Author Archive

The Short List — Mon., June 23

R.I.P. George Carlin. The brilliant, subversive, hilarious, precedent-setting comedian was 71. In his honor, here is one of Carlin’s all-time classics: Baseball & Football.

Come on up for The Uprising

One-time CL staff member and current freelance contributor Dawn Morgan is sharing her journalistic talents with other news organizations around town. Just today, Dawn interviewed journalist/political organizer David Sirota about his new book The Uprising, a chronicle of the “burgeoning backlash against the Establishment, government, and media’s unrealistic representation of the people.” The interview is set to run on tonight’s WMNF evening news, but you can get a sneak peak here. Or, tune in to WMNF tonight between 6-7 p.m. on your final hellish commute of the week.

If that doesn’t work for you, hit up the WMNF website in a few days for an archived clip.

The Short List — Fri., June 20

I searched YouTube for an hour last night looking for something — anything! — worth sharing with the Short List faithful. I finally did a search for “first day of summer” (which is tomorrow, by the way) and found this:

The Short List — Thurs., June 19

Michelle Obama charms the ladies of The View. Warning: This video is pretty long. If you hate The View, don’t bother.

The Short List — Wed., June 18

Ever wonder how to make a viral video? The process has been boiled down to these nine easy yet mostly duplicitous steps.

More than 115,000 former felons who completed their sentences have had their civil rights restored since a new state rule went into effect 14 months ago, Gov. Charlie Crist said.

The rule by the Board of Executive Clemency, which Crist chairs, restored rights almost automatically, ending a policy of requiring the panel to act individually on every restoration of rights request. The rights include voting and the ability to get state and local licenses for certain types of jobs.

“Once somebody has truly paid their debt to society, we should recognize it,” Crist said Tuesday. “We should welcome them back into society and give them that second chance. Who doesn’t deserve a second chance?”

The 115,000 former felons Crist cited account for more than half of all former felons in the state who have had their rights restored during the last 14 years, according to the governor.

The governor made the announcement at a two-day summit of state officials, lawmakers, community activists, prison ministers and others to brainstorm ideas for keeping former inmates from returning to crime after their release.

* – I had originally put periods after the A & P in AP. Fortunately, AP’s #1 fan sent me an e-mail informing me of my mistake. Thank’s #1.

The Short List — Tues., June 17

Today is Firefox 3 release day. If you’re still using Internet Explorer, we really have to talk.

The Short List — Mon., June 16

I usually don’t pimp golf, but Tiger Woods put on a show this weekend at the U.S. Open. His bum knee a constant distraction, Tiger made a dramatic birdie putt on the final hole to force an 18-hole playoff with Rocco Mediate.

R.I.P. Tim Russert

 

Shocking news from the New York Post, which is reporting that NBC News icon and Meet The Press host Tim Russert died today of an apparent heart attack.

We’ll have more on this as we digest the news.

(Photo Credit: Hyku

The Short List — Fri., June 13

In Honor of Fathers Day, I present this short film that I did not make but found on YouTube.

A real Piece of work

Who on earth would have the audacity to publish a memoir titled A Bold Fresh Piece of Humanity? Why, it’s none other than Bill O’Reilly, whose tome will land in bookstores on September 23. Ironic, I know, since all things Bill-O seem anathema to literacy.

In retrospect, you should have guessed, right? Only the dean of Fox News blowhards could lack self-awareness at the level necessary to slap that title on a book jacket. A Bold Fresh Piece of Humanity is a title far beyond even Hannity’s usual self-absorption.

Is there a more egotistical title possible? Some alternate possibilities:

Read the rest of this entry »

The Short List. Thurs., June 12

McCain’s been taking flack from the left for saying that it’s “not too important” when we get the troops out of Iraq. The McCain folks say that’s taking it out of context. See for yourself:

The Short List — Wed., June 11

Planning to vote Republican? Watch this video and then share your ideas for our nation in the comments section.

The Short List — Tues., June 10

This just in from the Creative Loafing food safety division: Attack of the killer tomatoes!!!

Side question: What do you think of the new, lean PoHo logo? Sound off in comments.

The Short List — Mon., June 9

In case you missed it over the weekend …

Clinton endorses Obama.

The Short List — Thurs., June 5

In case you always wondered what a boulder made of legos would look like rolling down a hill …

It’s a boulder made of legos rolling down a hill.

The Short List — Wed., June 4

And so we reach the end of what will surely be the wildest primary contest of my lifetime.

Thank God Wolf Blitzer is there to make sense of it all.

It’s Over!

The AP just called the democratic primary for Barack Obama.

