Now they have — in George: The Poor Little Rich Boy Who Built The Yankee Empire, the laugh-out-loud biography by St. Petersburg author Peter Golenbock.

Golenbock’s prior written collaborations with Yankee greats Billy Martin, Graig Nettles and Sparky Lyle provide him unique historical background on Steinbrenner and the 36-year-long Yankee soap opera. In fact, Lyle has been quoted as saying that his intense dislike for Steinbrenner was the “inspiration” for his collaboration with Golenbock on the 1979 bestselling book The Bronx Zoo.

Without George Steinbrenner there would be no A-Rod, no Jeter, and Vinny LeCavalier would be working in the off-season painting houses to make ends meet. But was he a brilliant tactician who carefully plotted his ascent in pro sports?  Hardly. But he was a good showman, and it is this quality — combined with an inability to envision failure and a penchant for suspending rules and reality — that Golenbock says was the real reason he was able to build the most valuable sports franchise in the world, becoming a cultural icon in the process (not to mention a running joke on Seinfeld).

From Golenbock's book: Steinbrenner vs. Costanza in an episode of "Seinfeld."

Steinbrenner’s middle name is Michael, but Machiavelli might have been more appropriate. Among the revelations in the book: he once sold stock owned by his wife without her knowledge to keep his minor league basketball team afloat. At the time Joan Steinbrenner had begun divorce proceedings against George. The divorce filing was later rescinded and they remain married today.

That’s not to say that Steinbrenner doesn’t have a good heart when it comes to those less fortunate. Stories abound in the last chapter of the book about the softer side of George, whether he’s paying for a poor kid’s college tuition, helping the families of fallen police officers in Tampa and NYC, or rebuilding a ball field in a poor neighborhood.

But then again, he may be the only convicted (if later pardoned) felon to have a high school named in his honor. Golenbock recounts Steinbrenner’s participation in the Watergate scandal — the only time other than his two suspensions from baseball when the music finally stopped for George and there was no one left to clean up his mess. But even after pleading guilty to two felonies for funneling thousands of dollars to Nixon’s Committee to Re-elect the President — better known as CREEP — George didn’t serve a day in jail: Reagan pardoned him in 1989. Heck, a guy who jumps the turnstile at Yankee Stadium would receive a harsher punishment.

Some of the funniest stories in the book come from Steinbrenner’s days in Cleveland before he acquired the Yankees. It was no stroke of luck that young George avoided the cold and bullets of Korea and instead wound up running the sports program at an Ohio military base just miles from his family home. According to Golenbock, George’s special treatment was the direct result of a deal his father cut with the Air Force. But George being George almost killed the deal. He complained that the lights on the ball fields were substandard and attempted to get them replaced by the Army, but was told no money was available. So George went ahead and ordered the lights anyway while his base commander was away in Washington, telling the lighting company that he would pay for them if the Army didn’t. When the commander returned from his trip, he was surprised to find the base lit up like Runway 22R at JFK. Of course, Henry Steinbrenner came to his son’s rescue and the Air Force paid for the lights.

Peter Golenbock at Yankee Stadium.

Steinbrenner’s toughest critic in the book is cable executive Leo Hindery, who created the YES network for Steinbrenner. The YES Network, which telecasts Yankee games and programming, is valued at over $2 billion. It ensures that the Yankees will continue to be able to afford high-priced free agents for the foreseeable future. Hindrey lets George have it with both barrels, including telling Golenbock that Steinbrenner’s daughters are the brains of the family (but George will never allow women to run the team), and that the minority owners, who own 40 percent of the Yankees, haven’t made a nickel in 30 years due to Steinbrenner’s profligate spending on players and his family.

