Fresh Loaf

FILL 'ER UP: This mug ain't for coffee.

We left off last week down one U.S. senator, one paid assassin, and a whole lotta Jack’s cred. This week, Larry Moss was on site at Sen. Mayer’s house, “investigating” the politico’s murder and playing effortlessly into the bad guys’ hands. Moss truly is this season’s answer to the blindly bureaucratic impediment to progress (formerly held by such brown-nosers as Miles Papazian (Stephen Spinella) in previous seasons). Jack brings Tony up to speed on evildoers and bio-weapons and whatnot via cell, while Moss unleashes the sass on Chief of Staff Ethan Kanin, telling him he advised against allowing Jack to interrogate Burnett a second time. Ethan takes a second, takes a seat and takes his resignation to President Taylor. As Ethan justifies his resignation to the president, he explains his complicity in Bauer’s alleged killing spree. The president responds with, “It doesn’t make any sense!”

Hello??!!! Anyone listening? At least one of season seven’s one-dimensional characters was drawn with a slightly thicker Sharpie. Does this mean that they call off the hounds? Not so much.

Continue reading “‘24:’ Episode 15, 10-11 p.m.”

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YOU HEARD RIGHT: I'm in charge now.

Namaste, recruits! After a long two weeks “Lost” was back last night in an episode lacking in focus but full of small, fan-pleasing moments. To begin at the beginning: We returned to the plane crash, this time from the point of view of the other Others (Planies?), who mysteriously include Sun. After not quite crash-landing on the island, Lapidus gives a half-hearted attempt to organize the passengers, but allows Caesar to play that role as he follows Sun who’s following a shifty Ben.

Turns out, the plane landed on one of the satellite islands — one where our Losties were held hostage in season three. Ben, Lapidus and a newly badass Sun take a boat to the island proper, which is not in 1977 where the Oceanic Four landed, but in present day. After a cameo appearance by Old Smokey, Christian Shepherd emerges from the shadows to reveal that the folks they seek are actually in the past.

One plot down, several to go. As mentioned, last night’s episode didn’t set its sights on one character arc in particular, instead keeping a wide scope on all the new groupings. Whereas the Sun-Ben-Lapidus plot might have taken up an entire episode of its own in seasons past, last night it was barely a footnote in this filler-sode. I say filler not in a “Jack’s Tattoos” way, but in that it literally filled in some gaps in island mythology (specifically Dharma-related). In doing so, it also uncovered the further significance of characters from the past (including Radinsky and, holy horrors, Ethan!), tying it in with our main characters’ present. As the cinematography showcased the island’s dramatic and varied scenery, so too did the plot take us to all all the hills and valleys of our characters new situations.

Continue reading “The Televangelist: ‘Lost’ episode 9″

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NO SHIRT, NO SHOES: At your service

What if the Dharma years of “Lost” had its own spin-off? The U.S. version of “Life on Mars” may not have worked out, but the ’70s were so far out man why not try again, can you dig? This week’s episode felt so out of time and so far removed from where we’ve been the past few weeks (with the Last Days of Bentham and the O6 Reunion Tour), it was nice that the episode was still peppered with familiar tidbits from the future past: the sonic fence, Horace, Richard, Dharma Merlot.

Three years forward and 30 years back, the island has stopped skipping and those on it find themselves in the land of Dharma. As Faraday explains, “The record is spinning again, we’re just not on the song we want.” The Misfits (Sawyer, Juliet, Jin, the Ghost Whisperer Miles, Faraday) immediately cause trouble by offing two Hostiles in the midst of an afternoon picnic that ends up as a mini-massacre. Though James “I used to lie for a living” Sawyer/LaFleur schmoozes his way into Dharma’s good graces (and also Horace’s … remember him?), Richard comes back to ask about his lost men, assuming Horace and company have broken the truce. Sawyer, using his time-traveling knowledge of Locke and the Jughead, convinces Richard that he’s not his enemy … but also not his friend. One would think Richard would be a little more interested in these revelations, but as far as we know, all he wants is slain Dharma employee Paul’s body to do who knows what with. OK then.

