By Chris Ingram
PoHo contributor

My prediction has now come true. Mel Martinez is resigning his senate seat. Give it a couple of days, and I expect you’ll be reading about our oh-so-tanned governor announcing he is appointing himself to Martinez’s seat because (sorry to John Morgan), he’s “for the people.”

Yes, this is legal.

For the record, our spineless governor has stated he won’t appoint himself. This is the same guy who said he wasn’t going to run for the senate, said he wasn’t interested in being McCain’s running mate, and said he was going to make our taxes “drop like a rock.” You get the picture? His word is no good.

While certainly a political backlash will occur if Mr. For the People appoints himself, it will be brief. A couple of weeks of criticism, slams from the editorial pages, and letters to the editor from people outraged at the selfish opportunism (not that anyone should be surprised at Chuckles’ political opportunism) and that will be it.

Voters have a short attention span, and an even shorter memory. Barring Marco Rubio winning the Power Ball lottery and self-financing his campaign with his new-found millions, he won’t be able to run enough TV ads before next September’s Primary Election to remind voters about Mel and Charlie’s end-around to get Chuckie to the U.S. Senate.

In short, there is very little downside to the Chuckster taking advantage of the opportunity his pal Mel has handed him. Politics 101 dictates being an incumbent rocks when it comes to getting reelected. I’ll bet a case of Starkist Tuna Charlie realizes this and appoints himself.

I expect Too-tan Charlie will argue that in these serious times we need someone who will be the “people’s senator.” He’ll point out that it is in Florida’s interest for him to be senator before the election because he will have a leg up on the seniority ladder compared to the other freshmen senators elected in November.  He’ll get others from the establishment wing of the GOP to help him make his case that “better committee assignments will improve the lives of the people of Florida,” and “Florida needs Charlie Crist in the U.S. Senate.” Blah, blah, blah…

The voters may smell a rat, but the real question is will they bring rat poison to the ballot box? Call me a cynic, but I doubt it.

On a related note, someone ought to look into when “Smel” Martinez becomes eligible for the very generous federal retirement benefits graced upon our esteemed former members of Congress. I think we’ll find it is strikingly close to his resignation date.

But regardless of Mel’s pension benefits, it looks more and more likely Charlie Crist will fulfill his life-long dream of being a U.S. Senator. So we’ll be saying “Senator Crist” real soon — instead of “Sorry Charlie” if the people had gotten their chance to have a truly fair opportunity to make the choice themselves.

I’m ready to burn my voter ID card because if what I suspects will happen happens, the casting of a vote in this race will be nothing short of a sham.

At least now maybe Marco Rubio will see fit to drop his longshot candidacy against Chuckles and will take on Bill “Howdy Doody” McCollum for governor. He ought to consider it because the fat lady just walked on the stage.

Now if I’m wrong about all this and Charlie appoints someone else as a “care-taker” senator who might it be? Admiral LeRoy Collins who ran against Katherine Harris in the GOP U.S. Senate Primary in 2006 would be a great call. Collins is intelligent, thoughtful, capable, and competent. I worked on Collins’ longshot campaign and I can say he is one of the greatest public servants I have ever known. And Charlie knows this. Admiral Collins is the governor’s appointed director of the state’s Department of Veterans Affairs.

I’d be happy to eat some crow, and what they heck, I’d even eat a case of tuna if I’m wrong should Charlie do the right thing and appoint LeRoy Collins. But I don’t think it will happen and either way, Charlie will still remain sorry.

Chris Ingram is the president and founder of 411 Communications a corporate and political communications firm, and publisher of www.IrreverentView.com. Ingram is a frequent pundit on Fox News and CNN, and has written opinion columns for the Washington Times, UPI, Front Page Florida, and National Review online. E-mail him at: Chris@411Communications.net.

Hey, with all our other civic problems, transportation shortfalls, educational deficiencies comes this real news:

We Floridians are sick and tired of these motherfucking snakes in this motherfucking state!

Burmese pythons have overrun the Everglades and are being openly hunted. Now, the state is considering banning them as pets after a pet snake killed a 2-year-old recently.

From the Tallahassee Democrat:

State environmental officials told Gov. Charlie Crist on Wednesday they are considering a ban on Burmese pythons, the mammoth snakes threatening Everglades restoration.

