Fresh Loaf

HAULING ASSET: U.S. Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson held a press conference this morning about the federal government’s plan to take all those pain-in-the-ass assets off the hands of struggling financial companies. It’s expected to be the biggest federal meddling in the free market since the 1930s, and markets around the world are digging it.

HADRON COLLIDER: A 30-ton transformer breaks in the world’s largest particle collider, halting the experiment. I can only assume it’s because of black holes.

FLORIDA: Thinks it’s too good for Clayton students.

HEAD-TO-HEAD: NFL commish Roger Goodell issues a warning about helmet-to-helmet collisions following Tampa Bay cornerback Elbert Mack’s skull-rattling hit on Matt Ryan.

DICK CHENEY: Can’t get enough war.

GA. MUSIC HALL OF FAME: Accepting seven new inductees Saturday, including Ludacris and Widespread Panic.

IT’S NOT THE HUMIDITY: UGA prepares to play in the Arizona desert for the first time in its 115-year history.

COKE: Named the No. 1 brand in the world for the eighth year in a row.

LANIER: Five feet away from last December’s all-time low.

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RNC: Fred Thompson, Joseph Lieberman and a not-too-close President Bush regaled John McCain during the first full day of convention festivities in St. Paul Tuesday. Meanwhile, Ron Paul held his own convention outside Minneapolis Tuesday, rallying his troops behind his libertarian conservatism.

SAVANNAH: May need to evacuate for Hannah, which is expected to be a Category 1 hurricane when it makes landfall Friday. Some scrambling for flood insurance find out it’s too late.

ROTARY CUB: The newborn panda at Zoo Atlanta is back out of the incubator and with its mother, Lun Lun.

TYING UP JUICE ENDS: Coca-Cola is hoping to capitalize on its recent Beijing marketing blitz by making a bid for China’s largest juice company, which would be its second-largest acquisition ever.

DECORUM, BUT NO QUORUM: The new, relatively uncontroversial Clayton school board has just three members, two short of a quorum, but has 45 days to appoint additional members.

UGA: Falls to No. 2 in both major polls despite winning Saturday, as USC’s rout of Virginia leapfrogs the Trojans to the top spot.

CHIPPER JONES: Atlanta third baseman’s quest for the NL batting title is the only silver lining left on the Braves’ dismal season.

CHENEY: The vice president will speak Sept. 19 in North Georgia at the opening-day ceremony for the 145th anniversary of the Battle of Chickamauga.

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PERDUE: Apparently can’t pray away “economic clouds gathering,” calls for millions in budget cuts.

LEGISLATORS: Have better things to do.

NICHOLS TRIAL: Starts July 10, done by Christmas.

CHENEY: Raises $1 million in less than an hour at downtown Hilton, weakly attempts self-parody.

TENNESSEE: Not cool with joining boundary commission.

COMFORTABLY DUMB: Why go to the trouble of smuggling heroin inside your colon if you also just have some in your underwear?

HOUSING VOUCHERS: Not breaking poverty cycle.

WARRICK DUNN: Back with Bucs.

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WATER FIGHT: Now the ball’s in the courts’ court. And the drought will still get worse. At least what water we have left is full of drugs to soothe us.

CHENEY: Coming to Atlanta tonight.

SHARK WEAK: Brunswick fishermen leaving sharks to die on the beach.

“ALTERNATIVE LIVESTOCK”: South Georgia legislator wants to bring deer farming to Georgia.

GLOBAL WARMING: More holier-than-thou environmentalists.

HAMPTON: Hurt again.

CLAYTON: SACS approves of postponing search for permanent superintendent.

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U.S. Rep. Hank Johnson of DeKalb County has joined 10 other members of Congress in co-sponsoring a bill to impeach Vice President Dick Cheney, Atlanta Progressive News reported today.

“I have certainly been displeased with the operations of the Executive Branch, particularly with regard to the secrecy, the incompetence, and the lack of cooperation that is coming out of the Vice President’s Office,” Johnson said in a statement to the online news service.

Signing on to the bill ought to shore up the first-term Democrat’s reputation among local lefties, who weren’t too happy after he beat firebrand incumbent Cynthia McKinney in last year’s Democratic primary.

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