I early voted today, and it sucked big-time
October 29, 2008 at 4:00 pm by Wayne GarciaI couldn’t hold out until Election Day to cast my ballot, as much as I wanted to, but the thought of trying to juggle my journalistic duties with my constitutional responsibility to vote got to be a bit overwhelming. So, I thought, I would pop down the street to the West Tampa Library and vote early.
I’ll jump to the conclusion: this paper ballot stuff sucks and I long for the days of the touch-screen machine.
I lit out of the office at about 11:30 a.m. to vote, and after circling the block once found a parking spot. The entire street on the north side of the library was full, as was the parking lot across the street, in back of the post office. I got in line with what looked like about 60-70 people ahead of me, as Obama volunteers handed out literature and a poll watcher came by with bottles of water. The poll watcher made a crack about not having any Scotch to go with the water, and I damned near left the line to go get one. Would have taken the edge off the cold and the wait ahead.
They let people inside in groups of 15, and each group took about 15-20 minutes to cycle through, so I spent about 45 minutes in line outside and another 15 or so inside until I got to the woman manning the voting computer. “Your picture ID, please,” she said. I had to repeat to her my current address, then read a placard that threatened me with jail if I was bullshitting her about anything, then sign my name on an electronic keypad instead of the old paper record. What a pain in the ass. There was an elderly lady next to me who, I swear, like tried to sign the electronic keypad 30 or 40 times without it registering. She apparently couldn’t get it right or muster enough strength to have the pen make an impression. What a nightmare.
After I did all that song and dance, the poll worker hit a button and my paper ballot started spitting out of the printer. This printing process took about 30 seconds or so, as opposed to the digital cards that touch-screens used to have, which took almost no time to program. I then was handed my two paper ballots inside of a “privacy folder” and was directed to a voting booth. The black felt-tip marker at the booth worked, just barely, and I started marking the two pages.
Now, here is where I screwed up.
Damned-near lulled asleep by the long wait, I marked the “yes” and “no” bubbles in one judicial retention race. This is technically called an overvote. I kept marking the ballot and figured, “what the hell, I don’t care about that race anyway and can live with the fact that my vote won’t count in that one race.”
Wrong.
After filling in both pages of the ballot, I walked over to the machine where you feed your ballot in and it is verified. Most ballots go through and, after a screen says your ballot has been accepted it is lodged in the guts of the scan reader.
Not mine. It gets spit back out. “Overvote,” the screen reads.
Shit.
I tell a poll worker, who directs me to another table where misfits, goofballs, folks without proper voter registration and Sidney, Mohammet, Jugdish and Clayton are seated. My privacy folder was surrendered to the poll worker, who filled out a form on a huuuuuuge gray envelope, with my name and the description “Dumbass” next to it (OK, I made that last part up) and then I had to sign my name attesting to my own stupidity and then she carefully, so as not to see how I voted, wrote some of kind words on each of my paper ballots and put them into the spoiled ballots gray huge envelope and then wrote on a tiny slip of paper the numbers 1&2 and told me to get back in line for another ballot.
Back in line. Behind four others. At this point I considered just throwing in the towel and writing off my vote. But I hung in there. Another 7 minutes goes by and I was back at the same poll worker, a nice person, who gave me my first ballots. “I screwed up and have to do it again,” I said with all of the shame of a third-grader who didn’t do his finger-painting right the first time.
After a less-intensive grilling I got my two new ballots and vow to fill in only those races that really matter to me; sorry, judges who want to be retained. By this time, I had lost my patience. I did get it right the second time and fed the ballots into the eating machine and then raced for the door, picking up my prized “I Voted” sticker. I vowed never to cast another ballot in the state of Florida.
Total elapsed time: 1:15.
The thrill of voting in another flawed Florida election: Priceless
October 29th, 2008 at 4:37 pm
My early voting experience was a lot easier. I went to the Temple Terrace Public Library and stood outside for thirty minutes while an elderly lady handed out sample ballots but no water. They have people vote in a revolving system, so I went in, they swiped my ID, I signed the pad, got my ballot, bubbled in my answers, and was out the door in about five minutes. Total time- about 35 minutes. I was told a bunch of people got tickets for parking in the street, though. They had overflow parking in a different lot.
