Fresh Loaf

OBAMA: Tries to solidify his standing as presumptive nominee by visiting the House of Representatives and taking a “victory lap,” as the NYT calls it.

BONEHEADED: Without even being asked, teen being questioned about an unrelated crime tells police officers that he and a friend dug up a 1921 grave, stole the skull and made a bong out of it.

ATLANTA NO. 1 FOR SINGLES: Maybe now there actually will be thousands of local singles waiting for our call.

BAN KI-MOON: U.N. secretary-general, while visiting Atlanta, calls for Myanmar to allow in foreign aid workers.

CLAYTON COUNTY: Has the best-tasting water in metro Atlanta.

BURNING TO THE VICK: Judge orders Michael Vick to repay more than $2.4 million to a Canadian bank for defaulting on a loan.

UNIONS FIGHT LAYOFFS: Fired city workers and union leaders say Mayor Franklin didn’t exhaust enough short-term options before laying off 441 employees.

YOU’VE COME A LONG WAY, RABIES: Hall County has its 20th reported case of rabies this year. AccessNorthGa has used one of its finest rabies file photos for this story.

EVENT VERIZON: Girl discovers that a Verizon store manager, while doing an “emergency battery charge” on her phone, sent himself a copy of a revealing photo she had taken of herself on her phone. WSB is so outraged on her behalf that it posted a (cropped) copy of the photo on its home page.

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PEABODYS: Winners of the 67th annual media awards are announced at UGA, including “60 Minutes,” “The Colbert Report,” “Planet Earth,” and CNN, ABC News, CBS News and NPR. Not among the winners, as Spacey Gracey notes at Peach Pundit, is FOX News.

TED TURNER: Tells PBS’s Charlie Rose that global warming could kill “most of the people” in 30 or 40 years, and “the rest of us will be cannibals.”

DOG WILD: Screaming Chinese schoolchildren swarm visiting Georgia poultry official when he pulls out a photo of his dogs.

YELLOW JOURNALISM: WSB-TV Action News covers the pollen onslaught, including this insightful “explanation” from meteorologist Karen Minton: “The skies are filled with pollen as we move into spring.”

GUNS: Bill to allow guns in public transit and restaurants passes the state Senate.

SANCTUARY CITIES: House passes bill outlawing “sanctuary cities” for illegal immigrants in Georgia, even though none exist.

CLAYTON COUNTY: “Bleeding,” according to school board Chairwoman Ericka Davis, who, along with board Vice Chairman Eddie White, announced Wednesday that they’re stepping down in June.

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By Rob Gomes

If there were a “Murder & Mischief Award” among local news companies, WSB-TV Channel 2 News would be the clear winner.

If you haven’t noticed, or are just too scared to tune in, Channel 2 always opens with a murder or mischief story. Granted, they will first touch on the major international stories, but you can bet your last dollar they are gonna do their best to scare the crap out of you with seamlessly random acts of murder/mischief. Yes, Atlanta does have its share of murders and crime, but the other local news outlets don’t lead or constantly tease with these issues.

I’ve been tracking WSB’s “scare them into watching” formula for over a year now. They use this formula every day. Don’t believe me? Tune in right now and find out. If they aren’t covering a murder/mischief story, wait 60 seconds. I guarantee before they head off into a commercial, they are going to tease a murder or mischief story.

Channel 2 news is not fair or balanced. They are intent on gaining viewers by keeping them scared and glued to their TV’s — hoping the non-thinking masses will believe that only Channel 2 has the answer to where the next act of random murder and mischief will happen.

Their current tag line is, “Coverage you can count on.” It should be – “Channel 2 News — If you’re not scared, we’re not doing our job”.

Rob Gomes is a recent LA transplant who “LOVES Atlanta!” He works as a freelance tv/film writer/producer and has produced for Tyler Perry, Turner and B.E.T. He enjoys spending time on the couch with his wife, walking his dog in Grant Park and having a cigar at the Highland Cigar Company.

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