After over a year of the daily campaign, I have to admit that I have a hard time believing it’s really done. Or, to put it another way, I still expect that at any moment Hillary’s decomposing hand will burst forth from below the ground of her shallow grave, grab a startled Obama and drag him down into the abyss.

But I guess that’s not going to happen. It really is over.

Knowing this, I’ll still tune in to the cable news nets tonight, if only because I’m an idiot and because I like to watch Olbermann and Matthews share uncomfortable silences. Plus, if I don’t watch, I’ll miss Terry Mcauliffe somehow pull off congratulating Obama while still calling his mother a whore.

How about you? Sticking around for the victory speeches or shall I just call you when the general election heats up?

(Photo Credit: Allison Harger)

The Short List — That’s So Embarrassing Edition

The Short List — Mon., June 2

Universal Studios Hollywood caught fire over the weekend, destroying priceless artifacts of film history …

There goes my dream of owning the sets from Back to the Future.

The Short List — Fri., May 30

Scientists have planted electrodes in the head of a monkey that allow it to control a robotic arm with its thoughts. Here’s the video:

Notice how they force the perspective so you can’t tell that the top of the monkey’s head is chopped off or that wires are streaming out of his exposed brain. Have a good weekend everyone.

*-As WP pointed out in the comments section, Alma is a Pacific hurricane, and the Pacific hurricane season started on May 15. I’m a dumb ass. Thanks WP.

Did I say $10 million? No I didn’t.

The Federal Election Commission is out with their April “contributions by date” report. As I’m sure you remember, the day after the Pennsylvania primary the Clinton camp claimed to have raised $10 million dollars in the wake of Hillary’s big win. So, how’d they really do?

April 22, 2008: $226,294.60
April 23, 2008: $1,738,154.61
April 24, 2008: $2,578,730.28

That’s a total of about $4.5 million, which leaves Clinton’s initial claims off by about $5.5 million (and that’s with an extra day). That seems like more than a math error; that seems like they were lying and they knew it.

That the Clintonites would lie isn’t much of a revelation these days. Sadly, the campaign did some other figuring that night, and decided that a lie today would be forgotten tomorrow. The calculation was that no one would care or remember by the time the FEC’s report was released at the end of May. Or if they did, it would be too late, anyway. After all, the voters are just a bunch of ignorant rubes who will believe whatever the Grande Dame tells them to.

Swallow it down Democratic primary voters. Choke on it. And like it, you miserable swine.

(Photo Credit: Professorai)

The Short List — Thurs., May 29

Lost finale tonight. Predictions in the comments section.

Someone call the fashion police?

I get daily e-mails from something called GOPUSA. Depending on your point of view, GOPUSA is a collection of morons on the lunatic fringe or a brave group of conservatives keeping the liberal media in check. GOPUSA’s mantra is “Bringing the conservative message to America,” which leaves me wondering where they’re importing it from. (I’ve got my cash on outer space.) Today’s nutblast landed in my inbox with the headline, “Rachael Ray, Dunkin’ Donuts And The Keffiyeh Kerfuffle.”

I was intrigued. Was this an announcement for a new breakfast item? A word-association game? A spelling test?

Sadly, no. It seems that Ms. Ray has run afoul of conservatives, including Michelle Malkin, who filed today’s GOPUSA screed. Some quotes:

I’ve been a fan of Dunkin’ Donuts for years. Their Munchkins are heaven. Their coffee is better and cheaper than Starbucks. And the company’s management has taken a brave and lonely stand in support of immigration enforcement — refusing to hire illegal aliens and blowing the whistle on applicants with bogus Social Security numbers.

So it was with some dismay that I learned last week that Dunkin’ Donuts spokeswoman Rachael Ray, the ubiquitous TV hostess, posed for one of the company’s ads in what appeared to be a black-and-white keffiyeh.

Malkin wants you to know that she loves Dunkin Donuts, especially since they’re one of the few employers in the country willing to root out illegals and send them packing. This isn’t all about the donuts, however. This is about Rachel Ray and her choice to wear an “offensive” clothing item in an ad. That item: a “black-and-white keffiyeh.” A what?

Read the rest of this entry »

The Short List — Wed., May 28

Great moments in presidential speechifying.

The Short List — Tues., May 27

Weezer gets it.

How low can she go?

Guess who just brought up the June 1968 assassination of Bobby Kennedy as justification for staying in the Democratic primary race?

What’s next? Add your guesses in the comments section.

The Short List — Fri., May 23

Happy Memorial Day Weekend everyone!

