Fresh Loaf

AJC: #1 for #2 news!

For some horrible, unknowable reason, the lead story on AJC.com at this very moment is the temporary closure of Piedmont Park pool today due to fecal contamination.

That’s not a joke. It really is the lead story. With a picture and everything.

The story doesn’t have a byline, so I have no idea if it was reported by the paper’s Senior Swimming Pool Correspondent, the Assistant Editor of Potty Training, or a Miscellaneous Spills reporter.

THIS JUST IN: The QuikTrip at North Druid Hills and Briarcliff roads reports a taquito has been dropped on the floor by a clumsy. I repeat: taquito down!

(A tug at the elastic thigh-band of my Huggies Pull-Ups® to @loriming for alerting me to this, and to Thomas Wheatley, for his Poo-litzer Prize-winning report on the spill earlier this afternoon.)

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The presidential campaign, economy and whisper campaign about this “pundit” will take a backseat in the news today as an alien race named the Federation of Light will visit our perfect world.

According to several believers, a “craft of great size shall be visible within [our skies]” and will land in the southern hemisphere. I’m only mentioning this because “Alabama” has something to do with the landing.

From Blossom Godchild, psychic and channeler (click on “Federation of light” on the left menu, then “The Message”):

TO LEADERS, GOVERNERS, POLITICIANS AND
ALL PEOPLE OF EARTH …

We wish it to be understood that on the 14th day of your month of October in the year 2008 a craft of great size shall be visible within your skies. It shall be in the south of your hemisphere and it shall scan over many of your states.

We give to you the name of Alabama.

It has been decided that we shall remain within your atmosphere for the minimum of three of your twenty four hour periods.

During this time there will be much commotion upon your earth plane. Your highest authorities will be intruding into ‘our’ atmospherics that surround our ship. This ‘security field’ is necessary for us, as there shall take place a ‘farce’ from those in your world who shall try to deny that we come in LOVE.

KNOW OF THIS
WE COME TO ASSIST YOUR WORLD.
WE DO NOT COME TO TAKE OVER.
WE DO NOT COME TO DESTRUCT.
WE COME TO GIVE YOU HOPE.

This blog reported lights over Australia and said the ship was supposed to appear in North America this morning. Didn’t happen. (How awesome is it that Tom Cruise has a paid ad on the site?)

If the Federation of Light does pull through and makes an appearance, please go easy on them. Don’t ask them what they think about the bailout package or if Barack Obama is really a Muslim. These superior beings have more important things to check out while they visit us.

In other news, the Georgia General Assembly will try to arrest these illegal immigrants. CL, however, welcomes its alien overlords and offers free advertising space for their message of love and unity.

(Hat tip to Christa at PecanneLog, who is clearing a landing zone in Eufaula, Ala.)

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