Why will everything I eat give me cancer?!
Tuesday, November 18th, 2008I’d like to know.
It’s like, everything I choose to eat is bound to send me straight into Chemoville.
And I wouldn’t be writing this if I hadn’t, on two occasions this week, been bombarded by my best friend and an intrusive old woman at Whole Foods, who both declared that the sugar substitute and the BROCCOLI I was enjoying “will give you cancer.”
So, in an attempt to prove that broccoli, in fact, DOES NOT cause cancer (crazy hag) and to bury my sugar scare, I dug up some helpful information.
It’s Sunday, I bought coffee. I’m using Equal. No calories, does the job. I’ve never been a fan of cane sugar and can’t really pick up the funny aftertaste people complain about with artificial sweeteners. My friend stands next to me at the coffee bar. Her thing is glaring, she glares a lot, and I felt her glaring at my coffee. She made a show of reaching for two Splenda packets, shaking them loudly together and emptying the contents into her cup. I was uncomfortable and chose to ignore her.
She sighed, “You know, my dad told me Equal causes cancer.” She references her dad A LOT, and The Colbert Report.
“Oh yeah?” I asked.
“Yeah,” she said. “That’s why I use Splenda.” (more…)