The Short List — Thurs., May 22

The Empire Strikes Barack

Florida Poll Vaulting

Sen. Barack Obama’s appearance at the St. Pete Times Forum is over, but the battle for Florida’s 27 electoral votes is just getting underway. In a poll released Monday, Rassmussen has Sen. John McCain out in front of Obama 50%-40% in Florida. This 10-point lead is down from the 15-point advantage McCain enjoyed last month. Digging below the surface of the numbers reveals some other interesting tidbits:

  • Obama leads among voters earning less than $40,000 a year — the group he’s struggled with the most in his race with Hillary.
  • Obama is up 22 points among voters under 30. McCain leads among all other age groups.
  • The God-fearing still love the Republicans, as McCain maintains a lead among churchgoers.
  • McCain’s favorability rating is at 50%, Obama’s is at 48%. This represents a 12-point drop for McCain and a 6-point increase for Obama since April.
  • Almost 30% of Democrats tell the pollster they will vote for McCain in the fall.

On that last point, Markos at Daily Kos is chalking up Obama’s weakness to the ongoing battle with Clinton and the raw feelings of her supporters. If that’s the case, Obama simply has to win back Florida Dems (something that seems very likely to happen before the election, primary bad blood or no) and the Sunshine State is a dead heat. With McCain behind in fundraising and currently purging unhappy lobbyists from his campaign staff at an alarming rate, a 10-point lead may not be very good news after all.

But don’t get too cocky yet, Obamaheads. Rasmussen still puts the likelihood of a McCain victory in Florida at 75%.

The Short List — Wed., May 21

A lion in winter.

(Photo Credit: Brian Finifter)

The Short List — Tues., May 20

You’re a grand old flag …

The Short List — Mon., May 19

A little dose of straight talk.

The Short List — Fri., May 16

Have a good, non-violent weekend.

The Short List — Thurs., May 15

Colbert buries O’Reilly.

The Short List — Mon., May 13

The Short List — Mon., May 12

Dave is so friendly.

The Short List — Fri., May 9

What will you do with your government stimulus check?

The Short List — Thurs., May 8

Couch potatoes unite!

The Short List — Wed., May 7

Russert called it, so you know it must be over.

The Short List — Tues., May 6

See you at Radiohead tonight?

The Short List — Mon., May 5

Barack bounces back …

(Photo of Obama at UNC by Runder.)

The Short List — Fri., May 2

Our new hero. Have a good weekend everyone.

The Short List — Thurs., May 1

The Short List — Wed., April 30

Dude, you gotta read your deed restrictions.

The Short List — Tues., April 29

The Short List — Mon., April 28

He shoots, he scores?

The Short List — Fri., April 25

Have a good weekend everyone. Be safe.

The Short List —Thurs., April 24

Anybody got a quarter I can borrow?

The Short List — Wed., April 23

Hillary wins it!

The Short List — Tues., April 22

Prediction: Hillary by 8.*

* – Prediction arrived at by determining what Clinton margin of victory would be the most inconclusive. 8 points is short of the blowout Team Hillary needs, but it’s not close enough for Obama to declare victory.

The Short List — Fri., April 18

The great unraveling.

IN OTHER NEWS:

(Photo Credit: Franco Folini)

UPDATE: WP has posted a link in the comments section to a story about the Florida Legislature proposing a bill to ban “bumper nuts.” Good lookin’ out, WP!

The Short List — Thurs., April 17

I’m ashamed to be an American today.

IN OTHER NEWS:

(Photo Credit: Daquella Manera)

An open letter to the Democratic voters of Pennsylvania

Dear Penn-heads,

You have a lovely state there in the northeast. I’ve traveled through it many times and, aside from the large swatches of territory completely destroyed by 20th-century industry (Hello Pittsburgh!), the natural beauty Pennsylvaniaites gaze upon daily is inspiring. Plus, the preservation of a hole Ben Franklin used as a toilet when he lived in Philadelphia shows you have great reverence for history and the nation in which we live.

Tonight, Philadelphia plays host to another shit-filled bottomless pit when the Democratic presidential primary debate between Sen. Barack Obama of Illinois and Sen. Hillary Clinton of Illinois Arkansas New York Scranton comes to town. This will be the 21st such meeting of the candidates. What you guys hope to glean about these two that you did not pick up on in the previous 20 debates is a mystery to me, but I admire your thoroughness.

Next Tuesday, you will take the knowledge acquired this evening to the polls and select the person you want to run against Republican John McCain in the fall. Like many votes, this one will be completely meaningless. Just to fill you in on what’s happened so far: Barack Obama has already won the nomination and no one wants to tell Hillary Clinton it’s over. He’s won twice as many states, building an insurmountable lead in both the popular vote and the pledged delegates in the process. So, the charade continues and the fine people of Pennsylvania are subjected to wall-to-wall campaign advertising, news reports and talking head rants.

