Omnivore Atlanta

Please stop putting trans fats in the dressing that comes with your pre-packaged chicken Caesar salad. You might also want to provide a fork that isn’t so flimsy that lettuce breaks its prongs.

That is all.

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Big news at the Ansley Publix. I was paying for my stuff when I noticed a lot of commotion near the manager’s office. The bag boy (or whatever they call them now) informed me that they had caught someone shoplifting and were calling the police. It seems the man tore open a package of meat and stuffed his pockets full.

This of course instantly reminded me of the famous scene in John Waters’ Pink Flamingos (1972) when Divine shoplifts a steak she later feeds to her family back at the trailer. I could only find a clip without the original dialog but please don’t watch this if you have delicate sensibilities….and I know some of you do.

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One of the suggestions for sensible eating in Michael Pollan’s new book, In Defense of Food, is avoiding anything with ingredients you’ve never heard of.

While I was shopping at Publix a few days ago, I noticed this label on one of its pre-made salads. It includes everything from mold inhibitors and sodium nitrite to corn syrup and “vegetable color.” The potato salad label was even lengthier.

Meanwhile, the store was out of Fuji apples, the dried cherries I eat in my oatmeal every morning and the brown sugar I also put in my oatmeal. The store manager explained to me that there’s a “sugar shortage” because a processing plant burned down somewhere. Who knew?

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I made a salad a few nights ago with ingredients purchased from Publix. The only thing that was any good was the arugula, the fancy stuff that Barack Obama likes.

The shrimp, which I sautéed in olive oil, were utterly tasteless. Organic grape tomatoes had as much moisture in them as dry cotton swabs. Two tangerines were mainly dried out.

I think some stores should start offering a “flavor guarantee.” If the food you buy has awful or no flavor, you would be able to return it for a refund … or maybe for coupons to the Krystal, whose food has better flavor.

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Does appearance matter? Here are a couple of examples of dishes that don’t look like much but are nonetheless yummy. Above is the ratatouille ravioli at Anis, where I had lunch last Friday. It was trendily served in an oversized bowl and the ravioli were submerged in a rather bizarrely brothy ratatouille. On the basis of appearance, I was immediately disappointed. But it worked, especially with a spoon. I liked the touch of some fried capers.

The other pic features my shameless addiction to the fried chicken from the Ansley Publix. Here it is with mac and cheese and that casserole of green beans and mushroom soup you used to eat at church suppers.

It looks so grim but it tastes so good. A better choice than the green beans, by the way, are turnips or collards if they are available.

The stuff is dirt-cheap and I’m not kidding: It’s better-than-average soul food. My New Year’s resolution is to eat less fried chicken, though.

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