Col. Julie Jones, law-enforcement chief of the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission, said the agency is strongly enforcing rules to keep track of pet pythons. In addition to a $100 annual fee, the “reptiles of concern” are having microchips implanted so that, if they are illegally released or escape, owners can be tracked down.

An 81/2-foot pet python escaped its tank and killed a 2-year-old girl at her Central Florida home on July 1. U.S. Sen. Bill Nelson has called for a federal ban on importing the snake, which can grow to 26 feet and 200 pounds.

The FWCC is running a “reptiles of concern” roundup. So far, seven herpetologists have been issued permits to trap them and three more are being screened by the agency.

Cross-posted from the Daily Loaf blog.

Should a civic employee lose his/her job because they married an adult star?

That is the question behind the firing of Scott Janke, former town manager for Fort Myers Beach. The town council removed him from office with a vote of 5-0 after finding out that he is married to Jazella Moore.

Kiker acknowledged that Janke had violated no rules or laws and added that he had done a good job for the island town that had about 6,500 people, according to the 2000 Census. But the mayor was concerned whether Janke could remain effective and not distract the community from the business of the town along the state’s west coast.

Councilman Tom Babcock, responding to residents’ questions, said at a council meeting Wednesday that Janke was fired because his wife’s profession brought an inaccurate image to Fort Myers Beach, according to the News-Press of Fort Myers.

“When you become a public figure you are held to a different level of scrutiny and ethics,” Babcock said.

What baffles me is that Janke is said to have done a splendid job during his time with Fort Myers Beach, but was fired due to concerns of “whether Janke could remain effective and not distract the community from the business of the town along the state’s west coast.”

Janke has been married to his wife since October 2008. He has worked for Fort Myers Beach since March of 08. There is no timeframe given for when the Jankes met and began their courtship. During their time together, though, Mrs. Janke has kept a low profile about her career in the adult industry. Mr. Janke went about doing a good job as town manager. Life went on. Had Mrs. Janke been more “out” about her profession, I could understand the council’s concerns. Based on the mixed opinions being reported, I would go so far as to say that by firing Janke, the Fort Myers Beach council has done what they wanted to avoid: causing division and distracting people from the business of the town.

Another baffling aspect of this story comes from Mayor Larry Kiker who called the meeting that resulted in Janke’s dismissal. He compliments Janke’s performance, even goes so far as to call the couple “friends.” Yet, he still felt that Mrs. Janke’s job was a concern to Mr. Janke’s job performance. Talk about separation of business and personal!

“You’re fired. We still going surfing on Saturday?”

Agree? Disagree? Let’s hear your thoughts.

Associated Press: Fla. Town Fires Manager Married to Porn Star

Adult Industry News: Politician’s Porn Star Wife

Wink News: New details: Porn Star Gets Town Manager Husband Fired

By Lorna Bracewell
PoHo contributor

This just in from Securing Our Children’s Rights (SOCR), a Tampa-based lobbying group organized to secure, protect and preserve equal rights for children of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender parents in Florida:

Securing Our Children’s Rights, Inc. (SOCR), is pleased to announce HB 3 – Adoption, for the 2010 legislative session, introduced by Representative Mary Brandenburg, D-West Palm Beach, that is a full repeal of Florida’s ban on adoption by its gay and lesbian citizens. Senator Nan Rich has a companion bill in drafting at this date.

Governor Crist has declared Wednesday, July 22, 2009 as Explore Adoption Day and we must contact Governor Crist and the legislature to Explore Adoption by repealing the ban.

WHEN: Wednesday, July 22, 2009
WHO: Governor Charlie Crist (850) 488-7146 or email to Charlie.Crist@myflorida.com

House Speaker Larry Cretul 850-488-1450 or 352-873-6564 or email to Larry.Cretul@myfloridahouse.gov

Senate President Jeff Atwater 850-487-5100 or 561-625-5101 or email to atwater.jeff.web@flsenate.gov

Your Florida Representative – www.myfloridahouse.gov

Your Florida Senator – www.flsenate.gov

THE ASK:
Please ask the Governor to support the repeal of the adoption ban on gay Floridians and ask him to encourage the legislative leadership to pass the repeal.

Please ask the House Speaker and the Senate President to support the repeal and encourage Committee hearings for the bills.

Please ask your representative and senator to support the repeal, and to become a co-sponsor.

