The Political Whore

And so we bring the week to a close in style, with a little game of “Bush or Batman?” Have a good weekend everyone.

• Obama wows them on the continent.
• McCain’s going to pick Romney for V.P., isn’t he?
• No end in sight: Foreclosures double from a year ago.
• Ford loses $8.7 billion last quarter.
• Firm charged with manipulating the oil market. But the oil execs said high prices were only caused by supply and demand?
• Qantas may never crash, but they can still come damn close.
• The Internet’s “critical flaw” exposed.
• The Mindfreak prepares for a little building-implosion prestidigitation on Clearwater Beach.

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McCain insists he was right when he said The Surge led to the Anbar Awakening, despite the fact that the Awakening happened in 2006 and The Surge happened in 2007.

• Poor John McCain, he just can’t catch a break. (This is possibly the most ridiculous story ever published by the Washington Post.)
• Obama gets double the airtime of McCain, and double the tough questions.
• “If somebody told me that I would save the people on the airplane by taking my pants off out in public out there, I wouldn’t mind doing it, but this was not necessary.”
• The director of the University of Pittsburgh Cancer Center warns his employees to limit their cell phone use to avoid tumors. Ah, what does he know?
• Jewelry stores and investment banking firms prepare for the rush of new customers as the U.S. minimum wage jumps to just $6.55 an hour.
• Headline of the week: “Motor racing chief wins ‘Nazi’ orgy lawsuit.”
• The Bucs on the verge of landing Brett Favre? Just what they need, another really old QB.
• The Bruce B. Downs “flyover” opens, traffic remains somewhat snarled.

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It’s not so much that Bush says Wall Street got drunk and now has a hangover that stings. It’s that he brought the alcohol to the party in the first place.

• Obama gets a little face-time with both sides of the Israeli-Palestinian conflict.
• McCain makes stuff up about The Surge, CBS just edits it out without comment.
• At least he’s honest about it: Robert Novak gets duped by the McCain campaign.
• Wall Street expected WaMu to report a serious loss, but no one had that number a $3.3 billion.
• Oh, come on, the Taser’s a harmless, humane way to subdue a criminal. Unless you shock the poor bastard until his heart explodes. Then, not so gentle.
• A flight carrying Ron Paul makes an emergency landing after losing cabin pressure, thereby negating the wealth of conspiracy theories that would have followed a crash.
• The new owners of the Lightning bought more than just a hockey team.
• Kevin Smith reviews The Dark Knight.

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Work got you down? The state of world keeping you up at night? Are stress and anxiety eating you alive? Have I got the solution for you:

• Obama touches down in Jordan.
• Wachovia crumbles.
• McCain blames Obama for high gas prices. Up next, the JFK assassination and sinking of The Maine.
• The not-so-sordid tale of the McCain NY Times op-ed. At least one reporter thinks the Times did McCain a favor.
• What should St. Pete do with the Pier? The city would like you input.
• Texas prepares for an impromptu production of Hello Dolly.
• Madonna crumbles. 
• iPods about to get a price cut?

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Obama’s weekend tour of Afghanistan (as shown in this AP video) seems to have gone well. And check that standing-o he gets from the troops.

• Iraq’s PM backs Obama’s withdrawal plan. The McCain camp pretends they are still relevant on the issue.
• Complete Bullshit: “Mullen: Timetable in Iraq ‘Dangerous’, Time Horizons Safe.”
• Where in the world is Barack Obama today?
• Ridiculous flying machines? Check. Humorous crash landings? Check. 100,000 spectators cooking in downtown Tampa swelter? Check!
• What Would Jesus Watch? Christian groups try to shut down Marriott’s in-room porn.
• This is why I don’t do triathlons.
• The Dark Knight slays ‘em at the box office.
• Facebook gets an update.

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Study hard kids. You’re about to get a lesson in why being a C student is far from acceptable. Have a good weekend, everyone.