You, great voter of Pennsylvania, have a rare and historic opportunity. You can end this soul-eating Bataan Death March of a primary season by rejecting Hillary Clinton’s candidacy and granting Barack Obama a surprise victory in your state. This is your moment to shine PA! If you don’t step up and send Hillary back to the Senate, Indiana’s just going to do it in three weeks anyway. Why let those Hoosier assholes steal your glory? Do the right thing and end the primary season. The nation will be forever in your debt.

Thank you,
Joe Bardi

The Short List — Wed., April 16

Hell hath no fury …

The Short List — Fri., April 11

For those about to rock, we salute you!

(Photo Credit: Rob Ball)

The Short List — Thurs., April 10

Isn’t it inspiring when local luminaries attract national attention to Central Florida?

The Short List — Wed., April 9

Come on San Francisco, light my fire.

(Photo Credit: Donnay)

The Short List — Tues., April 8

Now that’s an Olympic torch relay.

The Short List — Fri., April 4

Hey, who let the old guys on YouTube?

The Short List — Thurs., April 3

Yesterday’s viral video today …

The Short List — Tues., April 1

CLINTON DROPS OUT!!!!

(Photo Credit: Joe Crimmings Photography)

The Short List — Fri., March 28

Flashback Friday.

The Short List — Thurs., March 27

Still alive.

(Photo Credit: Steve Rhodes)

The Short List — Tues., March 25

oops.

The Short List — Thurs., March 20

Happy “Gangsta Thursday.”

The Short List — Wed., March 19

Greatest last five seconds to a crappy cell phone video ever!

The Short List — Tues., March 18

“Clean up on aisle 1234-5678-9101-1121.”

(Photo credit: Porkfork6. Porkfork is a St. Pete resident who has taken some great pictures of Weedon Island and Roser Park. Check out his Flickr page.)

The Short List — Mon., March 17

No end in sight.

(Photo Credit: debaird)

The Short List — Fri., March 14

A member of the bomb squad outside St. Pete's branch of the church of Scientology.

St. Pete’s Scientologists have a request for a restraining order against street protesters “Anonymous” denied by a Pinellas judge, and almost immediately the bomb squad is called in to investigate a suspicious package (which turns out to be nothing). Coincidence?

(Photo of a bomb squad member in downtown St. Pete yesterday, by Loaf Account Executive James Ostrand)

The Short List — Thurs., March 13

Let us all now gawk at the woman Spitzer paid for sex.

The Short List — Late Edition

“Mr. Sinbad! Mr. Sinbad! Do you have any comment about your trip to Kosovo with Hillary Clinton?

The Short List — Tues., March 11

Down goes Spitzer!

The Short List — Mon., March 10

Not only does “spring ahead” suck, it might be bad for your health, too.

(Photo Credit: Bimsboy)

The Short List — Thurs., March 6

Get comfy. We’re going to be here a while.

(Photo Credit: Westendraider)

The Short List — Wed., March 5

Still alive!

(Photo Credit: Joe Crimmings Photography)

UPDATE: Here’s a few more I missed the first go-round:

The Short List — Tues., March 4

                                                                                Please God, let it end today.

(Photo Credit: Jeremy Ryan)                                                                                                                                                            

I’m Jack Nicholson and I approved this message.

I don’t know if I want The Joker leading off my endorsement list, but I guess Hillary will take any endorsement she can get right about now.

The Short List — Mon., March 3

                                                                               Who’s hungry?

(Photo Credit: qthrul)

The Short List — Fri., Feb. 29

USF Hires a new assistant football coach, while an ex-UF linebacker has a bad day.

(Photo Credit: Sylvar)

The Short List — Thurs., Feb 28.

“Without telecom immunity, how will the government know what you are telling your grandma over the videophone?”

The Short List — Tues., Feb. 26

Tonight on MSNBC: Clinton. Obama. The rumble in the rust belt.

(Photo Credit: Mike Licht, notionsCapital.com)

The Short List — Thurs., Feb. 21

“Can we not talk about this in front of the wife?”

In other news:

(Photo credit: Photo-Mojo)

The Short List — Wed., Feb. 20

Frontrunner.

(Photo Credit: SEIU International)

The Short List — Tues., Feb. 19

“And if you get in my way, I will destroy you!

(Photo Credit: Nrbelex)

The Short List — Fri., Feb. 15

Watch out for falling debris.*

*Satellite depicted is not the one being blown out of the sky by the Pentagon. Photo credit: PRNewsFoto/Space Systems/Loral.

The Short List — Valentine’s Day Edition

The Short List — Wed., Feb. 13

“You stay away from me!”