Here are your fun facts and talking points, courtesy of SOCR:

(1) Florida’s gay adoption ban was passed in 1977 at the height of Anita Bryant’s anti-gay “Save the Children” campaign. This law has done significant damage to children in foster care by not allowing the best interest of the child to be considered on a case-by-case basis. Curtis Peterson, the lead Senate sponsor, said upon passage of the ban, “We’re trying to send [homosexuals] a message. We’re really tired of you. We wish you’d go back into the closet.”

(2) Destructive impact on children – over 4,500 children languish in Florida’s foster care system today. The adoption ban arbitrarily excludes hundreds, if not thousands, of potential parents based solely on the irrelevant criteria of sexual orientation. These adults could provide stable, loving, PERMANENT homes to many of these children if this ban were lifted.

(3) In 2003, the Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute released a research study, stating, “reality on the ground is outstripping the pace of the debate. That is, a growing number of lesbians and gay men are becoming parents and are living as families every day, irrespective of what the policymakers do or say.”

(4) There is no credible scientific evidence that the sexual orientation of parents has any effects either on the quality of parenting or on the well-being of their children. In fact, the reliable social scientific evidence indicates that lesbian and gay parents are as fit, effective and successful at parenting as their heterosexual counterparts. (See American Academy of Pediatrics February 2002 Policy Statement, Vol. 109, No. 2, pp. 341-344)

(5) At least eleven (11) mainstream child welfare, social science, and professional organizations have issued policy statements SUPPORTING adoption by lesbian, gay, bisexual and/or transgender (LGBT) people:

Child Welfare League of America
American Bar Association
American Medical Association
American Academy of Pediatrics
American Psychiatric Association
American Psychoanalytical Association
American Academy of Family Physicians
American Psychological Association
American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry
National Association of Social Workers
North American Council on adoptable Children

(6) Decades of research indicate that optimal development for children is based not on the sexual orientation of the parents, but on stable attachments to committed and nurturing adults. Children with two parents, regardless of the parents’ sexual orientation, do better than children with only one parent. (American Psychiatric Association 11/2002 policy statement)

(7) Adoption decisions should be based on an individualized assessment of what is in the best interests of the child to be adopted. Applicants should be assessed on the basis of their ability to successfully parent a child in need of family membership and not on irrelevant considerations such as sexual orientation.

(8) Regardless of what policy makers do or say, gay Floridians are raising children and legal protection is necessary for these children. Families have been created by adopting in other states, artificial insemination, previous heterosexual relationships and family tragedies such as the death of a sibling.

(Full Disclosure: Lorna Bracewell is a human rights activist and founder of ImpACT, a gay-rights advocacy group and social network.)

Reading through the latest report from the Florida Center for Fiscal and Economic Policy I felt the words of Jeffrey Lebowski (”The Dude”) come to mind: “That’s a bummer, man.”

I have never seen Florida’s economy and shortcomings so well explained and so depressing and dire. Here are the report’s conclusion:

Key indicators of the health of Florida’s economy point to a state in trouble.

Of particular concern for the future will be the need to direct spending to the most important priorities of the state, such as investments in education that will strengthen the capacity of Florida residents to prosper in a different kind of economy, with the goal of producing higher-paid jobs. The traditional drivers of economic growth in Florida have weakened and in some cases there is no prospect for change in the near future. Population growth is not expected to match the historic post-World War II rate, providing less demand for new homes and other construction – demand that spurs economic activity. The huge supply of existing houses for sale will further depress construction and economic activity which, in turn, will dampen tax revenue collected by the state. As the recession wanes, tourism spending will begin to recover, and so will jobs in that sector of the economy. But most of those are of the low-wage service variety — not the kind of higher-wage occupations around which to build a vibrant economy.

Creating an economy with better jobs in the future will be made more difficult against the backdrop of state funding in many areas that has long been inadequate and now is being further cut as a national recession drives down the tax revenues needed to pay for government services.

Still not at panic attack stage yet? Try these bullet points:

Much of Florida’s economic well-being over the past few decades was tied to growth in population. The state’s population is now stagnant, however, and the proportion of children and youth – Florida’s future work force – is declining.

Florida’s rate of growth in income per person has fallen to 45th in the country.

