The Political Whore

You’re a grand old flag …

• Israeli newspaper claims Bush will bomb Iran before the end of his term.
• Clinton claims lead in popular vote, but only if you use Hillary Math.
• Obama leads Clinton 55-39 nationally among Dems in yesterday’s Gallup poll.
• Can someone please teach Bill Kristol how to do research before he helps mislead us into a costly and destructive war? Nevermind.
• Sore loser: Geraldine Ferraro.
• Red Sox pitcher Jon Lester goes from being treated for cancer to throwing a no-hitter in two short years.
• Yawn: Napster starts selling MP3s. That only took 8 years.
• Indy to shatter box office records?

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OBAMA IN OREGON: Barack Obama spoke to a crowd of 65,000 on Sunday in Portland; another 15,000 couldn’t get in. How well will he pack the St. Pete Times Forum Wednesday?
(photo by Ryan Harvey)

So, among the items in the shrunken section formerly known as ‘Metro’ in the St. Pete Times was this tidbit: “Obamania, or Obamaybe Not?” — in which the writer raises the specter that “snubbed Floridians” might “stay home and sulk” rather than attend the Obama event in Tampa on Wednesday. Really? Biggest political celebrity in years, who attracted 2,000 without hardly trying last time he was in town, and now arrives with nomination in reach? Who are these “snubbed Floridians,” anyway? As far as I can tell, they’re a projection conjured up in the minds of “snubbed” St. Pete Times political reporters who haven’t been paid sufficient homage by the Obama people, and so have been harping endlessly on his failure to campaign here — whereas I suspect most voters (except for the Clinton-or-else crowd) see that both Democratic candidates have been hobbled by an impossible situation aggravated by the FL legislature and the DNC, and will gladly turn up to see either.

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A little dose of straight talk.

• McCain to hit up the RNC for campaign cash.
• The “very, very, very old” candidate also hit SNL for one of the worst guest appearances ever.
• Obama draws 75K in Oregon.
• Clinton finds a new scapegoat: the media.
• This just in from Germany: Too much smiling can kill you!
• Olbermann vs. O’Reilly — the feud escalates.
• Time digs Crystal Skull.
• Is Sir Charles headed for skid row?

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Couch potatoes unite!

• The mother of the St. Pete courthouse gunman blames shootout on “antigovernment Web sites.”
• Clinton’s five big boo boos …
• … and her three options.
• Bush mucks with the FCC to help out his old buddy/election law-flouter John McCain.
• Toyota feels the sting of the U.S. economic slowdown.
• The high price of intelligence.
• The Olympic torch makes it to the protester-free summit of Mt. Everest.
• No GTA IV in India. Reason: a global shortage.

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The great unraveling.

• “Superdelegates Unswayed by Clinton Attacks.”
• Dean tells Supes, “make up your friggin’ minds now.”
• Superdelegate Robert Reich (Bill’s first Labor Secretary) goes all Judas and endorses Obama.
• Supes play down Pennsylvania.
• Supes “worn out” by tone and length of campaign.
• Obama responds to the debate, promises to “get tough” with McCain in the fall.
• Colbert gets Hillary and Barack (same night, different segments, both very funny).
• Bill Ayers speaks! Well, he blogs, anyway.

IN OTHER NEWS:

• A Whole lotta shakin’ goin’ on.
• Headline of the week: “The Pope Tackles the Sex Abuse Scandal.” Really? Did he roll around on the floor with it too?
• Teenagers rejoice! Scientists think they have a cure for acne.
• Why is a member of the House of Representatives from Alaska slipping in $10 million earmarks for road upgrades to I-75 in Florida after the bill had been voted on?
• Flowers on the moon: Closer to reality.
• Secret blueprints for the new World Trade Center found by a homeless man rooting through a NYC garbage can.
• Batter up: Last night’s Rockies-Padres game went 22 innings, the longest MLB game in 15 years.

(Photo Credit: Franco Folini)

UPDATE: WP has posted a link in the comments section to a story about the Florida Legislature proposing a bill to ban “bumper nuts.” Good lookin’ out, WP!

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Isn’t it inspiring when local luminaries attract national attention to Central Florida?

• From “It’s gonna be a blowout!” to “It’s a miracle we’re still in the lead,” The Clinton campaign begins manipulating expectations ahead of the Pennsylvania primary.
• Obama snubs the gay press first in Texas and now in Pennsylvania. Shocking! There are gay people in Texas.
• Long lines? At Tampa International?!!? Thank you American Airlines!
• Packing heat at the office? A-OK with the Florida Legislature.
• The sordid tale of Joe Lieberman’s crashing website.
• Scrambled eggs can kill!
• Gizmodo’s take on the future of high-speed internet: “We’re Totally Screwed.”
• Can anyone beat Tiger at Augusta?

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Get comfy. We’re going to be here a while.

• A “minor explosion” rocked a military recruiting station in Times Square this morning.
• The Clinton campaign plots their next move and take time out to fight like cats and dogs amongst themselves.
• What’s wrong with this New York Times headline: “Clinton Success Alters Delegate Race’s Dynamic”?
• Obama’s next move? Attack? Chase the super delegates? Cry a bit?
• Will Florida try and call “do over?”
• Ron Paul wins it!
• If you’ve ever wondered what Helen Keller looked like, so did she.
• Don’t let grandpa drive the fire truck.
• Big Cable vs. NFL Network.

(Photo Credit: Westendraider)

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                                                                                Please God, let it end today.

• Texas and Ohio finally vote! Who will win? What does “win” even mean? If we can’t figure out how to define “win,” can it ever end? 
•  Canada defends Obama. 
• Got a few days? Everything you ever wanted to know about John McCain’s economic plan.
• The truthiness behind the “Colbert bump.” (Oh, it’s real.)
• Dear Wikipedia founder Jimmy Wales: “I only have one thing to say to you: You are the sleazebag I always suspected you were, and I should have listened more carefully to my gut instincts …“
• The new Girl gang-banger memoir Love and Consequences is a fake. The fun part: No one figured it out till the author’s sister saw her picture in the NY Times. 
• Elisabeth Hasselbeck gives her View: Gloria Steinem = evil.
• Amy Winehouse and her expanding face.

(Photo Credit: Jeremy Ryan)                                                                                                                                                            

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                                                                               Who’s hungry?

• Obama goes for a “knockout blow.” Clinton lays the groundwork for fighting on after Tuesday. The polls remain inconclusive.
• Gov. Charlie says he’d “support” a democratic primary re-vote, and by “support” he means “pick up the tab for.”
• Dynasties among us: NY Times sports mag Play gets all Greek-tragic about the Steinbrenners of Tampa and visits the would-be Venus and Serena Williams of golf in Bradenton.
• Going to war: Venezuela and Columbia.
• Hillsborough County Fire Chief Bill Nesmith gets hot under the collar, ends up booked for aggravated assault after threatening to kill his wife then himself. (Brian Blair always thought he seemed perfectly nice at church, though.)
• Mick Jagger = assassination worthy.
• Damn it, Rover! Drop that chew toy.
• Gasparilla filmfest gets something new: audiences.

(Photo Credit: qthrul)