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STEP RIGHT UP: To be continually disappointed

Twists! Turns! Shocks! Drama! Until this season, “The Bachelor” train had blissfully passed me by without note.  Sure I knew one or two girls who’d been on the show in the past, but not well enough to really care deeply about how it turned out. On a whim I flipped to the show a few months ago and — unfortunately for my pretentious television taste — never looked back.  The show’s high drama is addicting, and like the early rounds of “American Idol,” (another show I avoid) is full of crazies for the first few episodes. But what made this season of “The Bachelor” stand out was the Bachelor himself. Seattle resident Jason Mesnick may not be the most handsome or amazing guy in the world, but he’s divorced with a young son to whom he’s devoted, which gives the show a new and very genuine twist. The gimmick worked for ABC: The show’s drawn unexpectedly high ratings. As families in America become more complex, perhaps Mesnick’s situation resonated with viewers in a way that past boy-meets-girl romance shows have not.

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LET'S MAKE MEMORIES: As only Tim Riggins can

As “Friday Night Lights” reaches mid-season, it becomes clear that most of the show’s narrative arcs and resolutions this time around are contained and resolved within a mere episode or two. There were always side stories and longing glances and relationship talks in earlier seasons, but they were overshadowed by something bigger, overarching: the aftermath of Jason Street, the state playoffs, whether or not Coach Eric Taylor can make it in Dillon. Perhaps it’s the knowledge that this season may be the show’s last that has the writers tying up lose ends and saying bon voyage to past characters by way of college or careers. (Smash is gone; Street’s gearing up to go; and it looks like even Tyra and Riggins will be making it to a post-high school education on their own terms.) Regardless, the relationships among our core Dillon denizens remain compelling and often unlike anything else on TV, no matter how small the scale.

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TRUST ME: I haven't even tried to kill you.

In the first season of “Lost” I was absolutely on Team Jack. I would have followed him to the caves and lived there as Adam and Eve no problem. Locke, on the other hand, I despised. “Lost” has always been keen at creating divisions and factions and then subverting them.  Over the course of the show, Jack grew less and less likable whereas the once creepy John Locke became an unlikely hero and possibly (if fan theories are to be believed) the very soul of the island.

Last night we were treated to a Locke-centric episode written by Darlton and helmed by frequent lost director Jack Bender. The premise was a game of catch-up in the form of a whirlwind journey through “Jeremy Benthem’s” experiences that were teased last season. Locke is back in the dreaded wheelchair after finding himself in sunny Tunisia, home of island refugees courtesy of Frozen Donkey Wheel Tours, where Charles Widmore is on hand to offer his services and make us believe, once again, that he’s somehow the good guy and Ben is more or less Shiva. If that’s true, then why does Widmore have an assistant named Abaddon (a Hebrew word which translates loosely to “Satan”)?

Lt Daniels Abaddon (played by “Wire” alum Lance Reddick) has been a fan favorite minor character for years.  His name, unexplained presence, and connection to the island have provided him a short but frequently visited Lostpedia page. Given all that, his treatment in this episode seemed particularly unfair and infuriating. First he’s relegated to Driving Mr. Locke and is later unceremoniously executed before we get any deeper sense of his importance. R.I.P. Abaddon. We hardly knew ye.

The main thrust of the episode came in the form of a chess match of manipulation between Charles Widmore and Ben, with Locke as the pawn. We got an Oceanic Six roll call (minus Sun), and saw Locke’s failed (for the nonce) attempts at convincing them to go back to the island, where it appears Locke will eventually be resurrected.

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I CAN READ: Because my mother taught me

Merry Lostnesday! Thanks again to Curt Holman for filling in for me last week when I actually happened to be on a remote island without TV or internet but plenty of crazy. I caught up with the latest episode only hours before this one, and boy howdy, I rejoiced. This has to be my favorite season so far, if only because of the payoffs to theories and setups from the past. I might even go so far as to declare last week’s episode the best one since the Constant (gasp!)

In a recent Entertainment Weekly article, producers Carlton Cuse and Damon Lindelof (known as Darlton from here on out) said our current season 5 was going to be an all-out sci-fi fest (holler!), but that the final season would go back to focusing on the relationships among the characters, a la season 1 (so enjoy this while you can). They also promised the long-awaited Richard back story, a resolution to the “what-the?” regarding the freaky four-toed statue, and of course, more Smokey. For now though, we travel back to L.A. with the Oceanic 6 (minus Aaron) leaving on a jet plane.