The percentage of residents of Florida living in poverty has increased. About 180,000 more Floridians were living in poverty in 2007 than 2006. More than one out of every 10 people living in Florida receives food stamps.

The gap between the wealthiest and the poorest in Florida is widening and the gap between the richest fifth of Floridians and the middle fifth is even more dramatic.

The rate of growth in Florida’s gross state product – the value of goods and services we produce – has slowed over the past three years to where it ranks 47th in the nation.

Florida’s unemployment rate is one of the highest in the country and exceeds 10%.

Foreclosures in Florida quadrupled over the last three years.

Almost half of the state’s jobs are compensated at less than 150% of the federal poverty level, indicating the difficulty workers face in supporting themselves and their families.

Per capita state government spending in Florida is less than the national average and ranks 44th in the country.

Florida spends a smaller share of its budget on elementary and secondary education and higher education than most states, and spends a greater share on corrections than all but two.

The results of state spending are substandard, according to various measures:

1. Florida’s high school graduation rate is 45th in the country.

2. Florida’s health system is ranked 45th nationally.

3. Tens of thousands of Florida’s elderly and disabled are on waitlists for services and generally wait years to gain access to programs they need.

4. Waitlists for people with mental health and substance abuse needs are also prevalent and lengthy; 190,000 adults needing mental health services are not receiving them and 265,000 children with emotional and developmental needs are not receiving services they need.

Here is the entire report, in .pdf format. 022_final-well-being-report

By Lorna Bracewell
PoHo contributor

On Saturday, June 27, thousands of people gathered in the streets of St. Petersburg, FL for the city’s annual Gay Pride parade and festival. While we were celebrating and honoring the legacy of the LGBT civil rights movement, our local NBC affiliate (WFLA-Ch. 8) was airing Speechless: Silencing the Christians, an hour long special paid for by the conservative American Family Association (AFA) that makes a series of specious and demeaning claims about gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people.

Watch a clip from the program after the jump.

Within hours of airing Speechless, WFLA was flooded with phone calls and emails from viewers who disagreed with and disapproved of the special’s anti-gay thesis. Equality Florida, a Tampa based statewide gay rights group, repeatedly petitioned the station and its parent company, Media General, to issue a public apology for airing the homophobic program, to divest themselves of the $35,000 paid to them by the AFA by donating it to an LGBT youth organization, and to devote an hour of air time to a special that balances out the hateful message of Speechless. So far, these petitions have gone unanswered except for a comment from Media General’s top Florida exec, John Schueler, who told Equality Florida that he could see why “people who have chosen the homosexual lifestyle might be offended” by the program’s “strident tone” but that the program “didn’t raise any red flags” for him or his associates.

Didn’t raise any red flags? According to Speechless, homosexuals (who, for PR reasons, started calling themselves “gays” in the 1990’s) are a danger to children and an existential threat to the family; they are the masterminds of an elaborate conspiracy to eradicate Christian influence and Christians themselves from our culture; they are simultaneously a cause and a symptom of cultural, spiritual and national decline. How could such apocalyptic rhetoric, such demonization of a segment of society not raise any red flags?

Imagine if Speechless targeted a racial minority instead of LGBT people. Imagine if the voiceover at the beginning of the program went something like this: “Family values, freedom of speech, freedom of religion and morality are all threatened by a radical Asian American activist agenda that’s redefining the family, teaching children that Asian Americans are normal and pushing for minority status and preferential treatment for Asian Americans” (replace the words “Asian American” with “homosexual” and you have an actual line from Speechless). All the money in the world couldn’t get that special aired on WFLA.

Due to Media General’s flagrant disregard for fairness… oh, let me try that again eschewing the euphemisms for once. Due to Media General’s flagrant disregard for the equal citizenship and physical safety of LGBT people in Tampa Bay and everywhere, Equality Florida, Impact-Florida (Ed’s. note: of which Lorna is founder) and a number of other grassroots groups from the surrounding area are organizing a demonstration outside of Media General’s Tampa headquarters at 202 S Parker St., Tampa, on Wednesday at 5:30 pm.

WFLA and Media General have made it clear over the past two weeks that they do not speak the language of reason and civility. We have tried to engage their decision makers in innumerable other ways. Since these attempts have failed, we will be there this Wednesday (at the same time as Media General’s national president) to make our demands in the “strident tone” Media General seems to prefer. Since many of us “homosexuals” are Christians ourselves, we may even quote a scripture or two. Perhaps a little something from Jeremiah? “Woe to him who builds his house by unrighteousness and his chambers by injustice” (Jeremiah 22:13).

