Atlanta’s 11 Least Influential People: No. 9
Sunday, November 9th, 2008Atlanta’s 11 Least Influential People is Creative Loafing’s annual tribute to the Joe and Josephine Averages of the world who try, but don’t necessarily succeed.
Winners 11 through six will be revealed, one-per-day, until Wednesday, November 12, when the 11 Least Influential issue hits newsstands.
WILLIAM TELLULATER: Will.i.am.not.getting.any
No. 9 — William Tellulater
Can’t find anyone in Stockbridge to hook-up with.
William Tellulater (as in, ‘I’ll tell you my real last name later’) is a half-assed Henry County Romeo.
William claims to want have sexual relations with people in and around Stockbridge.
We think this because William has a Facebook group called “stockbridge” where membership is based on “Common Interest — Sexuality” and the group’s description is listed simply as “meet locals — hook up.”
Unlike most people trying to leverage the power of social media to find a mate, William includes no photos of himself smiling, laughing, flexing, or holding a beer bottle while leaning into a friend who is also holding a beer bottle. William does not tell you what kind of music (if any) he may like, what TV shows (if any) he watches, or whether he was elated or disappointed by Tuesday’s election results.
William doesn’t even reveal if he wants to have sex with men, women, or both.
All he offers is an e-mail address, and an open invitation to “hook-up.”
Not surprisingly, of Stockbridge’s more than 22,000 residents, only one has seen fit to join William Tellulater’s online hook-up club: William Tellulater.
