The Political Whore

We’re kicking off Thanksgiving week in style with SNL’s “turkeys on the run” skit from over the weekend. Enjoy.

• What’s wrong with paying more in taxes?
• Student arrested for farting in school.
• It’s time to start listening to Christmas songs in your car again.
• Secession talk.
• Obama finally looks at adding a Latino to his Cabinet — now that he’s given away all the top jobs.
• The incredibly ballooning stimulus package.
• Citibank looks to be the next member of the bailout club.
• Gas prices continue their long overdue plunge.
• Sometimes it sucks to be an astronaut.
• How many blogs does the world need?
• Hypocrisy alert: NBC axed the staff of The Weather Channel’s Forecast Earth environmental program during the network’s self-proclaimed “Green Week.”
• Twilight sets box office records. Good thing the sequel is already in the works.
• After a rough start, the Bucs roll over the Lions.

It is nice to see today’s kids are taking advantage of our right to protest.

Two girls in Salt Lake City are protesting rising gas prices after their mom was forced to cut cable TV from the family’s budget because they could no longer afford it. The girls are upset because they can’t watch their favorite cartoons.

This is the way things work in America these days. Despite the world seemingly beginning to fall apart at the seams, there is little real uproar here in the US.

It’s because we’re all at home watching TV. Sometimes it takes something like cartoon deprivation to get us to take a stand.

Once we have to forego more of our guilty pleasures and distractions, we will all be on the streets protesting, despite the fact that it likely won’t force the price of gas any lower. Never mind the real issues; just don’t take away our Comedy Central.

I can see the signs that would be carried by the picketers:

“Beer should be an everyday thing, but gas prices have eaten away at my beer money! Stop the madness!”

“My Explorer runs on oil but my big-screen HD TV doesn’t! I can’t afford either!”

“My children deserve a future filled with electronic gadgets and video games! How can we leave them that legacy?”

We have become disconnected because we are so contentedly preoccupied. We find it easy to ignore what’s going on as long as we have something to distract ourselves with. It will be interesting to see the reaction once gas prices double again and we are forced to choose between paying for what we need and what we just really want.

This just in from the Creative Loafing food safety division: Attack of the killer tomatoes!!!

• The $100 Million man.
• Trouble brews on the Chinese stock market.
• “Florida Governor Charlie Crist says the Democratic National Committee is cheating Florida delegates out of half of their votes at the national convention this summer.” Someone please inform the Gov that the Dems were just following the GOP’s lead.
• Decision day at the Supreme Court.
• “Terrorist Fist Jab” comment on Fox News a new low for the propaganda network.
• Apple debuts the iPhone 3G and iTunes App Store. Could it be the grim reaper for the GPS industry?
• Gay marriage = economic stimulus.
• The real “surge”: Gas prices crest $4 a gallon.

Side question: What do you think of the new, lean PoHo logo? Sound off in comments.

It’s time to stick it to the oil man. I don’t know about you, but I am getting alarmed, and going broke, over gas prices.

My small Civic is no longer as economical as it was just a few years ago. It still seems hard to imagine a car that gets around 30 miles per gallon (highway) could ever be considered a gas guzzler. However, with the price of gasoline rising rapidly, every time I look at my gas gauge my bank account dies a little more inside. Thirty miles per gallon (highway) just isn’t cutting it like it used to.

But could there be a better way? It seems there is an alternative.

Today is National Bike to Work Day. It’s too late for me to take advantage of this now, as I already (foolishly) drove into the office, but this could be a perfect solution to the rising price of the dino-juice.

If I would have known about this earlier, I could have saddled up the old Schwinn, put my coffee cup in the cup holder (note to self: get a cup holder for the Schwinn), thrown my backpack into the basket (note to self: saddle bags are way cooler), and lead by example.

I would be laughing at my one-day usurpation of big oil as I pedaled along the side of I-275 North on my 25-mile commute from St. Petersburg to Tampa. Of course I would be tempting death as I dodged the foolish, petroleum-dependent commuters flying by just inches away at 80 miles per hour. Biking 25 miles along a busy interstate could be, well, scary, since the Tampa Bay area is not always the most bike-friendly place.

Of course, once at the office I would need to take a shower and change clothes so as not to offend the staff. It is basically summer out there, after all, and the sweltering heat could certainly overpower Right Guard Sport gel. Since there is no shower here, I would have to settle for a bird-bath in the bathroom sink. Also, I would have to leave a little earlier to arrive on time. Like maybe two hours earlier to account for short breaks along the way. This means going to bed, and getting up, earlier. That’s not cool. . .

And the bike has no stereo or lumbar seating.

Actually, this biking-to-work idea may not be as practical for me as I wish it were. With some time to seriously consider it, a $3 to $4 commute (albeit both ways) in the car seems like maybe a better idea for now.

Of course, if gas prices rise to $10 per gallon, I’ll have to seriously reconsider it. Maybe I will. Next year.

No end in sight.

• Obama answers every question the Chicago Tribune can think up about Tony Rezko, escapes intact.
• The kicker: Rising gas prices may wipe out any economic benefit of the coming Bush stimulus checks.
• How low will it go? The stock market preps for a rocky Monday.
• Sure Gov. Crist used to smoke weed recreationally, but that’s no reason to change drug policy.
• What Florida needs now is more traffic laws.
• The rich history of St. Patrick’s Day, more recently known as an excuse to wear green and get shit-faced in public.
• Office pool alert: Get your printable NCAA tournament bracket sheet here.
• Beverly Hills 90210: The Spinoff.

(Photo Credit: debaird)