Either way, the shadowy 527 group Don’t Bank on Sink has released an Internet ad mocking CFO and governor candidate Alex Sink’s use of state airplanes.

Watch the entire ad and learn more about who’s behind the group after the jump.

According to the Palm Beach Post, the 527 political group has a frontman, former Alachua County Republican chairman Stafford Jones. The group has not disclosed its financing, and its address is a mail drop in a Publix Shopping Center in Gainesville.

Expect more of this as Sink likely will also be slimed about her time as a top-ranking Bank of America exec, of course long before the subprime crisis and economic meltdown but that won’t stop opponents from trying to link her to the incredibly bad feelings that people have about bankers today.

Jones’ group has a second version of the ad up as well, and here it is:

img_3397.jpg

By Manny Leto
PoHo contributor and editor, Cigar City Magazine

You may not have even known it was happening, but “Rapprochement With Cuba: Good For Tampa Bay, Good For Florida, Good For America,” a conference sponsored by the Alliance for Responsible Cuba Policy Foundation and held Saturday at the Italian Club in Ybor City, was, by its very existence, a milestone in repairing the tattered relationship between Tampa and Cuba.

About 150 guests, panelists, professors and local politicians filled the grand, neo-classical Italian Club, once the social, cultural and political epicenter of Tampa’s Italian community. Whether the speeches, panel discussions, and networking sessions will really accomplish much toward ending the 50-year-old U.S. embargo, no one is really sure. However, to get a sense of where the Cuba barometer is pointing, you could start with the venue itself.

In 1955, a young, verbose Fidel Castro arrived in Ybor City. This was no accident, no anomaly. In fact, it made perfect sense. Castro, in a bid to gain popular support for his uprising against CIA-backed dictator Fulgencio Batista, he followed — literally — in the footsteps of an earlier young, charismatic Cuban revolutionary, Jose Marti.

Marti was the ideological voice of the first Cuban Revolution; the one American school children call the Spanish American War. In the 1890s, after an earlier 10-year conflict between Spain and native Cubans, Jose Marti rose to the fore of a new effort to oust Spain from the island of Cuba. Like Castro, Marti was an intellectual, a writer, poet. He traveled extensively throughout Florida between 1891 and 1895, raising money for Cuban independence. He visited Tampa some 20 times, giving speeches to Tampa’s cigar workers and strategizing with the exiled leadership headquartered in West Tampa and New York City. Marti’s revolution began in 1895. Teddy Roosevelt and the U.S. Army showed up a couple years later, in 1898.

So, 60 years later in 1955, Castro was on a PR tour of sorts that would take him to New York City and the cover of Time magazine but first, he spent some time in Ybor City. His choice for a speaking venue: The Italian Club. He met with then-club president Phil LoCicero at La Tropicana, where the two reportedly talked for hours. Castro’s request to rent the Italian hall was denied, as was his request to speak at the Cuban Club. Castro eventually rented the AFL-CIO Union Hall on 7th Avenue and 13th Street, which is today home of the Marti-Maceo Social Club.

On Saturday, 54 years after Fidel Castro was denied use of the club and 114 years after Marti rallied Tampa’s cigar workers to action, nearly 200 people, Republicans, Democrats, entrepreneurs, cattle ranchers, and exiled Cubans, gathered in Ybor City to talk, once more, about Cuba.

Rain drove the only five protesters away, even though Al Fox, the event organizer, invited them to come in for coffee and doughnuts.

Fox, president of the Alliance for Responsible Cuba Policy, assembled an impressive lineup of experts including an adviser on Cuba policy for the Kennedy Administration, Dr. Wayne Smith; former head of the Democratic Party of Florida, Alfredo Duran; and, via conference call, U.S. Congressman Bill Delahunt, D-MA, who has sponsored a bill to lift restrictions on Americans traveling to Cuba. The bill has several co-sponsors including Jeff Flake, an Arizona Republican; Rosa Delauro, Jo-Ann Emerson, a Missouri Republican; Jerry Moran, a Kansas Republican; Ron Paul, a Texas Republican.