• The case for and against Gov. Charlie as McCain’s V.P.
• Meanwhile, the Gov.’s hob-nobbin’ with Prince Charles as Florida languishes in financial crisis.
• Al Gore’s got a 10-year plan that has the conservatives bouncing off the walls.
• “McCain, R-Ariz., the top Republican on the Senate Armed Service Committee, has attended zero of his committee’s six hearings on Afghanistan over the last two years.”
• The LA Times picks apart McCain’s campaign schedule. Brace yourselves folks: He’s basically just out raising money.
• Shoddy work by American contractors in Iraq has lead to hundreds of electrical fires and more than a few deaths.
• Sticks of Fire is already campaigning for a Best of the Bay award. What’s your website doing?
• Hollywood preps the cash registers for a record weekend.

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The JibJab folks return with their latest hit, “Time For Some Campaignin’.”  It’s got a little something to piss off everyone, which means it’s damn funny. Enjoy.

• You know things are bad when oil prices plunge on fears that Americans won’t be able to afford gas anymore.
• State Farm Insurance plans massive 50%-90% rate hike on the homeowners insurance of Pinellas County residents.
• The three biggest myths about offshore oil drilling.
• There seems to be more to that Jesse Jackson “I’m gonna cut Barack’s nuts off” video. Maybe.
• Hollywood stunner: Andy Dick arrested on drug and sexual battery charges!
• Speaking of actors in cuffs, there may be cell phone video of Josh Brolin and Jeffery Wright getting arrested at the W wrap party. Early reports don’t sound too flattering for the cops.
• The Dark Knight is poised to cash in big time. CL critic Lance Goldenberg loved it, by the way.
• “I’m Brett Favre. You may remember me from Super Bowl XXXI.”

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Impressive video of the Ron Paul Revolution March in Washington D.C. on July 12. I’m wondering about that chant, though. “Ron Paul! Freedom! Ron Paul! Freedom!” Is this supposed to mean something?

• Choice quotes from the presidential candidates yesterday (I’ll let you figure out who’s who):

“This war diminishes our security, our standing in the world, our military, our economy, and the resources that we need to confront the challenges of the 21st century. By any measure, our single-minded and open-ended focus on Iraq is not a sound strategy for keeping America safe.”

“With the right strategy and the right forces, we can succeed in both Iraq and Afghanistan. I know how to win wars. And if I’m elected President, I will turn around the war in Afghanistan, just as we have turned around the war in Iraq, with a comprehensive strategy for victory.”

• CBS runs a Romney as McCain V.P.?  story and Drudge links it and gives it top placement. Does that mean the fix in for Mitt?
• Obama and the racial divide.
• While NASA preps the Ares rocket to carry astronauts back to the moon, some of the engineers have been busy designing a cheaper, better alternative that the higher-ups won’t consider.
• Hillsborough students lose their phone privileges.
• Tampa’s cops might want to consider moving a bit close to the precinct.
• The all-star game that would not die.
• You might want to hold off on that HDTV purchase: Prices are set to decline by up to $400.
• I’ll take two boxes of the ACME Dehydrated Boulders, please.

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John McCain gets a little assist from the good folks at Video Professor. I wonder if he used any of his wife’s windfall profits from the Anheuser-Bush sale to pay the shipping and handling charges?

• IndyMac customers party like it’s the Great Depression.
• Caliente Resort proves too hot for the American Association for Nude Recreation.
• The government’s terrorist watch list adds its one-millionth name.
• Starbucks announces its first 50 store closings. No Florida stores are on the list — yet.
• I know it’s called the “Home Run Derby,” but that was ridiculous, John Josh Hamilton.
• $10 million for the first Pitt-Jolie baby pictures? How much does that make the kid worth?
• Apple sells one million iPhone 3Gs in 72 hours.
• Splitsville: Jimmy Kimmel and Sarah Silverman.

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