After about 20 episodes of dallying (or so it felt), the O6 finally made its way to the island. At the episode’s onset we learned a little bit about the island’s movements and some of its rules. (Why did they all have to go back? To recreate the original plane trip as best as possible to crash again, of course). Sayid is now a fugitive. Hurley shows up out of federal prison, (one would assume, yet with Charlie’s guitar?) and has no trouble getting through airport security. Kate was moody (shouting at Jack, “Don’t ever ask me about Aaron again!” Where is that tyke? And don’t worry Kate, this is “Lost”— no one asks obvious questions). Even Ben shows up at the last possible moment, looking worse for wear, facing no inquiring about his copious injuries (courtesy of Sayid?). The Oceanic Six and Friends are far from the only passengers on the plane, but as far as what’s going to happen to “the others” when the plane crashes, as Ben puts it, “who cares?” The show finally got around to killing off Frogurt and the remaining Red Shirts. The last thing we need is for this plane to be carrying some more Nikkis and Paulos or Tailies 2.0.

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Usually The Televangelist handles the weekly “Lost” recaps, but she disappeared in a flash of white light while paddling on the Zodiac boat, so I’ll be stepping in for last night’s episode, which has the charming title “This Place is Death.” To temper your disappointment, here’s a funny clip that proves that “Lost” almost aired in the 1960s, but was retooled as a comedy and titled “Gilligan’s Island.”

As luck would have it, “This Place is Death” put the spotlight on one of my favorite characters, someone who’s been MIA for months but made a strong return to form last night. I’m talking about, of course, the smoke monster.

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SERIOUSLY: I am sick of hearing about this Jumbotron!

Though we’ve yet to hear the Dillon Panther’s pre-game chorus of “Clear Eyes, Full Hearts, Can’t Lose!” this season, the principles of the phrase were on full display this week. The episode played out as a series of vignettes about battles: choosing them, winning and losing them, and the art of them.

Let’s begin with that juggernaut Jumbotron. On the advice of one Katie McCoy, Tami sets out to “kinda stalk” the school board president in hopes of swaying him in her direction — a tactic already employed by the ever-enterprising Buddy Garrity on the links at the country club. Despite letting her hair down and wearing a summery tank top (I’ve never seen a principal look like that!), Tami’s attempts to woo fell flat as her passions about the Jumbotron funds being more useful to hire back teachers and gain supplies turned her into what Katie McCoy would call “the angry woman nobody likes.” Tami knows here her battle is lost, but Coach Taylor offers some soothing and wise words: “Because you stood up for what you believe in, in that sense you won. At the very least make them feel guilty!”

Then we have the knee-injury-battling Smash Williams, whose narrative arc seems to be coming to a close.  I always thought it a shame that Smash’s character was written so one-dimensionally, even though he showed off some personality while hanging out at Landry’s house when Landry started waxing poetic about his failed relationship with Tyra. Smash says jokingly to Saracen, “Let’s go. It’s getting sad and weird in here and I need to keep my mood up.” Now that Jason Street is gone (though his name is still mentioned in passing, leading me to believe we’ve not seen the last of him), Smash has become Coach Taylor’s pet project. His attentions and support finally paid off this week, with Smash given a chance at a walk-on practice at Texas A&M, proving he still has what it takes to be a winner in all respects. In an emotional final scene, Smash gives a big smile as he moves on to the next stage in his life — one outside of Dillon that includes college — the same dream shared, but not often achieved, by so many of his peers.

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INVASION OF THE BABY SNATCHERS: Kate already has too many men in her life anyway.

After three action-packed, mind-blowing episodes, “Lost” slowed down the pace tremendously this week, despite the desperate tremolo of violins priming us for high drama.  We launched immediately into a refresher course on Jateyer 101 (that would be the Jack-Kate-Sawyer triangle of love).  For those who’d forgotten, Kate totally does love Jack! Except that whole thing with Sawyer … and Sawyer still loves Kate, yada yada, bored with it. As Miles would say, “Hooray, everything’s back to normal … now what?”

Did anyone else get the uncomfortable late season 2/early season 3 feeling of useless filler in this episode? Claire’s mom turned out to be a giant red herring whose only purpose might be to show that there’s a lawyer in LA who’s very busy with island-related happenings.