Locally, Tampa Congresswoman Kathy Castor, who was conspicuously absent on Saturday, has expressed her support for establishing direct flights between Tampa and Havana, to compete for business with Miami International Airport.

“Every time a flight leaves Miami for Havana, the airport collects roughly 50 dollars per passenger and other assorted baggage fees,” said local business owner Jason Busto, adding, “People who are opposed [to increased contact and trade with Cuba] are using a playbook from the 1980s.”

Business interests were in full force at Saturday’s meeting, eager to capitalize on reestablishing trade with the island.

“We’re exporting democracy and capitalism,” said Richard Waltzer, head of the Havana Group, a “facilitator” for companies looking to do business in Cuba, who says the two are linked. “We buy more products from China than any other nation. What’s the difference between China and Cuba?”

John Parke Wright, a cattleman who traces his Tampa roots back to Capt. James McKay and James Lykes, was also on hand. Donning a suit, cowboy boots and a wide-brimmed cowboy hat, Park Wright wants to see Tampa and Cuba’s cattle trade “back on the map.”

Indeed Tampa’s connections to Cuba extend beyond Castro’s 1955 visit, beyond cigars and Jose Marti. In the 1840s, Captain James McKay (He of McKay Bay) began shipping cattle to Cuba from Ballast Point in Tampa. The still-prominent Lykes family was, by 1906 firmly established in Havana, operating one of the largest cattle ranches on the island. They also operated the Lykes Steamship Company, which shipped cattle and other goods between Tampa, Havana, and New Orleans.

In the 1880s and 1890s, Henry Plant operated a steamship line, which traveled weekly between Tampa, Key West and Havana. Ironically, at the very center of Tampa’s city seal is the Olivette, a one of Plant’s steamships that traveled regularly to Cuba.

The connections are even deeper. When the Spanish sold Florida to the U.S. in 1824, they may have taken groups of Cuban fishermen with them back to Havana.

In the 1500s Spanish conquistadores “governed” and explored Tampa Bay via Havana.

Havana is our sister city, said City Councilwoman Linda Saul-Sena. “Economically, socially, culturally, we are kin.”

After my brief, stolen moment with Governor C. at the charity fashion show, my life returned to its usual mundane routine. I was a nobody. Why would C. even remember me?

So when I answered my cell phone after class Monday afternoon, I was astonished to find myself on the line with C.’s assistant. Apparently, the Governor had been impressed by me and wished to meet me under better circumstances, and would I be available Friday night? I would. I was instructed not to tell anyone the Governor and I would be meeting, nor was I told where the meeting would take place.

The week passed by me as I sat through my USF classes, unable to concentrate, my entire attention on C. What should I wear? Where would we meet? Was it a date? But the biggest question I had was, why me?

Finally at eight o’clock on Friday night, I stood on the stoop of my apartment building, in a black dress pilfered from my older and more fashionable sister Fate’s closet, and held my breath in anticipation.

Suddenly, a bright light illuminated the scene, accompanied by a loud noise and gusting wind. I didn’t know what to secure first, my hair or my skirt. So I halfheartedly tried to catch both while managing to hold neither, as a shiny, black helicopter descended in front of me.

C. stepped down, wearing a white shirt and a tailored navy blue suit, looking as dashing as when I had first laid eyes on him. “I hope you don’t mind I took the chopper. I wanted to be discrete.” He laughed a little as he took in the sight of a helicopter on my lawn. “But I guess that didn’t quite work out.”

As we lifted off, C. handed me a champagne flute. “Cheers. Here’s to an enjoyable evening.” I sipped my champagne as I glanced out the window and caught a view of my apartment complex getting smaller beneath me.

We landed. Descending the mini-staircase, I saw where C. had brought me. The distinctive glass roof of the Florida Aquarium arched in front of me. “I got them to open it. Just for us,” C. whispered, holding the door for me as we entered the vast, darkened building. We were alone, except for the sleeping stingrays.

C. and I began to talk, getting to know each other as we walked through the artificial recreation of a natural wetland, our footsteps echoing down the empty corridor.

“I don’t know, I guess I always liked it,” C. mused, “being a politician. It was always something I wanted to do.” A white egret ruffled its feathers and yawned as we passed. “Ever since I was a little boy. I saw my own father run for office. I helped him by waving signs by the side of the road, and I loved it. Every minute of it. I’d watch my dad and it kind of made me think, ‘I want to do that. I want to run for office.’

