Fresh Loaf

1. The Cheetah, one of Atlanta’s favorite strip joints, is a patriot (More patriotic than the National Museum of Patriotism? Maybe.)

2. Georgia is South Korea (At least when it comes to sizing up human development. And yes, Georgia ranks above Mississippi and Alabama — and even Florida!)

3. CL’s Thomas Wheatley is a finalist for national journalism award (Wheatly’s on the Association of Alternative Newsweeklies’ shortlist for “Sober.” Hooray!)

4. Ga. GOP primary: A sad and soul-crushing spectacle (State Rep. Austin Scott apes McCain at the state GOP convention.)

5. Huey Lewis — err, Mike Evans — calls for Pelosi’s resignation (Congressional wannabe issues unexpected and hilarious press release. U.S. House Speaker doesn’t blink.)

(Photo by Joeff Davis)

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Yes, this is the only photo of The Cheetah we have in our database

So Monday’s Memorial Day, and everybody’s trying to tie up loose ends and meet early deadlines so they can take the day off work to light sparklers, eat barbecue, and watch Short Circuit on ABC Family.

Turns out we’re not the only ones.

Atlanta’s most beloved family-entertainment megaplex, The Cheetah on Spring Street, has issued a press release to inform field-trip coordinators, sex-positive patriots and wayward frat boys that it too will be closed on Monday.

The National Museum of Patriotism on Baker Street,  however, will be open.

Dancing resumes Tuesday at 11:30 a.m. No cover before 4 p.m. and we’re told the lunch menu is actually quite fantastic.

(Photo by Joeff Davis)

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Mauricia: I’m drinking more to forget what’s going on. I’ve been unemployed for almost two years. But when it gets better, we’ll all be in a better place. Until then, I’ll continue to live life in a loving, fun way so that I don’t miss a day of appreciation and gratitude for what I have. Everything happens for a reason. I understand I’m on a path, and I’m not going to be bummed out about whether I have money in my pocket. And by drinking more, I eat less, so I’ve lost weight.

Clay: I work in a bar. The only way to make money right now is to network with other bartenders. So I’m constantly going out and drinking at other places to encourage them to come into my bar, so I make money off of them. It’s all one big family. I’m trying to build a clientele with service-industry people, so I’m always out drinking. It’s the not greatest thing. I also attempt to have a little bit more fun to encourage people to come by so they see my personality as a bartender. You’re constantly selling yourself.

Julie: It hasn’t affected me at all, because I’m a stripper. I make too much money for it to affect me. It’s just a working girl’s way of making it through without a man. People spend more during a depression on stripping and drinking, because they want to feel good. The naked body is an expression of life. You’re supposed to celebrate it. But I drink only on a select occasion because my body is what I live off of. I love to party, but I work hard on my body and keep it in pristine shape.

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1. East Atlanta neighbors stand up against crime (Ken Womack’s eavBuzz.net helps folks monitor their ‘hood — in real time.)

2. GDOT Commissioner Gena Evans fired (Chief of beleaguered transit agency later tells CL her sob story.)

3. Piedmont Park residents not cool with tunnels under Atlanta (But the rest of the city thinks they’re pretty awesome.)

4. Smart-growth guru smacks Atlanta (Andres Duany is to Atlanta what Toby Young is to overcooked fish.)

5. Strip-club arson case gets seamy (How could it not?)

(Photo by Joeff Davis)

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Yellow nails? She must be a smoker!

Amount Georgia lawmakers want to raise the price of cigarettes to offset a $2.4 billion deficit: $1

Georgia’s current tax on cigarettes: 39 cents

Nation’s average cigarette tax: $1.19

Estimated revenue the proposed cigarette tax would generate for the state: $350 million

Estimated tax revenue that would be raised if Sunday alcohol sales were allowed: $4.8 million

Number of signatures on an online petition calling for alcohol to be sold in stores on the Sabbath: 52,070

Dollar amount of a proposed “pole tax” that state lawmakers want strip club patrons to pay at the door: $5

Price of admission after 10 p.m. on a regular night at the Cheetah: $10

Minimum estimated revenue that could be generated if casinos were built in Atlanta and along the Georgia coast: $600 million

Sources: AJC, Associated Press, Distilled Spirits Council of the United States, PetitionOnline.com, TheCheetah.com, 11Alive.com

(Photo courtesy of Photos.com)

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Now that Adam “Pacman” Jones faces two felony charges stemming from a strip club melee in Las Vegas that preceded a triple shooting (which left one of the victims, a security guard, paralyzed), his career as an NFL cornerback is in serious jeopardy. As is his immediate freedom.

Obviously, Jones didn’t learn his lesson in Vegas — his crew was involved in a shooting incident early Monday morning at a strip club on Memorial Drive.

ESPN’s ever-present John Clayton says it may be a long time before Jones — already suspended for a year for conduct unbecoming a player — ever steps foot on an NFL field.

What has to be remembered about Commissioner Roger Goodell’s initial ruling is that Jones was given no assurance he would be allowed back into the league in 2008. It’s becoming more and more likely that Jones is going to have a difficult time being cleared of his legal troubles by November.

Jones’ most recent incident over the weekend illustrated the [Tennessee] Titans cornerback isn’t taking his situation seriously. Whether he was guilty or innocent of any crime, Jones was out with friends at around 4 a.m. and has knowledge of his friends having some involvement in a shooting incident outside of a strip club.

One of Jones’ conditions to get back into the league was promising to not be out past midnight. He’s violated that provision at least twice. Earlier this spring, he was driving without a license at 12:45 in the morning.

If convicted of the charges in Vegas, Jones faces up to 12 years in prison. According to police in Vegas, the melee there started when Jones was showering dancers with money from a black plastic trash bag. It’s a form of tipping referred to as “making it rain.” When two dancers began to fight over the cash, Jones allegedly grabbed one by the hair and punched her. Which brought security. Which escalated into gunfire.

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ESPN.com’s Tim Keown has a novel idea about Pacman Jones, the metro Atlanta native and Tennessee Titans cornerback … at least before he was suspended for the upcoming season by the NFL. Jones has been questioned by police 10 times since being drafted in 2005, including April of last year when police identified him from surveillance video diving for cover after shots were fired at a Nashville gas station.

Jones has been arrested five times. But the good news is this: Jones has not been convicted of any crimes since being drafted in 2005.

Just as Jones was saying he’d learned his lessons, etc., etc., he and his friends were allegedly involved in a fight inside a Memorial Drive strip club at 4 a.m. Monday that led to a shooting outside. Says Keown:

It’s time for the word “pacman” to become a verb. This latest incident, in which members of Pacman Jones’ entourage allegedly shot at another unknown entourage outside an Atlanta-area strip club around 4 a.m. Monday, clinches the deal. “To pacman” needs to become part of the lexicon.

“To pacman” means to repeatedly do a stupid thing while professing to understand its stupidity. For example: Dude pacmanned himself when he kept going to strip clubs with his gun-toting friends even after it cost him millions of dollars. Pacman Jones said he was going to change his life. That was a few weeks ago, and we have to be fair here — from the time he said he was going to change his life until the early hours of Monday morning, he wasn’t wanted for questioning by the police.

He is now, though, but there’s a positive spin here, too. Police say that Pacman wasn’t present when the shooting took place, so he’s just wanted for questioning and not for prosecution.

Call it progress. It just goes to show you the power of pacmanning. You have to wean yourself off. You can’t go cold turkey.

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