Now that I’m watching “Lost” on a week-by-week basis, I maintain my assertion that the show is a dish best served in generous proportions. Still, “Lost” being “Lost,” there were plenty of redeeming moments. For one, even after being in a coma for 42 hours, International Badass Sayid is at the the ready to “handle” his attackers. The number 42 cropped up a few times in this episode — the sort of winky, layered nuance fans enjoy — along with Brian K. Vaughn’s (who co-wrote the episode) particular brand of ironic humor. Take this gem from Locke for instance, “I want [the Oceanic Six] to come back, even if it kills me.”  Yeah, about that … (more…)

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FINGER LICKIN' GOOD: Tim Heidecker (left) and Eric Wareheim

Tim Heidecker and Eric Wareheim are human beings. We can all agree on that. But does that disqualify them from being honorary cartoons?

True, they’re not particularly exaggerated in appearance. Tim looks like the towheaded, pie-faced boy next door all grown up, while Eric’s a bespectacled, sideburned galoot with plenty of height and a crooked smile. They were both born in Pennsylvania in 1976 and would draw little attention as white-collar employees alongside the water coolers of Middle America.

The late-night TV audience first glimpsed the duo’s animated alter egos when they played the title characters in “Tom Goes to the Mayor” on Cartoon Network’s Adult Swim programming block. Since 2007, they’ve appeared in the flesh as the stars of Adult Swim’s “Tim & Eric Awesome Show, Great Job!” a surreal but emphatically not-animated sketch comedy series. Using green-screen technology to plop themselves into seemingly any environment, Tim and Eric play a host of weirdos, including tone-deaf singers whose faces drip with eczema, half-deranged corporate pitchmen, and would-be swingers obsessed with shrimp and white wine. (more…)

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DR. STRANGELOVE: or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Dismantled a Bomb

For those of you who missed last week’s episode, this was the best part. Speaking of, there was a definite lack of the Oceanic Six this week, and I can’t say I minded. Instead, we were treated to happenings on the island, plus an update on everyone’s favorite time-traveling sailor, Desmond.

As far as big reveals go, there were quite a few. One, we learn (as most of us suspected) that the angry, volatile, rude British lad from last week was indeed a young Charles Widmore. His connection to the island remains a tantalizing series of questions (How did he get there? What’s his beef with Ben?), but in “Lost” terms it was pretty fast disclosure. I think Curt Holman pointed out in a blog comment last week that Charles Widmore has, until now, remained a pretty standard villain — I’m hoping that as more as his past is uncovered that’ll change.

As a foil to Widmore’s central casting characterization, we should all hail fearless leader Faraday! Faraday remains one of the best and most entrancing parts of “Lost” these days. For one, nothing about his past has ever fallen the way of “Does Sun’s baby belong to Jin?” or “How Jack got his tattoos.” Instead, Faraday’s past is inextricably linked to the island in a way that only he and his husky, sexy whisper-voice can understand fully at this point. Later, in the Annals of Romance, Faraday finally tells Charlotte indirectly that he loves her, and it seems she’s warming up to that skinny tie and the physicist who wears it … until she passes out possibly dies from Time Travel Sickness, that is.

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God certainly was tired on the seventh day and the same seems to be true for “24.” It pains me to say as much, but six hours and one made-for-TV movie into the series’ seventh season and my pulse ain’t pounding like it used to. Preposterous and over-the-top plotlines made “24″ must-see TV. Hell, the show could even make you root for torture. (Make him talk Jack! He wants to kill Americans, the sonofabitch!)

But now, where “24’s” next move used to be utterly unimagineable, it all just feels too contrived, too predictable. Hotwire a car and drive it off the second story of a parking deck crawling with FBI agents? Sigh. Fake kill a woman who was the only one to trust you but now thinks you’ve betrayed her so that the bad guys think you’re one of them? Seen it. Infiltrate a terrorist network with a rogue band of former CTU cohorts because the government can’t be trusted? Yawn.

“24″ set the bar so high from the start that it’s slowly but surely become it’s own cliche. I’m starting to wonder if Jack Bauer can save this one, and dammit, we’re running out of time!

(Photo courtesy Fox)

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