“And you know, when you’re a little boy, you see the show, but you don’t see the business. So I thought it just meant going around and talking to a lot of people, which looked like fun. I didn’t realize the hard work that went along with it. It’s silly, but I thought the job of politician was just someone who shook people’s hands and asked them to vote for you.

“But I learned more, I learned the law, and I realized it was something I loved on a deeper level. I just love people, you know? I want to see them treated fairly. And if I can govern them fairly, I think I’ve done my job.” C. spoke from the heart, so unlike the pandering of most professional politicians, telling people what they wanted to hear, devoid of any real meaning or feeling. I could tell that C. meant every word, that he wasn’t just trying to win my vote.

“Anyways, that’s my rambling little speech for the evening,” he said sheepishly. “I’m probably boring you. You don’t want to hear me talk business like that.”

“No, C. It’s interesting. I care.”

He stopped. “Really?” he asked sincerely as he looked at me. “You’re the first woman who’s ever said that to me.”

He gave me a little smile, as we continued walking the maze-like halls of the Florida Aquarium. I felt at ease with C., as if I could open up to him and tell him anything. I revealed so much to him about myself, more than I could have with anyone else. I found myself telling him things I wouldn’t even tell my best friend, despite having just met him. I felt safe, comfortable, as if I had known him my whole life.

My attraction to him grew with each step we took, walking deeper and deeper into the aquarium as the pathways grew darker and darker. Never in my life had I found myself so attracted to a man. His scent. His tan. His moderate politics. I was nineteen, and I had never been this close to a man before. A real man, in every sense of the word. It stirred something inside of me that had lain dormant for so many years, something I didn’t know I could be a polite girl and still feel. He could have conquered me, all of me, right then and there. But proof he was a gentleman, he didn’t.

Finally, we found ourselves in a cavernous empty room, illuminated only by the faint aqua glow of a giant fish tank in lieu of one wall. We stood in front of the glass, the light filtering through the tank dancing in blue-green ripples against the room and playing across our skin.

“The manatees were always my favorite animal.” He was whispering. “When I’d go fishing with my dad on Sundays in the Tampa Bay, we’d almost always see at least one or two.”

I could feel the governor’s eyes on me as I watched the silvery fish swim by. We stood so close together, yet without touching. My skin prickled with delight as I felt proximity of his body. I looked up at him.

“I know they’re not as lucky as dolphins, but they’d always seem to be guiding us, blessing us. And..” He trailed off as he looked into my eyes. “And…”

And he leaned in and kissed me. Gently. On my lips. Without warning, his tan lips pressing themselves against mine.

He pulled back, worriedly gauging my reaction. I smiled. He touched his hand to my cheek and kissed me again. I relaxed into it, as if kissing the 51-year-old governor of my home state was completely natural. He was incredibly good at it, and I found him to be very not gay.

”I can’t believe I’m making out with the governor!” I thought.

“Believe it,” C. said.

I was amazed that we were already so in tune with each other that he could read my thoughts, until I realized, embarrassingly, that I had been thinking out loud.

“I can’t believe it either,” C. said. “That I’m kissing someone as beautiful as you.” He looked at me and bit his lower lip. “Pretty good first date, huh?”

I nodded.

And we continued to kiss underneath the menagerie of silvery fish.

Stay tuned for the next chapter of the satirical romance novel, The Governor’s Mistress, by Heidi Lux. Missed the last installment? Read it here.

Artwork by Alex Doroin: escapetomars@hotmail.com

Hooray for Florida’s very own  Rep. Ileana Ros-Lehtinen! On Wednesday, along with a bipartisan coalition of 100 House members led by Rep. Barney Frank, she introduced a revised (read: trans inclusive) version of the Employment Non-Discrimination Act (ENDA). When passed, ENDA will extend existing Federal protections against employment discrimination to also protect gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people.

A version of ENDA that did not include protections for transgender people passed the house in 2007 but died in the Senate. In a recent interview with the Washington Blade, Frank was cautiously hopeful about the bill’s prospects in 2009: “Things have gotten better. The transgender community is lobbying hard.  I just need to remind people that when we have trouble doing something in New York, Maryland and Massachusetts, it doesn’t get easier when you have South Carolina, Utah and Nebraska.”