October 29th, 2008 at 4:39 pm
you beat me by 40 minutes. but I only had to vote once…
October 29th, 2008 at 4:39 pm
We waited at the Riverview Library for 90 minutes early Saturday afternoon before we even got in. The folks were nice to hand out water. At one point, fire ants were all over the sidewalk to the right of me. But I couldn’t move because to the left, sewagey (word?) was bubbling up from a manhole (personhole). Eventually they moved the line. It was like running the gauntlet: fire on the right of me, sewage on the left (no Democrat jokes!), here I am, stuck in the middle with you. But I kept thinking of all those people in the U.S. and abroad who have had to go through so much more to vote, even giving their lives. Not so bad after all.
October 29th, 2008 at 4:47 pm
Just think about the practice school children are getting filling in the FCAT bubble sheets. The should have no problem voting.
October 29th, 2008 at 5:18 pm
It took me 80 minutes to vote last week at the Jimmy Keel library.
I prefer early voting to voting on election day, especially when you know how you’re going to vote anyway.
October 29th, 2008 at 5:18 pm
I don’t know what you meant to convey in this post, but all I briefly give you my impression after reaing it: what a dick this Garcia is.
October 29th, 2008 at 5:34 pm
I thought I was the only person in FLA that liked the touch-screen voting system!
I was looking forward to trying out the new system but I saw the light and got an absentee ballot. Mailed it in today.
October 29th, 2008 at 5:34 pm
Rockabilly — you got exactly what I was trying to convey
October 29th, 2008 at 6:37 pm
You did a superlative job too. I’m in awe of a dick who accepts and even exults in his own innate dickness. I am reminded of Camus’ essay “Je suis un bout.”
October 29th, 2008 at 7:24 pm
Pasco, baby!
Waited about 3 minutes. Cast my ballot. Was not forced to sit at
Table 9
October 30th, 2008 at 8:36 am
I voted this morning(Thursday) at West Tampa Library. The process was cumbersome. I was in the 2nd group after the doors opened and it still took nearly 40 minutes from beginning to end. Like Mr. Lawton in today’s focus, I cast my ballot in opposition to the status quo, and voted for Nader. I’m all for change, and I don’t see either major party candidate changing much of what is truly wrong with our nation.
All too often I’ve heard folks lament, “I don’t like either one so I’ll just stay home.” If you don’t like either one vote for anyone else. I doubt we’ll ever see anything but an Elephant Ass in my lifetime in the oval office, but a voice in opposition might help wake up the yahoos that we’re tired of the way things are. And one day maybe, just maybe, we’ll be able to send their Asses Pachyng.
Captcha disclosure: whoa
October 30th, 2008 at 11:03 am
Wayne, keep up the good work,
“Rockabilly”, take your meds.
October 30th, 2008 at 12:32 pm
You know I love you, but you sound like you’re about to yell, “Damn kids get off my polling place!”
You did NOT have two eight year olds quizzing you about consitutional law and f*cking up the ballot because they want to “help.”
So as far as I’m concerned, you got off easy old man.
And you did it! So I’m proud of you. Power to the people…
October 30th, 2008 at 12:48 pm
Took only 20 minutes downtown. 15 of that was waiting in line.
However, there is no doubt in my mind that we should be using touch screen voting with receipts.
October 30th, 2008 at 4:48 pm
Paper ballot haters are missing the point: Your County Clerks are not running a good election. Here in New Mexico I voted in 20 minutes on a paper ballot with 50 issues. Florida is famous for torturing the voter to limit the number of voters. You need more polls, or computers in the polls to check the registration that have better speed and high bandwidth to check with the Count Clerk’s data base and verify each voter has registered.
Paper ballots give you power and DRE’s take your power to count ballots away! DAHHH…
The protest in favor of DRE’s is like supporting not having elections. Just have corporations appoint who they want to run our government, as they did in the bush administration-elections.
October 31st, 2008 at 2:14 pm
Man, Florida could fall out of a boat and miss the water… they’re doing early and mail voting here in Colorado, and it’s easy, no long lines, no worries. How on earth can Florida screw up EVERYTHING?
November 2nd, 2008 at 11:44 am
Welcome to the new voting process: FCAT for everyone!