Omnivore Atlanta

I’d like to know.

It’s like, everything I choose to eat is bound to send me straight into Chemoville.

And I wouldn’t be writing this if I hadn’t, on two occasions this week, been bombarded by my best friend and an intrusive old woman at Whole Foods, who both declared that the sugar substitute and the BROCCOLI I was enjoying “will give you cancer.”

So, in an attempt to prove that broccoli, in fact, DOES NOT cause cancer (crazy hag) and to bury my sugar scare, I dug up some helpful information.

It’s Sunday, I bought coffee. I’m using Equal. No calories, does the job. I’ve never been a fan of cane sugar and can’t really pick up the funny aftertaste people complain about with artificial sweeteners. My friend stands next to me at the coffee bar. Her thing is glaring, she glares a lot, and I felt her glaring at my coffee. She made a show of reaching for two Splenda packets, shaking them loudly together and emptying the contents into her cup. I was uncomfortable and chose to ignore her.

She sighed, “You know, my dad told me Equal causes cancer.” She references her dad A LOT, and The Colbert Report.

“Oh yeah?” I asked.

“Yeah,” she said. “That’s why I use Splenda.”

Under the impression Splenda and Equal were practically identical, I researched their ingredients…partly because I thought my friend was spinning a big crock of sugary shit and also because if she wasn’t spinning a big crock of sugary shit I could die any moment now.

Equal vs. Splenda

Equal is considered to be the blue jolt of death in your morning cuppa’ joe since it contains the sweetening agent, aspartame. Aspartame is a harsh word against the eardrum and an even harsher non-saccharide sweetener discovered by a dude at Searle while concocting an anti-ulcer drug.

There were questions in the 1980s about whether aspartame caused brain cancer, so of course, the scientists decided to experiment on rats for initial testing. The Public Board of Inquiry concluded there was not a direct link between brain cancer and aspartame, but did not approve it before additional tests were run.

A lot went down during the pre-approval research. FDA investigators noticed a disturbing amount of missing data and errors pertaining to the study, which made everything look a little cloudy or fishy or both. But somehow in 1981, FDA commissioner Arther Hull Hayes approved the use of aspartame in dry goods. Sixteen years later, aspartame got a big big promotion from the FDA, allowing it to be used in all foods.

No one can tell us with full confidence that Equal will, without a doubt, cause cancer. But what I can tell you, which is a fact I found a bit off putting, is that when aspartame is ingested it breaks down into methanol and formaldehyde (just two among several residual chemicals). Jeepers.

As for Splenda, it does appear to be the lesser of two evils. Splenda contains sucralose (illustration on right) which is four times sweeter than aspartame AND you can bake with it. There have been over 110 studies run to identify any toxic effects of sucralose and none were found.

So, my friend was kind of right I suppose. But the old lady at Whole Foods was SO WRONG. Broccoli DOES NOT cause cancer. God.

(Photos from Wikimedia Commons)

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Tags: Arthur Hull Hayes, aspartame, aspartame pre-approval research, Equal, FDA allows aspartame in all foods, formaldehyde, methanol, non-saccharide sweetener, Searle, Splenda, sucralose, toxic effects of sucralose.