Many interesting personal tidbits come to light in this book.  Among them:
• Steinbrenner was raised a Christian Scientist.
• He made up a story that he played pro football for the NY Giants in an effort to land a college football coaching job after graduating from Williams.
• He didn’t really understand the rules of baseball when he first became the Yankee owner, as evidenced by his tirade against a scorekeeper who failed to award the Yankees a run on a play where the third out was made.
• He stormed the field during a Hillsborough Community College baseball game at the Yankees complex, threatening to stop the game because the Yankee groundskeeper had the HCC team play on the wrong field. (Yes, a greenskeeper was fired.)
• He announced that Yankees manager Dick Howser, who had won 103 games the prior season, was stepping down to take advantage of a lucrative real estate opportunity in Florida. Howser’s lucrative real estate opportunity turned out to be George paying off his home mortgage in exchange for his resignation.
• And Golenbock puts into print what most people have been whispering for the past five years — that Steinbrenner is suffering from Alzheimer’s disease.
This book confirms two things.
There is only one George Steinbrenner. And the world would be a lot less entertaining without him.

Scott Farrell hosts The Farrell Files on the 10Connects Morning News. He’s also a contributor to Wayne Garcia’s Creative Loafing blog, The Political Whore.

Scott Farrell is the host of The Scott Farrell Show weeknights from 9 – 11 pm on NewsTalk AM 820 WWBA.

Darwin has been vindicated by a former foe.

You intelligent designers or unintelligent designers – as the case may be – no longer have a friend in the Governor’s Mansion in Tallahassee. Charlie Crist proved again Monday that Darwin was correct 150 years ago when he put forth his theory of natural selection, or at least as it pertains to political evolution. Crist clearly has an innate sense of the political peacock with the most ornate poll numbers. That’s why the Governor couldn’t stop himself from jumping on his Flying Beagle and heading down to Fort Myers. As Fox News ran the clip of Gov. Crist introducing President Obama – the groans emanating from Men’s Grills in country clubs from Palma Ceia to Naples were palpable: “Say it ain’t so, Charlie.”

Charlie has ditched the Jebfords (think male Stepfords – identical bad jokes, argyle socks and oversized Rolexes) for the Lehigh Acres foreclosure crowd. But why? Because Crist’s political DNA knows if he doesn’t make this move his political future may end up deader than the future of Northwest Florida State College.

So did the Governor believe all the stuff he said as a state senator in the 1990’s? It is remembered by many Floridians as the Chain Gang Charlie Era. It’s not Charlie’s choice to make. He’s part of Darwin’s natural selection plan. And currently the political peacock with the best tail feathers is Barack Obama.

Scott Farrell is the host of The Scott Farrell Show weeknights from 9 – 11 pm on  NewsTalk AM 820 WWBA.
For the past few days we have been bombarded by reports in local print and tv media about the terrible conduct at this past Gasparilla Day Parade. Don’t believe the hype.

The latest numbers available estimate that 350,000 people attended the day parade on the afternoon of Feb. 7.  Local police agencies report that 141 arrests were made in connection with the parade. That’s not a lot when you consider more than one-quarter of a million people were jammed into the three-mile parade route. As to the the local residents who spent their past Saturday videotaping various examples of debauchery in their neighborhood – assuming they are not videotaping for their own prurient pursuits – their claims are valid.

The City of Tampa and the event organizer could easily limit much of the “perceived” bad behavior with a few changes to the parade.

The number of restrooms need to be increased by a factor of 10. It’s hard to find fault with parade goers who end up doing their business on the live oaks that populate the yards of Hyde Park. There just aren’t enough bathrooms available to accomodate the crowd.

Second, either the parade route needs to be extended or the corporate tent city need to be downsized. The massive expansion of corporate tents over the past ten years has reduced the amount of space available for the throngs of “regular” parade goers along the parade route. The result – people roaming the streets of Hyde Park.

These two simple changes to the parade should go a long way to improving the parade experience for parade visitors and residents, alike.  As for how to clean up this weekend’s upcoming Knight Parade in Ybor, I have no idea —  Your guess is as good as mine.