on Friday.

Like the Gilda Radner SNL character Roseanne Roseannadanna – only much, much sadder – Byrd has no idea what she’s talking about. She’s outraged that Georgia’s public universities offer “special-interest classes” on such topics as “male prostitution, queer theory and oral sex.”

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By now you’ve surely seen the comments state Rep. Calvin Hill, R-ThisThatAndTheOther, made yesterday about how ENRAGED he was that taxpayer dollars were paying the salaries of Georgia State University profs considered scholars in the fields of oral sex, queer theory and male prostitution.

An enigmatic scribe at Pecanne Log reminds us of the hardships GSU has endured to become a group-sex friendly learning institution:

Georgia State has lagged behind other colleges in the state for decades in terms of student life due to its designation as a commuter school. The most flourishing and attractive part of any higher education institution’s campus life is, of course, its orgies. GSU has spent the last ten years playing an expensive catch-up in order to also be labeled an orgy-friendly research institution.

She goes on to carefully detail just how much the university has accomplished — occupying the Sodom and Gomorrah-esque Olympic Village, building group study rooms with viewing windows, etc. You can see why these women won our Best Local Blogger award, people!

Take note, Rep. Hill: This is bigger than budget shortfalls! Try and rob us of our oral sex experts and the erotic legacy GSU has struggled to build and you will see a protest on the statehouse steps unlike any you’ve ever seen before!

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Underground Atlanta executives announced last week that a gaming company has offered to spend $450 million to turn the downtown retail complex into a casino with video slot machines and a 29-story hotel.

“Casino gambling in neighboring states would take away from Georgia’s convention and tourism business. Let’s roll the dice. Georgia can’t afford not to.”

— Fulton Commissioner Robb Pitts, from a 1994 presentation titled “Gambling: On Georgia’s Mind”

“Statistics show that thousands of people from the Atlanta area travel weekly to venues that feature casinos and other games of chance.”

— Councilman Jim Maddox, from a 2003 resolution urging state lawmakers to allow gambling

“Let’s be courageous and allow the citizens of Georgia to vote the issue of legalizing casino gambling up or down!”

— Robb Pitts, from a Dec. 4 open letter to state lawmakers

“There’s a general sense that we’ll see gaming within the city limits and I concur.”

— Mayor Shirley Franklin, speaking to state lawmakers in November

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Folks have long talked about the possibility of gambling at Underground Atlanta, often from the standpoint that legalized gaming may be the only way to make the city-subsidized white-elephant finally solvent and to revive lower downtown. Fulton Commissioner Robb Pitts has kept the issue in the public with frequent pro-gambling statements. And, as recently as mid-November, Mayor Shirley Franklin told state lawmakers she would be willing to explore gambling licenses as a way to generate revenue for the city.

Well, it looks as if some developer has finally taken the bait. The AJC reports that Underground operator Dan O’Leary has announced that a company is interested in filling the near-dormant mall with 5,000 video slot machines and building a new high-rise hotel onsite.

The project would cost about $450 million and would be expected to generate $600 million in gross annual revenue, half of which might go to the Georgia Lottery Board. Is it a coincidence that the lottery board would have a large role in deciding whether the proposal goes forward?

Actually, the legal hurdles to installing a casino in Underground are not that high. The site is already designated by state law as Georgia’s only “special entertainment district,” which means that many legal restrictions that apply everywhere else — Sunday alcohol sales, for instance — don’t apply there. The city doesn’t have the authority to license a casino without state approval, but surprisingly few laws would need to be changed to make it happen.

If there’s the will, there’s definitely a way.

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